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I am in, and will teach the mandatory 1L class Island Law, writing my own textbook, revising it slightly each year and requiring purchase of the new version. I will require an out-of-the-way office with frosted windows and a hidden escape hatch behind my office chair that dumps me directly into a discreet alleyway, bar or unused classroom when I lean back really far. On the first day of class, all students will be required to fill out a Mad Libs form of nouns, verbs, etc. that will be used in a pre-planned form letter when they ask me for letters of recommendation. Jennifer has a very chocolatey personality and her biggest assets are her railing, cellphone and Optimus Prime. Every Friday will be Life Skills Friday, meaning that I expect whoever I call upon to be drunk, but still able to discuss cases via the Socratic Method. Bonus points to the final grade are awarded if the student is able to maintain civility when it becomes entirely obvious that I haven't read the cases, repeat the same question with different language, repeat the same question in a different language, text other people while they answer, or text the student answering the question while they answer. wut u doin tonite? There will be no penis jokes or snickering during the discussion of Chapter 3, Cockfighting. There will be a two-week period mid-semester in which I will be absent but students will be required to work on their floats for the Island Law parade. Points will be awarded based upon theme, execution, and aesthetics, with bonus points going to the team that blares the most annoying Filipino pop music. I will usually start class 10-25 minutes late, and will likely spill over into the next period. Students should make their own arrangements with the professor whose class is next. Though I do expect the students to be prepared for class, those who are not prepared when called upon may choose to take the 'karaoke' option, and perform one of three songs that I will present. At least two will be in English, and points will be awarded primarily on effort and perseverence rather than tone. Am already sewing elbow patches onto my barong.
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Aug 31, 2010 06:35
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Ainsley McTree posted:Oh no, is Guam one of those cannibal islands? Well, some of the girls ARE head-hunters...
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Aug 31, 2010 07:51
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Mr. Fictitious posted:Hello lawthread. I successfully quit lawschool. Just fyi. "...and this bird you cannot chayayayayayayayange"
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Sep 3, 2010 04:50
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If anyone's interested in doing child support attorney work at the AG's office here, PM me w/ resume. Spot may open shortly. Starts at 40k, though it's likely that will be bumped to 50k next month.
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Sep 9, 2010 07:01
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BigHead posted:Fun fact: Alaska's version of Rudy Giuliani doesn't just pack heat, he packs a loving assault rifle. Dude has four guns (that I saw) in his office. Two huntin' rifles, one hand gun for protection, and one assault rifle "just 'cause." Our former AG had an entire armory in his personal office (his family runs the gun stores), and went around with two investigator/bodyguards at all times. The AG that won the subsequent election entered the office at 12:01 AM and changed the locks, since there were rumors of an impending armed standoff. Many people at the office called in sick that day.
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Oct 1, 2010 07:57
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BigHead posted:You know how some OBGYNs become OBGYNs just so they can dissuade and/or kill women who want abortions? Some prosecutors become prosecutors just so they can put poor black/brown people in jail, and to hell with the law. It's so crazy these stories of the crazy rear end people who purport to be on the same intellectual level as us. These guys are the Tea Party of lawyers. Even penniless paupers who will die alone and young (from liver failure) (all of us) know these guys are insane Fair prosecutors get hung out to dry and don't last in a judicial system bent on splitting babies and a political system encouraging a blind jihad against crime regardless of circumstances.
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Oct 6, 2010 04:49
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BigHead posted:To be fair, fair prosecutors aren't elected. And if they aren't elected, they don't give a gently caress what some hick from the sticks thinks. And by "hick from the sticks" I mean hick from the sticks and elected official. Doesn't really matter. Just an additional link in the chain. If it's an appointment, it's still open to political interference from an elected official. If your office gets poo poo on by the press, that elected official will think he's making himself look good by loving with the office. Phil Moscowitz posted:What they got against white folk where you all are from? They got a lot against white folk here. White folk get convicted. Not as much as Chuukese, but more than average. Edit: It's really not helping that the White Folk are trying to take a lot more of their land at the moment, either. Abugadu fucked around with this message at 05:52 on Oct 6, 2010 |
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Oct 6, 2010 05:39
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scribe jones posted:a friend of mine just took the LSAT. he wants to go to lewis and clark. what do I do http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Yeller_(1957_film)
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Oct 11, 2010 02:05
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J Miracle posted:Yeah overturn Marbury v. Madison that poo poo was bullshit fuggin activist judges an poo poo
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Oct 20, 2010 02:15
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Spider Chipmunk posted:We've got it but my Legal Practice professor doesn't want us using it on things for him, so I mostly use the original. Don't like Lexis as much but it does seem easier to get points on so far. kick susan guindi for me
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Oct 27, 2010 06:40
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IM FROM THE FUTURE posted:Also, if anyone has any info on the sad prospects of becoming FBI outside of this forum I could use as a reference. I would appreciate it. The only positive about coming from law into the FBI is that they count your law school years towards your pay grade. I worked with an FBI agent here when I prosecuted, and he said he'd write a recommendation if I applied, but that was back when there weren't an extra eleventy billion unemployed law grads. My hunch is that someone who could speak Spanish fluently would have a better chance than a law school grad at this point.
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Nov 5, 2010 00:29
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Save me jeebus posted:Of the Western Colorado prosecutor news you guys could have pulled, you picked that one? Similar situation in Michigan, asst. AG job might be open soon...
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Nov 9, 2010 07:55
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Napoleon I posted:My dream job is mafia lawyer. For some reason my brain popped the phrase "Casa Gliere" as the official term for a mafia lawyer, but I can find no support for that whatsoever. It's probably a musical term. But I still recall there being some Italian term for it, maybe it got stuck in my head from a Puzo book. Anyone remember it?
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Nov 15, 2010 02:54
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My fried brain thanks you.
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Nov 15, 2010 04:28
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Elected President of the U.S., 2032.
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Nov 19, 2010 01:27
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Just returned from a vacation to the Philippines to find an opposition brief from my most frequent opponent, who has graciously decided to fall into the trap I carefully laid out for him on a SoL issue. There was fist pumping. Currently deciding on the amount of smarm to include in the reply.
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Nov 30, 2010 01:49
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Direwolf posted:Applying for summer jobs hooray hooray. Anyone done a judicial internship/externship? Deal or no deal? Our career center is really pushing applying to them, and it sounds nice but so is anything they ever talk about. Is it anything like clerking, either in terms of the work or the prestige? It's usually exactly like clerking, except you don't get paid, you usually don't get as good of references out of it, and employers never really seem impressed about it other than 'at least you didn't sit on your rear end'. OTOH, I did get one callback strictly because of an internship with a judge, as I happened to write the opinion on a case my interviewer had partly handled.
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Dec 3, 2010 00:15
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Adar posted:I think the most important question is what kind of retarded school doesn't allow outline sharing when the entire loving profession is made up of endlessly reusing boilerplate contracts and memos over and over goddamn I have a suspicion that firm billable hours probably got gutted by 80% or so once copy/paste was created.
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Dec 13, 2010 07:18
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Phil Moscowitz posted:Yall talkin chinese up in this bitch 1. some dude tried to patent the idea of a forum with flexible rules 2. b.o. shot it down, citing to SA as evidence that it been done before 3. elotana pointin' out that is some obvious poo poo, an observation that is also obvious, which should be obvious to anyooooooohhh poo poo recursive loop he;lp
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Dec 21, 2010 06:44
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Elotana posted:"Law school" is not a wonderful, incredible, amazing place. Maybe Harvard is, but don't pretend your dumbass prestige boner and 1L naiveté makes law school a great decision for the other 99% of potential law students. drat son you gettin trolled by izzy again when you gonna learn, i bet you still fall for that 'naive' isn't in the dictionary prank too also izzy how many hobos have you stabbed edit: this is for a survey d-edit: a science survey Abugadu fucked around with this message at 01:31 on Dec 29, 2010 |
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Dec 29, 2010 01:27
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Forever Zero posted:So I came in touch with the girl I dated in the past and it turns out that she isn't at UGA but at John Marshall Law School (Atlanta). Because they gave her a partial scholarship. I'm sure she can get in the top quartile of her class because she got accepted into University of Mich Ann Arbor. Tell her the highlight of the rest of her life will be if she participates in the Guam internship program that John Marshall has. But only if she's hot. And if she's hot, don't tell her that 0 people have gotten a job as a result of that program either. Tell her she might get a chance to touch a live Michigan grad though.
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Jan 2, 2011 13:02
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billion dollar bitch posted:This must be what it's like to be the fat girl at a party. Nah, fat girls have it good. So no one makes a move on them, whatever, they go home, eat some ice cream, get some self worth from their cats, watch Eclipse and then masturbate to a Cullen-filled fantasy, and fall snugly asleep. You, on the other hand, will get to do 3L OCI interviews with firm interviewers that obviously would rather be in line at the DMV, probably graduate without a job, spend the next few months after graduation sending resume after resume in a Sisyphian deluge, never receiving a reply, start looking for something, anything, too proud for the first year to leave the JD off your resume, but slowly realizing that it is a $150k albatross around your neck, dragging you down financially, emotionally, killing your job prospects worse than if you'd walked in the room and farted in the interviewer's face, until you finally pretend law school never even happened, why no Mr. Pearson, for those years, the reason I didn't have anything on there was because I was doing gay porn. And when he smiles, easing back into his chair, unzipping his fly as you stumble over, you'll feel free, elated, ecstatic as you gobble his manhood, because you finally have a job. A wonderful, middling white-collar job just like you always dreamed. Might not be in law, but well law never felt right anyway. Me, I'd pick ice cream.
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Jan 7, 2011 07:56
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I've been screaming about data exaggeration for seven years now. Just now the Times figures it out? Jesus.quote:Solving the J.D. overabundance problem, according to Professor Henderson, will have to involve one very drastic measure: a bunch of lower-tier law schools will need to close. But nobody inside of the legal establishment, he predicts, has the stomach for that. “Ultimately,” he says, “some public authority will have to step in because law schools and lawyers are incapable of policing themselves.” Or, how about going all Cali, and not making law school mandatory? It's getting obvious that you can learn in one summer all you need to know, and you learn more in the first 6 months on the job than you ever would over the three years, so save law school for those who are going for the extra training in specialized areas.
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Jan 9, 2011 04:05
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jake1357 posted:That sounds like a pretty roundabout way of dealing with the problem. Is the idea that people would then abandon getting JDs and most schools would go out of business? Would firms hire people who didn't go to law school? I'm not sure. It's not something novel, other countries do it with a decent degree of success. It eliminates the worst barrier to entry of the market, the cost/time sink of going to law school. Sure, you'll get a few more lovely lawyers, but lovely lawyers can already make it through the system now, with the amount of TTT's open who will take anyone with a pulse. There will still be some people who go to law school, if they want to specialize or have an edge getting a job/clerkship. Japan already does this, the only difference is that their bar exam is ungodly tough/obscure to keep the barrier to entry in place. But they have separate law schools and 'bar exam' schools.
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Jan 9, 2011 05:47
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Doppelganger posted:Any goon attorneys: Become head of my department and create a goon-filled office, fridges full of Code Red Mountain Dew and bags of Cheetos everywhere.
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Jan 12, 2011 03:07
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Mookie posted:Can you get Code Red that far out into the Pacific? I mean, do you have to build huge cargo cult effigies in the hopes of getting a case air dropped? The Gaben created from the red mud has worked wonders. We actually get an amazing variety of things out here. The military presence ensures we get most of the US foodstuffs, and we have a large amount of Asian/Filipino/Aussie food as well. And one Indian grocer.
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Jan 12, 2011 04:40
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Basic premise is wrong: NFL doesn't have a broad antitrust exemption, MLB is the only one that enjoys this thanks to Oliver Wendell Holmes' major boner for baseball. Edit: Ok, I see where you're going with it, let me give a better answer in a bit. Abugadu fucked around with this message at 05:58 on Jan 12, 2011 |
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Jan 12, 2011 05:55
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The owners might have the ability to challenge the decertification, which would string things out. But the players won the last trial after they decertified in the early 90's, so the tactic's worked once before. The major downside: Both times that there have been shortened seasons because of labor issues, the Redskins won the Super Bowl. Edit: Probably wouldn't take that long, it'd get fast tracked for sure.
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Jan 12, 2011 06:04
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Petey posted:Wasn't 1987 a strike though? Have the players ever decertified for a lockout? It started as a strike, the players lost the first case because of the exemption, they then decertified in 1989 and the case with Freeman McNeil was the one where they won after the decertification wiped out the exemption.
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Jan 12, 2011 06:16
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My guess is that if it comes to a decertification & lawsuit, it'll be a lot like 1987: a few games of lockout before players agree to come back under temporary terms while the suit procedes. However, SCOTUS has been all over the place on this poo poo, so who knows. It's a pretty weighty issue, and a little-publicized opinion this year called American Needle, which rejected the NFL's argument that they were a single entity and couldn't be colluding with itself, kept things balanced for a bit. Fun related reading: The McNeil fallout: http://tech.mit.edu/V112/N39/nfl.39w.html But see also: Brown v. Pro Football, Inc., 518 U.S. 231 (1996). http://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/95-388.ZO.html (Brown is where we learned that without decertification, the players are hosed)
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Jan 12, 2011 06:38
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Don't go, part-time job, get hosed: http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/law_grad_with_no_plan_to_repay_debt_fails_character_and_fitness_mandate_ohi/ quote:Griffin had $170,000 in student-loan debt and $16,500 in credit-card debt. He earns $12 an hour at his part-time job with the PD. Opinion: https://www.supremecourt.ohio.gov/rod/docs/pdf/0/2011/2011-ohio-20.pdf Abugadu fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Jan 14, 2011 |
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Jan 14, 2011 02:57
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MEET ME BY DUCKS posted:So if T14 isn't the cut off anymore, what is? T10? HYS, sure. Anything else, hope you're not risk-adverse.
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Jan 24, 2011 11:46
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CmdrSmirnoff posted:Never bring a woman into the store. Anytime I bring my wife into a Gamestop/board game store she starts doing that "NEEEEERRRRRDS" thing that Ogre does in Revenge of the Nerds, just loudly enough for the nearest person to hear and feel ashamed.
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Jan 29, 2011 04:20
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The two most accurate characters I've seen are Lionel Hutz and Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. edit: aw goddamn it
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Feb 4, 2011 04:56
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MaximumBob posted:But I did see that I can now get an LL.M. in taxation from NYU without ever setting foot in New York. This is oddly tempting, although I can't imagine that an LL.M. is something that will make even the smallest bit of difference in my career. There's all sorts of poo poo I think is tempting that wouldn't have a difference for me. With a UMich degree (there's like 8 other schools this applies to) I can take the Singapore bar, which would supposedly give me an in with all the Commonwealth countries. And there's a few other territories/republics/federated states out here where I could probably sleepwalk through their bar exams. But all that fancy dressin' is mattering less and less these days, and I've let two of my bar memberships go inactive now.
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Feb 23, 2011 07:24
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How many times have you heard someone in the hallway give their best sassy "AW YOU DONE GOT SERVED"? edit: I can only picture this with a skinny bespectacled jewish kid saying it to a large african-american woman.
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Feb 25, 2011 00:28
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Defleshed posted:Camouflaging myself in office mediocrity is more satisfying than I ever would have thought, I've really embraced it. It worked for me until everyone more senior than me left with the exception of the lady on heavy meds, and me at my most mediocre is apparently hard-working around here. I got mildly chided for rolling in at 10AM on Wed., then immediately was offered to get sent to Cali for a conference for free, which will probably bump me up into the elite program for airmiles again this year. I think I may be next in line for the director position, despite my non-efforts. On the downside, had two huntsmen spiders in my bedroom yesterday after not seeing any indoors for a couple of years.
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Feb 25, 2011 02:42
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Save me jeebus posted:I am now the owner of jewelry made by a real convicted murderer. I feel so special. If you ever go to Palau, you can go to the local jail and get a murderer to make you a cool wooden storyboard carving. They'll come unescorted right into the shop so you can explain all the details and everything.
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Mar 2, 2011 05:02
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And sometimes it just depends on the curve. I've seen people get scores that were 40 points apart without knowing too much more the second time.
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Mar 4, 2011 05:52
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entris posted:Also, thread: why are we telling people not to go to law school if they can get a free ride at a T1 (not T14)? I know we're talking about 3 years of opportunity costs, and once they get out everyone will think they want to be a lawyer so their job opportunities will be somewhat restricted by their JD, but if they didn't pay for law school, is it really that bad? It kind of fucks with your head a bit when you go to a T1, do decently, and not only can't find a law job when you graduate, but can't get any job because any potential employer is convinced you'll jump ship the second you get an offer in the legal field. Then you panic more because if you don't do legal poo poo right away, your resume looks worse and worse to prospective legal employers, who wonder why you were toxic in the first place. Or you can gamble and hang your own shingle, but with this economy, you're better off playing online poker. The only thing the crushing debt does is add to the panic.
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Mar 4, 2011 23:37
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