I Read Current Releases And So Should You!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > SA's Front Page Discussion > I Read Current Releases And So Should You!

«‹›3 »

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

From where I'm sitting, it's smooth sailing until at least August.

I've got a bullseye painted on the back of my head with the word "Smurfs" in the middle.

Smurfs. I had forgotten about the Smurfs. Good luck with that, sir, you'll need it. I wonder who's ghost will come to you for that.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2010 05:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 02:39

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Vargo posted:

Just wanted to let you all know that because of the holiday weekend, Current Releases will be posted on Wednesday this week. Jay Dub got True Grit, while ProfessorClumsy and I got shafted with Little Fockers and Gulliver's Travels, respectively.

You guys have to give him a good movie after Yogi Bear, otherwise you are just dicks.

# ¿ Dec 27, 2010 23:22

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

Now watch me hate on True Grit.

You didn't like it?

# ¿ Dec 28, 2010 02:26

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

It's okay, you can say it.

Okay then.

Jay Dub, have my babies.

wait, that came out wrong.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2011 05:04

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

Honestly, is there anyone we don't have a fake longstanding rivalry with?

Someday, you guys will totally come out on top over Peter Travers. That son of a bitch.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2011 21:21

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

As some of you know, I do the photoshop job on the banner that goes in front of the reviews.

I am thinking of ways to spice it up for 2011, so any suggestions from both the readers and the reviewers is welcome.

Also: Do you guys like it when I have fun with a certain film and do a special banner (like I did for Harry Potter and Tron) or do you prefer I just stick with the format I am already doing?

Edited to turn 2010 into 2011 because I am dumb.

TheBigBudgetSequel fucked around with this message at 08:55 on Jan 17, 2011

# ¿ Jan 17, 2011 05:34

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

So 80s nostalgia is totally awesome and writing a script where the main character goes "John Hughes this! and Cameron Crowe that!" is something people actually like?

Okay, fine. If that makes me wrong, I'll be happy and wrong until the day I die.

This. This is why you get to see movies like The Smurfs.

Mr. Wrong Wrongington.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2011 02:02

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Vargo posted:

In case anyone cares to read them again before the Oscars, here all all the reviews we've done on this year's Best Picture nominees:

Inception
The Social Network
The Fighter
The King's Speech
True Grit
Winter's Bone
Toy Story 3
127 Hours

It appears we only missed Black Swan and The Kids are Allright. Not bad, all in all. We could give our thoughts on those two here, if anyone cares.

Also, which one of you did this?

I would have reviewed Black Swan for you guys, but my review was "too repetitive." according to some Clumsy guy. I dunno. Lame.

(He is totally right,btw , I rambled like a motherfucker in the review I wrote. I also used the term "film" a gently caress load)

# ¿ Feb 22, 2011 03:48

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Hey Vargo, what movies are you guys doing this week? I assume Drive Angry, but anything else?

# ¿ Feb 27, 2011 04:41

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

I've got a thing or two to say about Hall Pass.

Also, this week's reviews will be up on Wednesday due to circumstances ~~entirely within~~ beyond our control. To make up for it, we're preparing a special post-Oscar surprise.

Well that explains why Clumsy has beaten down my digital door asking for a banner.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2011 07:11

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

ProfessorClumsy posted:

Best e-mail I have ever recieved:

I wonder if he likes the photoshop banners :ohdear:

# ¿ Mar 6, 2011 21:31

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Zemeckis is shopping Yellow Submarine to other studios now, apparently, so it's not totally gone yet.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2011 07:03

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

ProfessorClumsy posted:

That Movie of the Week graphic looks pretty nice.

I agree.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2011 22:16

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

I'll take these things into consideration this week, because Sucker Punch looks completely loving stupid.

YOU look loving stupid.

:colbert:

# ¿ Mar 22, 2011 16:08

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Y-Hat posted:

When you get down to it, I think that Current Releases is a good fit for the SA front page because it still manages to be humorous in addition to being a good source for movie reviews, and the first thing that comes to mind when I think of SA is "humor."

As for this week's batch of reviews, comparing jump scares to "FWD: FWD: FWD: SCROLL DOWN FOR SCARY!!!" emails is brilliant and I don't know why no one has made that comparison before. I was a little confused about why Insidious had a higher score than Source Code, though. Vargo said that the last part of Insidious was terrible, while ProfessorClumsy didn't seem to put the ending of Source Code on that level.

It's not mentioned well in the review, but in the General Chat thread, Vargo stated his rethinking of the movie raised his opinion of the last part.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2011 11:28

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

I told those idiots to password-lock that poo poo.

You spend your time getting involved with this, and yet Peter Travers roams free? You people are stupid.

# ¿ May 9, 2011 05:11

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Vargo posted:

This week actually made us talk about making a separate graphic for "Movie of the...Week?"

Oh? The graphic guy never heard poo poo.

# ¿ May 10, 2011 04:34

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Vargo posted:

Well, no, we don't tell that guy anything until it's time to drag him out of the cupboard with the water heater. We don't really like talking to him.

You know, that actually explains a lot.

P.S. The rats in here ate all the food. Send more food.

TheBigBudgetSequel fucked around with this message at 05:21 on May 10, 2011

# ¿ May 10, 2011 05:16

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Fig Newton posted:

Re: Pirates 4.

I wish I had been able to read your review before I dragged my husband to see this today. I actually liked the first three movies, so I would have gritted my teeth and gone to see it by myself even with its desperate 38% on the Rotten Tomatometer, just for old times' sake if nothing else. But I didn't need to put my nearest and dearest through it, even though he was facing a boring Sunday afternoon by himself, plus I could've saved his $5.75, in addition to the price of the jumbo popcorn he was forced to resort to at the halfway mark (he the non-popcorn-eater) in order to get through it. As for myself, I realized that about the time he went out for popcorn, I was feeling cross because the theater's seats were just the wrong size and shape for me to settle back and go to sleep.

And I'm a fan, remember.

We too found the mermaid love story subplot to be baffling, and actually sat through the entire credits hoping there would be some kind of resolution of that huge ("Wait, what?") loose end.

I wonder how he tasted. Being a man of God might make one stringy and flavorless.

# ¿ May 23, 2011 04:22

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

Or at least that one of them might be good, even if it's entirely by accident.

My fear is that I'll lose all the respect that I gained for him after he kicked Vince Vaughn in the nads in The Dilemma.

He takes a Gorilla to TGIFridays. Respect will be lost in record speeds.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2011 02:22

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Vargo posted:

Fun fact: ProfessorClumsy actually cut out a paragraph of the Wolverine section where I talk about the first half hour for being too positive, saying it broke the flow. Reading it a gain, he's totally right, but I still found it interesting.

Clumsy removing positive things from a review of Wolverine. :psyduck:

# ¿ Jun 8, 2011 06:17

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

ProfessorClumsy posted:

Even Garbage Day has backed me up on Wolverine. There's a revolution coming.

A revolution of utter poo poo scripts, Hugh Jackman trying too hard, and helicopters exploding twice.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2011 18:44

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

ProfessorClumsy posted:

We offended a wannabe clown.

I may have located a picture of our dear reader.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2011 00:14

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

Paging BigBudgetSequel to the Current Releases office. BigBudgetSequel to the office.

I'll see what I can whip up.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2011 04:30

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

ProfessorClumsy posted:

Didn't stop infamous pussy magnet Y-Hat though.

Sha-zinnnnng.

Score one to the Professor.

# ¿ Jul 4, 2011 04:08

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Jay Dub posted:

Does that imply that Smurfette is unsure about the fact that she enjoyed kissing a guy?

We may have to face the apocalyptic possibility that Smurfette, the one and only female Smurf, is a lesbian.

Papa Smurf is just going "Son of a Smurf."

# ¿ Jul 19, 2011 02:15

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

This week in Current Releases: Everything Sucks!

Made for some good reading though.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2011 08:15

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

My local theater hosed up the reels with Spy Kids 3D, so the movie was all out of order. Best part? It didn't change the plot of the film one loving bit.

They never put it the right way because they gave no fucks and no one noticed.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2011 09:16

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Current Releases: Here to Help. :unsmith:

# ¿ Sep 27, 2011 02:55

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Everyone giving 45s out to good movies.

Also: I am climbing out of the Current Releases basement to ask what you all thought of the new TURD of the WEEK icon from last week's review. I've heard from some that they disliked it, but I figured I'd ask the readers to see what they think.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2011 23:49

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Nucular Carmul posted:

Did you edit it out? I only sort of vaguely remembered it but at Angela Christine's comment that it was too realistic I went back to look at it but it wasn't there.

I believe it was removed, yes. This is what it looked like (Linked) http://i.imgur.com/gG4e0.png

The turd is one of those gag gifts, and I didn't anticipate how realistic it might look.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2011 04:46

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

I wonder if I can come up with a "DOG WITH BLADDER ISSUES OF THE WEEK" icon.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2011 03:30

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Professor Clumsy posted:

Oh well.

Here at Current Releases the customer is always right except when we say gently caress it. Then they aren't.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2011 02:19

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Admiral Goodenough posted:

About the last release, what was the reasoning behind Ben Lyons proclaiming I Am Legend as required watching?

It's Ben Lyons. He's just all around terrible.

Edit: Oh, beaten to it by Y-Hat: Ladykiller

# ¿ Nov 21, 2011 00:46

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

DumbWhiteGuy posted:

Kind of disappointed that there was no Mission Impossible review this week

It didn't open wide this week. Just in IMAX theaters. I imagine when it opens in regular cinemas, it will get a review.

It's pretty fantastic too. Easily the most fun movie in the M:I franchise.

# ¿ Dec 18, 2011 20:00

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

I can't say, because I haven't seen the Swedish film, but I really liked Mara as Lisbeth. She was the one thing that really worked (well, that and Daniel Craig being bewildered by loving everything.)

# ¿ Dec 29, 2011 07:16

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Vargo posted:

I wrote that article. Ian, who enjoyed the film a great deal more than I did, wrote the follow-up article, in which he mentions my distaste for it.

Insidious is one of those rare reviews where I wish I could get a do-over, because after I wrote the review, I realized that a lot of the points I was upset with were kinda the point of the movie. I declared my change of heart in this thread, in the CineD gen chat thread, and on our Facebook page.

In the game of movie reviews, there are no do-overs, Mr. Vargo.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2012 03:33

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Y-Hat posted:

But Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close isn't about 9/11! It even says so in the trailer!

My sister read the book and got mad at me when I said the movie looked terrible, then went "Well, it's not really about 9/11"

# ¿ Jan 22, 2012 19:47

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

As someone who grew up in a household that thought all Christian media was great, and all "secular" media was not, I can say that JayDub is 100% correct about the films preaching to the choir. When Left Behind came out, they asked people to pledge to see it in theaters when it came out limited. Mind you, it came out on VHS before it ever reached theaters, but, they had a website that was like "Spread the word of God. Take your friends to see Left Behind."

Left Behind is a terrible loving movie. The sequel is only slightly less bad.

They even do this to main stream movies that have some base connection to the church, like with The Passion of the Christ* My church rented out two theaters of the movie for three nights in a row, and barely even made their money back on the venture. Some churches did the same thing with the first Narnia movie. It's baffling.

They preach that they are trying to spread the word of god, but the only people that come are church-goers in the first place.

*I used to do video editing for my church, and they kept asking me to use clips from Passion of the Christ. Eventually I said no. I had to say "The movie is fine for what it is, but you people are worshiping it as much as you are the subject matter. It's a movie, made by a man who made it, not because he felt some debt to his religion, but because he knew churches like this would spend boatloads of cash on it." That was shortly before I ended up leaving the church because gently caress organized religion.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2012 16:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 02:39

TheBigBudgetSequel: Nov 25, 2008; It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

Professor Clumsy posted:

I haven't seen Captain America and probably never will.

You are missing out. I think Captain America is lots of pulpy fun, and is the most successful at integrating the universe poo poo, making it important, rather than just "Hey, this is stuff that will be cool in a movie or two"

# ¿ Apr 29, 2012 19:25

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > SA's Front Page Discussion > I Read Current Releases And So Should You!

«‹›3 »