Retail Thread: I'M A BALLET DANCER! I HOPE YOU ALL SHIT YOURSELVES TO DEATH!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Retail Thread: I'M A BALLET DANCER! I HOPE YOU ALL SHIT YOURSELVES TO DEATH!

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

Control Volume posted:

"Walmart is staffed with idiots"

You think you've got it bad? I spent four months (Spanning the entire leadup to Christmas) pushing carts in the parking lot at the Walmart here. Black Friday rolls around, and guess who pulls the 5am to 3pm shift?

So I'm out there at 5am in an Ohio November, in the rain, pushing what carts I can pry from the jaws of the animal known as consumerism, back to the store so more inbred hicks can stand in line for an hour waiting to check out. To do this, I have to push them in through an overhead door and into the entrance areas on either end of the building. After about an hour of this, I start leaving said overhead door open, to save myself some time and effort.

I've got one side about halfway done, when I notice that the door is down. I've got 35 carts in a row, and Sir Isaac Newton says there's no chance in hell they're going to stop in time for me to open this door back up. I'm at the point where I've got the carts moving fast enough that they fly right into the entranceway and all the way up to where they belong. I'm doing this because I anticipate the door being open.

So I somehow get these carts stopped, open the door, get them inside, and go to have a talk with our greeter on this end, a 65 year old woman. Let's call her "Helen".

:geno:

Helen, I left the overhead open because it's too crazy out here for me to be able to stop and open it every time I've got carts to put away. I'd appreciate it if you didn't close it.

:downs:

Well, Cheezy, It's cold, and I'm sick.

:eng101:

It's six in the morning at the end of November in Ohio. Of course it's cold.

:downs:

Well I forgot my jacket at home.

:raise:

And if you're sick, why aren't you at home?

:ohdear:

I can't call off, it's the day after Thanksgiving! They need me here!

:suicide:

# ¿ Jul 3, 2010 06:40

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 03:01

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

Nosaj posted:

Its nice to see this thread flourishing after its move from GBS!

For content, someone just walked into my store and asked me what kind of smokes I had for sale. I lifted the curtain that I have to conceal them and was greeted by an "AH HA!" from the person asking me.

Turns out shes with the government or some third party theyre paying to go around to businesses and make sure you dont reveal your tobacco selection rather you have to wait for the customer to ask you for a prodcut specifically.

This combined with the new legislation requiring all my cigarettes to be concealed and hidden, not to mention the new law banning blunt wraps and flavored cigarillos is just such a waste of time.

Where do you live? I don't smoke, but that's the stupidest poo poo I've ever heard, and I want to avoid areas that are full of people dumber than rocks.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2010 18:54

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

Ulysses S. Grant posted:

Customer: I want to buy an Xbox 360.
Me: I am sorry, sir, we're out of stock of that right now. If you'd like, I--
Customer: No, you're not! I see one right there! *points at empty display box*
Me: That's just a display. We don't have any Xboxes in stock at this--
Customer: I demand you sell me that one right there.

1. Open box.
2. Show empty box to customer.
3. Offer it to him for full price.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2010 18:28

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

Not quite "retail" per se, but something I was just guilty of, so i thought I'd remind folks.

When you order a pizza, be there when it's delivered. The guy had to call my cell to get me to come up from the basement and answer the door. I was all "Sorry man, totally forgot" and he just gave me a stern look.

# ¿ Jul 20, 2010 21:03

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

Pingiivi posted:

You're too experienced.

If there's one word in the english language that's more bullshit than any other, it's "Over-qualified"

# ¿ Jul 27, 2010 21:00

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

Boondock Saint posted:

Yes, because clearly I was indicating that it's impossible to drive a car without a license.

Sounds to me like that's exactly what you implied.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2010 01:42

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

Lamech posted:

He's not SPECIFICALLY SAYING ONE CANNOT DRIVE WITHOUT A LICENSE you bozos!

He's complaining about an aspect of retail in this thread about people who work retail that it's a pretty loving dumb excuse and he gets exactly what is really going on when people say "oops I don't have my license on me durrr" when questioned about if a person has their license on them and then they go drive away in their car.

Jesus Christ how do you people function in normal real world conversation??

Not having your license on you and not having a license are totally different things.

At least here, if you're pulled over and you don't have it on hand, you don't get arrested for driving without a license. In fact, you get a whole day to produce one.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2010 02:54

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

froglet posted:

I got a lot of this at my work. Thankfully I no longer work in retail. Though I find it amusing that there seems to be an inversely proportional correlation between how much courtesy a person thinks they 'deserve' and the proportion of courtesy they receive.

[massive pet peeve]

Your work is what you do while you're at your job. Stop confusing the two.

[/massive pet peeve]

# ¿ Aug 6, 2010 08:59

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

Ulysses S. Grant posted:

I was a worker drone for CVS Pharmacy for a year and this was essentially every day for me.

I got used to people putting the weirdest combinations of poo poo after awhile - the only funny customers became the ironic combinations. My favorite was a mid-20s guy who bought a box of condoms, a 12 pack of beer, a pregnancy test, and a paternity test.

They sell paternity tests at your CVS?

Are you next door to the set of Maury Povich?

# ¿ Aug 17, 2010 15:57

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

One of the charities in town bought $4,500 worth of toys when I was working at Walmart this past December. The receipt on that was close to six feet long.

EDIT: And guess who had to help them load it all into their vans?

# ¿ Aug 25, 2010 10:04

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 03:01

Cheezymadman: Mar 29, 2010; by Fistgrrl

newtestleper posted:

Isn't this a good story?

I was sharing an anecdote related to the current line of discussion: long receipts.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2010 21:21

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Retail Thread: I'M A BALLET DANCER! I HOPE YOU ALL SHIT YOURSELVES TO DEATH!