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I enjoyed the last thread, hilarious. I used to work dial-up internet tech support grave yard shift 1998-2001 at a company that focused on areas where they were the only game in town  So bear in mind with what I share customers were paying 25% more then what they would for AOL at the time and we knew they had no other option for Internet access.  Worse our company was less then competent, for example we managed to NOT renew our domain... it ended up being purchased by a spammer who used the 3 days they held it to harvest all of our active email accounts. As a result our spam went up 1000x once we regained control after 2 weeks! Another point of management genius, when I started there at my 6 month review my most negative comment was that, I was working to fast. My daily call average was 60-80 calls a day with nearly zero call backs and no customer complaints. My boss explained despite rocking his own metrics, I really couldn't be doing a good job if my average was over 24 calls a day... Up until then I had thought the senior techs were being lazy since I seemed to handle so many more call then them... So after that review I made a point to never take more than 32 calls a day. My next review I got almost all 5's and was complimented on being fast and a team player  On top of that we had some real gems working for us in tech support, 'Ma'm I'm not calling you an idiot... but I really think you need to go buy the book, 'Internet for dummy's'. Yes this guy said this ALL the time to customers, so we really weren't all that surprised one day when a customer came to our office and attacked the front door with a golf club screaming for that tech to come out and face him man to man (we also sold internet access in the town we were located in).  Then there were our sales people... I once had a salesmen try to get me fired via my boss for cancelling a new account her had just signed up... because the sales men managed to sell internet access to a guy with a typewriter! Sure that is some world class salesmanship but how the hell am I supposed to get him online? But when you consider our customers... maybe some of them deserved it. Pretty much every call started with, 'NO WORKIE! WORKIE! Why is your loving service always down!'  I learned a great tactic for not taking this kind of abuse personally, I took my headset off and would place it on my desk muted and would wait until the screaming stopped... 'I appreciate your frustration, and I'll be happy to help you with X'. With dialup tech support it usually only took 2 sentences for me to know what the problem was and how to fix it. So usually I was playing a rom while repeating the same instructions I'd already given out 10 more times that evening... The worst calls were the lonely guys who called after 1am, and just wanted to talk... Followed by the cheap bastards calling in to complain that their ping times were poo poo in their Quake game because of our lovely service, while simultaneously bragging about their MCSE, and that they got such a great deal on their Rockwell HCF winmodem. These calls were torture, a Rockwell HCF modem call took about an hour because inevitably you ended up having to reinstall Dial up networking, and TCP/IP just to prove to the caller that it was their crappy e-machine with their lovely modem that was the problem not our service.  Although, I did love it when customers demanded credit for their own self-inflicted problems; Management policy was to credit them 25 cents an hour they were effected and were scripted to tell the customer 'You have been credited for the loss of service'.  life lesson, always ask how much you are being credited. Another way we got back at ahole customer was to sign up their email for the most depraved porn mailing lists/ or for religious visits. The funniest call I ever got, came in at 5am, woman called to tell us she was always getting disconnected from our service. I checked our logs and saw that she was being disconnected every 6 hours like clockwork (our max connection time), so I explained that was our policy. She responded that sucked because we were interrupting her P2P downloads. I apologized and replied with my standard closing, 'Okay then, have a good day, I'll watch your connection after you hang up and I'll give you a call back if I see you get disconnected before 6 hours... ' She replies, 'OH MY GOD YOU CAN SEE MY HAIR!" *click* 
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Jun 4, 2010 22:05
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| # ¿ May 7, 2024 22:50 |
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