Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Check out the poo poo you have to go through for an unpaid, uncredited internship with the 36th Circuit in Detroit

The site requires a resume, cover letter, writing sample (3-5 pages MAXIMUM), and 3 references (a list of references containing name, title, employer name, address, phone number and e-mail address if you have it). Additionally, the court requires an OFFICIAL transcript. This means you will need to request it from the Registrar's office, pay for it, and have it sent directly to the site. The address is provided below.

The Court's interview process is as follows: Upon receipt of materials, you will meet with XXXXXX the Court Administrator. She will then send you to HR to be fingerprinted and drug tested. That process takes about 2 weeks. Assuming you meet those requirements, you will interview with a judge.

Attire: Other than single earrings in each ear, no body piercings may be visible. ALL tattoos must be covered. They have a specific summer dress code which she did not provide but said women who wear skirts above the knee must wear nylons.

Pre-interview fingerprinting and drug testing? Restrictive summer dress code? Sign me up!

# ¿ May 7, 2010 16:22

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 16:57

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

They just seem pretty far up their own rear end for a traffic, DUI, and misdemeanor court

# ¿ May 7, 2010 16:31

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

JudicialRestraints posted:

Lawrence? Since when is 'conlaw' 'buttsex law'

DUDE individual rights and stuff is conlaw I know you had a conlaw class that talked about federalism and poo poo but there's more to the area, look in your course guide there's probably a Conlaw II or something

# ¿ May 7, 2010 19:11

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

I would do it and I would kiss that judge's rear end, I mean like baking cookies and cleaning the bathroom and poo poo. I would study the books she has in the house and read them so I could have conversations with her about them, subliminating all of my own opinions and agreeing with everything she said like a pathetic toady

# ¿ May 7, 2010 20:44

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

JudicialRestraints posted:

Awesome, looks like the curve is nice and low already.

Thank god for illiteracy at state schools.

Wow your prof did a weird 10A question, I think mine was just straight-up commandeering and stuff like that. Also hardly talked about N&P other than the whole "this is what lets Congress do things vs. it's basically redundant" thing.

Still that's pretty awesome that a lot of your class fell into one of the most common exam pitfalls, not answering the question asked.

# ¿ May 7, 2010 21:26

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

I've never gotten a B what's that like? (I can joke because I'll still die alone and penniless)

# ¿ May 7, 2010 22:13

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

I just changed my summer class from Evidence to Law and Literature because I just do not give a gently caress

# ¿ May 8, 2010 04:01

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

nm posted:

Man, yu're giving up your chance for an easy evidence "A." Evidence is basically the only course that matters.

Evidence is a required class here so I'll still take it next year I just didn't want to take a 4-credit class compressed into half the time(meaning 2 3-hour classes a week with 60-90 pages of reading per class).

# ¿ May 8, 2010 04:46

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

nm posted:

For some reason I think you go to UMN.
If this is true, take the evidence class over the summer (esp if Cribari is taking it). You will thank me later.
If you don't, for others who might: Take Cribari's summer evidence course. You'll get an "A," you'll learn the gently caress out of evidence, and because the class is small he can write you a real letter of recommendation.

Sorry dog I go to a TTT in Michigan (not Cooley)

# ¿ May 8, 2010 05:06

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Incredulous Red posted:

Ave Maria?

I always forget that one exists, but no, MSU, weren't you the one that asked me if I knew somebody from there?

I don't remember if I answered but if that was you, the answer is "kinda."

# ¿ May 8, 2010 05:37

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Napoleon I posted:

So, done with 1L as of Thursday!

Problem: due to my loving up the online application process, I can't apply for Law Review (or any other journal, for that matter).

How hosed am I? I have no interest in academia (or actually being on law review), but wanted to clerk.

If LR is absolutely off the table, try to find a journal that you can write onto at a later time if your school has any, mine has some non-LR journals that you can write onto your third year.

You'll want a law journal if you want to clerk. Ideally you want law review, sorry to say...if it was some sort of simple error maybe you could get an override or something?

EDIT: If not, do Moot Court or something and try to write during your time at law school, also try to do clerk-type extern/internships if possible.

# ¿ May 8, 2010 20:46

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

The Arsteia posted:

i go to a TTT for free and it still feels like a waste, cant imagine what paying for it would be like

I heaaaaarrrrddddddd that

I paid for the first year like a chump too

# ¿ May 9, 2010 05:46

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

2l's without summer associate gigs, next year if everything still sucks (it will), we might want to consider applying for Presidential Management Fellowships, they're 1-2 posts with government agencies, they don't require a law degree but just some sort of advanced degree. A few people from my school got them and I think there's some sort of loan forgiveness option plus like 60k so it's not the worst thing in the world.

https://www.pmf.opm.gov/

# ¿ May 9, 2010 21:29

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

that dude falling off to the side is the luckiest dude

# ¿ May 9, 2010 22:54

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

I just spent 14 hours doing a take home for Complex Civil Litigation and around hour 12 I literally threw up. Like eight times. Apparently 4 is the limit for Rockstar Zeros I should drink in a day.

# ¿ May 12, 2010 08:25

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Incredulous Red posted:

Anyone have good conlaw flowcharts?

I need Due Process, Federal Legislative Power (Commerce, Tenth Amendment, Taxing and Spending, 13th, 14th, 15th Amendments), Dormant Commerce Clause, and Federal Executive Power.

gently caress this gay earth.

CrunchTime has decent ones

# ¿ May 13, 2010 01:40

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Any other 3Ls feel like they don't have enough credits left to take all the classes they want, or am I just a freak? I have 19 credits of classes all 3L year and I have a shitload I want to take. I know it won't matter because I'll die alone and penniless anyway, but...arrrggghh.

# ¿ May 18, 2010 16:39

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Just had my clinic professor email me and say we "won" our first case, if by "won" you mean "get your application for leave to appeal denied but get the case remanded to correct a minor error in fines."

I'm sure the guy sitting in jail for 4 years, who pleaded guilty to probation violation thinking he'd get 9 months and got slapped with the max instead, must really feel like a winner as he realizes he owes slightly less in court costs.

# ¿ May 18, 2010 19:02

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Can we stop posting the story about the guy from MSU there's gotta be other cautionary tales from other TTTs

# ¿ May 19, 2010 01:52

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Everybody bitching about write-ons should just sack up and do it, if you finish the drat thing you've already beat out like 70% of the people that picked up the packet.

# ¿ May 19, 2010 02:59

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

newberstein posted:

I apologize in advance but I am going to keep my question fairly general because I don't want any goon detectives bothering my relative.

I have an uncle who is a dean in a completely unrelated department at a T14 school. What I want to know is how much of an impact will this connection have when it comes time to apply. When I emailed him all he said was that when I submit my application, let him know. I didn't want to bother him so I left it at that. Realistically, if it were me applying like any other person I would probably get wait listed at best, and thats purely because I am Mexican. Once again sorry this is so vague.

edit: I have a 3.4 GPA and the practice tests that I have been taking make me think I will score in the 168-172 range

If he's in some department that isn't the law school it probably won't have any real impact, it certainly wouldn't hurt you in any way but I doubt it'll be of huge assistance.

# ¿ May 19, 2010 13:30

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

I had a guy for my clinic that was caught whacking off in a car, allowed the cop to search his car finding his crackpipe, and then as he was getting arrested the cop asked him if it was OK to search his house and the guy said "sure actually I've got some weed there."

# ¿ May 20, 2010 00:27

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Phil Moscowitz posted:

also all of that poo poo about not talking, refusing consent etc. is good in theory, but say "officer I respectfully choose to exercise my rights, and I refuse to consent to a search" to a cop who wants to arrest you and you will be going to jail regardless. he'll call the K-9 unit. he'll trump up something to arrest you on and do an inventory search. don't matter one bit.

say "go ahead," and maybe he won't find that joint wedged between the seat and the console.

This has never come up for me but I always thought it sounded more believable if you were just all pissy about it and said something like "gently caress no you're not tearing up my car and getting my poo poo everywhere."

# ¿ May 20, 2010 01:00

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Is an externship with a state court of appeals research division a "judicial externship" I mean I wrote poo poo for judges.

# ¿ May 21, 2010 17:16

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

New OSCAR's up and running...I'd like to think I could get a federal clerkship SOMEWHERE but we'll see. It seems to me it's all about how many of the judge's search parameters can you fit into...I think I'm pretty good at that except for one minor one, that little criterion of not attending a TTT but that can't be that relevant right?

# ¿ May 22, 2010 07:30

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Yeah I know dude it's a small chance. One thing I've got going for me is I'm from Michigan's frozen north and there's one magistrate judge stuck up there in exile that might need a clerk.

# ¿ May 22, 2010 15:55

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Tetrix posted:

I have a stack of class papers/notes that is at least a foot high and also a legislation and regulation book that is getting a new edition and so the bookstore wouldn't buy it back. Is there any reason to keep any this stuff? I am moving in a week. All I could think of is if I had to challenge a grade, but I don't know what good this stuff would really do.

If you get a real sturdy bag you can throw all your old casebooks into it and use it to do heavy carries, its great conditioning.

Otherwise there's probably somewhere at your school that you can donate old books if you can't sell them.

# ¿ May 22, 2010 17:52

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

jonmitz posted:

Did anyone here have a graduate degree in engineering (in my case, MS EE, 3.7+) and then go to law school? From what I understand, they are rare, and highly sought after.

I go to law school with a crapload of engineers. When we all started everyone assumed the engineers were going to get summer associateships and all kinds of poo poo from IP firms, it only really happened to one of them who managed to squeak one out at the patent fair (giant IP cattle-call type job fair held in a few major cities I believe).

# ¿ May 23, 2010 14:59

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

TheBestDeception posted:

I took a class on Jurisprudence (Greenawalt) ... out of necessity ... for a 12 hour M/W schedule, instead of inconvenient hours that I didn't need. I hated every minute. Imagine a bunch of Petey's arguing back and forth, yeah, its that bad.

Speaking of annoying classes, I also took Human Rights and ended up getting an A, which is awesome because that class had (by far) the highest ratio of LLMs to JDs. And boy do LLMs like to speak their minds. Especially about human rights, and in defense of their precious countries. And how much they hate Israel and stuff.

My scholarship made me take a Jurisprudence class and I fuckin hated it. I don't know what happened but I am just not interested in debating poo poo for the sake of debate anymore, at least when I have to go to a classroom to do it.

And the douchebags...lord the douchebags.

# ¿ May 25, 2010 18:08

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

nm I failed at reading

J Miracle fucked around with this message at 13:23 on May 26, 2010

# ¿ May 26, 2010 13:21

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Defleshed posted:

Apparently there's at least one judge in the U.S. who is biased against the prosecution!

http://www.bnd.com/2010/05/26/1270386/wharton-takes-himself-off-case.html

Interesting article. I wonder what possessed him to write a letter like that?

Maybe he's not a fan of police denying a guy legal counsel after he asks for it and continuing to question him...I think there's some piece of paper somewhere that says they're not supposed to do that

# ¿ May 26, 2010 14:51

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Ainsley McTree posted:

There is no best of it! Goddamn! The answer is "neither!" If you like this girl at all, do not let her go to either of those law schools, the "best of it" would be moving back in with her parents and hoping that one of them can find her a job I am not exaggerating to you

It's been 3 or 4 weeks and at this point I'm satisfied that starbucks is never going to respond to my application. I also suspect that I am not a lucky dog and will not be interviewing with chipotle

edit: for reference, every time a post like yours comes up, many of us suspect it is a troll because the prospective law student at question is making such a dumb decision that if they'd read any of the words in the OP at all they wouldn't even bother to ask. In other words, law school (especially a bad law school, like the ones your girlfriend is looking at) is such a dumb idea that whenever someone posts in the law school thread about thinking about going to law school we assume they're trolling because nobody could ever be so dumb as to want to go to law school

that's how big of a mistake your girlfriend is trying to make, you really need to do your damndest to talk her out of it (unless you actually are trolling in which case drat me for falling for it again)

Ainsley don't take this the wrong way but you are a grim and terrible portent of my own bleak future

# ¿ May 27, 2010 14:16

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Roger_Mudd posted:

Assuming they aren't in the top 10 of their class? very hosed.

I literally cling to qualifiers like these

# ¿ May 28, 2010 22:32

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

If you end up at a TTT somehow (fiddled the devil and lost, gypsy curse, etc) the one perk is that being in the top 5% of your class is about as challenging as managing to get whiskey from the bottle into your belly

# ¿ May 29, 2010 06:09

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

The Arsteia posted:

not really imo, i p. much spend all my free time studying and i barely crack the top 10%

Maybe other schools are different my school appears to be clogged with dimwits, then again we have a part-time program which is not, contrary to what you might think, full of people that work, have kids, and go to school part-time to try and better themselves but is instead full of people who transitioned right from Big 10 undergrad who don't want to get up before noon and still visit their old frat houses.

EDIT: of course these people have a much better quality of life than me

# ¿ May 30, 2010 01:47

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

I want some graaaaaddddeeeesss. Profs at my school, with the rare exception, are slow as poo poo with exam grades, and this semester I had two classes taught by adjuncts so that'll probably take forever.

# ¿ May 31, 2010 05:24

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

JudicialRestraints posted:

That's funny, I've already had to read several cases involving Disney. They kinda sue everyone over thinking about Mickey Mouse without paying them.

Disney is involved in several classic business associations/corporate type cases.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2010 18:34

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Welp this job sucks I should go back to school and become a lawyer because I enjoy problem-solving and challenges

# ¿ Jun 3, 2010 23:20

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Uggh some of the Court of Appeals briefs were so bad, no just low-level criminal briefs either, the worst one I read was from the counsel of a bank that was being sued by a loan servicer for 900,000 dollars and the brief was just a horrible piece of poo poo that completely missed the issue.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2010 19:58

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 16:57

J Miracle: Mar 25, 2010; It took 32 years, but I finally figured out push-ups!

Goons be suin their parents http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3313177

# ¿ Jun 6, 2010 06:12

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Lawyer & Law School Megathread #12: Started Out Barrister, Ended Up Barista

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