Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

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toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

BackInTheUSSR posted:

http://www.sptimes.com/News/webspecials/abaseballstory/

Back about 11 years ago the St. Pete Times did this really great piece following Josh Hamilton through the low Minor Leagues. For whatever reason it stuck with me all these years. It's a really good look into how lovely the Minors are and there are cameo appearances by Carl Crawford and non-prospects like Seth McClung.

sidenote, when I applied for an internship about a year ago, I wrote about this article getting me interested in the field, and one of the writers on staff of the publication I was applying to was actually a designer at the St. Pete Times when this was written. brownie points!

Good read, and this image is just priceless:

# ¿ Aug 11, 2010 18:49

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# ¿ May 5, 2024 01:19

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

This is just bad http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/masterson-has-potential/

Not only does the article start out calling Masterson a lefty even though he's a righty, this paragraph makes absolutely no loving sense:

quote:

As usual, the ground ball was the most prevalent ball in play type for Masterson on Tuesday night, as he allowed eight grounders, seven flies, and three line drives in a start which saw far more balls in the air than the typical Justin Masterson start.

: Masterson's start had more ground balls than any other, except actually he allowed 10 balls in the air and 8 grounders.

The article then goes on to completely ignore his horrid L/R splits which is actually whats keeping him from being a good starter.

I know this isn't as bad as some of the WINS type of articles, but for a site that is supposed to pride itself on in depth research and sabermetrics, this poo poo is just loving stupid.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2010 23:15

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Man this Jim Caple article is so loving stupid I can't even understand. I've never really read anything on espn.com before. Please tell me this is worse than usual. He spends 3 paragraphs not realizing he's countering his own argument.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2010 16:54

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Politicalrancor posted:

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/yankees/2010/10/14/2010-10-14_sad_lil_home_on_the_range.html

the absolute worst "Kiss Da Ringzz" bullshit.

The best is if you take their poll, linked in that article:

code:

What will be the outcome of the American League Championship Series?
Yankees in four 	2% 	
Rangers in four 	1% 	
Yankees in five 	8% 	
Rangers in five 	2% 	
Yankees in six 	        15% 	
Rangers in six 	        51% 	
Yankees in seven 	2% 	
Rangers in seven 	20%

# ¿ Oct 14, 2010 22:17

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Tender Bender posted:

The best part is referring to getting caught raping people as "adversity".

Jesus loving christ seriously. How are people allowed to say this poo poo without getting called on it?

# ¿ Nov 10, 2010 19:06

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Ignoring the creepy 'Marilyn Monroe deserves to be boned by a True Yankee' subtext, 'jilted the Yankees like they haven't been jilted' is about the most awkward turn of phrase I've read in a while.

# ¿ Dec 14, 2010 17:35

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

It's like retarded Inception, where I'm laughing at someone thinking that someone would laugh at that.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2011 20:04

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Yeah I could easily see this being a crazy Masshole cop case just as much as a crazy ESPN dude case, I think we need more details.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2011 23:00

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Smorgasbord posted:

I thought that in most U.S jurisdictions once there is a report of domestic violence the arrest has to be made and they'll sort it out down at the station? You don't help anybody by flailing your elbows around and resisting arrest since it has to be done. Based on the info in those 2 articles I would tend to side with the independent witnesses though.

Seriously, one time I got pulled over for having an inspection sticker 3 days expired and the conversation literally started with a city cop screaming 'ARE YOU loving INSANE YOUR UNSAFE PIECE OF poo poo COULD KILL SOMEONE GET THE gently caress OUT OF THE CAR'. That's not really an uncommon sort of exchange around here (although State Troopers are usually a little bit more tactful), so honestly the details need to be a bit more solid before I pass any judgments.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2011 23:56

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

leokitty posted:

What the gently caress?

Yeah it was really cute, that guy looked seriously unglued too, like I was scared for my life for a minute.

Another time they impounded my car for being abandoned when it was parked outside of my apartment on the street (it was driven to work daily). When I got to it at the city impound they had rifled through all the poo poo in my glovebox, left it strewn around the inside of the car, stolen all the spare quarters I had for the pike, and to top it off, they stole my loving t-top's. I swear there's like HBO TV series levels of corruption, nepotism and unaccountability in nearly all facets of local government around here.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2011 02:48

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Hey everybody, just like you I'm retarded and couldn't manage to get laid in college. That's everybody reading this right? Am I right? eh?

# ¿ Mar 3, 2011 22:44

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Jesus christ how could a grown man come up with that thought process

# ¿ Apr 12, 2011 20:26

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Ben Rothlesburger: Might be a tad out of line with entitlement while raping women.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2011 21:16

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

stuart scott irl posted:

seriously

Is it just me or does he look like a Will Farrell parody of himself?

# ¿ Apr 12, 2011 21:47

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

barkingclam posted:

I thought this was some dumb blog thing before realizing that it was written for the Gazette by a guy who's been there for 30 years. I dunno how awful it really is - it's banal, but it's far from the worst thing I've seen in this thread.

Dude

quote:

Tell me that wasn�t a just-but-vengeful G-d pounding some serious karma up Boston�s butt.

Biblical and anal rape reference in the same sentance. About a hockey game.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2011 11:38

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

stuart scott irl posted:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/25/books/bottom-of-the-33rd-by-dan-barry-review.html?_r=3&hpw

Oh my god

quote:

During the final game of the 1986 World Series two former Pawtucket teammates, Bruce Hurst and Bob Ojeda, �will spot each other, one in a Red Sox uniform, one in a Mets uniform, and their eyes will lock in wordless communication, conveying so much, including: Pawtucket.�

# ¿ Apr 26, 2011 14:46

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Seriously, did they need to do every single movie being released this summer?

# ¿ May 3, 2011 18:24

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

So Gehrig is a confirmed pixie dust user? Explains the steep drop off when MLB started testing now doesn't it? :smug:

# ¿ May 4, 2011 01:11

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Doesn't Jeter basically just suffer from having no old player skills to fall back on? Even at his peak he wasn't a power monster and he seemed to have good but not great ability to take a walk.

# ¿ May 6, 2011 16:38

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Im pretty sure I've heard Joe Morgan claiming keys to a game were 'making good outs' and 'consistency', so, it's not obvious to everyone!

# ¿ May 11, 2011 22:51

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Deathlove posted:

I know it's Chuck Klosterman, so it's probably Grantland at its ceiling, but man, if the writing is going to be like this: http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/6625899/three-man-weave , I will take it and be happy.

I literally hate basketball and don't understand any of its terminology or care for it in any way and I enjoyed the hell out of this article. I really hope this is what Grantland comes to produce on a regular basis.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2011 18:05

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

An even better idea: just stop doing interleague it sucks and it's stupid and annoying.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2011 23:10

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

haljordan posted:

From Dan Shaughnessy's article on how much of an ayehole Frank McCourt is:

McCourt might be a horrible owner, but is there any real proof that ANYTHING he did/did not do lead to the Bryan Stow incident? Unless there's footage of him fleeing the scene wielding a steel pipe, seems like a useless thing to include in the article.

Also Manny wasn't a quitter, the whole thing is retarded, Dan Shaughnessy is a loving jackass and it angers me so loving much that every casual fan you work with or meet in a bar around here buys into his curse of the bambino/Manny's a quitter/Nomah didn't dirt dawg it like Jeter bullshit.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2011 23:59

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Instead of picking at the obviously ridiculous parts of that I'm going to also posit that Big Ed Delahanty was a better hitter than Chuck Klein :colbert:

# ¿ Jul 13, 2011 16:43

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

The Pussy Boss posted:

But but but Howard is the preeminent slugger of our generation, it's not like his epic .828 OPS could be replaced with Ty Wigginton, or Mike Morse, or Giambi, or Daniel Murphy, or David Murphy, or Napoli, or Pat Burrell, or Billy Butler, or Luke Scott, or Juan Miranda, or Derrek Lee, or Seth Smith, or Cody Ross, or Johnny Damon, or Jeff Francouer, or Wily Mo, or

Im not disagreeing with the overall point but you seriously think Wily Mo Pena could put up an .828 OPS?

# ¿ Jul 13, 2011 18:29

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Mornacale posted:

So your premise is that it's alright as long as it's a joke?

Well its definitely different than if it were a magazine full of serious articles that were completely wrong/dumb/lazy/stupid/all of the above.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2011 23:33

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Frangraph's best article this year is not about baseball http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/index.php/in-sickness-and-in-health/

# ¿ Sep 27, 2011 15:34

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

I think it was basically saying its loving stupid to freak out and trash your manager and players and do a whole bunch of silly soap opera bullshit because of one 'bad' (92 loving win!) season. Which is exactly whats happening. Sure its duh but what else is there to say about it, it's loving pathetic.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2011 01:23

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

i get that i just find it irritating with the whole Victorino thing where it was all "how do u not care shane WE SHOULD STILL BE PLAYING" what do you loving mean "we"

It's just in a conversation with a bunch of fans of a bunch of teams it's way easier to shorthand it. It's also just a part of how we socially have interacted as fans since childhood, and everyone knows when they use it in context that it means 'the team I root for and I' or 'the team we all root for', etc, that I don't get the point of the whining.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2011 16:38

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

I really love that they withhold the name of the tipster 'to protect their identity', but happily post poo poo about some random girl because of this. What the loving hell.

# ¿ Dec 27, 2011 20:58

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Honestly I don't think most of the Baseball fans I know even know who Brian Cashman is. It's really dumb.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2012 02:21

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Umm, I'm not actually sure how that happened. I mean really, who signed off on that? IS someone going to be fired? Please tell me someone is going to be fired. How can that happen??

# ¿ Feb 18, 2012 18:06

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Albert Pujols is literally not even on the list. I don't even know what is happening in this world.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2012 02:31

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

LARGE THE HEAD posted:

But to contribute, The New York Times published a piece on the state of American horse racing at the more local levels. It is dire. Regardless of what you think of horse racing (it is a dying sport, so whether or not you actually care about it), this is the best piece written in 2012. Read it, now.

This story is really, really depressing but is absolutely well written and seemingly researched. I know literally nothing about horse racing at all, so I suppose it could be inaccurate about some things and I wouldn't really know, but, to paraphrase the equine medicine doctor in the article "We lose a really disproportionate number of horses. You don't see Olympic athletes snap their legs in half while running track and field, but it happens all the time with our horses." Something is definitely hosed up with the way that industry runs and I'm surprised that concern for jockey safety, let alone even a modicum of compassion for the horses hasn't caused more to be done by now.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2012 12:45

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

According to the article's track-by-track breakdown, Saratoga has a just-barely-above-average rate of incidents.

Sadly, average is probably way higher than it could/should be as well, if the article is to be believed.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2012 15:54

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

Yah I imagine even with genetically hosed up joints, a horse not on 80 pounds of painkiller can probably figure out that today is not a good day to run.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2012 19:02

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

morestuff posted:

I'm taking a flight in a few hours -- has anyone read any good (non-baseball) long-form articles recently that I can Instapaper?

There is the NYT article about Horse Racing that was posted a page or two ago, but, it's really depressing.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2012 21:30

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

FlamingLiberal posted:

We'll see, I hadn't heard about it until I saw the name Sarah Phillips showing up on Twitter myself.

Whole thing is an elaborate scam to drum up publicity for Sarah Phillips/ESPN Playbook :tinfoil:

# ¿ May 2, 2012 16:05

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

I think the best part about that dodgeball tourney was that it was played in a goddamn super-romper room covered in trampolines and padding, complete with players doing totally unnecessary and impromptu flips off the walls. It's seriously like an 8 year old plugged their brain into a virtual reality generator and the recording is what we see there.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2013 14:19

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# ¿ May 5, 2024 01:19

toadee: Aug 16, 2003; North American Turtle Boy Love Association

So, I don't care much about NASCAR but still thought this was a good bit of journalism http://www.sbnation.com/longform/2013/7/30/4567960/dick-trickle-suicide-nascar-profile

# ¿ Jul 31, 2013 13:15

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

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