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screenwritersblues posted:Thanks for the input. I was thinking about doing character notes and loose ideas over the next couple of months, just so I can get to the point where I can just sit down and write the pilot. I was thinking of writing the bible just to keep my ideas organized and the character descriptions together. I have been working with a producer on a show and the bible really just shows interested parties that you have thought about the future of the show. The real bible will be done once there is actual interest. We, my writing partner and I, have done about 6 drafts of the bible; most of the fixes were just cuts. It is hard to cut your brilliance, I know, but it must be done. A friend of mine, who videotapes weddings for a living, always makes the joke, "This is demo poo poo, right here." Meaning that he got a shot so good it will go on the demo reel for potential brides to see. I look at the bible the same way, you only want the best. We also have a longer bible going for ourselves, but the first bible is really just a pitch more than anything. As for a script, it depends. For one of the shows, we wrote what would have been a self-contained episode, what we kept calling Episode 13. NOT the pilot. Pilot episodes are often bulky with exposition. A simple bible will introduce the characters and the sample episode should already have them flushed out. BUT, there is a show I am working on that I plan to shoot myself. For this, you want it to be the pilot episode. That way you can walk into a meeting and say, it is ready to go. This would work better with a low-budget comedy or a web-series. Also, always have more than one show to pitch. Someone might like you and your writing talent but not your idea.
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Dec 8, 2010 18:09
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wafflesnsegways posted:But if I'm trying to sandwich in an hour of writing before I have to go to work, it's not going to happen. Writing before work is a hell of a lot easier than writing after work. Set your alarm clock to the time you know you have to stop writing and get your rear end out the door, then turn the clockface to the wall and fuckin' go. If you write after work, you're going to be carrying all the day's obstacles and frustrations with you to your desk. I dunno about anyone else, but I love using recipe/cue cards. No intimidating blank screen. Just a little piece of paper that fills up fast.
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Dec 8, 2010 19:39
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Yeah, notecards will save your life. It's so much easier to just throw those out or ignore them than it is to delete pages.
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Dec 8, 2010 21:54
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Could anyone cast an eye over this short film screenplay and give me some tips? I usually write silly comedy nonsense, this is the first time I've tried to grow up and do things subtly and with some depth. No preamble or explanation, because I think the biggest problem is getting people to understand the underlying story I'm trying to imply.
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Dec 9, 2010 19:58
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George Kaplan posted:Could anyone cast an eye over this short film screenplay and give me some tips? I actually liked it. Careful at the beginning, a man walking can get really boring, really fast. Just establish that he knows he is lost and move on. The dialogue is a little hackneyed, but it is nothing that a few rehearsals with trained actors wouldn't help. Have them play around as their characters see if anything good comes up. I like the tension and it builds nicely. Name "The Man" you don't ever have to say it in dialogue, but he is your main character, give him some definition. I don't know if you plan on making this, but Zeppelin rights are hard to come by. You might want to rewrite it have them talk about/play something else. Edit: I was thinking, maybe you want to throw in a few presumptions that The Man has about Sonny. Like Sonny could offer to help him find his way and the man says "I don't have any money." Assuming Sonny wants cash. Sonny could even buy the beers. he could everything to make the guy drop his guard and still the guy takes off. York_M_Chan fucked around with this message at 23:45 on Dec 9, 2010 |
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Dec 9, 2010 23:40
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Thanks, man. I'll work on it - I definitely lengthened the start recently because we weren't getting his character down quick enough, so I'll see if I can speed it up a bit.York_M_Chan posted:The dialogue is a little hackneyed This is totally true, but it makes me smile, because the worst lines are probably the ones I've recalled verbatim from the guy that inspired Sonny! Edit: Good call on the suggestions! Will probably work more of a "ohshitI'mgoingtogetmugged" reaction in near the start. I don't want to go overboard with it - I want there to be a feel at the start like maybe the guy has some reason to be scared, and break it down slowly as it goes on. George Kaplan fucked around with this message at 00:03 on Dec 10, 2010 |
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Dec 10, 2010 00:01
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George Kaplan posted:
In my opinion, this is the worst thing that a writer can do. Basically, because your audience wasn't there when you met "Sonny" and we weren't in your mindset. Usually, what I do, is use the dialogue that inspired the scene as a stepping off point to frame the character and end up cutting it around the 3rd draft and replacing it with dialogue more conducive to the theme. I have the same feeling about guy who think their friends are really funny and decides to make the film where they "just turn the camera on and let my friends go."
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Dec 10, 2010 17:22
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When an actor gets into a role, though, they can really improve it. In my stage play, my director's favorite phrase was "keep it in", which adds a TON of laughs to lines that were really just bridges.
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Dec 13, 2010 06:56
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Golden Bee posted:When an actor gets into a role, though, they can really improve it. In my stage play, my director's favorite phrase was "keep it in", which adds a TON of laughs to lines that were really just bridges. Because certainly, this is the sign of a script that could be polished no further.
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Dec 13, 2010 08:19
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godzilla hentai fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Dec 20, 2012 |
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Dec 13, 2010 16:46
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York_M_Chan posted:In my opinion, this is the worst thing that a writer can do. Basically, because your audience wasn't there when you met "Sonny" and we weren't in your mindset. Usually, what I do, is use the dialogue that inspired the scene as a stepping off point to frame the character and end up cutting it around the 3rd draft and replacing it with dialogue more conducive to the theme. Yup. In fact, whatever line/scene/moment originally inspired me to write something usually ends up cut the first time I read it through. York_M_Chan posted:I have the same feeling about guy who think their friends are really funny and decides to make the film where they "just turn the camera on and let my friends go." Apparently Kanye West tried to make his own version of Curb Your Enthusiasm that was basically this. I hear it's spectacularly bad.
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Dec 13, 2010 18:32
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Culdesac, have you seen the movie "Big Fat Liar?" If not, send me your script and I will make a lot of money off of it. Finish the pilot, that's your next step. Make a proof of concept video or trailer. Those are your immediate next steps.
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Dec 15, 2010 08:00
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Anyone know of some worthwhile screenwriting classes or programs in the West LA area?
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Dec 15, 2010 18:01
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I took a class at UCLA extension. It was OK, but it was basically a writers group, and I'm not sure it was worth the money.
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Dec 15, 2010 18:28
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culdesac posted:I honestly just have no idea how this part of the business works and any insight would be appreciated. Is it ridiculous to assume that this can get anywhere right now without the 2 of us having any clout in the industry? Yep. Golden Bee posted:Finish the pilot, that's your next step. Make a proof of concept video or trailer. Those are your immediate next steps. This. Be patient. Meet people. And when someone finally does open a door for you and says "what are you working on?" have it ready. Don't mail it to networks. For legal reasons, pretty much all networks do not read/accept unsolicited material. If you're worried about anyone stealing the idea, you can and should register the script with the WGA (you do not have to be a member of the WGA to do this). Or, for like $35, you can get an honest-to-goodness copyright from the government. As far as working in the industry goes, I started an Ask/Tell thread about my experience in the industry so far. I'm still just a PA for now, but there might be some stuff worth reading in there.
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Dec 17, 2010 03:14
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godzilla hentai fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Dec 20, 2012 |
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Dec 18, 2010 03:21
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wafflesnsegways posted:Yup. In fact, whatever line/scene/moment originally inspired me to write something usually ends up cut the first time I read it through. I can appreciate that. Some parts of writing this have been tougher than expected. I got some great response from the first draft:  So what's happening in the end? Well, the main character turns out to be racist. Did you write this yourself? Yes, why? Does he not come off that way? No, but you do. Here it is with a few minor changes. I perhaps ought to be more ruthless, but its getting a good response as-is.
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Dec 18, 2010 22:17
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I just recently finished a screenplay I've been working on for the past year, and would love to hear what a few goons have to say about it. I'll e-mail it to anyone who is interested. Title: 'Modern Villain' Three men journey through life and death. It's about ghosts.
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Dec 24, 2010 04:33
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modern villian posted:I just recently finished a screenplay I've been working on for the past year, and would love to hear what a few goons have to say about it. I'll e-mail it to anyone who is interested. I like ghosts. Shoot an email to my username at gmail.
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Dec 24, 2010 23:02
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modern villian posted:I just recently finished a screenplay I've been working on for the past year, and would love to hear what a few goons have to say about it. I'll e-mail it to anyone who is interested. I'll give it a go. weirdnjfan1@gmail.com I'll give you some feedback also. Also, just started writing a new treatment, mainly because of he fact that I had this idea and decided to run with it. Will be doing updates, mainly because of the fact that I write long detailed treatments that plan out everything in the scenes and also in the movie.
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Dec 27, 2010 02:48
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Hey, look at me, ripping off George Furth again! So last year I wrote and directed a five-minute reverse-chronology short film, and I'm taking the class again and I thought I'd give that idea another shot. This time I'm being a little more ambitious, and I'm planning to use this for the longer 12-minute project. We're Gonna Be All Right The script runs backwards from January 26, 2011 to March 19, 2009, following the relationship of Amy and Paul from when they first move in together to when they finally move out (or vice versa). Backwards scripts are difficult because the idea is usually to end on an ironic or retrospectively bitter note, and the tough part is making the second half interesting, because instead of building up to a big confrontation it's flipped around, so the heavy dramatic scenes are usually all at the front and you have to find a way to give weight to the final, optimistic scenes, which have to otherwise rest entirely on their dramatic irony. I hope I've succeeded here.
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Jan 6, 2011 00:06
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Ooh, screenplay thread, just what I needed. SA is amazing. So, here's the situation. A friend of my friend approached him with an idea for a screenplay, but having no experience, asked him to write it for him. My friend declined, not having enough free time for such an endeavour, but pointed this person in my direction, saying I was very good, and could possibly help. We sat down, I was told their very vague idea (really, a concept of basically a few lines), and I said I could do it. They work in the movie industry, and know producers and the like, so it getting made is a distinct possibility. I did a storyline, created characters, a treatment. They liked it, and asked me to do a first draft. I did, they asked for a second with some changes they wanted. I put in changes, added bits here and there as needed, and emailed it off just before Christmas. I just got an email saying this: quote:So it's time to copy write the script and we need to talk about credit. [My partner] and I have done some changes. It's mostly building on the structure that you gave us but we had to beef it up and change somethings around. The version I'm sending to you is the version we are getting copy written. As you can see we've done a lot work on it. I don't want you to take the changes as an insult to you. You gave us a really great script, but I think it's hard for writers to make major changes to there work. I think you're going to like the changes. But because we've put so much work in I want to copy write it with the following credits: Up till now, the 'written by' was just my name. They never told me when I handed in the 2nd draft they were going to go over it themselves. If they'd said 'we need these bits fixed, kill this guy, add this stuff', I'd have done it happily. I'm not happy with the rewrite they've done without my say so, and the fact they just expect me to be OK with this. I can't help but feel I've been hosed over somewhat.
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Jan 9, 2011 23:03
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Welcome to Hollywood. You got off light.
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Jan 9, 2011 23:50
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This is a TV pilot I wrote a while back but haven't touched since. It placed in a few contests, and made semi-finals in another. I never really got any feedback on it, so I'd be interested to see what people think. I'm planning on doing a complete rewrite, or possibly even a complete overhaul, if that's what's needed, and submitting it to some contests this year. Perfectly Frank (PDF)
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Jan 10, 2011 01:37
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The_Doctor posted:Up till now, the 'written by' was just my name. They never told me when I handed in the 2nd draft they were going to go over it themselves. If they'd said 'we need these bits fixed, kill this guy, add this stuff', I'd have done it happily. If it was your original idea then I would say you should be upset, but this is their idea. Yeah, you did the legwork, but if they did in fact make changes, even if you are unhappy with them, then I don't think there is much you can do. I was in the exact same position a while back. I wrote the film based on the company's idea. At the premier, during the credits, I saw that there were 2 other writers listed. The material was still 90% mine and most of my favorite parts were changed. Alas, I had to get over it. It was never really "my" project to begin with. They also spelled my name wrong which I don't mind too much because the film was awful. I decided not to write for anyone after that. I have lost work because of it, at some point you have to decide what type of writer you are. My writing partner, on the other hand, just wants to sell his drafts and be done with them. He doesn't care how much they change it. Obviously, we butt heads a lot on that, which actually leads to better material.
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Jan 10, 2011 17:47
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Magic Hate Ball posted:Hey, look at me, ripping off George Furth again! So last year I wrote and directed a five-minute reverse-chronology short film, and I'm taking the class again and I thought I'd give that idea another shot. This time I'm being a little more ambitious, and I'm planning to use this for the longer 12-minute project. Watched the film and read the script. I really don't see a reason for doing reverse chronology with these two stories. With your script, it's not even like the male character is reminiscing backwards about how the relationship de-evolved, because there are things that the audience sees that he doesn't. Also, it's tedious as the viewer to try to piece together the different dates and times. If you were set on doing this, maybe you could find a way to really show a distinct change over time? Perhaps change the tone, color, lighting, etc of your film from the dark brooding times in the beginning to the beautiful flowering sunny ending. So start it in almost black and white, then gradually turn up the saturation and colors until the ending? Doing it that way, you might even be able to do away with displaying the dates and times up on the screen every scene.
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Jan 10, 2011 20:52
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George Kaplan posted:Here it is with a few minor changes. I perhaps ought to be more ruthless, but its getting a good response as-is. Yeah I'm not getting that Andy is racist. Sure he might owe it to Sonny to continue their friendship or be frank that he doesn't want to ever visit the neighborhood again. But I think he's allowed to not like a place he perceives as dangerous or even the strange "nice" man who took him into an alley to practice fighting. There's also a buildup of camaraderie that never pays off. Maybe Sonny could risk his own safety on Andy's behalf? That would make the ending snub a lot more poignant.
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Jan 10, 2011 21:12
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Get your contracts ahead of time and UNDERSTAND them.
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Jan 10, 2011 21:21
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Jalumibnkrayal posted:Watched the film and read the script. I really don't see a reason for doing reverse chronology with these two stories. With your script, it's not even like the male character is reminiscing backwards about how the relationship de-evolved, because there are things that the audience sees that he doesn't. Also, it's tedious as the viewer to try to piece together the different dates and times. It's admittedly a gimmick. I really adore films where you have to piece things together (such as connecting the dots between the dream and reality segments of Mulholland Drive) and I've always been a fan of the reverse chronology concept because it presents such interesting possibilities for narrative puzzles. Unfortunately most people see it only gimmick and don't enjoy narrative puzzles as much as I do so maybe I'm totally misguided here. Did you percieve Paul to be the main character? I thought the focus was far more on Amy, though she doesn't do much besides be subjected to Paul's downward spiral, and maybe emphasis should be put on her and how she changes from a romantic girl to a fairly headstrong woman. I'd certainly rather have the audience's focus on her, in any case. Jalumibnkrayal posted:If you were set on doing this, maybe you could find a way to really show a distinct change over time? Perhaps change the tone, color, lighting, etc of your film from the dark brooding times in the beginning to the beautiful flowering sunny ending. So start it in almost black and white, then gradually turn up the saturation and colors until the ending? Doing it that way, you might even be able to do away with displaying the dates and times up on the screen every scene. The plan is to, as the film progresses, change from a realistic style, with a more naturally-lit and even grainy look and an observant, almost intrusive camera to a more removed, romantic style, with stronger, more cinematic lighting and camera moves. As an example, the first scene would play with a dolly shot, but it would be done in a clinical, almost Kubrickian way, moving backwards down the hall as she comes in and turning to look in as she goes for the box, and then ending on a high angle of her on the floor, whereas later dolly shots would be more musical, such as during the Valentine's scene, which would open with their glasses clinking in close-up and then moving out, like the beginning of a Lubitsch number. Certainly saturation would play in. I'd keep the interstitial texts, though, because I have a raging boner for those (except I might insert "X MONTHS EARLIER" because that's easier for people to process than specific dates; when You're Gonna Love Tomorrow was shown in my film class one guy thought it all took place on the same day). I've actually done a few more drafts on the script (it ends again in the bare apartment, this time they're moving in). Thanks for the feedback, though, it's nice to know where I should be directing my attention. Magic Hate Ball fucked around with this message at 04:23 on Jan 11, 2011 |
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Jan 11, 2011 03:01
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I think it's pretty funny that people say "aspring screenwriter" as well. I mean, I don't have anything published or anything but I recently finished my 8th feature length screenplay draft since 2004. I can't speak for the quality of them (I was 15 in 2004) but that's a better alternative than just vague "I got this idea for a movie". I have a lot of trouble with rewrites though. I haven't finished a second draft of any of my works.
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Jan 12, 2011 00:34
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The_Doctor posted:Up till now, the 'written by' was just my name. They never told me when I handed in the 2nd draft they were going to go over it themselves. If they'd said 'we need these bits fixed, kill this guy, add this stuff', I'd have done it happily. "Screenplay by," "Story by," and "Based on a concept by" are all different credits. Since it sounds like you worked a lot on the story itself (especially if you hashed it out from just a few sentences), you should fight for a "story by" credit as well as "Screenplay by." They can keep "based on a concept." Suggest this: Screenplay by: The_Doctor, writer 1, writer 2 Story by: The_Doctor, writer 1, writer 2 Based on a concept by: writer 1, writer 2 If they changed more than half of your words, then I don't know if they actually have to keep your name on "screenplay by." Check the official WGA Screen Credits Manual for more. But, as usual, on ANY project, GET poo poo IN WRITING. Especially if you're writing someone else's stuff.
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Jan 12, 2011 03:30
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I've been writing fiction for about as long as I can remember and in the last year and a half I've made the transition into writing screenplays. So far I have two completed and one that I've just finished the first act of. I've tried several different methods for writing and I have found that for me, it is absolutely imperative that I start with an outline of every scene or conflict that I want to be in my script. So far I've encountered two different methods for doing this. The first is called "Boarding" and can be read about in Blake Snyder's screen writing tutorial, "Save the Cat." If you are just beginning to get into screen writing, I highly recommend this book. It's inexpensive and indispensable. It teaches you everything you've ever wanted to know about dramatic writing and three act structure. But for those who won't want to buy the book, here's the technique: 1) get a bulletin board and divide it into 4 rows. 2) get forty index cards 3) On each index card write a one sentence description of the conflict in the scene with respect to how it moves your plot forward. 4) fill in the bulletin board chronologically, ten cards per row. The benefit of this technique is that it lets you visualize the pacing of your film. In theory, the break between lines one and two is the beginning of the second act. Between two and three is your midpoint. Three and four is the beginning of your third act. The second technique is called a step outline, which is very similar to boarding, but far less visual and tactile. In a step outline, you write a one sentence description of each "step" of your script. The idea being that a step is more or less a scene/conflict/beat/setting. The words aren't completely interchangeable, but for the most part they are. Each step is a simple one sentence description, but it bears in mind the idea of "dramatic conflict." One thing that a lot of beginning screenwriters tend to do is read that they need conflict in every scene and end up writing a series of whiny arguments that don't accomplish anything. The idea of "dramatic conflict" is that a character must be trying to persuade another to *DO* something. An example might be "Bob persuades his boss to let him go home early." Once you have a list of ~30-40 steps that tell your story from open to close, you're ready to start writing. For me, a lot of writing is done before I even write "Fade In." I second the notion of just writing every day, regardless of what it is. Really, the craft that we are all trying to hone isn't screen writing, but story telling. Screen writing is just one medium of story telling with it's own set of rules and format. I also recommend reading every day. Yesterday I read the script to "Chinatown" and two days ago I was reading "Oedipus Rex." You can learn so much from reading other great works and watching great movies.
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Jan 13, 2011 11:20
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That's pretty interesting, StalinsHelper, though I can't say I share the same philosophy. For me personally, your technique is something better suited to a second draft. I write the first draft with my emotions guiding me. I believe it leads to a more sincere and expressive product. I create a character/s and a basic theme or idea and let it go where it takes me as it does. Most might see this as sloppy, but like I said, that's what the second draft is for. Trust your feeling first, then use your head for the pacing later.
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Jan 16, 2011 01:18
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I sometimes like writing exercise scenes with my characters, separate from the story. Doing scenes from the characters past lets me free associate without worrying about it, and helps nail down the voices and attitudes and backstory. I don't do that nearly enough, in fact.
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Jan 16, 2011 03:34
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I'd say you start with a concept, always. What or who is this play about? As you write, you'll find one character speaks to you a lot. For example, when I came up with the rogues gallery for the #1 Girl's Detective Agency, it made it much easier to craft the mystery. After that, I revised how I revealed the mystery, and then moved some of the events of the pre-story into the play itself. As opposed to my children's play, which I talked out beat-by-beat, scene by scene before I sat down and wrote it. Both I'm really happy with.
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Jan 16, 2011 07:33
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culdesac posted:We have our seasons mostly planned out as four six episode seasons with 20-30 minute episodes. We have a pilot episode mostly written but we need to rewrite a lot of it because we decided some character traits weren't working recently and some of the dialogue hasn't held up on subsequent rereads. Find the channel that would air your show. Watch shows that air on that channel that have the same sort of structure. Write pilot so it fits that structure. For example, South Park episodes are 3 acts of 6-7 minutes each (unless something changed in the past couple of years?). Act I - break - Act 2 - break - Act 3- credits. Then potential producers or, say, a broadcast development office, can see how the little hook at the end of Act 1 will keep viewers tuned in through the commercial breaks...and that you understand that shows have commercial breaks and ad revenue is pretty rad, and stuff like that. Read up on TV script format and conventions, download some scripts, make sure you look like you know what you're doing. If you find a channel that you think would air your show, check the submissions information on their website. With all this stuff in mind, it should be easier for you to write that pilot all the kids are telling you to write. PS. Anyone know of a website that's like a directory for script competitions? e: I dunno about the 4 six episode seasons thing, though. Seasons tend to run 12-26 episodes, no? e2: Internet Movie Script Database is fun for all ages. You can't download the scripts, but it looks like you can highlight, then copy/paste into a word processor if you like. Hellwuzzat fucked around with this message at 20:46 on Jan 17, 2011 |
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Jan 17, 2011 07:22
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I wrote a screenplay for a short film last summer that I based on my work experiences. The working title is Outside. It's about a guy freshly released from prison on his train home. If anyone is interested in looking it over, I'd be very thankful.
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Jan 19, 2011 01:04
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Hellwuzzat posted:If you find a channel that you think would air your show, check the submissions information on their website. You would be hard pressed to find a network that accepts unsolicited scripts. Hellwuzzat posted:e: I dunno about the 4 six episode seasons thing, though. Seasons tend to run 12-26 episodes, no? Traditionally: A "Full order" is 20-22 episodes (or more) A "Half order" is 10-12 However, networks are wild and unpredictable with their orders these days. Walking Dead was a 6 episode order. House of Payne got a 100 episode order (split up into seasons, but still). Argyle fucked around with this message at 03:07 on Jan 19, 2011 |
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Jan 19, 2011 03:01
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Lofty132 posted:I wrote a screenplay for a short film last summer that I based on my work experiences. Sure. <username>@hotmail.com
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Jan 19, 2011 15:26
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Lofty132 posted:I wrote a screenplay for a short film last summer that I based on my work experiences. Totally. signpostchicago @ gmail dot com
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Jan 19, 2011 18:21
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