[UK] The Great British programme discussion: Piers Morgan Memorial Pier

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Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Sion posted:

ITV is a bit of a weird one in that it�s a purely commercial channel that changes how it�s presented around the country. In Scotland ITV is called STV. In Ireland it�s called UTV. England and Wales it�s called ITV. It produces Coronation Street (imagine Eastenders only with less sanity and more grime), The X Factor, Britain�s Got Talent, Dancing on Ice, Dancing on Ice with the stars, Dancing on Ice Extra, Dancing on Ice�s little brother and Primeval. Somehow ITV decided it would be a good idea to see if they could stretch their stunning list of shows over 4 channels that you can only subject yourself to through Digital TV. ITV shows don�t get good ratings and the show is bleeding money from the hip.

STV and UTV are independent of ITV, in that they're not owned by ITV plc but by STV group and UTV Media, who all have shares in the ITV franchise. ITV plc's organisational structure is the result of this shitfest:

It also means exciting regional variations for programming which is specifically designed to piss off schedulers or embarrass other parts of the network, eg. this year's series of Britain's Best Dish not being carried by STV, so nobody in Scotland could watch it. Including the contestants.

As to the bad ratings thing, ITV has some of the consistently highest rating shows on British network television. *

code:

BBC1
w/e 29 Aug 2010                                         000's
1	EASTENDERS (MON 2001)                   	9,245
2	EASTENDERS (TUE 1929)                     	8,723
3	EASTENDERS (FRI 2000)                      	8,616
4	EASTENDERS (THU 1928)                    	8,605
5	WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? (MON 2100)          	6,463
6	THE VERY LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE (SUN 2000)	5,709
7	HOLBY CITY (WED 1929)                     	5,306
8	SECRET BRITAIN (SUN 2059)                      	5,304
9	GREAT BRITISH WASTE MENU (WED 2030)       	5,244
10	COUNTRYFILE (SUN 1900)                  	5,204

ITV1
w/e 29 Aug 2010                                         000's
1	THE X FACTOR (SAT 1929)                 	10,810
2	CORONATION STREET (MON 1932)                   	9,506
3	CORONATION STREET (MON 2029)                   	9,467
4	CORONATION STREET (FRI 1932)              	8,134
5	CORONATION STREET (THU 2031)            	8,045
6	CORONATION STREET (FRI 2029)              	7,938
7	EMMERDALE (MON 1900)                    	7,255
8	EMMERDALE (THU 1959)                     	6,781
9	EMMERDALE (WED 1859)                    	6,748
10	EMMERDALE (THU 1900)                     	6,747

Though they are strangely terrible at making money, only having made �196 million last year. Which is astoundingly shite for a company with a turnover of almost 2 billion pounds.

* disclaimer: this doesn't mean I think they're good shows, it just means the audience are idiots.

Rude Dude With Tude fucked around with this message at 01:03 on Sep 7, 2010

# ¿ Sep 7, 2010 01:00

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 09:21

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

thehustler posted:

My Guernsey-born colleague insists that you amend that and add Channel to it.

They're an important part of the ITV cog, given that all the compliance goes through them.

Here's an interesting fact for you all. The ITV network of the modern day is less resilient than in the old days. I've been doing a lot of nerdy reading about the network and how it was all linked together, back in the days when individual regions were responsible for their own playout.

Not all compliance is done by Channel, there's a compliance department at TLS in the weird building bolted on to the side of the building that's got This Morning in it and there's doubtlessly other compliance departments dotted around the UK. It's handy having them to do compliance because that way ITV gets fined less when they gently caress up. Also I just stole that graph from Wikipedia and I totally forgot they existed.

Playout is (now) easily messed with because it's all run by Technicolor in Chiswick, who have just spent lots of money on button covers that will probably be removed by the next engineer in a hurry.

e: VVV oh well you said it better and should make more nerdy posts like that. Also yeah you're spot on with Channel being used to lessen the damage on fines from Ofcom, as they can only fine you up to 5% of the ad revenue. Because nobody lives on the Channel Islands they don't make very much money from advertising, so they can't be fined as much. :argh:

Rude Dude With Tude fucked around with this message at 11:43 on Sep 7, 2010

# ¿ Sep 7, 2010 11:34

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

SavoyTruffle posted:

Virgin One is Channel One now, apparently. What a brilliant name, well done Sky.

You forgot to mention this:

It looks horrible. As well as being stupid as you'll see on promos when it will say Channel One (Freeview channel 20, Sky channel 121, Virgin Media channel 119).

It's an even worse name than Daybreak, which I admit is growing on me.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2010 11:48

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

SavoyTruffle posted:

Daybreak coincidentally shares its name with an American drama series about a man who is forced to relive the same day over and over, and which was cancelled after six episodes because nobody watched it. Just saying.

Oh like that film with Bill Murray in it, Stripes?

# ¿ Sep 7, 2010 15:23

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Kin posted:

Well in continuing my self hating personality by ploughing through the rest of season 4 of spooks i've noticed one little oddity. All of their news reports are being presented on Sky News. As a BBC show, isn't that a little odd? Or is it like something to do with The Bubble where they didn't want the public to see anything fake ever broadacst on a BBC newscast, whether it was in a self produced TV show or not.

Akuma posted:

Nah it's made by Kudos. They do a lot of shows for the BBC but they're independent. They also do Hustle and Law & Order: UK.

Kudos is a subsidiary of the Shine Group whose group chairman and founder is Elizabeth Murdoch, daughter of Rupert Murdoch. :eng101:

Rude Dude With Tude fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Sep 8, 2010

# ¿ Sep 8, 2010 23:26

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Akuma posted:

Do you know everything there is to know about UK TV? Seriously you could go on Mastermind with that as your subject and you'd ace it.

No, but I've worked for a number of the companies that have been talked about in this and the last thread so.. :ssh:

# ¿ Sep 8, 2010 23:31

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

SNIP!

Rude Dude With Tude fucked around with this message at 10:53 on Sep 9, 2010

# ¿ Sep 9, 2010 10:29

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Commercial radio in the UK is gonna get poo poo(ter)

Financial Times posted:

Global Radio, the UK�s largest commercial radio group, is to take its Capital London station national.

The move will see the Galaxy radio and Hit Music stations subsumed into an enlarged Capital network in order to better compete with BBC Radio 1. The consolidation will open up a new front in Global�s rivalry with the BBC for audience share. Global is already fighting BBC Radio 2 with Heart FM, while Global�s Classic FM is comfortably ahead of its competitor, BBC Radio 3.

�With the launch of the Capital network, there will now be a big national commercial brand seriously competing with Radio 1,� said Ashley Tabor, Global�s founder and chief executive.

The commercial radio sector has long protested against the market dominance of the BBC, with the most recent RAJAR industry figures showing the publicly funded broadcaster captured 54.6 per cent of all UK radio listening in the second quarter of 2010, compared with commercial stations� 43.2 per cent. In the same period, BBC Radio 1 attracted 11.8m listeners a week, compared with Galaxy�s 4.2m and Capital FM�s 1.9m.

By January 2011, the Capital brand will replace the six Galaxy stations across the UK, as well as the Hit Music Network stations Red Dragon, Trent, RAM and Leicester Sound, bringing Capital�s audience to more than 6.3m. Local breakfast and drivetime shows will remain locally produced. The move comes in the wake of Ofcom�s decision to deregulate the market for local radio, allowing stations to reduce the number of hours of locally produced programming and share facilities across regions.

Stephen Miron, chief executive of Global Radio, said the group�s success in taking its Heart brand national � with 7.8m listeners, it is the UK�s most popular commercial station � had inspired the Capital network strategy. �The simplicity of having one brand name, one network and strong locally produced content has worked very effectively with Heart,� Mr Miron said. He denied the decision had been driven by a search for savings. �This is certainly not being done on the basis of cost-cutting. We�re doing this because we believe there�s a massive opportunity to grow our revenues.�

According to documents filed at Companies House, in the 18 months to March 31 2009 Global Radio made a pre-tax loss of �277m on turnover of �216m, hit by a hefty �193.5m impairment, and interest charges of �66m. In May 2009, the company changed its accounting reference date to March 31. On an adjusted basis, in the year to March 31 2009, Global Radio reported earnings before interest, tax, depreciation and amortisation of �31m on turnover of �223m.

Copyright The Financial Times Limited 2010. You may share using our article tools. Please don't cut articles from FT.com and redistribute by email or post to the web.

Holy crap look at those losses they're doing worse than ITV.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2010 20:44

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

SeanBeansShako posted:

I've got a question myself too, I have World War 1 In Colour and I quite enjoy the DVD menu music which is non existent outside the actual DVD. Any way I could take the music from the menu straight from my DVD?

If you've got a mac you can use Audio Hijack to record it - http://www.rogueamoeba.com/audiohijackpro/ - I guess there's a similar program for Windows.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2010 13:54

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

SavoyTruffle posted:

Virgin One is Channel One now, apparently. What a brilliant name, well done Sky.
I found it the other day and it appeared to be a brand new channel inexplicably showing season eight of The X-Files. I didn't realise it was just Virgin One. They bought some pretty good US imports when they started up (The Riches, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia) and showed Seinfeld during the day. I thought it was going to be alright. It's not. It's poo poo.

It's dead now, and so is Bravo -

Media Grauniad posted:

BSkyB is to close Bravo and general entertainment station Channel One, putting more than 50 jobs at risk, as part of the integration of Living TV Group.

BSkyB has decided to focus on the Living TV channel portfolio, which will see a 25% boost to its programming budget, and the gameshow and quiz channel Challenge. Living TV Group, which is home to shows including Grey's Anatomy, Britain's Next Top Model and Sons of Anarchy, currently employs 110 staff. There will be just 58 roles after integration, but it is understood that there are a significant number of positions potentially available in other parts of the BSkyB operation.

BSkyB is understood to have decided to jettison Bravo, which launched as a cable channel in 1985, because it reaches a similar demographic to Sky1 but is not believed to have the same brand equity or reach. BSkyB is backing Living TV because, outside of sport, it is second only to Sky1 in popularity among its basic pay-TV channels. BSkyB has failed to target the female market as successfully as Living TV, which has a two-year deal with Katie Price. Sky closed its own attempt to target a female audience, Sky Real Lives, earlier this year.

It was decided that Channel One, which was rebranded from Virgin 1 in August following BSkyB's acquisition of Living TV Group for �160m in July, was too similar to Sky3, which it sits alongside as a free-to-air channel on Freeview. BSkyB intends to "redeploy" the channels' programming, with pay-TV shows moving to other Sky channels and free-to-air fare mostly moving to Sky3.

Bravo is home to shows including Spartacus, Dog the Bounty Hunter and Sons of Anarchy. Spin-off channel Bravo 2 will also disappear. BSkyB has not said what it intends to do with the channel slot. Challenge will move free-to-air in Channel One's slot, which will effectively double its audience reach, as BSkyB looks to grow its presence in quizzes and gameshows. There are longer-term possibilities of tie-ups with Sky Bet. Staff have been informed of the integration plans this afternoon with all staff, including the Living TV Group managing director, Jonathan Webb, under review.

The review has been carried out by Sophie Turner Laing, the managing director of entertainment, news and broadcast operations at BSkyB. "Content is at the heart of Sky's strategy," she said. "Living is already one of the best pay-TV channels around and is obviously a great fit with our existing channels like Sky1. There is so much potential for further development and we intend to increase on-screen investment in Living by around a quarter as part of our expanded channel portfolio. This is a big part of our plans to bring customers great content from channel brands that really cut through."

BSkyB moved quickly to announce the integration of Living TV Group after being given final clearance by the Office of Fair Trading only yesterday. The Living TV Group integration adds to what is expected to be a major revamp of BSkyB's entertainment programming after the broadcaster struck a five-year �150m deal for the exclusive UK rights to the entire HBO catalogue of shows including The Wire, True Blood and The Sopranos.

I wonder what will go on Channel One's Freeview channel, or if BSkyB will sell it off.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2010 16:34

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Irisi posted:

So here I am, fully prepared for an hours' worth of period drama stodge from ITV in the shape of Downton Abbey. The nights are drawing in, I had chocolate, and Maggie Smith had donned her corsets in order to entertain the nation, oh happy day. (Look, I'm female, I'm allowed to enjoy this sort of thing, okay?)

Except I live in Scotland, where STV -in their infinite wisdon- has decided to show a repeat of some Billy Connelly bollocks from a year ago instead.

This was the one thing ITV has done in the past five years that I have actually wanted to watch. I really do wish they'd all stop playing silly buggers with the programmes in this manner.

Send them an angry email

Viewer Enquiries:
Telephone:
0141 300 3704
E-mail:
yourview@stv.tv

# ¿ Sep 28, 2010 09:48

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

lewi posted:

Spooks: the wrong kind of sun
Edit: they just used Charing Cross tube station as a plot point - it's got so many loving exits and levels and is a generally poo poo station.

Also they said it's got 4 platforms when it's got 6.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2010 17:29

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Oh my! http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/tv-radio/bbc-set-to-film-douglas-adamss-dirk-gently-novel-2098814.html

The Indie posted:

BBC set to film Douglas Adams's Dirk Gently novel

Dirk Gently, the fictional detective created by the late author Douglas Adams, is to be played on screen for the first time by the comic actor Stephen Mangan in a new BBC adaptation, it was announced yesterday. Mangan, who is best known for his role in Green Wing, will star in the BBC4 film alongside Cold Feet star Helen Baxendale. Adams, who created The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, first wrote about the anti-hero in his novel Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency in 1987.

The hard-up and unconventional Gently, who has previously been portrayed by Harry Enfield on Radio 4, runs a detective agency based on the principle that all things are connected. When he sets out to track down a lost cat, he uncovers a double murder. Mangan said: "Dirk is a chaotic, anarchic force of nature with a totally unique take on the world. He is described as 'lazy, untidy, dismissive and unreliable'. I've absolutely no idea why they thought I'd be right for the role."

Shooting began this week in Bristol and the film is expected to be screened in the winter.

This could be good. Or awful. Hopefully it'll be good.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2010 14:14

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

A new series of Reggie Perrin starts on Thursday :eng101:

# ¿ Oct 7, 2010 23:34

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

An0 posted:

Is anybody else getting a weird bug where the sound doubles on the iplayer ?

I've had that! Turning it off and on again helps.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2010 12:12

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Normally the ending is more, er, cliffhanger-ey.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2010 15:33

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

reality_groove posted:

Apparently a maternity nurse from the One Born Every Minute Xmas special is giving the alternative christmas message on Channel 4. Dappy's either doing one on T4 or E4 or something like that.

Still, either is better than Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Oi.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2010 13:56

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Frankie Boyle isn't a good comedian when he's not reacting to other people, because shouting pedophile or oval office or rape aren't punchlines. After bailing out from Mock the Week and complaining the BBC were holding him back, he then gets his own programme on another channel, where in the series premiere he covers such up-to-date topics as the Winter Olympics, which happened 11 months ago, the John Leslie sexual assault allegations, which happened 7 years ago, The Green Mile which was released in 1999 and then recycles material from the programme that was "holding him back".

He's poo poo.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2010 16:43

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

I couldn't find an active thread for The Daily Show, but, poo poo.

Media Guardian posted:

More4 is cutting back from five editions of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart per week to just one.

From next month Channel 4's digital service will only air The Daily Show Global Edition on Mondays, marking an end to the five-year deal which began with More4's launch in 2005. More4 broadcasts the daily edition of the irreverent US current affairs show on Tuesday to Friday evenings at 8.30pm, with the Global Edition on Monday evenings.

A Channel 4 spokeswoman said: "More4 will continue to show The Daily Show Global Edition on Monday nights in the new year, so viewers will still have the opportunity to see the best of Jon Stewart's Daily Show in the UK." Broadcast in the US on cable channel Comedy Central, Stewart's satirical news programme attracts an average of between 60,000 and 90,000 viewers in the UK.

More4 bought the US version of Shameless in August, as it moved to bolster its roster of "high-end American programming". The money recouped from reducing transmissions of The Daily Show should allow the broadcaster more room to invest in arts programming, such as the True Stories documentary strand, to which it signalled a commitment earlier this year.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2010 20:48

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Brown Moses posted:

The first Top Gear special on BBC 2 tonight at 8pm.

Except for people in Northern Ireland and Wales. You've got to wait until Saturday.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2010 16:42

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Really? gently caress the BBC website for lying to me: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00x2pq7

quote:

NEXT ON:
Today, 20:00 on BBC Two (except Northern Ireland (Analogue), Wales (Analogue))

Oh wait if you've got freeview then it's all cool, my bad.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2010 20:40

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Cichlid the Loach posted:

Well, like... who was on it?

Also, the latest in A2A: "You're looking chirpy, Bolls. Been sitting on the washing machine again?" First line since LoM to make me laugh out loud.

Some yokels from.. virginia? I think they were still in virginia.

Also if I may cast my gaze towards Vincent loving it up for everyone, essentially he's had his department cut back because he said he'd try to gently caress over News Corp buying the 60% of BSkyB they don't already own. There was no problem with him doing that, but now he's said he wanted to do it obviously he's shown bias in proceedings which are supposed to be impartial. ITV are having a dig at Vince because BSkyB still owns a 7.5% share in them, and the decision over whether or not BSkyB can be bought entirely by News Corp now rests with the head of the Department for Culture, Media and Sport, Jeremy Hunt. Who is, of course, an entirely impartial conservative MP.

Jeremy Hunt posted:

"The important thing is not whether a particular owner owns another TV channel but to make sure you have a variety of owners with a variety of TV channels so that no one owner has a dominant position both commercially and politically. Rather than worry about Rupert Murdoch owning another TV channel, what we should recognise is that he has probably done more to create variety and choice in British TV than any other single person because of his huge investment in setting up Sky TV which, at one point, was losing several million pounds a day. We would be the poorer and wouldn't be saying that British TV is the envy of the world if it hadn't been for him being prepared to take that commercial risk. We need to encourage that kind of investment."

# ¿ Dec 22, 2010 01:01

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

I think Come Fly With Me would be better if Lucas & Walliams had hired a cast rather than playing all the parts themselves. Plus I'm quite sure that blacking up and acting out stereotypes really isn't the done thing nowadays.

# ¿ Dec 25, 2010 23:25

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Shakespearean Beef posted:

charlie brooker redeems christmas

# ¿ Dec 28, 2010 00:18

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Live from Studio Five has been cancelled, to the surprise of absolutely nobody. Also, new branding!

# ¿ Jan 19, 2011 15:18

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Psybro posted:

The director did a feature film called Bunny and the Bull which was really good and showed what he could do with his own script but nobody saw it except me, my housemate and the two other people in Cineworld at 11 on that Friday evening.

Hey hey hey I saw Bunny and the Bull too! It was weird.

Sentinel Red posted:

They should just appreciate the fact it's the 21st Century and relaunch with this:

YESSSSSSS also the new Channel 5 will still be poo poo because they're replacing Live from Studio Five with OK!TV (so, more poo poo from Dirty Des then).

It also means that OK!TV will count as news for Channel 5's public service remit :ughh:

# ¿ Jan 19, 2011 23:40

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Yep.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2011 00:00

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

quote:

MTV buffs up Jersey Shore for UK as Geordie Shore

It is the most popular show US music cable network MTV has ever had. Now the broadcaster is bringing its hit reality show Jersey Shore, in which eight impeccably groomed twentysomethings share a beach house on New Jersey's Atlantic coast, to the UK. The twist is that it will be based in Newcastle and renamed ... Geordie Shore.

MTV said it chose to base the series in the north-east because its residents know how to have a good time come rain or shine. "Jersey Shore is set in the summer and it is always summer in the north-east," said Kerry Taylor, the director of television for MTV Networks UK and Ireland. "No one wears a coat and Geordie girls are always out in their miniskirts."

The original US incarnation, which began in 2009, quickly became a cultural phenomenon and returned for its third series with 8.4 million viewers earlier this month. But it was not to everyone's tastes � one Guardian writer described it as making "Big Brother look like Dostoyevsky" � and it caused controversy after it was accused of stereotyping Italian-Americans. The UK version of the show will be made by Liverpool-based Lime Pictures, producer of another teen reality show, The Only Way Is Essex, which was a hit for digital channel ITV2 last year, and Channel 4 soap Hollyoaks.

Taylor said it would be "loosely based on the American show". "The things we are taking away is the great cast � memorable characters who are funny and brash but at the same time warm and get on with each other," she added. Fiona O'Sullivan, the head of factual at Lime Pictures, added: "We've already found some perfect characters to bring Geordie Shore to life and can't wait to get filming on what we believe will become the next big, must-watch, reality show." Geordie Shore will air on MTV in the UK in late spring or early summer.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2011 21:34

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Kin posted:

Ahahah, most ironic thing of the month.

The best bit is they are both based on Great Portland Street, so keep getting each other's post.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2011 02:08

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

I'm guessing one of their producers will get it in the neck but knowing management they'll cover their backs and it'll probably be blamed on an AP/other jr staff.

:sigh:

Rude Dude With Tude fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Feb 7, 2011

# ¿ Feb 7, 2011 17:31

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Ddraig posted:

And Barry Shitpeas

Such an understated genius.

Hey man sometimes the director's just gotta direct.

Also the second episode of Outcasts was better because they got rid of that loving kid banging on about tigers.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2011 14:46

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Integrated press, the worst press;

quote:

The launch of Richard Desmond's OK! TV show, a spin-off from his weekly celebrity magazine, on Channel 5 last night was heralded by a promotional extravaganza. Unsurprisingly, today's Daily Express and Daily Star � also owned by Desmond, lest we forget � continue the theme. Indeed, both feature pictures of the man himself alongside presenters Kate Walsh and Matt Johnson. However, their claim that the show "got off to a flying start" seems slightly out of step with the rest of the press � "colossally vapid" is the Guardian's conclusion.

quote:

OK! TV. It's neither: Channel 5's new show aims low and misses
The TV spin-off from Richard Desmond's celebrity magazine is colossally vapid

There are launches, soft launches and deliberately comprehensive exercises in expectation-lowering. Tonight's launch of Channel 5's OK! TV fell into the last category. The show it replaced, the justifiably maligned Live From Studio Five, was an inept mishmash that seemed to prove conclusively Channel 5 could not be trusted with another daily light entertainment show.

To make matters worse, the original host chose to extract herself from the show last week: Denise van Outen � narrator of The Only Way Is Essex and star of the forgotten 1999 Abba tribute album ABBAmania � apparently decided that OK! TV would be an unconscionable blot on her CV. There may have been worse portents of quality than this, but not many.

The show itself exists to answer a question that nobody has ever asked: what would OK! magazine be like if it was a Channel 5 television programme scheduled against One Man and His Campervan?

It turns out that the answer is a remedial-level One Show or, to be more precise, Live From Studio Five. Yes, there are a few differences between the old show and the new � the set is a different colour, for one. But it even has the same host as its predecessor, Kate Walsh.

Walsh got the job only three days ago, but she did the best with what she was given. This is either because she's a consummate professional, or because she's basically hosting the exact same show as she was a fortnight ago. It's hard to tell.

OK! TV technically counts towards Channel 5's news quota, so episode one was loaded with plenty of current affairs. This included the news that Helena Bonham Carter wore matching shoes to the Baftas and that Kate Middleton apparently might want to buy a new dress quite soon. Elsewhere Louis Walsh got to talk about his holiday (Miami, he read lots of books) and Jenson Button presented a report about Valentine's Day while doing a fairly convincing impression of a man awaiting the sweet release of death.

Obviously a teatime television show based on a celebrity magazine will never be Newsnight, but even judged against its peers, OK! TV is colossally vapid.

It is hard to know who it is aimed at. Actual people do not seem quite lowest common denominator enough. Animals? Sock puppets? Piles of dust? Either way, it doesn't bode well for Richard Desmond's next attempt to synergise his properties.

Things might improve with time. If they don't, Channel 5 should consider a name change for the show. It might be called OK! TV, but right now it barely qualifies as either.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2011 13:05

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

For anyone else who went "I know this loving music!" during the start, I realised what it was; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lAfMT5FIZE&t=0m22s

# ¿ Feb 16, 2011 01:10

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Yeah audience companies (Applause Store/SRO) don't give a gently caress because they know they can always fill seats, especially with programmes like QI that are really popular.

ninja: Also I guess it doesn't help that Pointless and QI re shot at different studios by different production companies, whom both have different requirements for audience being there or not. Basically it sucks.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2011 01:58

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Uncertain Frog posted:

How are BBC 3 still getting away with that horrible youth production style? I can't think of a single demographic it will actually appeal to and it reminds me of that horrible time during the 90's where every channel thought it would be cool to get awkward spotty teenagers who have been on TV before to present programs which almost always consisted of "You don't like young people do you Mr Politician? ... Here's Kula Shaker!"

Hey hey hey don't knock kula shaker!

I don't know how that production style has managed to keep around, I worked on a show for Living once and the notes came back that it needed to be more up-tempo, so it ended up constantly having music the entire way through. When I saw the final offline cut it was one of the most infuriating things I've ever seen/heard.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2011 11:34

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

DaWolfey posted:

Then Carr goes "al-Qeada are calling the Royal Wedding Christmas LOL" and the audience falls about laughing.

I can't begin to imagine the amount of frantic arm waving that the Floor Manager must be doing...

# ¿ Feb 27, 2011 20:21

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

For sale; One 24hr news channel obsessed with 'swoosh' noises & presenters with complexions that resemble Chesterfield sofas. http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/robertpeston/2011/03/murdochs_offer_to_sell_sky_new.html

Pesto posted:

Murdoch's offer to sell Sky News

News Corporation has offered to sell Sky News and also subsidise the channel for years, to allay concerns about News Corp's planned takeover of all of British Sky Broadcasting.

As a result News Corp is likely to get the green light for the takeover from Jeremy Hunt, the Culture Secretary, possibly as soon as tomorrow. One of Jeremy Hunt's close colleagues insisted he has not yet made the formal decision to approve News Corp's �7.5bn bid to buy the 61% of BSkyB it doesn't already own, but didn't rule out that Mr Hunt could do so within hours.

If Mr Hunt allows the bid to proceed, which is what I expect, some will see that as a u-turn, because on 25 January he said he was intending to follow the advice of the media regulator, Ofcom, and refer the planned takeover to the Competition Commission for further scrutiny. Since then, however, Rupert Murdoch's News Corp has made a proposal designed to remedy the harm identified by Ofcom from the deal.

Ofcom was concerned that the combination of News Corp's market-leading newspapers with BSkyB's 24-hour rolling news channel, Sky News, would reduce plurality or choice of news for citizens.

So in what News Corp sees as a significant concession and sacrifice, it has offered to sell Sky News. And because Sky News is lossmaking - to the tune of more than �20m a year according to sources - it has also offered to in effect cover the costs of Sky News for many years through a long-term contract. Bankers tell me that with such a long term contract in place from BSkyB, Sky News is capable of being sold. In making his announcement, Mr Hunt would initiate a 15 day period of public consultation.

Critics of the takeover, which include news organisations such as the Telegraph Group and DMGT, owner of the Daily Mail, would complain that News Corporation will become far too powerful a player in the UK media market, if it is able to combine its newspapers (which include the Sun, Times and Sunday Times) with BSkyB's huge, cash-generating broadcasting business. These opponents of the deal have a problem however, in that their arguments are largely about the impact on competition, not plurality or choice, and the European Commission has already ruled that the combination of Sky and News Corp would not have an adverse impact on competition.

That said, the decision by Mr Hunt to allow the takeover to proceed does not mean the deal will definitely go through - because it is not certain that News Corporation will offer a high enough price to persuade the independent directors of BSkyB to recommend the offer or to persuade shareholders in BSkyB to sell.

Last June, News Corp said it would pay 700p for each BSkyB share, valuing the 61% of the business it doesn't own at �7.5bn. That was rejected by BSkyB's directors, who said that they wanted more than 800p per share, or around �1bn more in total. BSkyB's operations have performed well since then, so it is widely thought in the City that BSkyB's independent directors will now be demanding nearer 850p per share.

It is by no means certain that News Corp - whose BSkyB ambitions are being run by James Murdoch, who runs News Corp's European and Asian operations - will offer as much as that.

UPDATE 21:40

If, as the FT reports, what has been proposed by News Corp is a demerger of Sky News to BSkyB's existing shareholders, which include News Corp with 39 per cent, that represents the sale by News Corp of 61 per cent (a majority) of Sky News (on the assumption that News Corp ends up owning all of BSkyB, which is by no means certain).

UPDATE 22:00

The idea of demerging Sky News to BSkyB's existing shareholders is a neat regulatory fix, because in theory that can be seen as representing no change in the relationship between News Corp and Sky News.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2011 08:55

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

A5H posted:

Did anyone dare to watch 'omg with peaches geldof'? I was just flicking through the channels and saw this weeks was about furries. Jesus christ. I'd watch it as I imagine it's pretty funny/sad, but I can't stand that stupid bitch.

It's a loving abomination. Geldof is a poo poo host and sounds thoroughly bored at the whole thing, the other ensemble of presenters just about hold it together but can't hide the fact that they don't like what they're doing. Although the irony of Peaches Geldof fronting a show which had an item on fame and people being famous for gently caress all did get a little grin out of me.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2011 13:56

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

So I've not seen anything about Campus other than the ads, it's made by the same team that did Green Wing and starts later this week on Channel 4, so should be worth a look. I'm all excited about it because I loved me some Green Wing.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2011 14:26

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 09:21

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

SeanBeansShako posted:

It is pretty exploitive and the worst people ever make money from it.

Aww, thanks!

# ¿ Apr 7, 2011 16:35

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > [UK] The Great British programme discussion: Piers Morgan Memorial Pier

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