Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

All the lawyers in this thread are being way too literal. The simple answer as to why court proceedings are all in English, and you can't somehow avoid them by claiming to only be fluent in Shyriiwook, is because the court will ignore you if you try and argue that, and there is no way for you to impose your will on the court and the executives that will enforce the court's decisions. I doubt you can construct an airtight logical argument from constitutional first principles regarding why you can be forced to obey a court even if they don't serve you in Klingon. But it doesn't matter because a court will literally ignore you, just like if you claim a court doesn't have proper jurisdiction because the flag has a gold fringe on it, or because your name on the criminal indictment is in all caps. Some people doggedly grasp onto the wrongheaded belief that judicial authority derives from Magic Words of Power or something and all judges must be corrupt and part of The System if they refuse to entertain your notions.

On a related note, here's a list of idiot legal arguments and a tax protestor FAQ listing common "arguments" that people often try to use.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2010 19:29

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 05:56

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

I did fine in high school and not long ago I had a recurring dream that for some reason my high school diploma ended up being invalid and I had to go back but forgot that I had enrolled in a certain class so I had a final I hadn't studied for and also I had forgotten everything about the French language so I was gonna fail that class too

basically the school ur-nightmare

# ¿ Aug 4, 2010 02:55

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Also I think my car broke down so I couldn't get there for a test too

e: :synpa:

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ¿ Aug 4, 2010 02:57

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Ainsley McTree posted:

I liked how in the TV version they changed it to "I HATE EVERYBODY"

Which should be worse if you think about it, since it means he hates all minority groups at the same time

# ¿ Aug 6, 2010 22:16

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

GregNorc posted:

Has anyone made a program that will convert law documents to hypertext? That poo poo should be so cash, especially since they reference other areas of the document/other documents so loving often.

http://www.paradocsonline.com/services/bluecite

# ¿ Aug 8, 2010 00:42

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

HooKars posted:

Philly, which means another bar exam. And the latest start date is August 31st so I have to move quickly.

Nice. Did you hear about it through the grapevine? I'm looking for work in Philly and I really don't know how to find stuff there.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2010 01:38

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

The Warszawa posted:

1L just started. Highlight quote thus far: "None of you have the energy or the perseverance to fail."

Wow Yale Law really sucks their students' dicks

# ¿ Sep 1, 2010 18:23

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Petey posted:

Thought anyone involved in law review would love this.

Yeah when I was on law review I quickly grew disillusioned when I realized that the citechecking bitch work entirely consisted of "is this in the proper Bluebook format / does the cited article say what the citation says it says?" and nothing about "is the cited article actually correct or verifiable?" A law review article could have nothing but citations to timecube.com and as long as it followed BB 11.1(f)(ii) or whatever it would be completely above board as far as any law review is concerned.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2010 20:49

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Baruch Obamawitz posted:

I was on ACLR at Georgetown, working on an article about immigrant cultural mores as a mitigating defense using the example of some custom among the southeast-Asian Hmong and using a particular criminal trial in America, except the author never cited anything saying that the defendant in that trial was himself Hmong only that he was Laotian, and I, of course, raised this as a concern to the editorial board and they fixed it so deal with it you baby.

So the author didn't cite sources for his assertions, whoopty doo. My point being that he could have cited an account of the trial on some podunk blog that said the guy was Hmong, and 99% of law reviews would leave it at that, regardless of whether or not the blog was correct or had any basis for thinking the guy was Hmong or not.

Linguica fucked around with this message at 22:01 on Sep 2, 2010

# ¿ Sep 2, 2010 21:58

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Gadamer posted:

Today is my girlfriend's first day as a lawyer. How long do I have before she starts drinking heavier and beating me?

Today is my girlfriend's first day too, we can start a battered boyfriends' support group

# ¿ Sep 7, 2010 15:11

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

On Saved By The Bell this oh so cute college guy macking on Kelly is a pre-law major :swoon:

# ¿ Sep 14, 2010 13:33

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Adar posted:

Kelly has seen more coke than every Manhattan lawyer combined true story

Could it have been Jessie mayhap?? She did have a thing for caffeine pills after all

# ¿ Sep 14, 2010 15:56

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Draile posted:

This gigantic building is GULC's gym (creepy Thomas the Tank Engine not included):

GULC HAS MOON BOUNCES??? I WENT TO THE WRONG SCHOOL

# ¿ Sep 14, 2010 17:39

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Pretty Much Correct Comics

standing

# ¿ Sep 16, 2010 13:05

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

TyChan posted:

I want to open the blood gates.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2010 17:35

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

http://www.reddit.com/r/law/comments/dh1jh/confused_1l_contemplating_withdrawing_2l_3l/

some person posted:

I am currently attending a T3 school on full scholarship however since day 1 I've felt I made the wrong choice in coming to law school. I do not find myself interested in any classes or engaged in any of the material. I sit through every class glancing at my watch wishing it was over. I dread doing my reading and briefing cases but have no problem completing the work. I'm not behind at all and am understanding the concepts taught thus far. Yet I cannot picture myself actually practicing law. It's a ordeal to drag myself out of bed in the morning. Since I'm only 5 weeks in is it too early to make this type of descision? Or is the fact I've felt this way since day 1 and it has only gotten worse tell me something?

choice responses:

quote:

If you were paying for it, I would be tempted to say that you should withdraw. However, if you're on a free ride, then gently caress it. Stay the course. There are umpteen million things you can do with a JD besides practice law.

quote:

full scholarship is amazing. give it a little longer. jds are worth a lot more than practicing law.

unless you feel like you have something better to do.

quote:

Hang in there; worst case scenario is that you come out of law school with a very valuable degree that can lead to very diverse career paths (you do not have to become a lawyer just because you have a JD).

# ¿ Sep 22, 2010 03:44

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

CIGNX posted:

Can someone elaborate on the "law and economics" and the Learned Hand reference? I'm not immersed in legal philosophy nor have any connection to lawyers and/or law school, but I've seen law and economics pop up before and have no idea what the deal with it is.

The "Hand formula" basically says you're only negligent if the cost burden of preventing that negligence (B) is less than the probability (P) of some bad thing happening negligently, multiplied by the cost of the loss (L) of that bad thing, i.e., B < P*L. For instance, if there's a 10% chance that a person might trip on a crack on the sidewalk outside your store and hurt themselves to the tune of $1000, you're only negligent if fixing the crack would cost less than $100.

Of course, since in the real world it's impossible to accurately value P and L, it basically gives judges a way to legitimize any dumb decision on a negligence issue that they feel like making.

Linguica fucked around with this message at 14:53 on Sep 23, 2010

# ¿ Sep 23, 2010 14:47

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

entris posted:

I applied to every single top 40 law school (except Yale) and I don't remember seeing Sol School of Law but god drat I would have gone to that. I'll bet they have a fantastic energy law program.

Only problem is that it's got a reputation as a bit of a diploma mill, every year it gives out 6,000 degrees :roflolmao:

# ¿ Sep 24, 2010 15:46

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

J Miracle posted:

No I blew my pass/fail on business enterprises cause I let people scare me about the exam and then I got an A anyway.

Lol, the managing editor of my journal apparently pass/failed Transnational Law, a class that everyone is required to take to graduate, and then booked it anyway (i.e. got the highest grade in the class).

# ¿ Sep 28, 2010 14:23

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

whyyy

# ¿ Sep 28, 2010 19:25

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

This blog is amazing: http://chris-armstrong-watch.blogspot.com/

A staffer in the Michigan AG office (who apparently went to Michigan undergrad and Ave Maria Law) maintains an absolutely insane blog where he slings mud at the current Michigan Student Assembly president for his "homosexual agenda". It's full of stuff like this, after the intrepid reporter found some Facebook wall posts which were obviously intended to troll him personally:

quote:

Since this site revealed a few days ago that new Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) President Chris Armstrong, a militant homosexual extremist, had the impudence to host a "gay" orgy at his U of M dorm back in October of 2009, the reaction from the University's homosexual "community" has been predictable. That is, Armstrong's fellow militants are THRILLED that he so perfectly reflects their promiscuous lifestyle.

The evidence is - or at least was - on Chris' Facebook (FB) wall. The screenshot above, which Chris Armstrong Watch obtained from one of its MANY vigilant confidential sources, is from July 6, 2010. In this screenshot, one can see that, within an hour's time, several of Armstrong's fellow extremists congratulate him on hosting the orgy.

First, lesbian student activist Mical DeGraaff wrote:

quote:
Way to host a big gay orgy, dude!

Then, apparently having seen this wall post in his FB newsfeed, U of M student Brad Bergeron "outed" himself as one of the orgy participants and, while taking the Lord's name in vain, commented on DeGraaff's post by disgustingly bragging:

quote:
Oh my god, yes! I had so much sex that night! What a fabulous night of homosexual shenanigans.

That repulsive comment was then followed by another FB wall post from one of Armstrong's fans, Patrick Benjamin Mitchell, who opined:

quote:
Apparently you host the best gay orgies. . . Ever!

It seems clear that Patrick, also a homosexual, was not invited to the orgy event, which is probably because he is also African American. As has been documented here in previous posts, Armstrong recently showed his disdain for minority students by spitting in their faces and joining Order of Angell, a secret student society with a well-known history of racism and elitism. Armstrong outright LIED during his MSA presidential campaign when he publicly stated that he would never join the offensive group.

While his fellow homosexual extremists are predictably delighted with the revelation that Armstrong hosted a "gay" orgy at his dorm, Armstrong seems to recognize that having done so may now just end-up costing him the presidency of MSA, given the natural revulsion that most sane heterosexual members of the U of M community feel about such activity.

Indeed, multiple confidential sources confirm that Armstrong removed the three aforementioned posts/comments from his FB wall within a few hours after they appeared. Hmm . . . it looks as though Armstrong was trying to desperately hide the truth. Unfortunately for Armstrong's political career, Chris did not delete them fast enough. And, enough is enough. It is time for Armstrong to RESIGN NOW!

It almost makes me think the blog itself is a big troll maybe? Like M R GALLETA?

Linguica fucked around with this message at 15:21 on Sep 29, 2010

# ¿ Sep 29, 2010 15:17

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

# ¿ Oct 4, 2010 18:53

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Low Ping Gentleman posted:

I've scored 174 on 10 of the 12 practice tests I've done so far (170/175 for the other two), but for whatever reason I'm convinced that I'll barely score over 160 when it comes to the actual test. I figure practice tests don't mean too much, since you're not facing the pressure of writing an actual test.

If you're diligently taking practice exams in the proper manner (obeying strict time limits in an unfamiliar environment) then your real LSAT score ought to be in the same range.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2010 12:29

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

My girlfriend passed the DE bar :woop:

Now to wait for 4 pm tomorrow to see the PA results :suicide:

# ¿ Oct 7, 2010 17:58

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Stunt Rock posted:

Is she a UVA grad who works as a corporate lawyer in Wilmington, per chance?

Ummm no...

# ¿ Oct 7, 2010 22:35

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Wavelet posted:

Anyone know anything about CA biglaw? The good firms? The bad firms? The TTTs?

That's a pretty ridiculously broad question there

# ¿ Oct 8, 2010 13:46

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

I can't get over just how ridiculous the New Jersey Board of Bar Examiners website is

# ¿ Oct 8, 2010 18:18

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Passed the PA bar exam~~

# ¿ Oct 8, 2010 21:13

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Tetrix posted:

What source can I use as authority for the size of the Beaufort Sea? This is for journal. Do I dare use Wikipedia?

use an almanac, or the New York Public Library Desk Reference, or an encyclopedia http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/57625/Beaufort-Sea

# ¿ Oct 11, 2010 19:56

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

lol

# ¿ Oct 19, 2010 14:37

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miwSljJAzqg&t=169s

# ¿ Oct 19, 2010 18:26

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

here's a paraphrase of the exchange

coons: "schools should be teaching broadly accepted scientific fact, not religious doctrine." (literally true, see, e.g., edwards v. aguillard)

o'donnell: "well you've just proved how little you know about constitutional law. if local school districts want to give equal time to intelligent design, it is their right. the supreme court has always said it is up to the local community to decide which standard to teach. (literally false, see id.) this is just an example of why our country is in the lovely state it's in, because we've moved away from the indispensable principles of our founding."

coons: "one of those indispensable principles is the separation of church and state."

o'donnell: "where in the constitution is the separation of church and state?" (does not know difference between text of constitution and universally accepted canons of constitutional interpretation) (is a retard)

# ¿ Oct 19, 2010 21:25

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Soothing Vapors posted:

comfort me lawgoons

the MPRE is super easy and only takes like 10 hours of study right? I have not taken ethics and have not yet opened a book

if you fail the MPRE with even the slightest modicum of studying you might as well kill yourself

i studied for maybe 5 hours (most of which was half-listening to the free online kaplan videos) and still passed

# ¿ Oct 22, 2010 18:11

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

anonexpedient posted:

Or have people always been so vocal in discouraging people from law schoo, and I just haven't noticed it until now (this is probably the case)?

Besides the other reasons stated, there's also stuff like this

It's not just the law school, it's the massive debt you can go into in order to get it

Linguica fucked around with this message at 13:40 on Oct 29, 2010

# ¿ Oct 29, 2010 13:11

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Lemonus posted:

I swear dig up that man and put him on trial.

Are cadaver synods part of the common law?

# ¿ Oct 29, 2010 14:19

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Zealous Abattoir posted:

So, I bombed the LSAT. I guess I am bowing out.

Congratulations, and I mean that literally.

# ¿ Oct 30, 2010 02:54

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Shang Yang posted:

stuffing a sock into your undies sounds like a certain type of fraud to me

Hasn't some jurisdiction decided women can sue for rape by fraud when a guy pretends to be rich to gently caress women? Not a big leap

# ¿ Nov 8, 2010 04:33

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

passed the NJ bar, sorry Adar :doh:

# ¿ Nov 9, 2010 17:50

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Elotana posted:

Hahaha I got the letter with my actual bar exam score back and I think am the most efficient attorney in Texas

so you got a 675?

# ¿ Nov 10, 2010 15:08

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 05:56

Linguica: Jul 13, 2000; You're already dead

Baruch Obamawitz posted:

a friend of mine dated Aria Giovanni his 2L summer instead of trying to get a job. He still had a job after the bar.

Honestly this is probably more impressive than being a dumb summer associate, shows he's good with client contact :pervert:

# ¿ Nov 17, 2010 16:28

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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