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I finally made it. Quit my terrible copy-center job yesterday, start with a small IT firm on Monday. Took nine months and probably six hundred resumes, but totally worth it. Retail customers are bad enough, the co-workers make it worse, and corporate management made life there simply soul-crushing. Still, a couple of my favorite stories for you: I had a customer who wanted to return a computer because it was "running slow", but didn't have the box. As it was opened, we took it over to the tech center to have the thing checked out while getting a manager involved, though I didn't recognize the model. After checking out the receipt, though, it turned out that it was out of the return policy by a little over three years. Whoops. I think I figured out that "running slow" problem for you. I was helping an elderly woman copy a newspaper article about a group of "hero doctors." Not really knowing what to say to that, I commented on one of the pictures, which had an old man wearing some sort of bizarre Greek fisherman-meets-London cabbie hat, and said to her, "That guy has an awesome hat." She replied, "That's my dead husband, would you like his hat?" After the initial shock, I backpedaled as quickly as possible, and demurred politely. Still, that didn't keep her from showing up two weeks later with the hat, which you can't really say no to at that point. To this day, I still have the dead guy hat. Worst job I've ever held: CompUSA, standing at the front door, trying to sell people high-speed internet. Worst thing I've had to do in retail: While cleaning the bathrooms is way up there, calling the FBI to come pick up a computer is worse. The call itself is pretty fun, but if you have to make that call, it means you've just seen some seriously hosed-up poo poo. Worst group to mess up a copy job for: Parents of Murdered Children. Wasn't even my fault, but dear lord do you feel like an rear end for disappointing them. Most soul-crushing experience: Probably the time the store manager wrote me up for something the cashier he was screwing did. Felt amazing when I got him fired two months later. Godspeed, all of you. Best of luck in finding something you don't hate.
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Oct 8, 2010 03:27
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A Child's Letter posted:Wanna hear the details of this scenario...not necessarily what they were doing in the stock room or wherever, but how you handed him his comeuppance. spankmeister posted:Pleeeeeaaasee tell us how you managed that. Nothing too exciting, really. Being bitter and jaded, I got in a bad habit of keeping a blackmail file. Every time I came across something that violated our HR policies like Gerald Amirault at a day-care center, I'd throw a quick copy of it in the file. I had a manager friend of mine get in on the action, and after about a month and a half, I finally felt we had enough on the guy to get rid of him. That's not really something you want to risk - if you don't have enough, you've tipped your hand and made an enemy in the process. I ended up handing corporate HR proof of the affair (since he was her boss, that alone would probably have been enough), proof that he had written me up for her error, and documentation on some transactions he had performed that were more suspect than a reunion tour for The Ramones. As a lovely bonus, when HR showed up to ask him some hard questions, he wasn't to be found - he had taken the day off without bothering to tell his boss about it. He rushed in about fifteen minutes later, having come over as soon as he got the call, and left again after another fifteen minutes without his keys or job. That file probably had enough to get everyone in that store fired, but there was one main difference: the rest of them didn't piss me off.
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Oct 12, 2010 04:46
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TShields posted:Here's my resume, if anyone wants to take a crack at it.. The format was Goon designed, Goon approved, over in the Resume thread.. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ptQO_jXQnVir0EuACoN7bN8EqwKGQIZy-I-01s4mIRU/edit?hl=en&authkey=CNLj3_kJ I just got the job of my dreams using a resume with similar experience and better formatting. I'll take a crack at this tonight, and have something for you tomorrow. [Edit]Yeah, I think I can make this significantly more likely to get noticed.[/edit] Regex fucked around with this message at 00:42 on Mar 4, 2011 |
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Mar 4, 2011 00:29
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TShields, I took a quick look at it. I was thinking that you might want something a little more eye-catching, due to the lack of bites, so I did something a little more interesting. Let me know what you think. PDF version: http://www.mediafire.com/?tksae7s2iko2uv2 If you like it, I'll make you a .doc version tomorrow for anyone who asks you for one. Happy to help with changes too - regex.akama at the gmail.
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Mar 4, 2011 03:46
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TShields posted:Edit: Just noticed the "eight years experience".. I did work 5 years at Eckerd Drug through high school and my first couple years of college before I moved away to go to my university, but my resume starts at 2008. That's overselling me a bit, don't you think? What do you mean? You have eight years of combined experience in customer service and management. Sure, the management piece is smaller, but no one reading this will care. The goal of a resume is to start a conversation where you can sell yourself like a hooker late on her rent. As long as there aren't any complete fabrications, everything else is fair game. Cast_No_Shadow posted:Looks wise the only quibble I have is the skills part, to me it looks a bit wonky, some part of the text could do with being aligned maybe? Yeah, I was getting a little drunk towards the end there.  I'll fix it in the .doc version.My view on the "References available" thing: it's a way of saying "I have awesome references, please ask me for them." Up to you whether you want that in, but it's an easy way to show that you've got people lining up to talk about you. Some parts, like "hungry for knowledge" are a little overblown, certainly - but they're a good way of turning lack of experience in the field you're applying to into a positive. Anyone who wants, feel free to steal/change/copy whatever the hell. I'm available at the same e-mail for anyone who wants a second look.
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Mar 4, 2011 17:06
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TShields posted:You obviously know what you're doing- far more than me- so I'm going to take whatever you produce, gleefully pass it off as my own, and buy you an upgrade if and when I ever land a new job. https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&...uthkey=CJX00-AM Attached to an e-mail too. Google docs is weird - the actual version is only one page, with better spacing and margins. Do the "download original" option. Font is Myriad Pro, because I'm a sucker for it, and the blue is Pantone 3005/#0084C9 Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help. \/ Go for it. Regex fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Mar 4, 2011 |
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Mar 4, 2011 18:11
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