Harry Potter: Dickens for Children (What? I love Dickens! That's a compliment!)

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Harry Potter: Dickens for Children (What? I love Dickens! That's a compliment!)

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Cobweb Heart posted:

All right, this is everal months late, but to the guy who was complaining about the cardboard box in GoF - the Muggle Studies teacher had procured it for her class. Then she stored it in a random broom closet.

edit: If the encyclopedia thing ever does get written, I hope JK Rowling mentions a bit more about the dementors, because I don't really think they were explored enough in the books. They're mentioned as being furious about certain things, or the Ministry orders them to do various tasks. So... can they talk?

In fact, what the gently caress is a dementor, anyway? Were they once human? Are they abortive attempts at fabricating human life without a soul? Why couldn't Harry just find some dementors terrorizing Muggles, force them into slavery under threat of Patronus, and have them sniff out bits of Voldemort's soul like hunting dogs? Then they could just eat the Horcruxes. It's not Voldemort has ever practiced or even heard of a Patronus in his life.

Worse, it was said both that they were multiplying due to the terror and fear that was spreading after book six and yet one of the few established things about them is they can't be destroyed. So you've got an ever increasing number of soul sucking monsters that can barely be held off by a fraction of a fraction of the human population. That's the real threat in these books, screw Voldemort the Dementors should be causing a near apocalypse.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2011 04:21

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 18:29

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

Speaking of plot holes, it always bothered me that Ginny's eyes changed colors halfway through the books. It's not a huge issue, but it seems like J.K.'s editor should have caught that, what with how hugely famous the books became.

Er, what? I'm pretty sure her eyes are brown all the way through. What did they change from/to?

# ¿ Jun 12, 2011 21:08

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

The Machine posted:

Why was Crouch Jr. / Moody sympathetic to Neville in Goblet of Fire? Just keeping the act going?

He gave him the book with the info about Gillyweed and other herbs in it, but Harry never thinks to ask Neville for help. It was all part of his plan to get Harry to the cup first, I'd wager there were more than a few things that could have made the tasks easier.

That was actually one of the nicer parts of that book, in retrospect Crouch was leaving hints and help for Harry everywhere and Harry still nearly completely hosed it up because he never asked for help.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2011 01:27

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Got in and got Ravenclaw when I was sort of expecting Hufflepuff based on the questions they were asking me.

Got a 10 inch Fir wand with Unicorn core, Hard. I'm not entirely sure why my wand is telling me I'm inflexible, but the site is pretty neat.

# ¿ Sep 25, 2011 09:04

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Glenn posted:

Now that you mention it, I'm kinda bummed they didn't do this in the first place. Better yet, if Rowling had written an entirely new story for Pottermore set after Harry's escapades...

A track that follows Tom Riddle would be amazing, though, if only to find out how he made his Horcruxes.

We, uh, already saw how he made most of his horcruxes. Myrtle fuelled the diary, his father and grandparents the Ring, the old gatekeeper Nagini, the woman with Hufflepuff's cup made that one, Harry's parents fueled Harry, and I can't remember if we explicitly saw the murders that fueled Ravenclaw's Diadem and the Locket but we saw at least 5/7 happen on-screen in some form already.

After the murder it looks like the receptacle just has to be nearby, and it can't require anything special because he managed to make one accidently.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2011 01:11

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

arioch posted:

Still, relatively few of them seemed to be able to do it.

Basically everyone could do it in the movies because they turned Apparition into some weird smoke-flight that had everyone turn into color-coded smoke monsters that smashed into each other as they flew for the last four movies.

I'm not sure what you call the battle at the Department of Mysteries for example but a bunch of people flying into each other in smoke form.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2011 06:24

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

innocent_deadly posted:

Snape's main issue, in my mind at least, was always that he wanted to be accepted, and if he couldn't be accepted then he would be the one doing the excluding. He didn't fit in anywhere even when he tried to go in with the Death Eaters. There was always something pulling him in the opposite direction (i.e. Lily). He wanted to be an accepted wizard, but he was excluded because he was half-blood, etc.

So he grew up and still couldn't fit in on the good side or the bad side but then he became a teacher and he had power. He could make a mockery of the students. Both the ones who fit in, because that's what he couldn't do, and the ones who didn't; not showing any pity for those who may have been like himself at that age.

He did show preferential treatment toward the Slytherins, but mainly in the beginning books. After some time, I believe, he got tough with everyone because if there was one thing he did not take poo poo in, it was with potions, where he excelled.

In the end, when we get the exposition of Snape's story, we learn that he finally accepted himself as having to carry on alone. He could never be part of any group. He had to deny himself what he had wanted for so long, and I believe that he was at peace with himself when he died.

Snape never really stopped favoring the Slytherins which is pointed out pretty aptly in book six when Slughorn takes over and Malfoy and company almost immediately lose a shitton of house points and get terrible grades for the crap they were pulling in Snape's classes up to that point. How much of that was due to his cover in the final years is hard to say, but he really was a piss-poor teacher in almost every conceivable sense. Its actually sort of amazing that he isn't even in the top five worst teachers Harry had during his time at school despite all the crap he pulled.

Plus, I never really got the impression he particularly excelled at potions. Every time his strengths were brought up, in flashbacks or in establishing conversations, everyone always talked up his affinity for the Dark Arts and spells in general and he always wants to bail from his Potions job to become the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Even most of the stuff that Harry learned out of the Half Blood Prince potions book were pretty hosed up spells that Snape either invented or learned from somewhere. He did have a whole bunch of experimental notes but I'm assuming that came with the fact that by his sixth year he had driven off the only friend he had, the older Slytherins who had taken him under their wing a bit had graduated (Malfoy) and he really had nothing to do but make up spells and brew potions. Possibly in an attempt to make himself ready for a position teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts which is about the only job he ever showed any signs of wanting.

# ¿ May 31, 2012 05:04

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

PrBacterio posted:

MOR is fairly typical of the kind of person that is its author, i.e., nerdy SF readers who take all that stuff far too seriously and fervently believe the singularity is just around the corner because they are so much more Rational (with a capital R) than everybody else, but for all that it's still a surprisingly entertaining read.

...Until you get to the part where Harry and Draco are casually discussing raping Luna Lovegood. At age 11.

MoR goes to some loving insane places, and its version of Harry is probably the most insufferable author mouthpiece I've ever seen. No 11 year old talks or acts the way Harry does in that story.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2012 07:48

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Calef posted:

The whole Methods of Rationality Harry Talks Too Smart thing is explained on the previous page of this very thread. The conceit of that fanfic is that Harry absorbed Voldemort's intellect when he took on his soul fragment.

Right, but Voldemort wasn't really that intelligent and was a charming sociopathic manipulator, not a spergy robot.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2012 20:36

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Jazerus posted:

That has always been my interpretation of the (non)resolution of the SPEW subplot as well - Hermione is smart enough to realize that her way of going about fighting the cause was useless and counterproductively annoying to everyone involved, plus the main plot intrudes and puts her in a position where she has to fight for basic rights for herself, let alone for house elves. I've always assumed Hermione would return to activism as an adult in a much better position to see change done, if not joining the Ministry itself to force through change. That's admittedly speculation about poo poo we'll never know about, but it seems natural enough that SPEW loses prominence without Hermione ever actually changing her beliefs much just due to the war.

According to some interviews and such, Hermione does spend the rest of her life working for (and reforming) the ministry department that deals with magical creatures. Also Harry becomes an Auror, Ron does too and then quits to work at the joke shop, Neville becomes the Herbology professor and Luna becomes an explorer. I think, its been a while since I read it.

Regardless, I think the SPEW plot was more about Hermione's personal shortcomings than it was about a statement on classism. She has some serious issues with being the smartest person and trying to impose her idea of how the world should work without considering how other people react. Rowling spends a ton of time on all three of the main character's flaws.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2013 21:19

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Saith posted:

The regular Harry Potter fanbase is pretty creepy and culty, and that's when the subject matter is all about the power of love and how good always triumphs against evil.

Stands to reason that a Harry Potter/Atlas Shrugged crossover fic would be pretty lovely.

The regular Harry Potter internet fanbase somehow managed to inspire hundreds, if not thousands, of people to read and eagerly embrace rhetoric that makes the Third Reich look a bit tame (see all of the thousands of stories about Hermione discovering she's actually a Pure Blood and not one of those filthy muggle-borns).

There is something really dark and sick in the Harry Potter fanbase, especially now that most of the not-insane/racist contingent have moved on.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2013 02:36

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Pththya-lyi posted:

The best part was when a Harmony (Harry/Hermione) shipper compared the mockery Harmonians endured on the Internet to the racial oppression Harriet Tubman experienced.

Oh the Harmonians were absolutely loving nuts.

Before the final movie came out half of them were convinced the movies would end differently from the books and Harry would get together with Hermione for the stupidest, most desperate reasons. The other half were still writing Rowlibg death threats over how the books ended.

God sometimes I miss reading the insanity :allears:

# ¿ Dec 17, 2013 18:50

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

bobjr posted:

Was there ever given a reason why Peter Pettigrew got Griffyndor? For someone who's biggest trait is being cowardly surely he would have gotten a different house than the one where courageous is one of it's three biggest attributes.

The Sorting hat takes your wishes into account, and seems to put you into houses that embody things you value. Not to mention you're sorted when you're eleven which even Dumbledore brings up as a stupid idea later in the series.

Peter was definitely a cowardly, villainous little twerp later in life. We don't really know how he was during his school years though, beyond the fact he was part of a group of insane troublemakers who willingly hung out with a Werewolf in wolf form once a month. As a rat no less. Pretty sure you have to have some courage to be able to do that, no matter how much your friends prod.

# ¿ Dec 19, 2013 09:23

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Olanphonia posted:

I think it's probably more weird that so many people in the other houses staid to fight. The reasoning for leaving is a pretty strong one. Voldemort shows up with an army of adults, giants, giant spiders, and all sorts of other things. It doesn't seem particularly crazy to think that most of the kids would get right the gently caress out of there when confronted with the literal boogeyman they've grown up fearing their entire lives. For the Slytherins, whom are characterized as interested mostly in their own welfare, it isn't exactly out of character.

Not to mention, those adults are by and large their parents. Or at the very least aunts/uncles/cousins, the pureblood families are really inbred and Slytherin only accepts pure bloods. How many teenagers, who have been raised by people who are willing to attack and murder innocents and children to support their insane and immortal leader, are going to stay?

# ¿ Dec 19, 2013 14:05

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Hedrigall posted:

I want to hear more about the insane Harry/Hermione shippers.

A lot of them wrote really condescending letters to Rowling they posted publicly telling her she didn't understand her characters as well as they did. Those were hilarious.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2013 23:58

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Weirder than that, Ron and Hermione ending up together was wish fulfillment? She identifies with/as Hermione and the impossible/unworkable dream is to hook her up with Ron.

I don't even know anymore.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2014 08:17

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Paragon8 posted:

She didn't gloss over them. She almost took the exact opposite stance.

House Elves are essentially a slave class that she dances around emancipating early on. The whole Dobby subplot resolved perfectly for that initially - we see how bad the Malfoys are for mistreating their servant and Harry shows character in rejecting that wizarding world norm and sets up Dobby's freedom.

Then we find out house elves are a fairly common in the upper classes and even Hogwarts. Lots of inequality in the magical community, Hermione gets all geared up to fight it. She then gets mocked and eye rolled for SPEW. Then added to that House Elves turn out to really enjoy being indentured servants, it's part of their nature to be servants to wizards. Dobby is now an aberration.

The message from that seems to be leave poo poo alone and it's silly to try and agitate for change. That seems awful in a series that does attempt to handle racism in the terms of wizard blood purity. Yet as soon as we're not talking about humans Rowling doesn't care.

The Goblin thing is almost more egregious because Charlie basically gives a roadmap of what'll happen and sets up a chance for the trio to genuinely surprise the goblins by honoring their word. Instead we get the trio falling in line with prejudiced reasoning that ends up being justified within the story because of course the goblins are bad just like all the biased history lessons they had.

YA/Children's SHOULD attempt to tackle issues like this because of the nature of the genre. Rowling squandered two storylines that could have been super awesome teaching points. Even worse than just dropping them, she essentially lets them send an almost dangerous message.

It seems like a crazy oversight for someone who wrote so fluidly about the danger of the modern media, how bureaucracy is a kind of evil, human on human racism etc.

I doubt the people that could have taught would have learned a damned thing if those plots were changed. The Harry Potter fandom has people whole-heartedly, and with all seriousness, writing stories where they do poo poo like making Hermione a pureblood who shits all over those filthy mudbloods. And I'm fairly sure that lesson could not have been more clear.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 05:52

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

I always thought POA was the weakest movie in the series. Mostly because so much of it just... cuts important information in favor of pointless bullshit. The movie literally doesn't make sense unless you fill in a lot of gaps from the books, and the humor/aesthetic shift from the first two movies was really jarring considering Azkaban was a much darker story than the first two.

Hogwarts is the Whomping Willow, a stone tower, Hogsmede and a weird wooden bridge they use for loving everything in that movie. Also introduced the giant pendulum clock which was just... why.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2015 04:50

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 18:29

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

GodFish posted:

I don't think a life debt actually stops you from killing someone/doing whatever, so much as being a kind of "emotional" magic like love. Except I guess love in Harry Potter is some kind of quantifiable force so maybe I'm completely wrong.

I mean, Peter owed Harry a life debt and ended up strangling himself with his own hand instead of killing him during Deathly Hallows.

Though that could have been a spell Voldemort put on the hand I guess.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 06:49

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