The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

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Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

euroboy posted:

arsenals done it for years mate

it doesnt work

Needs a competent defender to work though

# ¿ Nov 8, 2011 12:36

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 15:44

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/09/sports/soccer/09iht-soccer09.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&sq=newcastle%20united&st=cse&scp=1

quote:

Yet the current team is not everyone�s cup of tea.

Its squad draws on players from more than a dozen countries, in keeping with the polyglot makeup of virtually all the clubs in the Premiership, but at odds with the dream of Newcastle�s rearing its team of locally produced �Geordie lads.�

# ¿ Nov 10, 2011 17:02

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

We have all of 3 players not from a major European footballing country. Hungary, Slovenia and Denmark. Really scarcely known about countries

# ¿ Nov 10, 2011 17:33

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Didn't Germany lose to Spain in the World Cup :smuggo:

# ¿ Nov 14, 2011 00:20

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

I love how people think its acceptable to give footballers abuse on twitter then kick off when they get some back

# ¿ Nov 25, 2011 09:11

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

quote:

Having been in the New World of late rather than Newcastle, it had been quite some time since I watched the Magpies but last week a friend told me they were on tv in the local bar. The way it works on the other side of the pond is that the football is on a couple of tv sets and recorded ice hockey games are shown on others sets, with the football sound turned off. Anyhow, I did figure out that they were playing away to Norwich. My friend and I left after the score had reached 4-1 for the home side.

Today, now that I know where to eat brunch and watch soundless matches at the weekend, I sat and munched on toast and watched the Magpies playing Swansea. Not very exciting but I guess they are getting better having managed to force a 0-0 draw versus the Mighty Swans.

Both last week and this it seems that there are many of the former better players missing from the NUFC ranks

As they are now playing teams like Norwich and Swansea, and don�t have any star players any more, my assumption is that the Magpies got relegated again last summer.

Wonder if they will be on again next week, because if it is versus Doncaster or similar the Magpies could stand a chance of winning.

Can't tell if this is a joke but pretty shocking if its not

# ¿ Dec 18, 2011 00:02

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

I'm glad people are pointing out the worst bits I'm struggling to get past the second sentence on a lot of these

# ¿ Jan 7, 2012 00:44

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

http://football365.com/faves/7422214/Weekly-Words

"Heard a few rumours uve been using my name in vain? Hope its not true. Sh*t players talking sh*t" the bain of my life. Go and live life away from football, stop being so bitter, twisted and sad. Its boring. If ur English, u play for England. If ur English and sh*t, u pretend ur Irish grand parentage matters to u and play for Ireland!

"I'd rather have my 1 England cap and be forever yearning more than take somebody from that countries chance away because my nans from their. and I'm not good enough to play for the country I'm from. Bore off. Play for the country ur from, if ur not good enough like me, work harder. I have worked out that I probably love about 12 people in the world, I like about 35, I don't mind about 100, the rest of u, well can jog on. I care neither for ur comments, ur praise, ur critique, ur attitudes, ur life stories or any other nonsense u choose to bore me with......." - In all its grammatical glory, Joey Barton takes to Twitter in response to some criticism from Matt Holland.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2012 10:04

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Mark Lawrenson posted:

If you were a Premier League football, you'd like to be used in this game. You are not going to get humped from one end of the pitch to the other, you are going to get caressed.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2012 14:39

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2087385/Leon-Best-video-girl-uses-make-turn-striker.html

# ¿ Jan 18, 2012 14:47

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

... Just want to follow up the email from Dave (not loving it) Dublin, about the 'uncoolness' of football now. I totally agree, the Premiership has lost it's edge a little. The diving and the feigning injuries he mentions is one thing, but for me it's the money involved now. I feel absolutely no connection with any of the players nowadays, even if Benoit Assou-Ekotto does get the bus.

I support Arsenal, and I used to really, really care. Don't get me wrong, I went nuts when we beat Chelsea at the Bridge, or when Thierry Henry scored against Leeds, but for me this season, something has changed. Maybe I'd feel differently if Arsenal were good, but I don't know. I struggle to care for the team when I dislike many of the players. Alex Song thinks he's the best DM in the Premiership and he's not. Theo Walcott thinks he's the next Henry and he's not. Even Frimpong thinks he's 'dench' and that he's made it, but he's not - and he hasn't.

Over the last few years I've got really into NFL, and went to see the NY Giants just over a year ago. I realise the irony in supporting an NFL team, as the money is just as ridiculous as in football. But at least the players care, and actually want to win for their team. On Sunday, I was surprised at myself about how passionate I was during the Giants/Packers game compared to my sluggish attitude towards Swansea smashing Arsenal. NFL players realise how lucky and how gifted they are, and actually try their hardest. Premiership footballers just mill about, believe their own hype and then go to a club and swig champagne.

They think they're cool. I think they're tw*ts.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2012 17:05

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

http://www.ontheedgeofsanity.co.uk/

Someone has gone to the effort of compiling comments about football from different websites

# ¿ Jan 19, 2012 13:44

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Sven Goran Eriksson posted:

You know Kaiser, I like this place. I think I will manage for another five years and come back here and live with two women. Yes. I think I need two beautiful women

Eriksson talking to Didi Hamann when they were in Thailand

# ¿ Jan 20, 2012 14:49

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Its from Hamann's new autobiography and is when they were doing a pre-season training camp

# ¿ Jan 20, 2012 17:31

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Tom Werner posted:

There was some footage of Stewart where he is, from 30 yards away, kicking a football into five different trash cans and it's brilliant, "John and I said: 'Oh my god, this player is brilliant, we've got to figure out a way to make a deal with him'

# ¿ Jan 23, 2012 13:32

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

I got it from http://football365.com/mediawatch/7450143/Mediawatch

It also states that the video was fake as well

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/live...00252-30167724/

Here

# ¿ Jan 23, 2012 14:14

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Oliver Holt posted:

Henry James Redknapp. That�s what they kept calling him in Court Six.

Not Harry.

Or even �Arry.

Or Gaffer.

They gave him his full name and turned him from a football manager into a defendant .

Judge Anthony Leonard told the court to forget about the football version of Redknapp and concentrate on the facts in hand.

�Football can be of such importance that it almost overwhelms other aspects of life,� the judge said, telling the jury to �leave prejudice or favour behind�.

And so we were left not with the manager of Tottenham Hotspur but a man looking smart and unfamiliar in a blue suit and rather elegant spectacles.

No Prozone statistics.

No lists of approaching fixtures.

No photographs of a man in a tracksuit holding up a trophy.

Just men and women wearing white wigs and staring at computer screens and leafing through great sheaves of paper in huge box files on their desks.

And Henry James Redknapp, sitting near the back in a floor-to-ceiling glass box, next to co-defendant Milan Mandaric.

Redknapp�s son, Jamie, the former Liverpool and England player, sat in the public gallery.

Henry James Redknapp had to stand and identify himself with a brief wave when the clerk of the court read out his name.

And then he sat down to hear John Black QC begin the prosecution case by reintroducing the word �bung� into our lexicon.

At the end, he walked into the corridor outside Court Six and chatted with football reporters.

He was Harry Redknapp now, talking about watching his team lose to Manchester City.

Someone mentioned his bulldog, Rosie, who had become the star of the day when the prosecution identified her as the inspiration for an allegedly secret bank account called Rosie 47.

�Poor old Rosie,� Redknapp said. �She�s dead now.�

http://www.mirrorfootball.co.uk/opi...icle856931.html

loving hell

# ¿ Jan 24, 2012 13:33

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

quote:

There are three versions to this sorry tale: Evra's - Suarez called me a n****r more than ten times. Suarez's - I called him a black guy once, in a friendly way. The FA's - Suarez called Evra black seven times in an aggressive way. Liverpool fans believe Suarez and therefore believe Evra lied or at least greatly exaggerated for the sole purpose of getting Suarez banned.

Now if you believe Suarez, then you also believe he did nothing wrong and was not racist in any way, so supporting him is in no way condoning racism because no racist act was perpetrated. Even if you accept the FA version then that implies that both players lied - Suarez did it to defend himself, Evra did it to get Suarez banned. As a neutral, which is the worse reason to lie?

So as a Liverpool fan, can you now see why Liverpool fans boo Evra? And to the statement that Evra did nothing wrong - even the FA by agreeing on 7x 'black' as the official version, imply that Evra lied (and Suarez also, of course.) Evra did nothing wrong? He lied to get a fellow player banned.

And I'll add my own opinion: Evra insulted Suarez with the kind of comment that made Zidane lose it in the WC final - a very impressive level of Spanish (I speak it) yet he mistranslated 'negro' as 'n****r'? Yeah, right. Suarez could easily have said 'puto negro' or 'negro de mierda' (remember Luis Aragones, Spanish manager, talking about Thierry Henry?) but he didn't. For those two reasons I believe Luis Suarez and would boo Evra every time.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2012 17:03

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Fergie's moral check list:
Kung Fu kick a fan. OK.
Miss a drug test. OK.
Shag your brothers wife for years. OK.
Shag a granny prossie. OK.
Shout "gently caress Off" down a TV lens so thousands of kids can hear you. OK.
Refuse to shake a man's hand. Ban him for life !

From my facebook wall. I like how it misses the most important event

# ¿ Feb 13, 2012 13:52

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/feb/25/wife-bournemouth-half-time-team-talk

# ¿ Feb 26, 2012 10:24

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Sam Wallace's Twitter posted:

Steve Wigley laying out the cones for training at Wembley. There's simply no better venue at which to lay out cones. Pride

This would be the moment for one of Capello's Italian coaches to turn up. Like one of those Japanese soldiers who didn't know WWII was over

He's a journalist for the independant :ughh:

# ¿ Feb 28, 2012 14:18

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

quote:

Far be it from me to act a total curmudgeon, but Stuart Pearce did not celebrate England's equalising goal.

This is indicative of one of two things: first, that the man is a clairvoyant; or second, that he is not a patriot and should go the way of other, non-celebrating dodgy foreign types like Benitez and Capello.

There's the door, Stuart.

I assume the red tops will have taken the same stance by the time you're reading this.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2012 13:16

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

quote:

If Pele thinks he's the Beethoven of football then I'm Ron Wood, Keith Richards and the Bono of football, because I have so much passion

Guess who

# ¿ Mar 14, 2012 13:48

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Always

# ¿ Mar 14, 2012 14:18

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Red Issue posted:

Compare & contrast: 2: Bolton games called off after player collapses 2: United games called off after 8 players die #dianafication

# ¿ Mar 19, 2012 13:39

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Michael Owen posted:

One of the worst things about being a footballer is being ill. I've got a sore throat and a bunged up nose but not allowed anything for it!

Maybe not the best week to tweet that.

At least he's not Richard Littlejohn though

quote:

At Stamford Bridge, the Chelsea defender, Gary Cahill, a former Bolton team-mate, �dedicated� his goal to Muamba and unveiled a T-shirt bearing the slogan �Pray 4 Muamba� for the benefit of the TV cameras.

He couldn�t even be bothered to spell out the word �for�.

For instance, the death of Wales manager Gary Speed, who hanged himself, was a tragedy for his family and friends. But the aftermath was a carefully choreographed travelling circus of remembrance, which made its way around the grounds of every club he�d ever played for. It went on for weeks.

Jose fucked around with this message at 13:40 on Mar 20, 2012

# ¿ Mar 20, 2012 13:36

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

They'll be justified when he takes over for Mourinho at Real Madrid this summer

# ¿ Mar 29, 2012 13:33

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Andy Carroll's former agent was on twitter last night:

'When I represented AC before he was pinched by Mark Curtis, he was always wanting a transfer, graet lad apart from he batters women. Fact'

'Grass greener on the other side springs to mind, boo hoo want to come home. Wanka'

'AC is marked that tight now he has his arms up more times than a Japanese prisoner of war complaining so much. Useless.Two left feet'

'Is AC worth more than a 12 year old Vauxhall Vectra parked doon the teams on a winters night?'

# ¿ Mar 30, 2012 13:31

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Babby Thatcher posted:

Stone Cold Charlie Austin forever headlining 'mania

I see nothing wrong with this

# ¿ Apr 3, 2012 08:56

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Best football in Europe. Not much else needs saying

# ¿ Apr 9, 2012 20:21

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

PirateBob posted:

Can't possibly be a serious post, but still funny.

You clearly haven't read all of the masses of stuff by Liverpool fans in this thread recently then

# ¿ Apr 9, 2012 21:26

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

I read it in order

# ¿ Apr 9, 2012 21:56

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Romario really got it spot on with what he said about Pele

# ¿ Apr 11, 2012 07:34

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

quote:

Soccer is the fluoridation of the American sporting scene.

This is the best bit

# ¿ Apr 11, 2012 19:13

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Monday Bandele posted:

I look forward to the year 2040 when a wizened Cronaldo and a bloated Messi are taking snide potshots at eachother

This assumes Pele was ever wizened

# ¿ Apr 15, 2012 22:22

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

We're going to ruin Barca imo

# ¿ Apr 24, 2012 11:11

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

splfootball.txt

# ¿ Apr 24, 2012 23:00

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/robbie-savage-frank-lampard-not-807821

Robbie Savage posted:

Your initiation ritual as a Manchester United apprentice involved being led into a darkened room where you had to pretend to chat up a mop and then get sexy with a treatment table while the other lads giggled in the background.

So I can confidently say that I'm one of very few people in the world who's has previous experience of hearing Gary Neville make the kind of sound he made when Fernando Torres scored for Chelsea the other night.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2012 13:13

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

I can't do it anymore. Thats just too much

# ¿ Apr 27, 2012 15:06

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 15:44

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

I can't tell if thats a joke or really that stupid

# ¿ May 5, 2012 21:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The neverending Weekend Web thread for bad posts about football

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