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Deer hunters are loving morons. I realize this is a sweeping generalization but I do not care anymore. At this point in my life I have dealt with an uncountable number of hunters, a number somewhere in the thousands. I don't care if there are non-moron deer hunters in the world. At this point it has become like saying "a cobra bite will loving kill you", true, not every person bitten by a cobra dies, but enough do that it's okay to say "a cobra bite will loving kill you."
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Oct 6, 2010 03:11
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side_burned posted:So I'm working graveyard at a gas station and recently I've found my self wonder just what goes through the mind of a person who absolutely must buy a $20 worth of lottery scratchers at 3:00am. I never had that happen, oddly enough. Can you even run winning scratch-offs through that late? Every job I've ever had that dealt with lottery, the lotto machine automatically shut off at 11:00 PM.
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Oct 12, 2010 20:01
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side_burned posted:gently caress all people who play any form of lottery. Seriously. Especially the fuckers who come in and spend 40 bucks on the same numbers EVRY DAY and then if you accidentally gently caress up one of the numbers they act like you're the idiot. I know a way you're guaranteed to have 200 bucks more every week, wanna know how? STOP PLAYING THE loving LOTTERY.
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Oct 14, 2010 19:07
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Regarding "The Back". Sometimes, in large chain/department stores, there is backstock. However, for gas stations and convenience stores, there is no "back". The back of a convenience store is a mop sink and an ancient computer with the manager's password (usually just "password" or "mgrpass") written in Sharpie on the keyboard. So if they're out of Virginia Slims or King Size Snickers, they're out. I'm a year and a half into being unemployed and still bitching about retail. Screw this land.
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Oct 18, 2010 18:33
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Meow Cadet posted:And when I met him, I called him Mr. Fancy Pants. I have no idea why I did that. God, please tell me you did it like this.
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Oct 31, 2010 19:08
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My deepest sympathies to all of you. I'm "lucky" to not have a real job right now, I guess. Though I am working at my old man's butcher shop and deer season starts Monday, so I'm in for three weeks of hell. Although not as bad as Black Friday crap.
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Nov 26, 2010 19:41
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I saw the annual "black Friday shoppers cramming themselves through a Target entrance" footage on the news and it struck me as looking almost exactly like what happens when you toss an ear of corn into a hog pen.
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Nov 27, 2010 18:05
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Ulysses S. Grant posted:My district manager visited today and demanded that I sell a post-paid cell phone during the hour and a half he was there or I would be written up. I sold an 84 year old woman a 2 year contract at $40 a month when she'll probably barely use it. I would have broken that man's jaw on the spot.
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Dec 5, 2010 21:23
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I hope she returns it.
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Duckman2008 posted:I know its easier said than done, but there must be a better retail job to knab than that. Even bagging groceries is easier and pays better than that. And has a union fer chrissakes!
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Dec 28, 2010 19:23
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Magikarpal Tunnel posted:I loving hate wearing name tags, I don't want strangers I don't know using my name. gently caress that. Has anyone else ever experienced the really strange phenomenon of a customer looking at your name tag and going "Thanks, *smirk* [yourname]"? What the gently caress is this? It's like they get some feeling of superiority by knowing your first name. And it's really irritating. I once got it from somebody who paid with a card, so I said "Your welcome, [person's first name, middle initial, last name]. Then stared at them as they walked out. But that was when I used to drink at work.
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Jan 1, 2011 21:52
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Flavor Bear posted:Your welcome I can't believe I did this. Jumping on the hatred of "young man" as well. Being shouted to as "Young man! Young man!" from across the store is a good way to guarantee the shittiest service I will ever give anyone. I was once "young man"-ed by a horrid bitch on my second day at a gas station whose inventory I wasn't completely familiar with yet, because I spent the first day in the office, doing all the dumb training paperwork and poo poo. I was in the middle of doing the cigarette count when some woman asked me if we carried brake fluid and I directed her to the endcap where the automotive crap was, saying "I'm not really sure if we even carry it, but if we have it it'll be there." 30 seconds later she came back with the "young man" bullshit bitching me out because she couldn't find it. Then she asked me how long I had been working there and I told her two days and she said I "should be more familiar with [our] stock!" Then I of course walked her over and found it immediately, because like all gas station everywhere, the brake fluid was right next to the motor oil. Oh yeah, she was on her phone the whole time, too. Flavor Bear fucked around with this message at 23:23 on Jan 2, 2011 |
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Jan 2, 2011 23:15
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Fury1671 posted:using fowl language "Go duck yourself, buddy! While you're at it suck my chick!"
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Jan 23, 2011 20:16
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SpartanIV posted:I bet Butters got grounded for that one.
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Feb 6, 2011 05:53
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Nosaj posted:Also..had a customer come in a few hours ago and buy some poo poo that totalled 22.65, I saiid to him "Your total is twenty two sixty five" to which he replied "HERP HERP THAT WAS A GOOD YEAR". You stupid gently caress those jokes arent funny even when they make sense do people even think before they speak? I have only ever had customers who seriously appear to be mentally challenged make this joke.
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Feb 14, 2011 22:38
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Avalanche posted:It also has to do with the dress code of many retail places... I agree with this completely. In one gas station job I had, it took them a long rear end time to order me a shirt and hat (I actually quit before I ever got them), so I would just come to work in a Dickies work shirt, slacks and Oxford-style work shoes. People were frequently mistaking me for the manager, and at least twice I would have some horrid old person be really rude to my coworkers, who had been there ages longer than me, and be all respectful to me and call me "sir". (Once I did say I was the manager to get rid of some woman who was accusing a coworker of being a racist.)
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Mar 18, 2011 07:04
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baquerd posted:Breast milk is "in" now.
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Mar 29, 2011 21:41
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Make a little game for yourself. Say, "no thank you," a different way each time. "No thank you." "No thank you." "No thank you."
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Apr 3, 2011 01:21
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ijii posted:Had a person come up to me with a wadded up paper towel wanting to know where the trash cans are. They were no where near our department, so I went ahead said "They're at the entrance, so I'll go get our [department] trash can, be right back." He says "Here," and tries to hand it off to me. I said in return, "Uhh, I'll go get the trash can." He acted a little shocked when I said it. I once had an old dude walk around the store sucking the chocolate off a Snickers bar then wanted me to throw away the soggy peanuts, nougat and caramel left. He also wanted me to have some of it  Thank god I had a little trash can behind the register that I just held up for him to toss it himself. Then he left me 5 dollars as he quickly exited the store in tears (long story).
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Apr 3, 2011 17:07
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TShields posted:Someone up there is looking out for me.. A big line of storms rolled through NC this morning, and the store power died right as me and the cashier walked in the building. It was off from 6:45 until 9:05. But with our systems being down, the store wasn't functional until after 10. Good times! And I get off at 1:00 today, horay! Sounds like a good day. Not like the time the power was knocked out in a gas station I was working in for two days. And everyone still had to come in. And I had overnight shifts. First night was fun because FREE ICE CREAM!!!, but by the second day the ice cream had melted and was thrown away.
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Apr 5, 2011 18:34
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miscellaneous14 posted:A shift so bad You need to punch everyone.
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Apr 18, 2011 18:40
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miscellaneous14 posted:In other words, secret shoppers are completely worthless as a mechanism for determining quality in customer service. Not for me. I always got 5 stars every single time  But really it was because I could spot them. In the smut shop the secret shoppers were always retired cops. Easy to spot because they all had 70s mustaches and high-and-tight haircuts.
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Jun 18, 2011 17:14
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Ghostnuke posted:gently caress bells so hard. The number of people who think its funny to mash it when you're standing right there is staggering. I hate every single one of you. When they do that you stare at them, right in the eyes without blinking, straight faced, and take the bell off the counter without breaking eye contact. It doesn't serve to convey any real message, just works as a good weird reaction.
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Jun 23, 2011 03:31
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That is why I have never once put in notice. Hired at a new job? Tell 'em I can start the next day and quit the current job that day. Dicks coworkers over, yeah, but most of the jobs I quit were at places where the work was bearable but the coworkers were poo poo.
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Aug 26, 2011 20:46
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rolleyes posted:I'd love to know what it was. "Fellates didgeridoos". "Has an extra leg.  "
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Sep 13, 2011 18:29
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WeezerToon posted:******** You loving can goddamn swear oval office here poo poo.
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Sep 25, 2011 17:20
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My dad owns a store and is pretty awesome about lovely customers. I was in the back one day and I heard shouting, so I rushed out front to find the old man threatening a customer with a cast iron skillet while telling him to get out. I asked him about it and all he said was "He was a fuckin' dumbass." Another guy left a rude message on the machine when the store was closed one time. The next time he came in he hadn't even parked his truck before my dad was out in the parking lot telling him to get the hell out. Everyone who isn't a limpdick redneck loves him, though, so it's not like he's a raging rear end in a top hat or anything.
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Sep 26, 2011 04:18
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Cast_No_Shadow posted:I honestly can't wrap my head around the whole employment situation you guys survive in. You're meant to be living in the leader of the free world. I just don't comprehend it. Just because we've been saying that since WWII doesn't make it true.
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Oct 29, 2011 20:59
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Avalanche posted:Some fat, gila monster of a women tried to fill a fraudulent prescription a few days ago at the in-store pharmacy. She stole a doc's prescription pad, and wrote herself a script for some painkillers. The pharmacist catches it, calls the doctor, and asks him what to do. Normally, we would just not fill it, and tell the person to get the gently caress out. The doctor informs us to have her arrested immediately (nooooooo!). You must follow doc orders in these situations, so we had to call PD. Bring a gun to work 
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Nov 1, 2011 21:09
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So I'm going to be selling Christmas trees starting on Black Friday. Anyone ever do this before? What should I expect (In terms of customer behavior)? I always tip those guys generously so I should expect a lot of tips, right? v  v
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Nov 14, 2011 03:47
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2508084 posted:I would expect some psychotic, uninformed frothing about the new christmas tree tax Already covered. I'm going to tell people we knocked the 15 cents off the price of each tree. Now if their ranting goes beyond the price and is about "Tha princubbul!  " I just don't know.
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Nov 14, 2011 04:37
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OmNom posted:Any tips? (aside from general interview technique) Don't seem grossed out or otherwise creeped at anything in the store. Make them think you have nerves of steel. Not just when it comes to weird sex poo poo but also when it comes to rowdy customers. Just give them the impression that nothing gets to you. Tips assuming you get the job: If the store also has a "video arcade" be prepared to clean up semen. And piss. And vomit. And poo poo. People are loving pigs back there. Sometimes you get dudes looking for hookups back there. Sometimes these dudes get attacked by over-sensitive homophobe types. Be prepared to deal with the cops. For some more pleasant tips, know your product. Memorize the pornstars, the porno directors and the productions companies. A lot of folks buy their smut based on some or all of these criteria. Check out what different lubes are water or petroleum based and what sex act/toys they are best for. Take note of what vibrators have the motor in the tip (probably the most important feature of a vibrator), know what strap-ons go with what rings and what harnesses. Know how to install the sex swings and other erotic fixtures.
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Nov 15, 2011 20:24
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I am not being hyperbolic at all when I say that Black Friday shopping is the single worst thing human beings do. Edit: I mean in physical stores. Online is cool.
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Nov 25, 2011 19:56
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If nobody else got sprayed with deer piss today, you have had a better day in retail than I. Yay deer season 
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Nov 29, 2011 02:58
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Dodgeball posted:Going to assume he works in customer service, and refused to accept a return of a salt lick from a buck. It was a pair of antlers, actually. I knew they had been worn because all the velvet was falling off. I work in a butcher shop which processes deer. I was making a guy finish gutting his deer properly before checking it in, and he squeezed the bladder, spraying piss all over me.
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Nov 30, 2011 04:06
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Shnooks posted:Please, I don't speak Chinese, please stop talking to me in Chinese 我的語言
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Dec 9, 2011 05:17
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Volcano posted:Ah, wordvomit. I went out on my lunch break to buy a sandwich once and automatically greeted the man behind the counter with "Hi, can I help?" I almost always accidentally call everyone Mom.
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Jan 12, 2012 00:04
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Rick_Hunter posted:Here's a protip, customers: When you're about to tell me some dumb coffee joke, just...don't. I've heard them all. Unless you definitely want decaf, then I can oblige. What about this one; I like my women like my coffee, black and picked up at a Target food court.
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Jan 20, 2012 03:05
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kazmeyer posted:I worked for a bank in Birmingham for a few months back in 2000, and I remember one morning coming into the meeting room and seeing a note on the overhead projector that read, and I quote, "BURNT SLAP UP -- DON'T BELIEVE ME? MASH BUTTON AND SEE." Reasons I No Longer Desire to Work in Retail: DON'T BELIEVE ME? MASH BUTTON AND SEE!
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Jan 21, 2012 19:18
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Darth Freddy posted:
Oh no, the guy who makes costumes lost his number one!
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Feb 18, 2012 18:34
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Whose number one?!
The costumer!
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Cowslips Warren posted:Haha, this reminds me of my friend who, last I heard, is still working for free seven days a week. Oh, sorry, working for some video games here and there and otherwise for free. She so badly wants to see her friend's store succeed, you see, and the rest of us are jealous assholes for not understanding. A thought occurs to me. Is the owner of the game store seriously struggling? Because I remember a few years ago when my dad had surgery and was laid up for more than a few months and I was running his store solo, with my mom taking an outside job to make up for lost revenue, about half a dozen regular customers offered to come work for us for free. Fortunately it never came to that, but they were all very sincere and didn't want to see us close up shop. Maybe Ethan Mananus is having a rough go of it so your friend really is doing her best to keep the place open?
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Feb 26, 2012 01:45
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