Call centre rant thread: I want to speak to your supervisor

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Call centre rant thread: I want to speak to your supervisor

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

When I worked at [large UK telecoms company] I tried to transfer a caller to the survey, but there was a screw-up and I ended up in the survey myself with the caller being hung up on. Not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I awarded myself top marks. I made bonus that month by one survey.

A few weeks later, they discovered people had been doing this, and chose a random week to check up on for disciplinary action. I escaped getting the sack by one day, if they'd started the reporting period a day early, I'd have been gone.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2011 00:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 8, 2024 14:04

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

ratbert90 posted:

I have had a person scream at me to take the interest on her bill off because her religion didn't allow interest charges.

This is perfectly common, strict islamic banking does not allow receiving or paying of interest.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2011 10:29

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Invis posted:

Edit: I don't mind if you hang up on me. But be polite and at least listen to what I'm offering before you say 'not interested'. How can you be not interested if you don't know what we're offering? If you hang up before I get a chance to pitch, you WILL be called again because it's how our systems work.

What you're basically saying here is "I've interrupted whatever it is you may have been doing, and will continue to do so repeatedly until you let me finish my interruption"

Your employer is, in effect, a four year old child.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2011 09:27

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

"I HAVE A RIGHT TO MY INFORMATION! IT'S DATA PROTECTION!"
"Yes. You do not, however, have the right to specify the means by which you receive that information. I'll put it in writing"

# ¿ Jul 15, 2011 11:15

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Internet Cliche posted:

What's the reply rate of a 25 minute survey?

It's much higher if you don't tell them in advance it's that long. I got phoned once not long after I graduated to do a survey about how much the Uni had supported me etc etc. Thought it would just be a quickie, but took nearly half an hour.

It was worth staying on though, just to hear the guy from the survey company read all the typos on his script verbatim. "In your time at University of Strathlcyde..."

# ¿ Aug 28, 2011 12:18

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Fil5000 posted:

Strathlcyde: to be killed by ventuing north of Berwick upon Tweed.

That would have been even funnier, sadly he pronounced it with a hard c.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2011 00:15

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Really, call-centre work is a lot like whack-a-mole.

1) Staff use $method0 to avoid work.
2) Management get pissed off and crack down on it, making a particular stat the focus for that month.
3) Staff follow the new rule to the letter, but realise that with the focus on one stat, the others are unguarded, and start using $method1 to avoid work.
4) Repeat cycle for a few months, at which point $method0 is no longer being monitored. You can see where this is going.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2011 22:20

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Fil5000 posted:

So we switched cynicism mode on and listened to other calls from the same agent. Sure enough, at exactly the end of their shift every day, calls got terminated. Into an office, fact finding chat, disciplinary, etc etc etc. Had they done it once or twice then they probably could have gotten away with it scot free, but yeah, got greedy.

I did this back when I worked for BT. I asked what happened if we got stuck on a call at the end of our shift. "Finish the call", said the bosses. I asked how we reported the extra time worked, and if it was paid at overtime rates. They said we wouldn't be paid for it.

Realising they had a fundamental lack of understanding about how the labour market works, I started ending calls right on the end of my shift (though I did tell the caller that's what I was doing). Got pulled up for it, and left before they could discipline me for it. Now working a job with flexitime, so if I get stuck on a call for ages I can use the extra time to take time off further down the line.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2011 22:34

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

One of the guys I worked with at the time would constantly hang up on folks for spurious reasons, but covered himself by beginning the next call with a request for the caller's number "as my phone's been playing up and I need to be able to call you back if it disconnects" (chances of callback actually being made = zero)

He also did the "Hello? Hello? Anyone there? *turns to me* I think this guy's gone, there's no response" routine, all the while the caller's bellowing "I can hear you fine, I'm still here" from the other end.

I worked with some utter arseholes, but it'd certainly make the day go quicker seeing what poo poo they'd pull next.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2011 22:53

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

If they remove the ability to mute, can you just unplug your headset?

# ¿ Sep 20, 2011 21:55

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Drimble Wedge posted:

Anyway, sorry to poo poo all that over your nice thread.

Don't apologise. We're all call centre staff. Every one of us has experienced that and feel better to know we're not alone. You are us, we are you. (And I now want to introduce myself as Spartacus on my first call Monday morning)

# ¿ Oct 2, 2011 10:25

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

The perils of scripts in callcentres: A guy in a different department of my work was telling me once about how someone was making a change to their account, and the message popped up on screen "Is this a risky change?". Y'know, for the staff to pause, think if anything's suspicious, and act accordingly.

You all know before reaching this line what happened, but here it is anyway: he read it out to the caller.

# ¿ May 2, 2012 09:16

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

taremva posted:

(~$51/hour)

Are those US dollars?

# ¿ Aug 19, 2012 10:59

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Kitchner posted:

My call centre had something similar, they were called "PIPs" or Personal Improvement Programs.

Ah, BT and their PIPs. We found an easy way to avoid it - when the monthly stats come out, pick one and dispute it furiously. Claim there's a sale you made that's not on there and refuse to sign because the data is incorrect.

(One guy on the team actually did have this happen - he made a sale, someone else went in, cancelled it and re-made the sale themselves. He argued and constantly refused to sign, and they took no further action. Everyone else took this as precedent and stayed off PIPs. Then I quit, so I've no idea how it works now)

# ¿ Nov 23, 2012 08:56

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

I normally take about 40-50 calls in an 8 hour shift. Yesterday, I took 9. And 4 of those were instant transfers to someone else.

# ¿ Dec 25, 2012 11:08

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

taremva posted:

Are they expected to be stone cold and emotionless? No

If I got to be stone cold in work, that'd rule. Drinking beer and hitting folk with chairs? What's not to like?

# ¿ Jan 16, 2013 09:02

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Yesterday marked my last day working in a call centre, I finally escaped by getting a promotion to another area of the organisation. I can count on my fingers the times I've been happier than this. For those who have't yet escaped, you have my sympathies. I'll forever know your pain, and I pledge never to be 'that guy' when calling up.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2013 18:24

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Ulysiss posted:

- You must say the callers name 3 times during your conversation

I used to have to do this, and got round it by overdoing it in the security checks.

--And can I have your full name please?
--Thanks for that, Mr Smith. Could you confirm your address please, Mr Smith?
--Excellent. And your date of birth, Mr Smith?

Name 3 times in 20 seconds, rest of the call is your own to do with as you please.

# ¿ Jun 24, 2013 09:02

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Robin Sparkles posted:

Today I had my first angry customer at my new job, I had to ask her to repeat some information a few times as she was asking for an intersection and I wasn't quite remembering one of the street names. After she said some rude things to me I hung up the phone to end the call as she had stated she didn't need my help anymore.
After I was onto my screen to take another call, I mumbled "and f*ck you", really quietly and I didn't even enunciate the word "gently caress" however I am now scared that it might have been recorded in that call. How long in your experience does the call keep recording after the disconnect?

You'll probably be fine, I told multiple callers to die in a fire as the call ended in similar circumstances to yourself and never got pulled up.

# ¿ Aug 8, 2014 08:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 8, 2024 14:04

hyper from Pixie Sticks: Sep 28, 2004

Rarity posted:

Today I made an old lady cry and then a guy told me I'd interrupted him masturbating

And what happened on your second call?

# ¿ Dec 18, 2014 23:06

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Call centre rant thread: I want to speak to your supervisor