Geeky Star Wars Loser Thread Episode VII: Attack of the bugnest orgies

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Geeky Star Wars Loser Thread Episode VII: Attack of the bugnest orgies

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Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

sickinwyoming posted:

It wasn't until the last thread that I realized the guy in the Jedi Knight games was supposed to be the guy from Dark Forces (I only played the first game, obviously)
The main reason I liked it was because you played as just a badass mercenary, not some lost secret Jedi, or whatever.

It's like Han Solo becoming a Jedi...
Please tell me this hasn't happened

Before the prequels came out and games with a Jedi main character were a dime a dozen, Dark Forces II was the first FPS game where you actually got to wield a lightsaber and use the Force. Anyone who says "it was better when Kyle was just a mercenary" is either lying or they don't remember how awesome it was when the game first came out and you could finally go around lightsabering the poo poo out of random dudes. :colbert:

# ¿ Aug 15, 2010 21:47

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 17:19

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Azzmo posted:

I'm totally with you in theory.

It's the manner in which many of the random or unconventional things happen that cause me (and I assume many people) to just throw up their hands. LotF spoilers

JACEN SPOILERS

Imagine this: The butchering of Jacen's character is why even Kevin J. Anderson's Young Jedi Knights series is objectively better than LOTF.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2010 05:50

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Azzmo posted:

At least the YJK series was honest about what it was. I don't know if I would agree that the quality of writing is on par with LotF but the stories are appropriate and don't just oooooze with disdain for the readership. [spoilers]

This was pretty much my point. YJK was terrible, but it wasn't disingenuous about what it was. At the very least, it wasn't a clusterfuck written by three hackjob writers; instead, it was a mostly-coherent story written by a single hackjob writer.

Azzmo posted:

I hate to say it, Esroc, because you seem like a good guy but: run. Run from these forums! You will be pointed to so many plot holes and problems in your beloved Star Wars EU that shame will replace adoration and your heart will wither into the little charred husk that the rest of us have.

Don't listen to him, Esroc.

I was once as you were, but I saw the truth.

Join us.

Your hate will make you strong.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2010 06:37

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Why hasn't horsepilot been posted (outside of Jerk McJerkface's avatar)?

From the last thread:

thrawn527 posted:

Someone else in either this thread or the last one pointed out how funny that page is, and I have agree. The first two pictures make you think, "Well, that's not so bad. I mean, it's horse inspired, but clearly an alien..." Then you get to that third picture, the one you posted, and it's as if he's looking at you saying, "Yeah, I'm a loving horse." I can't help but laugh when I look at it.

Hazo fucked around with this message at 22:02 on Aug 17, 2010

# ¿ Aug 17, 2010 21:58

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

SmokaDustbowl posted:

Speaking of which, are there any Jedis that fight hand to hand? I want to see some Jedis battle it out traditional kung fu movie style with no sabers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6abecTih3Xw poo poo like that would be awesome in a Star Wars spin off.

Mace Windu did a bunch of saber-less stuff against a huge droid army at one point, but it was in that Tartakovsky Clone Wars cartoon so it ended up being a ridiculous cheesy DBZ-esque wankfest.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2010 00:18

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Yeah I was about to say, Episode I Racer was the poo poo. How did you not like that game?

# ¿ Jan 18, 2011 21:50

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Yup, I remember there was some sort of "phase change" lightsaber in the Jedi Academy novels where some dude (I think the name was Gantoris, thanks Not a Bear) fought Luke with a super-advanced "twist handle=realign magic crystals=extendo-saber" before Luke kicked his rear end.

# ¿ May 11, 2011 06:39

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Millennium Falcon is hilarious

# ¿ May 18, 2011 20:48

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Joe Don Baker posted:

Really? I've put a ton of hours into that game I didn't know that. I'll have to check it out asap.

It's not just the B-Wing. For any of the ships, if you hold down the secondary button, you'll spin on your heartline axis like a modern-day jet fighter. gently caress the B-Wing's third ion cannon though.

Kart Barfunkel posted:

And fantastic shots too. How can they shoot a moving object going 500 miles an hour while Obi-Wan criticizes them 30 years later for having poo poo aim? Dude's standards must be through the roof

Obi-Wan wasn't at the race. Dude's just a Raider-hater. :c00l:

# ¿ May 21, 2011 05:15

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Holy gently caress, the backstory is even more retarded. It's something a fan made for a contest and later they declared that all the contest entries were canon.

# ¿ May 22, 2011 18:55

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

NeonTurtle posted:

Edit: Wait, are we talking about a lightsaber that explodes or a hand grenade that has lightsabers as its shrapnel?

A lightsaber that explodes into smaller lightsabers :2bong:

# ¿ May 22, 2011 22:02

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

# ¿ Jun 3, 2011 23:44

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Sith Happens posted:

I've got no interest in the game itself, but I do have to admit that the cinematics do look pretty slick.

Yeah, I have no expectation of the game being enjoyable or groundbreaking, so if instead they just put all their energy towards pumping out cool cinematics every few months I'd be happy.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2011 21:31

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Pope Mobile posted:

I was going to rant about how little sense it makes to say that one blade composed of light is more/less powerful or maneuverable than another but :starwars:.
We need a :starwars: icon.

It used to exist as a crying wookiee in front of a Rebel flag but it's been lost to the ages.

ZeeToo posted:

Apparently it was originally just supposed to be a sword.

As far as P-canon goes, I'm pretty much okay with painting a swordblade back over it mentally and declaring it to be made of phrick, the material that lets swords not get chopped in two in the Knights of the Old Republic games. Heck, just looking at the blade makes it clear that that's what was intended; the shape is nothing like the perfect cylinder of every other lightsaber we see.

Yeah, that poo poo was just dumb. A lightsaber is at least in theory a realistic sort of thing in terms of shape-- apparently it'd be possible to make one out of plasma in the real world if we had huge amounts of energy and equipment-- but there's no reason an energy beam would take the from of an asymmetrical sword.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2011 21:12

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Chairman Capone posted:

That's a bullshit excuse he gave. The reason why so many networks are going for safe stuff like reality shows are because they're cheap to make and so investors can be reassured, but Lucas was always going to self-fund the live action show anyway. Also I think the slew of recent well written shows like Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, etc etc, would contest McCallum's notion that quality TV is dying out. Then again, he is Rick McCallum who lives in his own little world.

Those are all on cable though. Maybe McCallum's thinking of network stations like CBS, ABC, etc. I can't think of anything huge serial they've shown recently other than Lost, but then again I don't really watch many of those channels.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2011 22:01

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

So why is Lucasarts basically dead?

They still aren't making a followup to the X-Wing series?

# ¿ Jul 2, 2011 04:50

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

HATE MONDAYS posted:

Teen goon here, watching Star Wars (the original series, natch) for the first time ever.. any good scenes I should look out for? Im on "Return of the Jedi" right now and so far it sucks.

Have you seen the prequels? What did you think of the very last scene in Jedi?

# ¿ Jul 4, 2011 02:10

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Are these the same radio dramas where "Empire" starts out completely differently, wherein a convoy en route to Hoth base gets slaughtered by Imperials? I rented that one from the library and played it on my cassette deck endlessly when I was a kid. I think they were called Renegade squadron.

edit: Holy poo poo it is. Wookieepedia tells me that the predictable endless EU fuckery retconned them to something called Renegade Flight but drat that's cool.

Hazo fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Jul 5, 2011

# ¿ Jul 5, 2011 04:11

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Then the Rebels' escape route involved making a beeline straight towards the Star Destroyers anyway

Star Wars :buddy:

# ¿ Jul 9, 2011 17:04

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Me too. Isn't there some upcoming character in the (canon) Clone Wars series with two maulsabers?

# ¿ Jul 21, 2011 04:48

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Darth Freddy posted:

To late.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/games/cebd/

quote:

We geeks don't stop until we know it all. So if you've been playing poker with the same people for a while, you learn their tells. John always rubs his right eye when he's got pocket aces, Mike always blinks uncontrollably when he's bluffing, Timmy always gnaws on his tail when he's got a straight. This makes for very boring poker, since you can read everyone like a book.
STAR WARS!

Add the Ladies of Star Wars Playing Cards to the mix and suddenly, the game is more interesting again. Does Mike have a great hand or is he just staring into the eyes of a Twi'lek dancing girl? Is John not folding because he has a great hand or because he can't bear the thought of throwing away Senator Amidala? And Timmy... well, he's still gnawing on his tail, but we're not sure what that means. Let's just call.

What the gently caress does this even mean?

# ¿ Aug 12, 2011 22:08

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

arioch posted:

Dogs playing poker.

I figured it was either that or it was implying you were playing cards with Star Wars aliens, but it was such a lovely and poorly-worded joke that it broke my brain for a second.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2011 22:13

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

I had a TIE Fighter model kit when I was a kid. That back port came with a little clear plastic piece just like the one for the front. So based on that, it's a window.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2011 00:02

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Mister Roboto posted:

For comparative purposes, here's how they've softened up Natalie Portman's face:

http://i54.tinypic.com/2412xyx.jpg

Does this mean they're going to fix that scene towards the beginning of Episode III where she's standing on the balcony and looks like a loving ghoul?

# ¿ Sep 8, 2011 06:22

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Suenteus Po posted:

Screenshot requested.

"You're so... beautiful."

"It's only because I'm so in lgive me your skin."

# ¿ Sep 9, 2011 05:20

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

The speeder bike levels in Jedi Academy were loving awesome.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2011 01:17

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

I got the movie novelizations collected in a single book when I was a kid (can't find a picture online; the color scheme was mostly black with red accents) and I thought they were really cool. Like the radio dramas, they have parts that deviate pretty severely from the movies.

edit: found it by Googling the author names

Hazo fucked around with this message at 03:05 on Oct 13, 2011

# ¿ Oct 13, 2011 03:00

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Buml0r posted:

Thaaat's it, of course it is. I thought it was one of the end titles, but I couldn't find it for some reason. Thanks!

Edit - does that same melody show up elsewhere in the film, or is it just in the end titles?

It's the musical cue played when Yoda is lifting the X-Wing out of the swamp.

# ¿ Oct 18, 2011 01:01

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Mister Roboto posted:

Magnoliafan: Editor who REALLY likes details. Changes Jar Jar and all the alien dialogue to a different language so they have darker dialogue in subtitles instead. Likes making in-jokes for fans with edits, like changing Dooku's saber yellow. Not the best writer, but at least tries. Also has a weird sense of humor.

Wait, what's the in-joke with Dooku's lightsaber color?

# ¿ Oct 18, 2011 23:45

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Kneel Before Zog posted:

151 5 star reviews on Amazon. Nice. Does it feature Luke primarily, or revolve around Jedi and the force? Cool Jedi and force power fights is really what i'm most interested in.

I've never read it, but I've heard that "I, Jedi" is basically a retelling of the Jedi Academy trilogy (which I thought had some cool Jedi mythology and Force battle stuff in it) with the stupid Kevin J. Anderson garbage snipped out. So check that out maybe?

# ¿ Nov 9, 2011 01:36

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

evobatman posted:

Thank you eBay!

My personal geeky Star Wars question is why Anakin's lightsaber changed between the time Obi-Wan picked it up and the time he gave it to Luke but as far as I can tell there's no official explanation.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2011 23:37

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Phylodox posted:

Or did they?

Oh my god

quote:

In the Star Wars Head to Head book, it is proven by experts that, in a case of Boga vs. the Acklay, Boga wins because she is smarter, more loyal, and able to outmaneuver the fast acklay.

And from there:

quote:

Acklays could be Force-sensitive, although this was extremely rare. Such creatures could teach themselves to use the Force and could fire Force lightning from their mouths.[4]

starwars.txt

# ¿ Dec 6, 2011 17:56

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Duckman2008 posted:

And Dash Rendar helped with stealing the plans (at least in the N64 game). AAm I the only one to remember this?

And there was a cutscene in either X-Wing or Rebel Assault (pretty sure it was X-Wing) that showed the plans being intercepted by a Rebel listening post disguised as an asteroid.

"Stole the Death Star plans" is basically a meme at this point.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2012 22:55

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Darth Freddy posted:

Any one have any good suggestions for a decent audio book via star wars? I am stuck closing by my self for 5+ hours and its boring as gently caress and music is just not cutting it.

I'm guessing by your user name you know the basic Star Wars story, but have you heard the radio dramas? When I was younger I loved them.

Otherwise I'm pretty sure most expanded universe books have audio versions at your local library, but (and I've never listened to them myself) the Jedi Knight books actually sound pretty cool and don't require a lot of backstory to get into.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2012 09:04

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Hello Towel posted:

How does his skin get to to be that color...

No plaid. It's not him.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2012 04:56

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

If you don't want to search

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cmo-YYoHnGs

Please don't let this suck.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2013 03:31

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

"Guys I have this rad new idea for a Sith bad guy. Okay dig it: Black bodysuit, maybe with some armor parts especially around the shoulders, with red lights on it. Pale skin, bald head, yellow eyes. Tats or scars too, naturally. I know this is a new direction for us but I really think we should give it a chance."

# ¿ Feb 1, 2014 03:56

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Flagrant Abuse posted:

You might want to run a spellcheck on your post because I think you misspelt K-wing, the A-10 of space.

I don't know why you ninja-edited, you had it right with A-Wing, the only ship that needs special training to fly because it's TOO maneuverable.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2014 18:54

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Limbless Anakin and Mascara Anakin should be the hottest figurines since Pregnant Padme.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2014 22:08

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 17:19

Hazo: Dec 30, 2004; SCIENCE

Rave-fingers C'baoth was the funniest loving thing to me in 5th grade and it's still hilarious to me now.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2014 02:06

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Geeky Star Wars Loser Thread Episode VII: Attack of the bugnest orgies

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