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DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Harvey Mantaco posted:

This guy was telling me there was a comic where darth maul actually isn't dead and comes back to Tatooine to kill Obi and he has MECHANICAL KANGAROO LEGS. I can't loving find this anywhere and it sound too stupid not to read. Local comic book guy didn't have a clue. Is this a thing?

Also, I have like literal days of driving ahead of me... this is kind of obscure but can anyone recommend a well read star wars audio book of a well written star wars book?

Wookieepedia to the rescue again. Apparently the comic is called "Old Wounds."



Fantastic!

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DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

No prob, Harvey.

Hey, while we're on the subject of ridiculous villains, could someone post a picture of that guy with the lightsabers on his knees and elbows? What was the deal with that guy anyway? Is he the most ridiculous villain in the EU, or are there others?

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Simon Draskovic posted:

This reminds me of something I daydreamed or maybe remembered about back before Episode II; rumors of them trying to cast Jet Li as a "Sith Ninja" of some sort. I pictured him letting himself become captured, having his lightsaber taken away, and someone snidely commenting about how he is now helpless without his weapon. To which he responds, "For a Jedi, a lightsaber is a crutch. I am no Jedi." And then proceeds to flip the gently caress out and kill everyone with ninja Force powers. :black101:

It would have served as an interesting counterpoint when compared to both Yoda lifting the X-Wing out of the swamp, and Palpatine's spitting dismissal of Luke's "Jedi weapon". I wish the prequels had shown more Jedi / Sith doing things without their lightsabers. :(

I'm glad you brought up that point about Palpatine being so dismissive of lightsabers in Jedi. It just showed how above things he was, further cementing the point that Yoda, in Episode II, should have had something special up his sleeve rather than just spinning around wildly with his lightsaber.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Mister_Eel posted:

Yeah I'm pretty much the same way. I still buy Lego Star Wars sets and the occasional action figure. I still hold out hope that one day it will recapture my imagination.

If you don't take it too seriously, and kind of regard it without comparing it to the original trilogy, the ongoing Clone Wars cartoon is really pretty entertaining. The characters are actually rather bearable, unlike the prequels, and some pretty neat stuff happens.

If you're at all interested, two episodes are available on the website for streaming: http://www.starwars.com/theclonewars/. Just go down to "Watch episodes online." For the most part, watching episodes in order isn't too important, so you can just jump in anywhere. Neither are top-notch episodes, but will give you a feel for the show. Whatever you do, though, don't watch that awful "movie" that started the show.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

I think firstly it's a personal struggle. Not everything is about huge battles in Star Wars; it's interesting to see Luke face his inner demons and Vader face his conscience, even if it wouldn't have any impact on the battle outside.

Secondly, even once the Death Star started to blow, Luke had time to escape. Had he failed to redeem his father, then Palpatine and Vader would still have had plenty of time to escape, and the empire would survive. Destroying the Death Star without cutting off the head of the empire was not the victory the rebels were looking for.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Do any books or media explore Palpatine's character when he was younger? I'm normally against excessive backstory, but seeing some of his motivations in younger years, and how he got involved with the Sith, might be interesting. Also, if this was explored in any books, were those books any good?

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

I always thought it was just a some war among many wars in the past, and not really worth going into. It was a throwaway line. I've always been of the opinion that, even if they were good, the prequels were thoroughly unessential. The story is told in episodes 4-6, and you can fill in with your imagination everything they don't tell you explicitly.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Turns out at the end of this one, they actually kill Vader and replace him with Anakin's brother Steve. Then Starkiller beats Palpatine and gives him a stern talking-to about being nice.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Starkiller guides Luke's torpedo into the exhaust port. This will be a minigame in the sequel. Starkiller will be eating breakfast as he does it.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

As much as I hate to say it, I think he wrote it that was because he trying to make the point that love is bad. After his divorce, it seems like Lucas has become incredibly bitter, so much so that he trying to say that love, as a whole, is a bad thing. Really, it's a theme of the prequels. Almost no characters have any sort of romantic involvement, and for the two that do - one is led directly to the dark side because of it (in two ways: his love for his mother and his love for Padme), and one dies directly because of it. Yoda, the character who is supposed to be looked to as the voice of wisdom in the movies, directly tells us that attachments are bad.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

LLJKSiLk posted:

Not really because it is considered movie-level canon according to GL.

Personal canon is the only canon.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

If you keep complaining, it's probably going to be retconned into Vader subconsciously force deflected the laser blasts away from himself and into the other guy, who he secretly held a grudge against for stealing the Death Star plans. Would that be better?

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Wookieepedia to the rescue again:

"After disabling their prey, wampas hauled the still-breathing victims back to their cave dwellings and, through different methods, secured them in the ice for later consumption. For some, wampas used their hot breath to melt the ice around a victim's legs and then coated parts of the body in saliva, placing them against the ice ceiling of their caves so they would freeze in place."

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

I just watched the Episode III review, and now I'm sad. Comparing the shots from the original trilogy with shots from Revenge of the Sith is just heartbreaking.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Bene Elim posted:

Right, (semi not at all) serious thing:

I've been watching the Plinkett reviews and I've gotten to wondering how the prequels could have been written. Has anyone ever tried a fundamental re-writing? Not just making the lines or stage direction suck less, but completely changing the plot and basis of the characters?

I have a vague idea in my head.

<snip>

I think the major problem with the prequels, which can't be fixed by a rewrite, is that they are thoroughly unnecessary. Plinkett mentioned this, but I've thought it for a long time now. The original trilogy tells a complete story, beginning to end, and all nessisary backstory has already been provided. Furthermore, what a filmaker makes will never be able to live up to what a viewer's imagination has provided for them after two decades of wondering.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say that prequels in general are flawed from the get-go. We already know how things end, reducing the dramatic tension. But more than that, I think that if a story was supposed to begin farther back, any good film-maker would have started it there. Can someone provide me with examples of any good prequels? I'm going to go ahead and exclude Godfather part II because much of the movie takes place after the original, and Temple of Doom doesn't really count either because it being a prequel is completely inconsequential to anything. You could very easily say it was a sequel and nothing would change. With that said, are there any prequels that rise above middling?

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

I know I said before that I don't like the idea of prequels in general, but I do like the idea you all are discussing of Palpatine being a Caesar-like figure fighting against some outside antagonist, then betraying and wiping out the Jedi at the end. As an addition to this, as long as we're discussing ideas, I personally think it might be interesting if Palpatine, as Chancellor of the Republic, wasn't absolutely evil from the beginning, but morally gray. In fact, I would get rid of the Sith order altogether (remember, the Sith Order is an invention completely outside of the original trilogy of films, though I guess the word appears in the novelization of ANH), and have Palpatine simple be the chancellor, attempting to keep the galaxy according to his misguided vision of order. A search for power could have led Palpatine to learn about both sides of the force (in secret), but throughout the whole war with the outside antagonist he really is trying to do what is best for the Republic. The Jedi fight for him, as a sort of wandering warrior type, and we get to cheer for them as they struggle against a obviously bad group.

However, as the war progresses, Palpatine becomes more and more frustrated with the ways of the Jedi, and more and more frustrated that he cannot keep order. Because of their wandering warrior ways, he eventually decide the Jedi are a threat to the order of the galaxy and has them wiped out after the war is done. He has gone down a slippery slope, and will continue to do so between the trilogies, with him constantly trying to amass more power and make the galaxy more and more to his liking, as well as further pursuing the dark side of force to gain this mastery. Much of this could just be implied to happen between trilogies, but it would result in his warped appearance and mind in the original trilogy.

In this version, Anakin goes along with Palpatine because they become friends and Anakin (older here than in the prequel trilogy we got) agrees with Palpatine's vision for order in the republic. Palpatine would be much more honest with Anakin earlier in the story, and it wouldn't be through deception that Anakin eventually does bad, but through initially good but increasingly misguided intentions and his genuine friendship with Palpatine. This leads them both down the slippery slope, with Palpatine slowly going sort of mad and evil and Anakin going along with it.

I think that showing Palpatine's transition from a morally-gray but well-intentioned character into a deeply flawed individual obsessed with control would be an interesting addition to the story. Anakin and Obi-wan, as well as others, can still be the center of the story, but Palpatine's journey should be part of it. Palpatine pursues the abilities like seeing into the future and being able to control people (both abilities he seems quite fond of in the original trilogy) in order to keep peace, but this power corrupts him. In fact, I personally would find Palpatine's story more interesting than Anakin's story because Palpatine, as Chancellor, is in a real position of power. Anakin, though he is a skilled Jedi, doesn't have that sort of power.

Another thing this would help with is to give Palpatine some real character motivation. As much as I like evil, cackling Palpatine, it's never quite clear what his goals were aside from basic "control the galaxy" and "be evil." Have him try to gain power to keep order in the galaxy, and slowly be driven mad by his desire to control people, is much more interesting to me than an order of Sith that are absolute evil just because. You might argue that Star Wars is a world of black and white, but I think that the conflict present in Vader throughout Return of the Jedi shows that isn't true. In fact, I've always thought that "dark side" and "light side" of the force was always taken too literally, and is better seen simply as shorthand for whether a person pursues good or evil with the great amount of power the force give you.

Obviously, much of this is just my opinion, and I'm also assuming that this sort of story would invalidate large chucks of the EU (I've only ever read Heir to the Empire, which was good), but I'm just simply musing about the sort of story I would find interesting, when keeping in mind nothing but the original trilogy.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

LLJKSiLk posted:



That... doesn't even make sense. Even after getting over the initial ridiculousness, it doesn't seem like those claws would work whatsoever in a fight against someone with a normal lightsaber. I mean, how does he even defend himself? Is he going to parry a lightsaber with that thing? All the other person would have to do was slide the lightsaber two inches toward him and, whoops, there go all his fingers! There's just so many questions. I think I've hurt my brain.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Here's another geeky question: does Anakin's ghost ever show up in the EU? I kind of just always assumed he wouldn't show up again after that one time with Luke, and he would have to work off his lifetime of bad deeds first.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Those are amazing! I especially like how the backgrounds and silhouettes fit together. Like Tatooine's two suns are C-3P0's eyes, and cloud city is the open part of Boba Fett's helmet. Superb.

DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

Now I'm interested in the Rogue Squadron books as well. Outside of the Thrawn trilogy, I think I've heard they're probably the best books in the EU, right? Are the nine books in the series somewhat standalone? Are they all fun?

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DorianGravy
Sep 12, 2007

And doesn't Alec Guinness pronounce Obi-Wan strangely? Maybe alternate pronunciations are acceptable in the Star Wars universe.

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