Geeky Star Wars Loser Thread Episode VII: Attack of the bugnest orgies

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Geeky Star Wars Loser Thread Episode VII: Attack of the bugnest orgies

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NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Chairman Capone posted:

The version of Oliver Twist with Alec Guinness wasn't released in the US for several years specifically because his version of Fagin was pretty much a "disgusting Jew" stereotype, so that doesn't really help the argument...

Oh. Well there you go, then.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2010 23:14

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 14:10

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

muscles like this? posted:

Another prequel contradiction from ANH, Obi Wan claims that nobody has called him that since "before (Luke) was born."

After Luke is born in ROTS, no one refers to Kenobi as Obi-Wan, so there's no contradiction there.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2010 02:38

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Mister Roboto posted:

A new angle on the Greedo character...

Yeah, he was played by Maria de Aragon in pickup shots. I really don't need to know this, but I do.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2010 04:30

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Surly Duff posted:

We've seen the ending, and the entire era has been mined to death already.

The same can be said about every real war ever. (Well, with a few exceptions.)

# ¿ Jan 4, 2011 00:39

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

SeanBeansShako posted:

I just realised Unce Owen lied to Luke that his dad was some rear end in a top hat drug transporter.

A navigator on a spice freighter, which was true. From a certain point of view.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2011 02:43

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Captain von Trapp posted:

Because they're a race of Boba Fetts.

Still haven't found out why people like him so much.

His backpack has jets and shoots rockets. Plus, he's super mysterious and doesn't take poo poo from no one.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2011 18:00

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Pope Mobile posted:

Yet he gets eaten by a giant sand vagina.

You're absolutely right. A character is only ever as good as his death scene. :rolleyes:

# ¿ Jan 5, 2011 18:21

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

LLJKSiLk posted:

Any consensus on the EU handling of this? Are we to assume that Boba Fett dies in the Sarlaac Pit as depicted in Return of the Jedi, or are people willing to accept that Boba Fett finds his way out of the Sarlaac?

Assuming that the guide to Boba Fett depicted in the books is true, he has more than enough firepower to cause some damage and potentially be regurgitated.

Then again, for all we know a Sarlaac worm is able to digest metal and spaceships easily.

Also: Is it true that a subject swallowed by the Sarlaac would actually be digested "over a thousand years" consciously or would they die and merely be subject to a slow digestion?

The EU is utterly retarded about Boba Fett, almost as much as Jorge is. In the EU, Fett not only escapes the Sarlacc, but does it twice (at least). He also has an unexplained grudge against Han Solo, but they settle their differences (in a sort of I ever expected to actually catch you sense). Later he becomes a good guy.

Gammatron 64 posted:

The same reason why they like Darth Maul. They're shallow and they see someone who looks really cool, that automatically makes them a cool character in their minds. These are the same kind of people who like the prequels. They like style, but don't care about any substance.

Wait, so if I care about substance, I'm not allowed to like the style? Or is it that I'm incapable of appreciating the depth and substance of the films if I enjoy them for looking neat?

NGL fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Jan 5, 2011

# ¿ Jan 5, 2011 18:45

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Gammatron 64 posted:

No, not at all. I didn't word that properly. I love some of the most critically acclaimed films ever such as Citizen Kane and the Kurosawa films, but I also enjoy Tron. Both Trons are pretty stupid and not objectively good films, but I enjoy them for their interesting visuals.

Boba Fett looks really, really cool. I love his costume design and his voice. But I don't love him as a character as he has none. Darth Maul is also cool looking, but has even less character than Fett.

Ohh, ok. I get what you're saying. I just find it a little absurd that appreciating some things just because they look neat renders an individual shallow. I've always been a big fan of Boba Fett, due largely to the fact that his was the coolest figure. Rose-tinted nostalgia and cool toys go a long way for some of us, I guess. (I have an embarrassingly large Star Wars collection. with lots of Boba Fett because he's cool and Jar Jar because he's not.) (Also, Star Wars and G.I. Joe toys were the only part of childhood I enjoyed.)

# ¿ Jan 5, 2011 21:11

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Fox of Stone posted:

Do any of you guys know if the Bluray re-release of the OT will have only the special edition + additional scenes version or will it have the original theatrical release as well?

I can't seem to find any info on amazon.

I sincerely doubt it. Lucas hates the OT.

# ¿ Jan 10, 2011 22:49

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Saveron_01 posted:

I think that is the overall point people are making, it is not just the characters that are easily forgettable, but every ship was one of a thousand out there. In the OT the Millennium Falcon was a character in itself. Boba Fett's ship, pretty bad rear end (okay they injected it into the PT) Darth's TIE fighter was different from all of the others, so it seemed to be special.

Padme's ships were all pretty unique. Shiny, too.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2011 21:16

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

LLJKSiLk posted:

Regarding the B'omarr monks, in the "Tales from Jabba's Palace" novel, Jabba's right hand man (The Twilek) returns to Jabba's palace after the barge explodes and is captured and converted into one of the robot things with his brain in a jar.

The "Tales" books were some of the best fanfiction. Boba Fett even had a good political dialog with Leia after Jabba sent her to his room to use for sex.

One thing I liked about the Boba Fett story is that it established him as a stand-up guy with a moral compass instead of a ruthless piece of poo poo. Not that there's no room for ruthless pieces of poo poo, but Fett is ever the professional.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2011 15:53

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Locutus Of Bored posted:

Also the Wamprat problem. Which wasn't really a problem until someone in the EU decided that Luke was a monster for killing poor defenseless Wamprats and then wrote a book that mentions how there are several different species of Wamprats and the one that Luke shot were so out of control and such a menace that the Governor/Mayor/whoever put out a bounty on Jundland Waste Wamprats of a couple credits a head, so Luke continues to be a hero instead of a future serial killer.

I prefer the Family Guy justification, to be honest: "There's two suns and no women!"

# ¿ Jan 17, 2011 16:00

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

NeonTurtle posted:

Holy poo poo, I would read the gently caress out of that book based on the cover alone.

Isn't there some famous saying about judging books?

# ¿ Jan 24, 2011 04:09

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Z. Beeblebrox IV posted:

There is! I believe it's: "Always judge a book by its cover"

That's the one!

Kart Barfunkel posted:

So has the EU had Anakin race any pods after Episode I?

Oddly enough, no.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2011 04:21

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

thrawn527 posted:

I need a new series to follow. Are they any sci-fi/fantasy series that aren't this infuriating?

I'd recommend Doctor Who. It's simultaneously brilliant and terrible. It's an ongoing series and ever-expanding universe involving time travel, alternate dimensions, and a protagonist who's aware of the fourth wall. So canonicity is basically a non-issue. It's been around since 1963 and has a solid pedigree of camp, which it really embraces, and can also be pretty dark and creepy at times, too.

Like Star Wars, Doctor Who has largely replaced its cheap rubber monsters of yesteryear with the cheap digital monsters of today. Some DVD releases actually have digitally enhanced episodes - as optional special features.

It also has 2 Earth-based spin-offs shows: Torchwood (for an older audience) and The Sarah Jane Adventures (for the younger audience), as well as a loose spin-off about K-9, which I haven't seen.

That's not to mention the oodles of movies, novels, comics, radio dramas, and stage plays (yes, stage plays). Plus the merchandising.

Check out the great wiki without nearly as much :spergin:

: http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Doctor_Who_Wiki

# ¿ Feb 2, 2011 01:47

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Gammatron 64 posted:

People make Star Wars fan films all the time. Unfortunately, they are almost universally bad. They really love Jedi with after effects lightsabers.

Surprised nobody's done Rogue Squadron fanfilms. I guess to be a hardcore enough Star Wars fan to make a movie about it, you have to have no taste.

Well, there was the Pink Five series, but I don't think that really counts.

Epi Lepi posted:

My friends recently introduced me to the Key of Time series of episodes and I have to say they were simply fantastic! It's terrible and amazing all at once!

I just watched The Pirate Planet last night. The ~~speedboat~~ air car scene was just amazing.

NGL fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Feb 2, 2011

# ¿ Feb 2, 2011 02:14

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

RagnarokAngel posted:

No no, he's talking about the new Clone Wars cartoon, the CGI one. He coughs in that one. But it takes place in (essentially overwrites) the same time frame as the Tartakovsky series.

But it doesn't overwrite anything.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2011 06:53

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Kylaer posted:

I remember one of the (awful, in retrospect) Star Wars books that I read back in the mid-90s, where Luke was stuck on board some ancient Imperial ship whose AI had reactivated and snatched him up for some reason. He was injured and all strung out, and couldn't count on his powers to save him, although of course he made it through in the end.

As bad as that book was, it sounds like making force-use into the all-powerful plot device turned out even worse.

Also: The more that hit you, the more that will. That was a good line, otherwise I wouldn't remember it ~15 years later.

I believe that was Children of the Jedi, but I may be confusing it with something else. I just remember it being dreadful.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2011 22:53

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

LLJKSiLk posted:

Do we have any concrete examples (besides Daala) in the before the post-RotJ EU of women's place in the Imperial military?

Well, there's Ysanne Isard, the calculating bitch who executed her own father.

quote:

Do we have any examples of Imperial xenophobia besides the lack of nonhumanoid stormtroopers (explained by clones) and military officers? We do see an alien spy in episode IV, the bounty hunters in ESB are non-human for the most part, and there are examples of non-human aides/etc. to Senator Palpatine in the prequel trilogy.

"Where are you taking this... thing." There are other examples (like enslaving the Wookiees) in the EU but nothing in the films.

quote:

Did Yoda/Obi-Wan sit there doing jack poo poo for 20-30 years from Episode III to IV?

Well, they learned the secret to becoming Force ghosts, and Obi-Wan kept a watchful eye on Luke, but basically yeah.

quote:

There are several examples in the prequels of Obi-Wan/Anakin single-handedly loving poo poo up. Why didn't Obi-Wan/Yoda try doing something instead of saying "hurrr, let's raise this dude's kids and hope they are strong in the force."?

It's not like there's much else to do. They were hiding from Vader and the Jedi Purge.

quote:

Did the Imperial military allow gays to serve?

Depending on who you ask, there are no gays in the Star Wars universe. That said, it hasn't actually been addressed.

quote:

Anything in the EU regarding clones breeding with normal humans?

There's an episode of The Clone Wars where they discover a clone deserter who married a Twi-lek. There was a daughter, but it was never made clear where she came from.

quote:

Anything in Star Wars regarding cross-species procreation where there was successful breeding?

Yyyes?

# ¿ Feb 7, 2011 22:51

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

TheBigBad posted:

Star Wars canon is pretty unique. Fiction canon is based on source material from the author, and its purpose is for all of the fans to agree that what we have in common is what is 'real'.

We all don't read every book in the Expanded Universe. We all don't play the same video games. We all don't keep up with George's statements. They actually pay someone to keep track of that and assign levels.

MHO? The fans really decide. I would vote for only the movies as originally released is canon. Everything else is just fodder because the movies are something every Star Wars fan has seen, guaranteed.

Also TFU is fun, but the light side ending is confusing in context to the movies. If the Emps and Vader know that Organa was a traitor, then they would have just killed Leia outright instead of boarding the ship.

This is why I'm a fan of personal canon. Mine includes the OT, several episodes of The Clone Wars (and Clone Wars), parts of the novelizations of the PT, and various bits and pieces of EU.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2011 06:01

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Suenteus Po posted:

Captain Panaka makes three.

Let's see, Lando, Windu, and Panaka make 3. There's also numerous background characters like Grizz Frix (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Grizz_Frix), Arven Wendik (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Arven_Wendik), and Achk Med-Beq (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Achk_Med-Beq).

But basically, yeah.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2011 00:20

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

There was also Captain Tycho

As I recall, Typho (not Tycho, unless you're thinking of the A-Wing pilot from Rogue Squadron) is played by a Maori actor.

Race is such a vague concept anyway, though.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2011 00:27

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

BizarroAzrael posted:

Yeah, and The Clone Wars is doing a good job of doing what the prequels should have done, showing us how close Anakin and Obi-Wan were. And Yoda, as we see from the class of Younglings, was almost certainly a Jedi Master who taught Obi-Wan at one point.

Only seen 3 DVDs wortth so far, but drat do I love The Clone Wars. Suppose I should see the CG movie for completion's sake and to see the setup.

I too am a fan of The Clone Wars. The writing is far better than the PT, largely because it's made by die-hard OT fanboys, and also, Lucas is a bit more hands-off.

The Clone Wars movie is... I wouldn't call it "good", but there are sequences in it that I quite enjoyed (e.g. urban combat, the assault of the temple on Teth), but there's plenty of crap there too (wise-cracking droids, Jabba's gay uncle). It's worth seeing because it introduces Ahsoka, and there's several episodes in the series that lead into and are a direct result of the events of the movie.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2011 21:48

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Rev. Bleech_ posted:

and who was played up as someone who was going to be a BIG DEAL in Episode II after her two second cameo in TPM. Wonder whatever became of that.

Lucasfilm marketed the hell out of her, mostly in comics. The action figure came out in the POTJ line (which began shortly after the Ep1 toy line ended), but there was only the one (until several years later). They also played up her role in Ep2 for a while, but that was promptly forgotten.

There's essentially 2 hypotheses for why she didn't appear in Ep2:

1. She would have filled the role of Zam Wesell, which involved killing her off, and she was too popular with the fanbase to do that. (I kinda doubt this, since Lucas also "killed off" Boba Fett, and he's returned from the dead more times than your average X-Man.)

2. Michonne Bourriague (the ~~actress~~ model who played Aurra Sing) was busted (allegedly) for cocaine possession in Switzerland around the time principle photography began and was unavailable.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2011 04:45

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Angry Midwesterner posted:

Sorry for the lateness of this reply, but how has the Clone Wars show upstaged Force Cthulhu, you ask?

By bringing us Force God.

Yes, that's right, there is a whole family of Gods living on ~~Kobol~~, I mean ~~Kolob~~, I mean some weird planet. Oh yeah, and they directly embody different aspects of the Force so forget about whatever was left of the awesome reconceptualizing we got of the Force in Traitor and the few other high points in the NJO... back to our regularly scheduled Manicheanism.

I had a few more thoughts on the episodes this went down in. Cross-posting from the TVIV thread...

Not sure if we need spoilers after a week, but just in case. And to add insult to injury, the Son is voiced by Starkiller.

In fairness, that arc was entirely hyperbolic. There's no literal "Force God" and Mortis isn't an actual place in the Star Wars galaxy. The entire thing was meant to be analogous to the Force cave in Empire.

That's not to say it was done well.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2011 21:07

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Directorman posted:

No, an A-Wing crashed into him

Causing his ship to crash into the Death Star. So, yes, in a roundabout kind of way.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2011 22:15

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Der Luftwaffle posted:

When I first saw it in the movie, I didn't even know it was a bounty hunter. I thought it was just a convenient thing standing there for the other bounty hunters to hang their guns on, like a coat rack.

Seriously, he's basically a prop made of spare parts from the cantina with some guns thrown on for good measure. It's almost like they couldn't afford to make a new droid suit, so they assembled a bunch of pipes into a vaguely humanoid shape, painted it black to look more menacing, and called it a day.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2011 22:17

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

arioch posted:

Better that than General Grievous. Or anything at all out of the droid army, with the possible exception of the droidekas because those actually appear competent/well-designed in terms of a war machine.

Yeah, I've always been fond of Droidekas. They're unconventional-looking, badass, and a bitch to kill in Battlefront.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2011 22:29

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

movax posted:

The droidekas were like the only competent droids they had. Really good at their job; lots of blasters, quick (rolling) and integrated shield generators.

They also have the added advantage of looking decidedly inhuman, almost insectoid.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2011 23:13

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

SeanBeansShako posted:

Will Yoda look just as bad in this one too? that is my question.

I'm pretty sure he's being replaced with the more accurate looking digital model.

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# ¿ Mar 3, 2011 21:13

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Pope Mobile posted:

Episode IV:
"They must be trying to return the stolen plans to the princess."

Why would the rebels be trying to return plans to the princess while she's imprisoned and the Imperials are looking for said plans?
Wouldn't a better line have been "They must be trying to rescue the princess. Get some more guards down there and watch for suspicious activity!" or something?

I know this is just a random line nitpick. I'm just wondering if there's some :sperg: response.

Vader was never all that bright.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2011 20:17

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Does the black X-Wing pilot have a massive back story on wookieepedia?

Depends on how you define "massive", but yes. His name is Grizz Frix.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2011 02:23

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Now I KNOW he has a backstory. But I forget his name.

Arvel Crynyd or something to that effect. Why do I know that?

# ¿ Mar 21, 2011 02:33

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Powered Descent posted:

I'd be willing to believe it. Roddenberry obviously never attained merchandising nirvana on the level of a Lucas, but he could shill with the best of them. Toward the end of Star Trek's run, he dreamed up a Vulcan insignia pin and had Spock wear it in an episode:

The ENTIRE purpose of this thing was to get one more item that the rabid fans would all buy from his mail order company. And it worked, too -- all that stuff's still selling. His son is running the company now, still selling phasers and plush tribbles and even the Vulcan insignia pin.

Roddenberry also wrote some lovely, never-performed lyrics to the Star Trek theme so he could collect half the royalties on it.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2011 03:06

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Slantedfloors posted:

All joking aside, he's a 30 year old puppet that has a better range of facial expressions than anything in the prequels.

Including Portman.

Fun fact: The Nien Nunb puppet was actually just a modified mask. The puppeteer was playing with it one day and found it to be quite expressive as a puppet, so they modified it a bit, and removed Chewie's seat from the Millennium Falcon cockpit set to accommodate. I read this in Star Wars Insider several years ago.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2011 20:36

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

star wars 3D posted:

Is the little jewish-looking bird puppet who sit next to Jabba the Hutt during the opening scene of The Empire Strikes Back a sentient race? Is he intelligent? Force sensitive?

I assume you're referring to Salacious Crumb from Return of the Jedi.

He's a Kowakian monkey lizard, which is a sentient, intelligent race. They may be Force sensitive, but I'm not sure it's been addressed.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2011 03:16

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Petre Wasou.

I prefer my approach:

Take your defining character attribute and/or distinguishing feature, take a letter out of one and/or put a vowel at the end of the other.

Or something to that effect.

Being a tubby jerk, I would be Jek Tubbo.

# ¿ May 4, 2011 05:42

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Flavor Bear posted:

That dead man's switch is bullshit and I hope it's the exception in the EU and not the rule.
loving Darth Vader throws his at Luke in ROTJ

Vader's saber throw in ROTJ and Yoda's in ROTS are the only occasions in the entire series, in which a lightsaber did not deactivate upon leaving its wielder's hand. Every other time (be it through clumsiness, dismemberment or death), the sabers have switched off automatically.

# ¿ May 9, 2011 21:12

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 14:10

NGL: Jan 15, 2003; AssKing

Bene Elim posted:

Quite literally a re-skin of Darth Maul, yet still more likeable than Anakin. Oh, Star Wars you've done it again!

Savage Oppress is a terrible name, but the character is decent. He actually has character arc with way more depth than Darth Maul and was a key part of the only decent story arc in season 3 of TCW.

# ¿ May 12, 2011 23:39

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Geeky Star Wars Loser Thread Episode VII: Attack of the bugnest orgies

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