Him posted:

An old woman switched gynecologists and was extremely embarrassed when the doctor took one look between her legs and said, "That's the biggest pussy I've ever seen - That's the biggest pussy I've ever seen."

She started crying and said to him, "You didn't have to say it twice."

"I didn't." replied the doc.

Him posted:

An elderly man is having his check-up and the doctor tells him he is in perfect shape for a man his age. The doc asks him how he does it.

"Well," says the old man, "I eat right, get exercise, and God is watching out for me."

"Oh really?" asks the doctor, "How so?"

"For example," replies the elderly man, "when I get up to pee at night, God turns on the bathroom light for me!"

The old man gets dressed after the exam and goes out to the waiting room to his wife. The doctor shakes her hand and says her husband is in great shape, and that he's amazed to hear that God's been turning on the bathroom light at night for him.

"Well!" she says, "I am glad to hear he is doing so well. And now we've solved the mystery of all that pee in the fridge."

Him posted:

A group of Indians came to their chief and asked "Will it be a bad winter?" The chief, who was young, had not paid attention to the elders and did not know how to read the signs. He told them to go start cutting firewood and he would answer them when they returned. The young chief then snuck off and consulted the National Weather Service. He asked them, "Will it be a bad winter?"

"Probably," was the answer.

When the men returned, the chief told them it would be a bad winter and to go cut more firewood. Just to be sure, the chief called the Weather Service again and asked, "Are you sure it's going to be a bad winter?"

"It's beginning to look like it," was the answer.

So the chief called the Indians and told them to go back out and cut more wood. Once more he called the Weather Service and asked, "Are you really sure it's going to be a bad winter?"

"Yes, we're convinced that it's going to be a very bad winter," they said.

"How do you know?" asked the chief.

"Because the Indians are cutting wood like crazy!"

Him posted:

I saw a homeless man sleeping inside a big cardboard box outside the train station this morning.

Not wanting to disturb him, I crept over and put a Starbucks coffee cup on top of his box.

He immediately woke up and said, "Thank you."

"No problem." I smiled.

He looked at me again and said, "It's empty."

I said, "Oh, I know, it's a chimney."

Hogge Wild posted:

knock knock

Hogge Wild posted:

knock knock

Snapchat A Titty posted:

:that door smiley where he opens it and closes it again:

AlphaKretin posted:

Tetracube posted:

come in

Hogge Wild posted:

thanks

brrr, it was getting cold

Hogge Wild posted:

thanks

brrr, it was getting cold

ToxicSlurpee posted:

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Gann Jerrod posted:

Why do archaeologists drink so much? Because their lives are in ruins.

How do you piss off an archaeologist? Give them a used tampon and ask what period it's from

I had another archaeology joke, but it didn't make sense out of context.

Zemyla posted:

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand hexadecimal, and F the rest.

1redflag posted:

16?

?

Phthisis posted:

the joke is that 1+F=10 in hexadecimal and so you see of those 10 types of people, while only one understands hexadecimal, the other F, colloquially referred to as "the rest

Twerkteam Pizza posted:

So hexadecimal moves over an integer at (17 = g), not (16 = f)?

Twerkteam Pizza posted:

So hexadecimal moves over an integer at (17 = g), not (16 = f)?