Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Solution: switch over to defense.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2010 14:30

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 11:01

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

sigmachiev posted:

TRANSFER CHAT

Got Berkeley this morning myself yeeeeeeeeeeee!

Congrats. Glad to see that you managed to get good grades between all those nights staying up getting drunk and paddling dudes.

But really, congrats.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2010 03:13

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Death Sandwich posted:

The serious part of my question dealt with the diversity at law schools because I am sort of worried that, especially at Emory, the environment will be more predominantly-WASPy than I am used to.

You're afraid that you're going to go to school with a bunch of Christian whities in the South?

Why don't you even read your school's website? I remember coming across that page frequently when I was considering enrolling at Emory.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2010 23:16

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

That picture is the best picture.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2010 17:22

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

I'm dubious of these claims of solo greatness only because "immigration law" doesn't sound like it nets one all the hookers and blow and phat cars and stacks of money that I've been led to believe a JD would hand me on a silver platter.

poofactory, please confirm/deny your frequency with the above in order to validate your "success" as a lawyer.

On an unrelated note, what happened to Atlas, who last I remember was dealing with a huge gash in his body? Did he actually get medical attention or did his guts just spill out everywhere?

# ¿ Jul 15, 2010 18:41

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Solomon Grundy posted:

Immigration law can be a very lucrative practice, often paid in cash. I know of a lawyer, younger than me, who is tied in with a certain ethnic populace and making gigantic sums of money. I can confirm that poofactory's story is not entirely implausible.

So is immigration law just employment law involving minorities or [legal trouble] involving minorities or what? If it's you become the go-to guy for any sort of legal troubles for a tight-knit population, I could see how it would be pretty lucrative - or, at the very least, quite stable, what with having a steady stream of clients.

builds character posted:

4. I think you have to respect a place that does this, even if you disagree with it.

If burgers were beers that would be a case of Natty Light.

And I just can't respect anything about that.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2010 15:00

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Adar posted:

The janitor thread posted:
I don't know what the moral of the story is, but I'd think twice about loving with Law School.

Next you'll be telling me doctors are respected and nurses get jobs!

Petey posted:

http://www.wcax.com/Global/story.asp?S=12826115 posted:
The New Hampshire Bar Association has posted a message on its website warning that sophisticated scams are targeting lawyers.

I remember a similar notice circulated at my firm from the SC bar. One of our offices actually had a similar issue involving one of their associates, but I believe the bank didn't hold our lawyer accountable (I think due to a lower amount + frequent client).

That sucks for unnamed NH lawyer, though.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2010 00:33

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Adar posted:

From all accounts, the up past midnight, show up the next day on time rule for staff seems to be an exclusively NY thing. Maybe a couple of other cities too, but mostly NY.

I've seen it in DC, but that's just anecdotal. I have no idea what the city's general atmosphere is.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2010 18:11

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Upcoming class of 2013 has a FB group, with various discussion topics.

Gunners already spotted.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2010 23:36

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

In my final days working in mid-law as a non-lawyer. I'm really going to miss it. I love this job.

Being an attorney better be as enjoyable as what I'm doing now but I'm pretty confident that these past two years will end up having been the best job I will ever have had in my entire life _{lol unless if I make it to the federal judiciary lol not going to happen.}

# ¿ Jul 22, 2010 19:47

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

TyChan posted:

If it's so enjoyable, why do you want to be a lawyer?

I get paid in peanuts. No real room for advancement. Firm I work for is pressuring hard on staff's billable and collectable goals, but since our major trial in Jan/Feb work has been pretty sparse. Additionally, and most importantly, having seen what litigation attorneys actually do on a daily basis and feeling that I would enjoy the legal world from that position rather than from the outside/periphery looking in, I'm hoping that:

tau posted:

Being an attorney is the tops.

Is true.

Incidentally, the attorneys I work for were kind enough to divulge the wisdom as to what is best in law school life: to sit in the front of every class, to always raise my hand to answer questions and to bring a roller-bag to carry all of my books.

What great advice! :v:

# ¿ Jul 22, 2010 22:24

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Hey guys you need to chill some guy I interned with at the local county PD office a few years ago who was going to [redacted] - which is actually only provisionally accredited - said that As are for academia, Bs are for Judges and Cs are for us $100k+ attorneys.

True story. So back off.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2010 16:36

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Congrats on the Philly job. Is it just the practice area isn't what you want to do?

Seconding "like" option for posts.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2010 03:08

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Haven't grasped the application behind the concept of "thinking like a lawyer" by the end of week 1 of 1L. Am apparently not that special snowflake that my mom told me I was.

Failed to live up to "don't drink except on weekends" twice already. Pamphlet explaining rampant alcohol abuse handed out at beginning of classes was funny(ironic?).

Professor started today's class with "The good majority of you aren't going to be able to get a firm job. I hope you know what kind of lawyer you want to be." ABL was used as citation. Class' optimism plummeted like a brick. This thread had steeled me against such things as "realistic outcasts" of employment opportunities. International environmental human rights lawyer, in the making.

For what it's worth, I do enjoy pie.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2010 21:27

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Roger_Mudd posted:

The only thing worse than the "thinking like a lawyer" meme is the idea that it will just "click" sometime during your first year.

So I can't just sit back and hope that I just "get it" by osmosis? Drats.

JudicialRestraints posted:

Where are you going again?

W&M.

Red Bean Juice posted:

Click here for the full 500x743 image.

This one is the best one. Sad Face Lawyer is what makes it.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2010 11:38

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Phil Moscowitz posted:

This is why you should go to law school, so you can have a dinner like this

Per the megathread mantra, where's the picture of your company: the perpetually empty chair sitting across from you?

# ¿ Sep 11, 2010 18:36

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Are there any readily available resources of hypos with excellent answers I could mine?

Additionally, which one has better rewards: Lexis or Westlaw? I recall discussion from a while ago but being awesome and not in law school at the time I didn't really care what was going on outside of tacochats.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2010 00:42

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

atlas of bugs posted:

That is what I get from this sentence.

Wanted to be a lawyer before this thread; this thread just allowed my expectations to be appropriately leveled to a future filled with shitlaw.

Grammar Fascist posted:

The best tip I figured out is to set up an alert on both Westlaw and Lexis to Shepardize/KeyCite some case every day, and e-mail yourself the result... you'll then automatically get the daily points for doing a search (often double points for Shepardizing/KeyCiting). I have a filter set up so the e-mails automatically get deleted every morning and I never have to see them, but I still get the points.

Thanks. Will use library time today to set this up. Since I didn't really pay attention in the training session I will take my time with each and consider the hour I waste getting this set up not only well spent but incredibly productive. It will then be time for some lunch at South of the Boarder.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2010 15:01

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Feeling this:

Jove posted:

Law School Trip Report:

WHY THE gently caress CAN'T I WRITE A LEGAL MEMO.

WHY.

WHY.

OH GOD IT HURTS.

But knowing this:

J Miracle posted:

Someday down the road you will crank out a legal memo in like 1 day and you will look back on this time of your life and laugh at how hard you thought it was.

Is frustrating as hell.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2010 10:25

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Petey posted:

http://laboratorium.net/archive/2010/09/26/a_parable_of_horribles

I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this. I have a drill group to attend, you let me know when I get back tonight. Thanks.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2010 10:33

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Solomon Grundy posted:

By 9 a.m., I have been up for at least 4 hours, made three breakfasts and lunches, washed and dressed three kids, delivered them to school/preschool, showered and dressed, got to the office, and worked for at least an hour.

Quit whining.

Next time I see a 5 o'clock-and-change Grundy post, I can only assume some child out there isn't getting a healthy breakfast/lunch that day.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2010 03:52

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Neko Sou posted:

LEEWS ... we're guaranteed Bs

Bs are common fare, so guaranteed Bs aren't the best thing to throw money at. As far as I am aware, LEEWS gives you at least a base line for how to take a law school test (I have not taken LEEWS). It's probably just as helpful as one of the other 0L supplements about how to take LS exams - it really depends on several individual factors that dictates how useful the takeaway is. And even then, there's only so much it can teach. All of that said, I picked up Getting to Maybe because I want to feel like I earned my B and I feel confident that I will be flying solidly in the middle of the pack!

Totally Negro posted:

Now, given what I've read in this thread, I've basically told him that if he's not going to a top 13 school he's just throwing money away on a law education.

Ha ha, yeah, gently caress Georgetown and their lovely U.S.Neohgodwhydidn'ttheyacceptme?

BigHead posted:

The real moment most of us realize they made a mistake is when we read our first 50 page Motion for Partial Summary Judgment re Cross Claim's Interest Rate Start Date

When are those handed out?

# ¿ Oct 1, 2010 00:55

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

JudicialRestraints posted:

This is about right. My 173 average on my practice tests turned into a 168. (NOTE: I did not study for the 3 months before my test. I stayed up all night the night before watching Battlestar Galactica. I really only have myself to blame but I choose to blame others).

If you were watching Crossroads Pt. 1 and 2, you only have yourself to blame for not learning what you needed to know by osmosis.

I'm going to law school to practice space law. That is to say, I want to get genocidal and morally ambiguous yet incredibly charismatic and well dressed men off the hook for wrongful conduct... in space!

# ¿ Oct 5, 2010 15:29

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Defenestration posted:

Really, wrongful conduct? That's what they were charging him with? I was under the impression it was Treason.

PS. SPOILERSSSSSS

This post certifies that Defenestration knows something about television.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2010 12:02

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

I would settle for New York level pay, 1900 billables as more of a suggestion than a requirement, and my work being limited to performing opening and closings for the really interesting cases (hand me bullet points on flashcards ten minutes before showtime).

Oh, and I get invited to the team lunches/dinners whenever we're ordering from some place good.

Is that asking too much?

# ¿ Oct 8, 2010 16:41

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

hypocrite lecteur posted:

I saw more drug (ab)use in law school than I have anywhere before or since. A lawyer that turns down an opportunity to drink is like a calf born with half its skin, 3 malformed legs, and an eye in its forehead. If you can, drown her and put her out of her freak misery

Endured a mandatory, hour-long lecture today about the dangers of substance abuse and clinical depression in law school and the legal profession.

That was fun. I felt like someone was just reading the appropriate OP sections back at me.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2010 21:22

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

BigHead posted:

When I got that lecture, it was some sad sack of a man who was denied admittance to the bar because of his drinking. My friends and I all agreed that he was a sad pathetic alchy because any half-decent alchy can still function enough during the day to hide it from the ethics committee.

My guy made it to 43, made partner, had three cars, a big house, two kids, two dogs and a beautiful wife before the intervention caught up with him. I felt like he was bragging, having gotten all of that while being empty on the inside and yet desperately trying to fill it up with alcohol and material wealth.

He sort of rambled, so I wasn't entirely too sure what he was trying to get across. Maybe I misunderstood. He did say he wanted to hurt and destroy the people at his intervention though. That was a bit awkward.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2010 21:31

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

echopapa posted:

As of today, I have reached five Bingos.

When you put it like that, you make it sound like family law is actually interesting!

# ¿ Oct 15, 2010 11:57

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Red Bean Juice posted:

Justice Breyer swung by today, and I got him to sign a comic

That's awesome. You have fans at my TTT, please keep making and posting.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2010 03:33

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Torts professor made fun of the class (again) yesterday for going to law school. He laughed at there being no jobs for us.

The majority of class laughed with him. I'm thinking not because it was funny because it was true, but because it was funny because everyone's a special snowflake and that just won't hold true for them.

That's why I laughed. It helps to mask the otherwise blind panic and fear.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2010 10:13

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Ainsley McTree posted:

people in LF are talking about me?

I knew where the city of Barrow was for bar trivia because of you. Thanks for that.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2010 17:55

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Mookie posted:

No love for my Meatholes trvia?

Is he a client, is that how you know this?

Does he pay you in porn stars? Is that what you use instead of clown hookers or whatever shenanigans Phil debases himself with?

# ¿ Nov 17, 2010 03:54

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

CmdrSmirnoff posted:

You need to get yourself some la Fin du Monde

On a related note beer reviews are almost as bad as lies told by law school admissions committees: "notes of grain/wheat, pineapple, peaches, clove/yeast and some tartness. It begins with honey and biscuity malt and moves into light fruit with a hint of bitterness/light sparkling cider quality. The mouthfeel is coating, with moderate thickness and high carbonation."

It's just a loving beer jesus christ

Plebe spotted.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2010 02:17

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Feces Starship posted:

I'm so sorry Green Crayons. With a word like "mouthfeel" just hanging out there I just had to.

No harm, no foul as long as your dong is coated with moderate thickness.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2010 03:29

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

atlas of bugs posted:

Can I just HAVE the money you were going to spend on applications to schools you weren't planning on attending?

I'll set up a Paypal or something, it could be one-click easy for you.

And at least you'd have contributed to society in some way.

I want my money back from all of those T-14s who rejected me. I could just buy so much alcohol with it.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2010 11:35

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

At least I hear Natty Ice is great a dulling the pain.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2010 04:15

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

CaptainScraps posted:

Texas blows!

Man, Texas blows. Are you going to stay there just because the job market in poo poo so bad job > no job?

# ¿ Nov 22, 2010 18:03

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

It's because he showed weakness.

# ¿ Nov 24, 2010 20:54

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

The answer is always "copious."

# ¿ Nov 30, 2010 01:50

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 11:01

Green Crayons: Apr 2, 2009

Why am I so loving sloooooooooow at writing responses?

Because I'm bad.

# ¿ Dec 1, 2010 04:23

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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