|
My favorite to tell for the last few years. Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal. Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!" The wrestler nodded in agreement. Now, to the match The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending. Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match. The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!" The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. "I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could. "You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"
|
# ¿ Jun 24, 2010 07:28 |
|
|
# ¿ May 18, 2024 02:27 |
|
Strunk posted:I'm too lazy to write out my exact rendition, but this is a ctrl-c of one of my favorites: This joke made me laugh for hours as a kid. This is how I learned it and told it for years: The butcher asks if she'd like to try some drat ham. The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Ham" is the brand name of the meat and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo. That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?" His wife says she bought some drat ham from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Ham brand name and their logo. At the dinner table, the preacher asks his son to pass him the "Dam Ham." The son replies, "That's the spirit Daddy. Pass the motherfucking potatoes."
|
# ¿ Jul 7, 2010 03:28 |