The Screenwriting Thread: Without Us You Would Be Staring at A Blank Screen

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Creative Convention > The Screenwriting Thread: Without Us You Would Be Staring at A Blank Screen

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

If anyone is looking to read a really good book on how to not be a lovely, whining, poseur, "Starving Artist" type...

Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant's Book
"Writing Movies For ~~Fun And~~ Profit is astounding and hilarious.

The running theme is.

"This Will Be Your Job"
"Treat It Like A Job"
"Hollywood Sucks"
"In & Out Burger is Delicious."
"This Will Be A Job"

# ¿ Feb 16, 2015 07:45

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 16:05

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

LORD OF BUTT posted:

How do y'all handle action scenes in your work? I don't want to go into extreme detail, because that's the storyboarder/fight choreographer's job, but I also don't want to replace a big set piece with "big set piece goes here." The Terminator 2 script does the former and writes out the set pieces in detail, from what I remember on looking it over at a friend's house, but the Kill Bill script basically does the latter and just has a list of specific moments in the Crazy 88 fight. Is there any standard approach?

there's probably different rules based on studio and poo poo. You might also be finding production scripts that are more detailed than the original spec.

I have seen it done a few different ways on official studio copies.

//Slug Set Piece Number/Name
///Set piece is written in present tense as a script note. Set piece is formatted as traditional prose

The Breaking Bad pilot is written as SCENE but in longer format detailed enough to communicate the idea but vague enough for art department to do their thing. (Included in Final Draft 7 samples)

I don't remember where but I've also seen it done along the lines of what's below
//
A AND B ARE ENGAGED IN A DUEL

A: Suck it bitch...I'm gonna teabag your corpse tryna haxorz this duel.

B: Hawt

THE TWO ARE EQUALLY MATCHED NEITHER SWORD SEEMS TO FIND IT'S TARGET

B: OMG you're such a Noob

A: Then, with your corpse slob dripping off my totes alive knob, I am going to throat gently caress your sister

B: What?

B IS THROWN OFF BY THE VERBAL ABUSE: ADVANTAGE A

A: While your mom watches.

B FRUSTRATED TAKES THE HIGH GROUND. BEATING A BACK WITH A FLURRY OF BLOWS
//
Basically you let it follow the dialogue.

Forgive the crude wordplay and formatting. Day job is 3rd shift and I am dead tired.

KEEP IN MIND: Set pieces are hard to time, with a normal dialogue/action balance you should be running about a page a minute.

ALSO: As soon as you get that first paycheck the script no longer belongs to you, but studio execs have poo poo tastes and good instincts. Getting through rewrites is a balancing act of your vision and talent against their desires and knowledge. They know what sells but not why. It is your job to take their input and make it work.

CHANCES ARE: you will communicate with the director on rewrites and maybe land a a job somewhere in production You may get chance to help develop these scenes.

EDIT: made things slightly better.
Will come back to gently caress with this when I can keep my eyes open and don't have to type into a lovely smartphone UI.

Sorry about potential shitpost.

SkaAndScreenplays fucked around with this message at 15:57 on Feb 16, 2015

# ¿ Feb 16, 2015 15:21

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

LORD OF BUTT posted:

This is how I'm handling a fight scene in what I'm writing:

WILL
Well, I�ll be off then, I guess.

Will turns and walks away.

WILL (CONT�D)
(under his breath)
Fuckhead.

BIKER LEADER
What was that?

WILL
Oh, nothing, I just called you a fuckhead.

Over at the bar, Rose is watching intently, growing increasingly worried. The other patrons also show some surprise at this complete unknown challenging the head of the local pack, and begin clamoring,~~unfocused~~.^{Bizarre word choice}

The biker leader advances. His pack watches; ~~this one belongs to him~~. Will remains entirely relaxed.

BIKER LEADER
You�re gonna regret that, boy.

WILL
No. I think you will.

Will�s stance immediately changes to a combat pose and he begins fighting the biker leader. At first, they seem evenly matched- no mean feat, considering the size difference- but Will is easily able to take the man down, knocking him unconscious. As he does so, the other four bikers at first seem to back off, ~~scared of the man who just humiliated their leader~~^{Narrative Action should only include things that can be seen}[/s]: Suddenly they all charge at ~~once~~.^{Buts/Ands/Etc only muddy narrative dialogue - drop the once. The sentence makes perfect sense without it. If you can read drop any words off the front or back of a sentence it might be a good idea.}

WILL (CONT�D)
Oh gently caress.

Will weaves in and out of the crowd, dodging blows with some difficulty ~~(from sheer number alone)~~ ^{This is implied/possibly written in earlier action. If parentheticals in action come off as weak. Describe what you're explaining or leave it out.}~~but returning them with punishing ease~~^{Can probably be left out due to implications of the next line. Which I would also suggest cleaning up a little}. He takes down one, then two, then three, then:

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. POLICE STATION, NIGHT
Look good or should I be more detailed?

Good rule of thumb - Narrative Action should only include things that can be seen.

In fact, I have been told NEVER to include a character's thoughts unless it's in a VO by several reliable sources. If you can't write it as action

Parenthesis are for description of dialogue or brief character action that doesn't deserve its own action line.

Action should be written as concisely as possible. Avoid big words and character thought/motive. That should all be left to dialogue. Your story is driven by the dialogue, if you can't develop a strong character on wordplay alone you need to address that first. I can get that this character is the badass/lone wolf type from the brazen way he calls out Biker Guy. You don't talk poo poo to a guy like that without having the skills to back it up.

If your main character kicks rear end without subjecting himself to the bureaucratic nightmare of having to take names show us that by his actions/witty dialogue. Knock his tooth out with a good left hook and have him spit it out in his opponent's face.

Additionally, your word choice in action scenes should leave no doubts. "But Then" is passive conveys a sense of apathy. 'Well Maybe We Should Fight this Dude?'. "Suddenly" or "Without Warning" present the doomed intern reading your spec with a sense of immediacy to the action. It also doesn't fit right with the rest of the 'tense/voice' stands out in an odd way.

That's my two cents.

And see, I promised I'm more articulate when I'm awake.

I'm sick of bbcode already. But I wanted to add this;

quote:

He takes down one, then two, then three, then:

You're repeating yourself here, this line and the line before it are communicating the same message of :boom:

also avoid 'they' when referring to factional groups (You have 2 in this scene - Dude and the Bikers) it can make things hard to follow. Plural pronouns should be kept to a minimum, only use it to keep things from being repetitive in long blocks of action. Look at it this way:

quote:

...Without warning; the BIKERS charge.

Oh, and ellipses are rare use and exclusively dialogue. If you find one on every page start figuring out where they don't make sense. http://writingclearandsimple.com/2009/03/05/pauses-and-omissions-using-ellipses/

If at any point in a screenplay a reader has to re-read a line of action or dialogue a studio/agency will probably reject it outright.

Also, keep all roles in dialogue in all caps/bold to further distinguish the action. <-I believe it is industry standard to do this. Each studio/medium has different formatting though, so the way it is done can vary. BBC 1 Hour Dramas are written in all caps, so character names in action are made bold (I think. My comp with final draft decided to literally shatter the hard disk.)

BTW: GET FINAL DRAFT/SOME REPUTABLE SCREENWRITING PROGRAM.
You can easily reformat any document to any studio format in less than a minute. I think FD8 even has a 'save as all formats' feature. Also being able to hotkey/macro your line type is great.

SkaAndScreenplays fucked around with this message at 11:51 on Feb 17, 2015

# ¿ Feb 17, 2015 11:13

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

Wheat Loaf posted:

I'm frustrated. I thought I had been making good progress for my first attempt, but then the memory stick with the Trelby file and the MS Word document which had the outline had to be reformatted and the files I was able to recover beforehand were hopelessly corrupted. It's a confluence of bad luck (they were only on the memory stick in the first place because I was switching files over to my new laptop) and ineptitude (it's my own fault for not keeping a spare copy; I thought it'd be a routine switch so I did a Ctrl+X on the files instead of Ctrl+C). I'm having trouble summoning up the enthusiasm to start again; I probably need to take a break from it and rethink my ideas, anyway.

I know the feeling. I had a hard drive shatter and have to recover from hardcopy.

Find your clipboard folder they might be there.

Talk to a computer tech.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2015 14:36

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

Sataere posted:

I always feel that if you don't hate 80% of what you've written after reflecting a little bit, you are probably doing it wrong. I've got about 80 pages of a screenplay on the shelf and I know there are only maybe ten usable pages in it.

I'm working on adapting SCRUM from programming into a viable writing method. I'm testing it out and sharing the results VIA tumblr. Don't have a computer at home right now so progress has been slow, but steady.

Iterative design is a super cool concept though and I think it's got a lot of potential.

Basically the goal is to produce everything in multiple sprints, improving on the final product every time.

So basically with screenwriting you would have something like:

SPRINT 1: Production Goal = Narrative Outline
Character Development
Story
Worldbuilding
Plot Outline
-----------------------
Final Product = Narrative Outline Written in Final Draft/Script Software.
//The Goal With The Narrative Outline is to convey the setting, action, and story and summarize the dialogue in a manner that is easily formatted in the next draft.

EXAMPLE:

code:

[INT - A POOL HALL - DAY]
        BRAD and JULIAN are playing a game of pool, enjoying some drinks. 

               THE TWO ARE FEARLESSLY DISCUSSING THEIR NEXT JOB. THEY PLAN ON BREAKING INTO A COMPUTER MANUFACTURER WITH THE INTENT OF STEALING A LARGE SHIPMENT OF GOLD USED FOR PLATING CONNECTORS CIRCUIT BOARDS. BRAD IS EXTREMELY CASUAL, CERTAIN THAT IT WILL BE AN EASY JOB. JULIAN IS FAR MORE CAUTIOUS, AND HE REMINDS BRAD OF WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME THEY WERE TOO CASUAL ABOUT A HEIST. HE ASKS BRAD IF HE EVEN HAS A PLAN AT THIS POINT. 

       More action - stating intent to be conveyed in diaglogue. 
                 
                 SUMMARY OF DIALOGUE CONTINUES: ANY ACTION THAT HAPPENS DURING DIALOGUE IS INCLUDED. 
   
         Action outside of dialogue, or anything that sets up a scene gets lumped into action text.

The idea behind this method is that you first tell your story, then you turn it into a functional screenplay. I've used it once before on a script that is sitting on a bad hard drive I hope to recover from. It worked pretty awesomely then. Went from idea to contest submission in less than a month.

Once you've got your narrative outline done you go through, double check for continuity/gaping plot holes - touch up the concepts. Take a couple of days break from it, then start at the top hit Insert to start overwriting, and polish it off.

Once the first draft is done you get fresh eyes on it to proofread/give notes then edit again.

It's still a rough process but it's been working way better than discovery writing/traditional outlining for me so far.

I'm working on a submission for final draft's new contest so I'll have a better idea of how it works by the 30th.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2015 07:06

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

Hey quick question for you goons.

Google-Fu has yielded mixed results in finding 'official' scripts and specs and I was wondering if you had any leads. It seems like mypdfscripts is down for the time being. I'm going to be taking a crack at the CBS and some other studio fellowship when it rolls around again in 2016 and since it is a studio environment I want to make sure I nail the look and feel of the 'Episode' script.

Basically CBS fellowship, for those unfamiliar, has submission requirements of an original episode of any currently airing (any broadcaster) program, and a pilot episode for an original series of the same tone as the series ep.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2015 08:40

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

Mike Works posted:

I'm always surprised so few people know about this:

https://www.scridx.com

You are a wonderful human being, thanks for sharing. This is super helpful.

marblize posted:

I feel like that's fine as a general thing to keep in the back of your mind not to go overboard with but I don't think it should be touted as a hard and fast all-caps italics rule.

sometimes it's useful to clarify a character's feelings rather than merely describing the generic action. In the example you quoted (It could be done more gracefully but) these goons could have been backing away for numerous reasons: strategic, for example. Sometime's it seems okay to just go with something like "The goons all stumble backward, scared" rather than searching for some verbose way to depict the fright with sweat, worried eyebrows, and shaking knees for instance. We know what a scared backward stumble is. So in a way it is indeed something you can see. I recently read Gravity and it has a lot of this, though I reckon there's obviously more leeway in a script that the writer will direct. It still reads wonderfully, unseen things described and all.

I did go a bit overboard with the emphasis. There are a lot of good scripts that go into character thought to a degree. I'm still of the school that it's best to have it attributed to some action or expression whenever possible.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2015 10:41

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

Mordiceius posted:

We're going to be doing a casting call and casting local amateur non-SAG actors. It's a student film with our film head Chris Coppola overseeing the project.

Here is some of my past work: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1HzDB_0bI2LGJlvkKIAwiCLSo-31rZPa

It's quite amateurish, honestly, but it is mostly from my time in the military where I was the entire film crew and when I went to Boise State, where the situation was much the same. This will be my first time working with an actual crew (all classmates, but it's still more than just myself).

I totally understand if no one is willing to offer up their works, so I don't mind if we have to go grab some free public script online.

What are you looking at for runtime/theme? I've got a few things I've been looking to punch up that I would be willing to throw your way. Most is <= 30 mins.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 08:36

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

So I'm planning on investing in my writing future and am currently debating what my best option is.

Live in Milwaukee - Decided a weekly/twice weekly commute to Chicago isn't unreasonable. Currently I'm weighing my options in screenwriting courses.

My Options
iO Chicago - 90 Minute Commute
Second City - 90 Minute Commute
UW-Milwaukee - 20 Minute Commute (And A Full Course-load)
MATC - 20 Minute Commute (And A Community College)

I'm pretty set on either iO or Second City's programs, as they won't put me in debt, are results oriented program, and have both spit out successful working writers on the regular. On top of that they have huge value in networking opportunities.

So I pose the question: Do any of you goons have experience with either of these programs and if so what did you think was good and what did you think sucked?

# ¿ Nov 21, 2015 09:04

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

So has anyone done/is anyone planning on submitting for the CBS Writer's Mentoring Program?

I'm thinking it is worth a submission, even if CBS hasn't really put out much more than grievously over the top crime procedural shows for the past decade.

I'm revising a draft and then I'll be working on a spec that the submission guidelines call for. If anyone else wants to go at it I'd like to have someone to bounce ideas off of, and would be more than willing to return the favor.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 08:20

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

Baby Babbeh posted:

So, here's a simple question with a no-doubt complicated answer: how do you write a screenplay? Like, what does your actual process look like from start to finish? I'm trying to build a daily writing habit by writing for a few hours in the evening but I feel like I don't know what to do to use those hours productively.

I start out with an idea, hand-write a basic outline.

Then I turn that outline into scenes, action, and a summary of dialogue.

Then I go through the dialogue summaries and turn it into actual functional dialogue.

Then I have friends tell me how lovely it is.

Then I make it less lovely.

Prior to this I would just try and discovery write myself into bedlam, get overwhelmed and quit.
After discovering this process I can churn out a first draft of a pilot in a little more than a week.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2016 17:59

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

THE ARRIVAL IS REALLY GOOD and Eric Heisserer wrote some really cool stuff about how he went about making linguistics and stuff interesting and engaging.

# ¿ Nov 15, 2016 21:32

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

The Black List Has Some
So Does The Script Lab

There's other places too, but those are the two I go to most frequently...

SkaAndScreenplays fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Dec 28, 2016

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 00:28

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

So I've finished my 1 hour pilot and finally formatted it properly if anyone is down to read and give some comments I can link you the plaintext google doc or the .pdf.

If interested email me at rdonalddesjardin@gmail.com and I'll be happy to return the favor in the future or now.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2017 00:27

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

SkaAndScreenplays posted:

So I've finished my 1 hour pilot and finally formatted it properly if anyone is down to read and give some comments I can link you the plaintext google doc or the .pdf.

If interested email me at rdonalddesjardin@gmail.com and I'll be happy to return the favor in the future or now.

Thanks to everyone that's already stepped in to offer help.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2017 04:57

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

Race Realists posted:

this thread is seeing actual activity

I'm going to shamelessly take credit for this...

SkaAndScreenplays posted:

So I've finished my 1 hour pilot and finally formatted it properly if anyone is down to read and give some comments I can link you the plaintext google doc or the .pdf.

If interested email me at rdonalddesjardin@gmail.com and I'll be happy to return the favor in the future or now.

In other news I've been tossing around the idea of starting up a Thunderdome style weekly short-writing competition strictly for script formats. If anybody is down it would be great to work together on that sort of thing.

I'd also highly advise anyone in this thread not familiar with it to give a shot at Thunderdome for a couple of weeks. It has definitely helped my storytelling skills and the people there are fun and helpful.

SkaAndScreenplays fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Jan 11, 2017

# ¿ Jan 11, 2017 04:53

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

I'll work up an effortpost on it then.

In the meantime I though together a <1500 word scene in screen(ish) formatting for the latest thunderdome prompt.

Thunderdome conventions generally frown upon critiquing before judgement comes down (late sunday night/early sunday morning) but if anybody wants to take a look at it I think its a pretty good scene for being 14th century vampire politicking...

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 13:22

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 16:05

SkaAndScreenplays: Dec 11, 2013; by Pragmatica

SkaAndScreenplays posted:

I'll work up an effortpost on it then.

In the meantime I though together a <1500 word scene in screen(ish) formatting for the latest thunderdome prompt.

Thunderdome conventions generally frown upon critiquing before judgement comes down (late sunday night/early sunday morning) but if anybody wants to take a look at it I think its a pretty good scene for being 14th century vampire politicking...

A second read and it was boring and hella bad.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2017 08:11

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