The Screenwriting Thread: Without Us You Would Be Staring at A Blank Screen

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Creative Convention > The Screenwriting Thread: Without Us You Would Be Staring at A Blank Screen

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Ooh, screenplay thread, just what I needed. SA is amazing.

So, here's the situation. A friend of my friend approached him with an idea for a screenplay, but having no experience, asked him to write it for him. My friend declined, not having enough free time for such an endeavour, but pointed this person in my direction, saying I was very good, and could possibly help.

We sat down, I was told their very vague idea (really, a concept of basically a few lines), and I said I could do it. They work in the movie industry, and know producers and the like, so it getting made is a distinct possibility.

I did a storyline, created characters, a treatment. They liked it, and asked me to do a first draft. I did, they asked for a second with some changes they wanted. I put in changes, added bits here and there as needed, and emailed it off just before Christmas.

I just got an email saying this:

quote:

So it's time to copy write the script and we need to talk about credit. [My partner] and I have done some changes. It's mostly building on the structure that you gave us but we had to beef it up and change somethings around. The version I'm sending to you is the version we are getting copy written. As you can see we've done a lot work on it. I don't want you to take the changes as an insult to you. You gave us a really great script, but I think it's hard for writers to make major changes to there work. I think you're going to like the changes. But because we've put so much work in I want to copy write it with the following credits:

Written by
The_Doctor, Movie Guy, and Movie Guy 2
Based on Concept by
Movie Guy 2 and Movie Guy

I would like for you to ok this. Once the script is copy written, and you get back in the states we need to sit down and work up a contract so when we get paid you get paid.

Up till now, the 'written by' was just my name. They never told me when I handed in the 2nd draft they were going to go over it themselves. If they'd said 'we need these bits fixed, kill this guy, add this stuff', I'd have done it happily.

I'm not happy with the rewrite they've done without my say so, and the fact they just expect me to be OK with this. I can't help but feel I've been hosed over somewhat.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2011 23:03

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# ¿ May 6, 2024 02:01

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Momonari kun posted:

I just finished one of my scripts and it's coming up a little short (84 pages). The two or three action scenes may end up pushing it right to 90ish minutes, which leaves very little room. How do you guys add in stuff? Do you add characters, split up scenes or what? I find that this always happens.

You can either insert some character stuff, give the audience a chance to get to know your people a little better. Some little riffs here and there, some down time from your main plot as they live regular lives. Create some tensions, too. Arguments.

Or, create a problem for your characters. Some extra obstacle that they have go get around, over, etc, to get to their goal. Set up the problem, let them talk about the problem, solve the problem, move on.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2011 17:48

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Pantothenate posted:

I'd imagine a bunch of other fledgling scriptwriters would have an easier time being taken seriously if their stuff were perfectly formatted. After all, I know most publishers won't look at a manuscript that isn't formatted properly; I'd imagine the film industry works the same way.

It's one of the first things you're taught in any screenwriting class. "THIS IS HOW FORMATTING WORKS" Also, any decent screenwriting book will give you pointers on how it should look. But yes, we're also told that studios will disregard a script if it isn't industry standard. So, proper headings, proper action/dialogue formatting, proper layout on the page, proper font.

And then you look at the screenplay of any major film and see that it doesn't follow a lot of the rules you're taught, and you slightly rage inside.

Final Draft is definitely the way to go though. It's almost psychic in what it does with regards to being helpful.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2011 20:03

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

The pHo posted:

I don't care for much British TV and forcing myself to watch episodes of Doctor Who just to write pages of something I don't care for would just put me off even starting.

This makes you sound like kind of a dick then. If you watched any kind of British TV, and especially the BBC's output, you'd notice there's a very discernible difference between what the Beeb puts out and what US networks put out. To get that 'feel' would probably be in your favour, and watching some good examples wouldn't hurt (and there are some incredibly well-written eps of Doctor Who).

What is it you don't particularly like about Brit TV?

# ¿ Mar 28, 2011 12:15

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

The pHo posted:

Hmm.. how about Skins or Misfits?

# ¿ Mar 29, 2011 05:35

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

What's everyone's logline process? Do you even bother to write one? There's a screenwriting competition in this London magazine, but to enter, they want a logline. One sentence, maximum of 25 words.

So far I've got "A man wakes up in a bizarre, anachronistic city with no memory of getting there, but soon finds his long missing father is running things." which is 25 words, but sounds a little dull.

Or: "Finding himself in a bizarre anachronistic city, Harry Bishop stumbles across his long missing father and a mystery that could save or destroy everything." which is 24 words.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2011 08:04

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

I submitted the latter one, to which my friend pointed out not 2 minutes later, that I should have hyphenated 'long missing'. :doh:

# ¿ Apr 21, 2011 18:44

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

So I just found out about Pitchfest happening next weekend in LA. I've never heard about this before, and if I had a few months ago, I might have been tempted to fly out there and have a looksee.

Has anyone been/heard of this before? Success rate?

# ¿ May 29, 2011 08:06

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

NeuroticErotica posted:

I had a friend who was taking pitches for it - he couldn't figure out how he got chosen to do it and even if he heard an interesting pitch (he didn't) he couldn't do anything for the person.

Does he not deal with pitches regularly? That seems particularly crappy. Why even go?

# ¿ Jun 2, 2011 03:07

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Have you heard of Expendable? Comedy short film about henchmen from last year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Afttcxd6law

# ¿ Jun 17, 2011 11:40

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Sporadic posted:

Here's a question.

I have a two-sided phone call with only one side of the call seen.

KATHERINE
(into phone, groggy)
Hello?

RUSSEL (V.O.)
(over phone, cheerfully)
Hello, Mom.

Do I have to keep using (into phone) (over phone) afterwards or is that implied?

You'd use (O.S.) because it's off-screen, not a voice-over (V.O.). But you don't need to say it at all because it should be clear from the action that it's a phonecall. Thus:

Katherine stumbles for the ringing phone, finds it, presses it to her ear, her eyes still shut.

KATHERINE
(groggy)
Hello?

RUSSEL (O.S.)
(cheerfully)
Hello, Mom!

And you'd use (O.S.) for every instance of Russel in that scene because he continues to be off-screen.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2011 12:52

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

I'd argue for (O.S.) myself. Voice-over just reads as narration stuff to me. And you're right, you don't need to keep putting it every time. What book is that? It seems slightly outdated.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2011 17:23

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

TheYellowFog posted:

By the fact that it is Katherine who is the focal point of the sentence the reader automatically puts her in their vision, no need for camera directions.

Plus the fact that it's not really your place to put in camera directions. Sure, you have your version of the film in your head, but it's not necessarily going to mesh up with the director's version. The best you can hope for is to subtly suggest camera moves in the writing without them actually being flat out CLOSE UP ON, etc.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2011 11:50

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Great piece by Dan Harmon on writing characters: http://danharmon.tumblr.com/post/9510780192/hi-dan-my-wife-and-i-love-community-and-cant-wait

# ¿ Aug 29, 2011 11:52

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

coolhandsarrah posted:

Hey screenwriting goons. I'm currently trying to expand my spec script portfolio to include one-hour dramas (currently I only have sitcoms). Does anyone else here write specs? Where do you get scripts? Specifically, I'm looking for a Treme script/teleplay, I've had no luck finding one online. Any other tips from TV drama writers is appreciated!

I have a friend who writes for Treme. But I'd just write it as you see fit. I assume you're a fan of the show if you're going to do a spec for it, so you must have an idea of how the show sounds and so on? Don't bog yourself down in getting everything just so.

edit: I see you asked Reddit too.

The_Doctor fucked around with this message at 13:57 on Sep 19, 2011

# ¿ Sep 19, 2011 13:49

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

As someone who writes for different media (screen, prose, comics, play), does anyone else have the problem of 'how would this best come across?' Like, I've had a cracking idea turn up in my head (the combination of a few long-brewing ideas suddenly clicking together in a new and pleasing pattern), but now I'm unsure as to what I want to do with it. My first thought was novel because I can see more than one adventure for my protagonist, but I want to make it visual (plus I'm terrible at not having that great an attention span to write something that long), so I was thinking film, but film tends to be one-off, so.. TV? It's a conundrum.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2011 21:37

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

I'm always wary of the fact that no-one offers you a showrunner position first time out of the stable, as it were.

That said, I'd love a few days out in LA, see if I could get to meet some people and pitch.

# ¿ Sep 20, 2011 22:30

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

York_M_Chan posted:

Write one film. If it is good, there is always a sequel.

Or lovely low-budget webseries. Some of my old friends seem to think this is the way to go and their small ego-stroaking circle-jerk eggs them on and on and on.

What's that Lisa Kudrow thing that's just made it to HBO from being a web series? Although to be fair, it's made by Lisa Kudrow, and not some unknown.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2011 00:06

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

MixMasterGriff posted:

Do we have IRC? We need an IRC.

Because we need to waste more time not writing.

seriously though, I'd be in there a lot.

Well, a lot of goons make channels in synirc: http://cgiirc.synirc.net/

#writersroom ?

# ¿ Sep 22, 2011 12:45

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

sticklefifer posted:

There's a lot of great advice in this thread. I'm certainly not taking away anything from any of you, but my education and experience could probably help some of you out,

I'm not taking anything away from you, but I am better than you. :smug:

# ¿ Oct 27, 2011 09:49

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

York_M_Chan posted:

This was many years ago, before laptops were accessible to poor like me. I was working the graveyard shift at a gas station. I was the first time I could focus for long periods of time. The plan was to type it into my computer at home.

I have so many short stories written in notebooks that one day 'will be typed up'. Uh huh. One day.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2011 13:56

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Griff M. posted:

Doug TenNapel just called me a oval office and a hippie. This ironically put me in the best mood.

I wasn't fond of his preachy Christian stuff in Creature Tech. What did you do?

# ¿ Nov 16, 2011 01:39

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Sounds like he's going a bit Frank Miller.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2011 02:23

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

In a example of fatal hopefulness, I'm writing a Community spec. The plot wrote itself. Sadly, the jokes do not.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2011 14:46

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Sporadic posted:

It's just a style choice, right? Sluglines seem like they get the point across quicker without pulling the reading out of the story.

Right, it's purely up to you. I prefer the former, personally. The 'continuous' makes the reading easier in my mind.

# ¿ Dec 11, 2011 08:39

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Mr Interweb posted:

I was wondering if I should keep it as is, or be more subtle. Like using metaphors for the parties without actually naming them by name or something.

At that point, I hardly think it matters trying to hide who they are, to be honest. The president.. uh, Jeff.. Shrub, faces off against his opponent.. Kon Jerry. You see? When it's so blatant what you're talking about, it's not really worth trying to metaphor it.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2012 23:09

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

T-Bone posted:

Man screenwriting class is at once the most depressing and encouraging thing ever.

Yeah, I pretty much agree with everything you said. I've done three different screenwriting classes and they're all like that. 90% is absolute dreck, but that 10% makes it worth it. One super-talented guy made me deeply envious. He wrote this fantastic swords and sorcery fantasy script (although the amount of back story he had for everything, I'm convinced it should really be a novel). It came in at something like 150 pages, and he admitted that was with some heart-rending cuts to it all. But the dialogue was good (for fantasy speak), there was humour, fantastic characters, the plot was actually really engaging. Bastard.

It's the weird things that get to me. It hurts to read unrealistic or clunky dialogue (do these people never say it out loud?), but I read a guy's stuff where he just wouldn't write in contractions in speech. Everyone was all "I would not do that." "I cannot go with you." It was like reading a script where everyone was Data.

Or the girl who wouldn't write in screenplay formatting, no matter how much she was asked to. Her reasoning was that her script wasn't going to be read by actual movie people, so why bother? :argh:

# ¿ Feb 10, 2012 13:32

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Sporadic posted:

I'm ramping up to begin my second screenplay. I found an interesting true story I was going to rip pieces from, had a clear idea of how to approach the entire thing and, what I think is, an unique perspective that would help bring it to that next level.

As I was doing more research, I found out that two movies are already in pre-production based off of the same thing. One is just a horrible teaser trailer from a nobody indie filmmaker which doesn't bother me but the other one is from an established name and it looks like it is on course for a 2013 release.

Should I scrap the entire thing and move on?

If it was just the small indie one, I'd say carry on developing it, but if a potentially big film is covering it, I'd say skip it for now. Maybe just put it on the back burner, see how this other one comes out, and if you think you can do better, then go back to it. Unless you've got some studio insider knowhow where submitting it would definitely get it into pre-production in 3 months or less, then leave it for now.

That's not to say you should just abandon it, by all means, keep plugging away at it, going back, improving here and there, but move on for now.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2012 22:47

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Kolchak posted:

I agree that "funny" names can be annoying, but for some reason I really like Cakes. I guess it just depends on the context.

Yeah, exactly, it's all about context. Everyone has friends with odd nicknames, and it breaks up the monotony of characters called Dave and Claire, etc.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2012 21:19

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

Golden Bee posted:

Just finished a sitcom pilot: The #1 Girl's Detective Agency.
Here's the pitch: Three kid detectives take on evil twins, stolen comics, and minimum wage. Kind of "Encyclopedia Brown" with some of the weirdness of "Pete and Pete".

1) Alexander McCall Smith might object to the title.

2) Have you watched 'Mystery Team'?

# ¿ Apr 14, 2012 09:59

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

As Nero Danced posted:

A question about the "one page equals one minute" guideline. Does this hold true for 20-minute animated sitcoms as well? I'm not sure if I should shoot for twenty pages per episode or more. I know it was mentioned on the last page that it doesn't always hold true, but I'd hate to have my scripts come up too short or have to chop scenes to make it fit the time slot.

Well, it works out to 21-22 minutes usually, so I'd say aim for 25-26 minutes. And while the 1 page = 1 minute thing isn't always accurate, its an industry standard for a reason. So aim for 25 pages, and then you've got room to cut down if necessary.

# ¿ May 10, 2012 10:42

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# ¿ May 6, 2024 02:01

The_Doctor: Mar 29, 2007; "The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."

An ill-fated but wacky camping trip. :pseudo:

# ¿ Jun 12, 2012 22:55

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Creative Convention > The Screenwriting Thread: Without Us You Would Be Staring at A Blank Screen