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Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
When I hear the voice of James Earl Jones asking his son to join him on the Dark Side, the way he holds out the "u" makes me think he's calling for Luuke Skywalker. Then I get sad because I remember there was a character named Luuke Skywalker.

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Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
In A New Hope, R2D2 plays a message to Ben Kenobi from Princess Leia that said, in part, "Years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars". But after rewatching the Prequel Trilogy, I didn't get the impression that Obi Wan was serving Bail Organa at all.

Or is this more of a "Obi Wan was a Jedi, who worked for the Republic, which Bail was part of by being a senator" thing?

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

jonjonaug posted:

If Leia hadn't been intercepted there wouldn't have been a message to Ben in the first place.

Her message was there so that Ben could deliver the plans for her, since she was about to be busy with the whole "get tortured by Darth Vader" thing. Someone needed to deliver the plans and Ben just happened to be in the area. If she hadn't been intercepted she would've delivered the plans herself.

This is incorrect.

Leia said in the message, "Years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs for you to help him in his struggle against the Empire....I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person"

She was going there to recruit Ben and bring him to Alderaan

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

Throb Robinson posted:

I never thought about it. I thought she was older then 14. I guess that makes the whole anakin alittle less "Hand that rocks the cradle"

I believe Weird Al clearly tells us in The Saga Begins that "do you see him hitting on the queen? he's just nine and she's fourteen yeah he's probably gonna marry her someday".

However, on Radio Disney, I guess "hitting on" is offensive so they literally made Weird Al rerecord the line as "do you see him talking to the Queen"

edit: I was wrong. They originally deleted the entire line, so Weird Al recorded the "talking" line because he didn't want his song to sound stupid.

Locutus of Bald fucked around with this message at 06:33 on Aug 24, 2010

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
Battlefront II/RS/ES for PSP are the only games I own for my PSP, but I've played II and RS several times a week for nearly two years and they continue to own bones.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
Say what you will, but as a 21 year old man(child) I'd love to play with Darth Vader. We could play D&D, we could play Battlefront (With Darth playing Empire and me playing Rebel), we could duel with plastic lightsabers...the possibilities are endless.

You know Darth Vader did charity work. I'm waiting for the EU novel that shows him in a children's hospital, signing autographs and telling Little Timmy how brave he has, struggling with space cancer and all.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
Speaking of LotF, I found a paperback copy of Betrayal behind my bookcase this morning, but I have no memory of buying it. In addition to the first novel in the LotF series, it also contains two short stories by Karen Traviss about Darth Vader. I'm way too afraid to read them.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
I'd like to thank oxward321 for this insightful comment:

quote:

There are NO trilogies, only The Saga! Star Wars six films, one story!

There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. No trilogies. All the movies should be on equal footing; Attack of the Clones was just as good as The Empire Strikes Back.

edit: this guy is my new favorite poster

quote:

DarthShadow2259, really? I didn't know YOU made up Star Wars! You only like the OT fine, go watch them! And let the rest us enjoy, and appreciate, the Saga as a WHOLE!!!Star Wars is Lucas, PERIOD! What he says goes in HIS universe! The sooner you bashers understand that, the sooner you can move on!!!There are NO trilogies, only The Saga! Star Wars six films, one story!

Locutus of Bald fucked around with this message at 04:10 on Aug 30, 2010

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
It was always my impression that the force of being hit by the lightning made him unable to stop projecting said lightning, but then again I don't have the novelization so it's possible that it is explained there.

I do have the novelizations of the OT and, for some reason, Phantom Menace. Is TPM's novelization worth reading? Will I hate it as much as the movie?

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

Not A Bear posted:

I liked Fanboys :ohdear:

Least it was no Holiday Special.

I probably would have enjoyed Fanboys a lot more if I hadn't spent three years waiting for it.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

Ograbme posted:

I figured the prolonged self-lightninging was because the Dark Side lightning was fueled by rage and pain and poo poo and getting hit by your own lightning made him mad/hurt.

The last part of that sentence kind of sounds like something from a junior novelization (the best novelizations, of course)

The Chancellor was being hurt by his own lightning! He was very mad. "Help me, Anakin!" The Chancellor said. Anakin was confused.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

NGL posted:

McDiarmid supposedly did it himself. I believe him.

The only thing in RotS that wasn't digital :laugh:

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

Lukano posted:

I'm sorry Mark, but the ravages of time have not been your friend! :(

When 900 years old you are, look as good, you will not!

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

TheLoquid posted:

R2-D2 died at the end of ANH, which is why he never mentioned to Luke that Leia was his sister.

R2 got loving blasted and replaced by another generic astromech, because no one could tell the difference anyway.

Threepio would have noticed. :colbert:

Also, some weird guy on the bus unironically tried to tell me that C3PO and R2D2 are the main characters of THE SAGA (There are no trilogies, only THE SAGA) because they are the only ones who appear in 6. I politely nodded and said, "I never thought of it liked that" and then got off the bus two stops early to end the conversation faster.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

mojo1701a posted:

It's Leia that references it :spergin:

This is incorrect.

Luke: "You fought in the Clone Wars?"
Obi-Wan: "(laugh) Yes, I was once a Jedi Knight, the same as your father"

:spergin:

Kenshirou posted:

Watched AOTC in its entirety (it's been a few years) and I'm gonna have to say I hate it more than TPM. I forgot how loving awful that last battle is, especially the stuff leading up to it with the factory and the creature fight. I watch the OT maybe once every month or two, but the PT I rarely ever re-watch so I forget just how bad they are. Also why the gently caress did Kit Fisto force push C3PO and then smile at the camera? For some reason that really bothered me.

Sup OT monthly rewatch buddy :hfive: One of the most prominent elements of Kit Fisto's personality is his eternally cheery attitude. Motherfucker is constantly smiling. When he dies with the two other Jedi idiots in Palpatine's office, there's a shot of him with a big fatty grin on his face. Yes, he's smiling after death.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

NovemberMike posted:

Imagine 3PO and R2 doing slapstick while Han is being frozen in carbonite.

It would be pure comedy gold.

Don't give George any ideas for the fuckin' 3D releases, man!

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
I'm glad that Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope is listed as the first appearence.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

Pope Mobile posted:

While watching Episode II last night, I was reminded of something that confused me:

:spergin:
When Padme is on Geonosis and Palpatine is trying to get emergency powers in order to create an army, Jar-Jar (in Padme's place) suggests granting said powers to Palpatine. This makes absolutely no sense.
In the beginning of the movie, Padme talks about how she's been fighting the military creation act since its inception and favors a diplomatic solution with the separatists.
Jar-Jar has been with Padme for a long time, and he should know that she'd oppose anything that would involve creating an army.
Senator Organa is standing in the room when they say "If only Senator Amidala were here," and he probably knows that she'd be against it, too, considering they all sit in the same flying disc and seem to have the same political views.
Am I missing something here?
/:spergin:

I always assumed that Palpatine did some sort of Sith Mind Trick to convince Jar Jar to do what he wanted. Jar Jar is pretty much the poster boy for "weak-minded".

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
The Jedi were pretty popular, especially during the Clone Wars. You can't tell me you've all forgotten about Jedi! The Musical. http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jedi!

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

JihadforChrist posted:

The dialogue in the Empire duel is perfect. Particularly this exchange of words.

"Your destiny lies with me Skywalker. Obi Wan knew this to be true."

"No"

Its just one word and it says all it needs to about how scared Luke is and how much he hates Vader. Same goes for "you'll find I'm full of surprises"

Compare this with
"My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count"
"Good. Twice the pride, double the fall!"

and

"From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!"

but no gently caress that there are no trilogies only the saga 6 movies 1 story

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

ZeeToo posted:

I said that. That was a joke; not any level of canon.

Kinda telling that it was believable, though...

It's actually less ridiculous than 90% of actual canon, however. I'd sooner believe that than anything that happened in the Holiday Special.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

Admiral Goodenough posted:

Why is Luke even a name that exists in a galaxy far, far away?

Luke S. = Lucas

That's why.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
"Beings destined for hell were considered "damned.""

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
On that note, http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/The_Maker

"In a tribute to C-3PO's exclamation "Thank the Maker!", some Star Wars fans refer to George Lucas, creator of Star Wars, as "The Maker"."

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

Admiral Goodenough posted:

What's the deal with the force cave on Dagobah? I never felt like I fully understood that scene.

Basically, the cave is strong with the Dark Side of the Force (Which, incidentally, is why Yoda chose his exile on Dagobah, since his strong Light Side readings are canceled out by the cave's dark side) and, as such, can be used for training exercises like the one Yoda made Luke go through (I'm pretty sure someone else in the EU did the same thing in that cave).

Pretty much, Luke rolls into the cave with his lightsaber, even though Yoda tells him he doesn't need it. He sees a Force-projection of Vader and his immediate reaction is to try to strike him down, using his anger over Vader's murder of Obi-Wan and his fear of ending up with the same fate. Once he kills the Force-projection of Vader, Vader's mask rolls back and we see Luke's face, because Luke is only harming himself by giving in to his anger and fear (Which, as we all know, lead to hate and suffering), since doing so will cause him to turn over to the Dark Side, like Vader did.

e:fb

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

NoneSuch posted:

Or the cave was just a dream. Luke worrying about following in his fathers footsteps etc.

He didn't know Vader was his father yet, though.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

KaneOfNod posted:

The real estate's cheaper and taxes are lower near the Jundland Wastes compared Mos Eisley. Of course, there is the Tusken Raider problem.

Also the Wamprat problem. Which wasn't really a problem until someone in the EU decided that Luke was a monster for killing poor defenseless Wamprats and then wrote a book that mentions how there are several different species of Wamprats and the one that Luke shot were so out of control and such a menace that the Governor/Mayor/whoever put out a bounty on Jundland Waste Wamprats of a couple credits a head, so Luke continues to be a hero instead of a future serial killer.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
You know what I forgot about because it announced two years ago, but Wookiepedia was kind enough to remind me of?



Timothy Zahn is blessing us with another Thrawn novel this July. It's the sequel to Allegiance and takes place between said story and Empire.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

Mr.Graves posted:

I don't know what the hell you kids are talking about with your Atari video game comic book whatsists and your universe extensions but it needs to be made clear that Wedge Antilles is the real loving hero of the entire series and everyone else is a pussy that exists only to contrast the fact that the Death Star blueprints were fashioned after an analysis of just one of his balls. That's right. His testicles could destroy planets, motherfuckers.

Wedge Antilles would have flown his space motorcycle through the halls of the Death Star and right into the Emperor's lounge and fired his proton torpedoes right into the Emperor's rear end while the Emperor tried to pull the start cord on his electricity gloves or whatever. He would have then have done a plasma donut in the space command center while the British-star-nazi-orcs or whatever the hell they were scrambled all over the place and his plasma jets would have burned Vader's face off while he sped out. The last thing Vader would see would be Wedge Antilles lifting a glass of space Cognac and flicking a lit cigarette out of his cockpit at him before Antilles sped off to gently caress a squadron of big titted tentacle bitches. His command of gently caress yeah was so complete that the loving laws of physics would reverse themselves in respect for him and laser blasts would make noise in his reality just to honour him.

Wedge Antilles was so loving awesome they could have sent him alone against the entire Empire but they knew that if they did the carnage he would have rained down on them would have terrified the rest of the universe into galvanizing against the Rebels. Wedge was deployed in strategic restraint mode only.

WEDGE ANTILLES WAS AWESOME. DO YOU KNOW HOW loving AWESOME HE WAS? HE WAS SO loving AWESOME THAT THE FIRST THREE MOVIES SUCKED EVEN WORSE THAN YOU REMEMBER. NINE HOURS OF JAR JAR LEADING ADORABLE EWOKS ON THE PLANET OF BUYMATTEL AGAINST GROWNUP NAZI ZOMBIES AND WEDGE ANTILLES WENT BACK IN TIME AND ALTERED HISTORY BECAUSE HE COULDN'T STAND HOW lovely THEY WERE. THE ONLY REASON THEY STILL SUCK IS BECAUSE HE HAD MORE BIG TITTED TENTACLE BITCHES ON HIS SCHEDULE TO LAY INTO SO HE RAN OUT OF TIME FOR YOUR rear end. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO APPRECIATE THE THINGS HE HAS DONE FOR YOU. WEDGE. loving. ANTILLES.

This is a masterpiece.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
Everyone has the right to poo poo themselves to death and I'll do everything I can to make sure they get the chance to do just that.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

GodlessCommie posted:

LucasArts just had a huge management shake up and Lucas hates the original trilogy stuff so it will be released the same time as Duke Nukem Forever.

May 3rd, 2011? That seems rather soon.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

TheBigBad posted:

Does Mace really die? Luke survived way worse in terms of Palpatine force lightning and Jedi can practically fall from space? A severed hand is just going to get replaced with a mechanical one that has an etched serial number: 84d-m07h3rfuck2 on it.

Well, I'm sure there's an in-universe :spergin: explanation, but the real explanation is that Samuel L. Jackson told Jorge he didn't want to "go out like a punk" and that he wanted Mace to have a good death scene, which is why he gets lightning'd out a window instead of going down in order 66

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

RedTeam posted:

I was thinking about this today after a Star Wars-based conversation with a guy at work (it was on TV last night and he's just bought the Lego Star Wars games), but I didn't dare unleash that much nerdiness...

But this is clearly the place to share.

So lightsaber blades are pure energy, yes? And so they don't weigh a lot, if anything. So why dosen't every jedi do a Grevious and throw them around all over the place faster than you can see? Instead half the time they do big, sweeping strikes that their opponent just seems to go along with.

The answer to this is, of course, because it looks good. But still.

There are 7 different styles of Lightsaber combat and if I'm not mistaken, only a few people have mastered them all (Mace Windu for one. If I'm not mistaken, he invented the seventh form because he was so good at all the others.)

Check out this incredibly :spergin: article for more information: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightsaber_combat

You have to watch out when using that seventh form, by the way, because it'll probably turn you over to the Dark Side. Seriously.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

NovemberMike posted:

Originally lightsabers were supposed to have a certain amount of "weight" to them. Not physical weight, but more like inertia or something. Lucas specifically told Prowse and Hamill to act like the lightsabers were heavy.

I really hope there's some spergy EU explanation for this, like Skywalkers/Obi-Wan using a particularly heavy crystal in the design of their lightsabers. The more detailed the explanation, the better.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
My personal canon does not include a vast majority of the prequel trilogy (and none of Phantom Menace), but it does include the entirety of the Star Wars Holiday Special.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
Wookiepedia, you've outdone yourself

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Qui-Gon_Jinn's_first_apprentice

This literally has no reason to be an article.

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
Wait a minute, so Qui-Gon appears to Obi-Wan during the Clone Wars, but Obi-Wan seems surprised at the end of Sith when Yoda tells him that Force Ghosts exist because Qui-Gon invented them.

Shouldn't he already know?

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica
Possible Prequel Infinites ideas I just came up with:
1. What if the prequels were written by someone competent?
2. What if the prequels had good actors?
3. What if the prequels weren't directed by someone still in their right mind?
4. What if Gungans didn't exist?

Etc etc

Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

RocknRollaAyatollah posted:

No one said anything because working for Lucas is like working for Vader in the Empire Strikes Back.

I have this mental image now of Jorge attempting to force choke all of his employees and them just shaking their heads and walking away, disappointed that they work for a lunatic.

That'd be an odd double-edged sword, being able to brag to your friends that you literally work on Star Wars, but also having to put up with Lucas' insanity. Also, you'd probably get laid a lot, but only by nerd chicks and unfortunately I've seen the kind of women who are into Star Wars :( There are exceptions, of course, but far and away, the majority...how did George Carlin put it? "I wouldn't gently caress her with a stolen dick!"

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Locutus of Bald
Aug 20, 2009

by Debbie Metallica

Mister Roboto posted:

Just imagine how this conversation would be going if Palpatine really did turn out to be Anakin's father.

In my personal canon, Palpatine is the father, because that's much less stupid than "she got Force-raped by midichlorians" although I think it's (eventually going to be) canon that Palpatine and/or Plagueis went to Tatooine and chose Shmi (stupid name).

I prefer it this way because now both trilogies are about fathers and sons.

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