Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

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FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Frackie Robinson posted:

Can't wait to see where this one falls in Simmons' inevitable "Journalism Eff-Ups Pantheon" article.

In a week or two he'll write a post-mortem noting all the similarities between this situation and the 1980s comedy "Just One Of The Guys"

# ¿ Jan 21, 2014 19:24

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 14:25

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

If you had told me that my favorite sports feature of the year, thus far, would be a Grantland article about the world's best juggler I would have laughed at you, but here we are. This was a fine read.

It's a great piece, and even more impressive given that he wasn't able to interview or speak to the subject of the article.

It's also an article that would have very different (and much, much poorer) before YouTube.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2014 19:18

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

midwat posted:

I think it's really funny that a man whose reason for being is "brand and perception management" is universally reviled.

He's built a pretty durable brand for himself. That counts for something.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2014 05:51

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

FairGame posted:

I forget who it was, but someone after Newtown wrote 100% unironically that children need to be trained to rush shooters since a herd of 30 1st graders can probably bring down a shooter with fewer casualties than most school shootings have.

Nice to see that sportswriters can get in on the idiocy too.

That was Megan McArdle

# ¿ Apr 10, 2014 16:52

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Politicalrancor posted:

This article is fascinating

I was struck by two things:

1) The way that the under-the-table money people can drive a coach or AD out of their job just by suspending their payments, as suddenly the team starts losing recruits to other programs. Something to think about the next time you hear about a school that had an unusually bad recruiting class or two. Yet another thing to hate about being a big-time football coach - the way a bunch of shadowy money people that you'll never meet have an effective veto on your job.

2) The way that all those kids who graduate with semi-joke degrees in Physical Fitness are actually put to work as coaches in local high schools, becoming part of a network for their former program, identifying talent and steering towards their alma mater (and getting a nice percentage when they get a four or five star recruit to sign).

# ¿ Apr 13, 2014 18:40

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Groucho Marxist posted:

Let's not forget that Chuck Klosterman wrote 10k words on KISS on that website

10K words that, at no point, made any argument that KISS's music was good or interesting or important. Which would be OK (you can argue that KISS is important because of the way they embody and personify certain hard-rock cliches about how a band should look and act) but he spent 90% of that article reviewing their albums and solo projects, one by one.

Patrick Bateman made a better case for Huey Lewis and the News in one brief movie scene than Klosterman did in 10K words about KISS.

Wesley Morris's movie reviews are pretty good, though.

# ¿ Jun 4, 2014 14:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

MourningView posted:

I don't think he's very good and generally find his whole "blandly lovely pop culture thing from my youth was actually great and you're snobby and wrong for hating it" thing to be pretty tiresome.

Don't forget his flipside, "Thing beloved by 'hip' critics is stupid and dumb and only beloved because people are bandwagoning the current hip thing" like his article on TuneYards that earned him quite a bit of pushback a year or so ago. That was was extra special because Klosterman let his usually-sublimated misogyny off the leash for part of it, with predictable results.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2014 01:09

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

tau posted:

Not to derail the Rovell hate train (I'm on board too), but I like Brian Phillips's writing on Grantland. And Derek Jeter's Diary is excellent too.

The sportswriting on Grantland is generally good-to-great. Simmons is actually one of their weaker writers (which, in a very real way, is to his credit).

It's the pop culture writing where Grantland starts running into trouble.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2014 21:06

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Frackie Robinson posted:

It's hit and miss, but Wesley Morris' review of The Fault in Our Stars that went up today is the funniest review I've read in quite a while.

Wesley Morris is definitely the cream of their pop culture crop.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2014 05:41

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

MourningView posted:

It's a lot better than it was when the site launched.

Reminder that early Grantland featured articles like �Does Sasha Vujacic �Deserve� Maria Sharapova?� and "Tears of a Fighting Clown: @mollylambert on the strange, sad rage of Shia LaBeouf"

# ¿ Jun 8, 2014 05:56

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Can't stop laughing that no African-American sportswriter wants anything to do with Whitlock's high-profile, deep-pocketed showcase for African-American sportswriters. Whitlock is just that toxic.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2014 06:44

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

sportsgenius86 posted:

Who will be Black Grantland's White Rembert?

# ¿ Jun 11, 2014 14:22

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

I was pretty upset about the way they took down all the other articles on Grantland, too.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2014 00:30

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

I hate the way it crowded actual important stories off the front page, like that video of Bill's college roommate eating until he throws up, or that recap of that television show - you know, that one.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2014 00:55

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

joepinetree posted:

This entire discussion is entirely hypothetical. I am sure that at some point espn would simply let him go instead of matching any offers he had, but that has not happened yet and I doubt it will for reasons previously discussed. ESPN has both the deepest pockets and the most to benefit from him, and vice versa. The whole thing with him loving attention more than money comes up every time this happens, but once again, this is far from the first time this has happened. When he got into it with WEEI, Olberman, when they canceled his podcast with Obama, forced the porn star out of his fantasy league, and so on, people would say that he'd definitely leave. And then he'd come back and agree to an even bigger deal with an even bigger platform.

The whole thing has seemed from the start like Simmons' first step in his 2015 contract negotiation. Throw a calculated fit, provoke a response, get suitors lined up behind him, then take it to ESPN - pay me what I want, give me the autonomy that I want, or I'll walk across the street to Fox/NBC/CBS/wherever as the wronged party who was driven out for having too much integrity.

# ¿ Sep 30, 2014 23:12

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kibner posted:

Simmons later had a write-up and apologized for the screwup and outlined steps they were taking to stop it from happening again.

That was the apology where Simmons spent like 80% of the text feeling bad for the writer of the piece, and not the person the writer drove to suicide or the family and friends of the deceased, right?

# ¿ Oct 9, 2014 21:55

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

NYT has a piece up on Simmons: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/15/sports/bill-simmonss-return-sets-intrigue-in-motion-at-espn.html

NYT posted:

Simmons declined to comment. Since his suspension, he has surfaced only in snapshots on his Instagram account � Simmons at the beach, Simmons on the golf course � seemingly designed to let ESPN know that he�s enjoying his time off. But people close to Simmons say he is furious and has been talking a lot about whether ESPN is still the right place for him. He has threatened to leave ESPN before, but this is the most pitched moment yet in their fraught relationship.

"I dared them to suspend me, and they went and suspended me! I've never felt so betrayed and angry!"

# ¿ Oct 15, 2014 16:00

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Lockback posted:

I dunno. I see it more as: "I tested a boundary I thought I should be safe crossing (though my dare made it evident I thought something would happen) and they came down very hard in an out-or-proportion way. I don't think I am the right fit for ESPN any longer." Which is probably true.

If you call out your bosses and dare they to do something about it, you really shouldn't be surprised or angry (much less furious) when they decide to do something about it.

I still think it's all just part of the chessboard that is his contract renegotiation (or his pitch for his next gig).

# ¿ Oct 15, 2014 17:09

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Crazy Ted posted:

Deadspin ran a story the other day accusing a Colorado Senate candidate of lying about playing football in high school. Well they apparently really loving stepped in it trying to start a campaign controversy because the Cory Gardner campaign produced pictures of him in uniform and a statistician/historian at the school said Gardner played football from middle school through his junior year of high school. The source Deadspin used for their original story said that his quotes were pretty much completely misinterpreted.

The author of the story was the otherwise-beloved Dave McKenna, mostly known for his tireless efforts at documenting Dan Snyder's shittiness (and Dan Snyder's enthusiasm for suing people daring to document his shittiness).

Ooooooops.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2014 21:20

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Crazy Ted posted:

I'm still befuddled as to why they felt the need to wade into this anyway. It's not like it's a common thing where a guy lies about playing football in junior high and high school.

I'm beginning to suspect that Al Bundy didn't score four touchdowns in one game for Polk High!

# ¿ Oct 17, 2014 19:27

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Geno posted:

Grantland Basketball Hour is on at 7pm ET on ESPN.

So hyped

Wonder if Bill can get his good friend Magic Johnson to appear on it.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2014 00:07

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Simmons didn't get in trouble for going after Goddell. He got in trouble for 1) bluntly calling him a liar and 2) daring his bosses at ESPN to do something to him for bluntly calling him a liar (and they did). Goddell is still fair game for criticism.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2014 02:38

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

MourningView posted:

But he won't give them a dumb soundbyte so better throw a fit and call him spoiled and lazy.

The functional definition of "spoiled and lazy" = doesn't make my job as a sportswriter easier by giving me pre-digested quotes.

You can hit the weight room all day and watch game tape until your eyes melt and run down your face, but if you don't follow that up by saying you were giving 110% out there, you're a spoiled lazy goldbricking bum. Got it.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2015 21:14

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

At least they retained the tiny floating disembodied head of Bill Simmons. :3:

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 05:21

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

The B_36 posted:

The content of her apology seemed fine actually, despite using that opening line for it. It didn't seem like she was trying to subtly blame other people for gettting offended, and took responsibility for it herself.

I'd be more shocked that it took her until now, TYOOL 2015, to realize that dressing in blackface is incredibly stupid and racist.

One word: Australia

# ¿ Apr 20, 2015 23:09

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Ramadu posted:

Yeah, as much as we like to rag on Bill Simmons the dude knows how to recruit and keep top talent.

It really is to Simmons' credit that he's one of the weaker writers at Grantland.

Blast Fantasto posted:

"breaking up the text with inspirational quotes from such figures such as Martin Luther King Jr., Maya Angelou, and Jason Whitlock"

I knew the article was going to be a good read when a section about a paranoid ranting Whitlock in a meeting just casually dropped in the phrase "according to audio obtained by Deadspin" - i.e. someone on his own editorial team was recording him on their cellphone and leaking it to Deadspin.

Goetta posted:

What in the world

Ha ha ha if Whitlock was paranoid before this piece came out...

AsInHowe posted:

That's really the best part. All the 'inspirational' Whitlock quotes throughout the article were hilarious.

There's a 100% inverse relationship between people who talk about "leadership" and their ability to actually lead anyone.

FMguru fucked around with this message at 22:21 on Apr 27, 2015

# ¿ Apr 27, 2015 22:17

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

FlamingLiberal posted:

God drat that's a pretty thorough takedown. The fact that the author got a hold of so much internal stuff makes it pretty clear there are pissed off people working on that site.

That's what floored me. Whitlock's operation is leaking like the Titanic, post-iceberg.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2015 23:55

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Here's 70 pages of rules and quotes about how to be a leader and demonstrate leadership, because we're all about developing leaders here at The Undefeated, and by leadership I mean being a perfect automaton doing exactly what I say when I say it without questioning.

That he thought he could get Ta-Nahesi Coates for his project is just precious. Coates is the anti-Whitlock, pointing out with extraordinary power how the black-men-need-to-pull-up-their-sagging-pants rhetoric of people like Whitlock and Bill Cosby is utter and complete bullshit.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2015 11:37

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

For all of Simmons' myriad faults, the guy has always shown a great deal of respect for great sportswriting, the form and the craft of it. He was actually a strong choice to run ESPN's Prestige Longform vertical. The early months of GL were painful with how much the writers were trying to mimic his style, but after some feedback and some turnover people's own voices started to shine through and the site is now extremely solid top-to-bottom (even the often-wobbly pop culture side of it has more plusses than minuses these days).

# ¿ Apr 29, 2015 02:47

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

howe_sam posted:

Grantland has Charles Pierce lobbing bombs on a regular basis. It's wonderful

Pierce also speaks to Simmons' quality as an editor - he absolutely torched Simmons' oversized basketball book (and Simmons himself) when it came out, and Simmons pissily responded by removing all of the references to Pierce's work in the softcover edition. Simmons was willing to look beyond all that when it came time to staff up Grantland, and he knew that Pierce was an excellent writer with a distinctive voice and a sharp understanding of social and political issues outside of sports, and to his very great credit he hired Pierce.

Could you imagine Whitlock doing anything like that?

# ¿ Apr 29, 2015 05:32

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Kalli posted:

I'm not worried about them eliminating Grantland, I'm worried about them turning it into what Page 2 / Page 3 were.

I'm no fan of Simmons' written work or podcasts, but the work he's done cultivating Grantland and spearheading 30for30 was probably the best content ESPN's produced in... the last 15-20 years?

Grantland could get even better in Simmons' absence, insofar as some of his more annoying editorial tics would be further marginalized (brackets, arguments over things being over/under/properly rated, celebrity career arcs, etc). It all depends on what ESPN wants to do with it and who they put in charge. It makes perfect sense that ESPN should have a place for longform prestige sportswriting, even if it doesn't bring in the big money. But they could very easily just let it wither on the vine, or (as you say) try to turn it back into Page 2/3.

And I always thought Simmons' preferred endgame was to become a big-money Hollywood producer.

# ¿ May 8, 2015 16:15

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Deadspin has yet another follow-up article up, and holy crap ESPN dropped the bomb on him.

quote:

The timing is vicious, even separate from the surprise. Simmons�s contract runs through the end of September. Rather than waiting out the string, Skipper made the announcement today, making it so that Simmons can no longer use ESPN�s offer as a bargaining chip as he enters negotiations with prospective employers. Whether this was Skipper�s intention or not, he�s functionally cost Simmons six or seven figures wherever he lands.

It�s a strange thing. Skipper and ESPN spent nearly 15 years signing checks and dealing with the occasional Simmons-related headache, so why make this move now, four months before Simmons�s contract is even up? It can�t just be the petulance (he�s always been petulant) or the money (money has never really mattered to ESPN) that brought down the axe. Given all the circumstances, this sure looks like Skipper simply deciding that ESPN just flat out doesn�t need Bill Simmons anymore. If the value of Simmons�s name still outweighed all of his baggage, there�s no reason the company wouldn�t have continued to negotiate toward a new deal for the next few months. Instead, Skipper hit the eject button when nobody was expecting it, and he doesn�t even seem all that concerned about the Simmons-less future

Something went really, really wrong with the Simmons/ESPN relationship for them to do this. Simmons' response is going to be volcanic (and almost justifiably so).

# ¿ May 8, 2015 23:53

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

ColonelJohnMatrix posted:

The Christmas thing is also really lovely.

I'm not 100% convinced it was intentional. Corporate payroll departments, especially for giant companies like ESPN/Disney, move very slowly. Ever started a job and had to wait two or three pay periods before your direct deposit kicked in, even though you brought a cancelled check with you on your first day? Ever submit receipts for reimbursement and wait months before the money hit your paycheck?

As for finishing out his contract, I can't imagine he'd walk away for 4 months of paychecks (total value: $1.6 million). It's also a contract - he can't unilaterally break it and go work somewhere else. He'll go into minimal effort mode and spend all his time on his job search, and the day his contract expires he'll start work for his new gig, probably with a sweet signing bonus.

FMguru fucked around with this message at 15:12 on May 11, 2015

# ¿ May 11, 2015 15:09

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

MourningView posted:

He's a big name, but as much as I like Grantland it's generally been kind of a flop from a business perspective, and he was trying to push them to add even more stuff like the basketball TV show they have that no one watches.

Simmons was also a strong proponent of ESPN backing Nate Silver's 538.com, a site which is reportedly an even bigger traffic bust than Grantland, and I'm sure that didn't do anything to endear Bill to the bosses back in Bristol.

You can put up an enfant terrible if he's bringing in money and launching lucrative new projects and has a growing audience. Grantland is a critical success and he did excellent work shaping 30 by 30 into what it is, but sooner or later you have to justify the salary they're paying you, and it's hard to see Simmons doing that, much less angling for another contract and a raise. Even Simmons' writing doesn't bring as much to the table as it used to - he doesn't do it that often, and he's probably hit the ceiling on how large his audience is (mid-40s Dad Joke guy is not really your best bet to win over new Millennial readers and viewers). So why invest more money in a property whose value has probably peaked and who hasn't exactly been spinning straw into gold for the last few years? Plus as that article pointed out, if you pay Simmons $5-$6 million, then how much more do you have to pay the talent who actually do bring in the money and eyeballs with their hot takes?

# ¿ May 11, 2015 18:57

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

joepinetree posted:

The reason ESPN invested so much on Simmons, grantland and so on is the critical success and respectability. From a business perspective, there are a ton more profitable things that could take up grantland/Bill simmons space, and I wouldn't be surprised if Simmon's stuff operated at an actual loss (as opposed to simply not being as profitable). But when your vanity/prestige project starts to affect your real cash cows (like the NFL), it is pretty easy to see which way things are going to go.

I think this is the heart of the dispute. Simmons is angry that ESPN wasn't willing to invest more into Grantland and his NBA efforts. ESPN was furious that despite being the highest-paid employee of the company and being given his own hands-off money-losing vanity web vertical, Simmons insisted on complaining and biting the hand that generously fed him, right up to going after the people (NFL) who really pay the bills. Given that Simmons' audience had probably peaked, that he wasn't exactly bringing lucrative new ideas to the network (30 for 30 did well but not spectacularly so, Grantland isn't exactly printing money, 538 is struggling, his basketball clips and shows aren't setting the world on fire, and his podcast make him a big fish in a very small pond), that he was going to ask for a raise on top his already top-of-the-list salary, that paying him means having to pay all the other talent who actually do bring money in, and that it's really bad for corporate morale and discipline to let loose cannons thumb their noses at the bosses without repercussions, then it makes perfect sense that ESPN decided that it really didn't make sense from a cost-benefit perspective to renew his contract.

The way they cut his legs off in public, though - that was personal. And nasty.

MourningView posted:

"Guy who makes jokes, and references pop culture when writing about sports" doesn't feel inventive or new anymore, so you actually notice just how loving stupid everything he writes is.

This is the other reason they didn't bring Simmons back. In 2001 he was a fresh new voice and a trendsetter for an entire generation of online sportswriters. In 2015, Simmons-types are a dime a dozen. His Unique Value Proposition isn't particularly unique any more, and there are people who do Bill's thing better than he does nowadays (and they're younger, and less wed to Bill's increasingly obsolete hey-remember-1980s-basic-cable pop culture mindset). So why should ESPN break open the vault for a guy who 1) has probably peaked, 2) doesn't bring any lucrative new ideas to the table, and 3) is a high-maintenance pain in the rear end to boot?

One of the Deadspin writers compared Bill's firing to the cold, analytical way his beloved Belichick-era Patriots drop beloved veteran players who have given all to the team but don't seem like good bets to provide value in the future, and that was exactly on point.

FMguru fucked around with this message at 22:14 on May 11, 2015

# ¿ May 11, 2015 21:58

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Simmons 1) straight-up called Goddell a "liar" and 2) openly dared his bosses at ESPN to suspend him for it (and then was incredulous when they did), neither of which Olbermann has done.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2015 19:54

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

MourningView posted:

And when you're less mature and professional than Keith loving Olbermann you seriously need to rethink how you're handling things.

Simmons currently has lots and lots of free time to think about how he handles things.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2015 21:28

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

DJExile posted:

For all of ESPN's problems (and there's an assload of them), it's good to see OTL still holding up well and basically calling out ESPNW and ABC on buying into Hope Solo's redemption bullshit

E: If memory serves, they also kinda called out Stephen A. Smith and others for trying to soften Floyd Mayweather's image as well. They seem to have taken over as ESPN's ombudsman.

The piece is by Mark Fainaru-Wada, so you know it's actual non-starfucking real bullshit-exposing journalism. He wrote the book on the NFLs concussion coverup and co-wrote the book on steroids in baseball.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2015 19:59

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Vertical Lime posted:

It sounds like HBO is talking with Simmons:

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/hbos-real-life-game-thrones-802764

Oy. Simmons ranges from terrible-to-adequate as a TV presence, and his ESPN shows failed to make a ripple ratings-wise (meaning his print readers weren't following him to the new format). He's a writer and a podcaster and a producer, not an on-screen presence. Building a TV show around him is a terrible idea.

# ¿ Jun 17, 2015 18:56

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 14:25

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

One of Simmons' problems was that ESPN was, in a lot of ways, a bad fit for him. It's hard to be The Voice Of The Fan when you can't criticize the biggest institution in sports journalism/broadcast, any of its broadcasters/writers, or any of the organizations with which it has business relations (i.e. pretty much every sports league). You can't do that and still be a good corporate employee, and I think a lot of Simmons' frustration was that he had to continually bite his tongue about a number of subjects. He'd be a lot freer and happier at HBO, which has almost no other sports programming relationships (except boxing and Real Sports/Bryant Gumbel) that might constrain what he could say. That might be a better place for him.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2015 13:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Sports Journalism Tumblr: A Black self-insert character called Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

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