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some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

Ether Frenzy posted:

Artie's also a huge baby who's totally unable to take the same medicine he dishes out.

I just got done listening to his epic "I gently caress!!! I DO THE loving!!!" style rant on Sal & Richard from Nov 5-6, 2007 where in his butt became quite hurt because Sal made a single joke about Artie's dad falling off a ladder, which happened after 3 weeks of Artie doing the Emotional Friend jokes about Sal's failing marriage.

Artie's justification (I'm a better and more important person in Showbizness than you) was fantastic.

Didn't he give that justification because it all started with Sal and Richard whining about Artie getting special treatment? How Artie gets to sleep during the show, how Gary is always siding with him, how overall he gets treated better than they do?

I just got done watching the earlier Oct 31 show. Sal and Richard are the ones that come off butt hurt here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FdQglXeDo8

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some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

Streebs posted:

I only heard about 5 minutes but he was really funny in those 5 minutes.

The pet woman and rear end napkin ed... holy gently caress.

Did Norm mention Artie?

I suppose not or someone would have said something.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

-Atom- posted:

Pretty good guest list until the last two!

I was about to say no guest list without Gilbert Gottfried could be considered a good list, but then I read it again and see that he's there. Awesome.

Gilbert should be on every month.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.
I've been listening to the History of Howard Stern at lot lately on the long drives I have to make every day. And as I constantly hear him talk about the quest to be on TV and be seen by everyone and how it made him upset when people told him it did a good show due to the fact that only New York and Philly got to hear it..

I'm wondering if he gets pissed off today that hardly anyone gets to hear him. I mean, you really have to be a gigantic Howard Stern fan to be listening to his show today. (Aside from a few segments here and there on youtube)

Why has he never tried to replace his old E! show?

I used to watch the E! show each day and have always been a big HS fan, but until recently I kinda forgot that he even existed. I think it was seeing this thread last year that made me think about Howard for the first time since 2005.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

Joe Don Baker posted:

His On Demand channel probably makes enough money to not make it worth it.

It's hard to believe he could make as much money with a subscriber channel as he could a syndicated TV deal.

Plus if he was on TV where everyone could see him, he would get more and better celebrities.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.
Gilbert should find a way to get Howard to produce a DVD of every appearance he's ever had on the show. Who wouldn't buy that?

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

Brocktoon posted:

I was really disappointed that the video game segment didn't lead to an interview with the Angry Video Game Nerd. I'd love to hear him talk to Stern.

Also, can someone explain Howard's obsession with Chaz Bono? He's talked about him every day this week, and who gives a poo poo who gives a gently caress?

Someone with a twitter account should tweet him a link to one of AVGN's videos. He actually might get a kick of it if the video was really short and the game was really frustrating. Like Dragon's Lair, Power Glove, or TMNT.

Opie and Anthony loved him and they had him on their show.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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I just turned it on.

What did he say about Casey Anthony? Did he call her a broad?

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Alkaphanel posted:

I wanted to love that bit so much, and it was the first time since the Kendra saga that I've sat in the office parking lot and listened for an extra 15 minutes. It started to come off as a little forced, and really started to smell of a "work"

The midget is detached from reality for sure, but I dont think he's at the level of detachment where he thinks Athletics, Giants, UFC and WWE tickets are a reasonable demand, along with starring television roles and a carte blanche whorehouse trip, all in compensation for calling into a radio show.

I found it interesting that Pit Boss was willing to put him on, contingent that he call into the Stern Show. Thats kind of a unique promotion method and I was impressed.

This is how I felt listening to Sal getting hypnotized the other day on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0MkWfjV4F4 Sal being obsessed with Howard is such a great series of videos, but the hypnosis segment almost ruins them all. Because that has to be fake.

What's the consensus on how real or fake Sal was being in that time period?

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.
How often do Sal and Richard do prank phone calls today? I've never subscribed to Sirius, although I would now if Artie was still on and people said the show was still good, but the prank calls on youtube are by far the funniest I've heard the show be in the satellite era.

I was crying from laughing so hard the first time I discovered them on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzcwNhjHS_U&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMquBRTGhik&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOZYKaMQTL0

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.
I'm listening to the first week at Sirius for the first time. My god, is that not one of the funniest weeks they've ever done? JD losing his virginity and the crew ripping on JD for about a hour, George Takei falling for the Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator not once but twice, the constant sexual tension and jokes between Artie and George, everyone trying to figure out who had which revelation, Fred going berserk on Howard, messing with George using the fake George Takei audio clips..

quote:

Fun With George Takei Audio Clips. 01/12/06. 6:05am
Howard told George that they need him to do a bunch of recordings so they can use them for prank calls and stuff like that. Howard had him say ''Hi, this is George'' to start off. That led to them playing some of the clips that Richard Christy created using his audio book. Richard came in and asked George to say ''Uhura's cans hung real low'' but George didn't want to say that. They had him say some things that they can edit together into other things...
Knuckle deep.
Smells like fish.
Light skinned black woman.
Can I see.
Blow.
Wang chung.
Howard had a conversation with the audio clips they had. Fred played some of them as Howard asked some questions. They have clips of George saying things like...
My boyfriend's tool is 28 massive inches.
One night Bill Shatner plunged into a young teenager's black wang.
My boyfriend loves when my curved wang throbs.
The guys had some fun with the clips while George laughed his rear end off. Fred threw in some fart sounds when he'd talk about the gay stuff and George would laugh hysterically. He's got a great sense of humor and was almost inviting them to goof on him.

When the week is over, I may have to listen to it again.

Why don't they try to put George in the Artie chair?

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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The only time Jim Breuer should be on is when he's doing Joe Pesci impressions. That went on forever.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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How could you ever get tired listening to that voice and that laugh? That's not comprehendible.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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It's crazy to remember that she ran a marathon not even a year ago. She must have gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Cadence posted:

The Nick and Artie show is now available on iTunes, and I assume any other rss type thing you want to use to download the shows.

As others have said, the show is really fun, even if you do not follow sports.

Maybe the show will be more fun for me to listen to after the world series is over.

I downloaded the first hour on Thursday and it was just nonstop baseball talk. The only thing more boring than the sport of baseball is talking about baseball. I didn't get the references, the debates, or the jokes.

I enjoy the show when they're not talking about baseball. I wish there were some descriptions available of what they talked about each hour. Like Marksfriggin.com, which spared me from listening to Howard this week.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

Cliche Guevara posted:

Speaking of which (and I don't like to make posts like this), is there an ability to grab the episodes of Nick & Artie so I can edit them down for my personal listening to make them sports-talk free? It seems retarded, yes, but I'm just curious.

I tried a link on here pages ago and it's only the most recent eps that are available to download directly to disk, but iTunes is grabbing them from the site somehow and I'd like to know how...

Come on dude. You serious?
http://www.nickandartie.com/downloads.html

But if you do this, please post them here or upload them to youtube. I love them when they're not talking about sports. With some exceptions of course. The interview they did with the guy who wrote a book about Lebron being a whore was awesome and I think would be enjoyable even for non-sports people to listen to.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Sand Monster posted:

That depends. Are you a whore for reality television like what Howard must assume 99% of his audience is? If so, you've missed a tremendous amount.


I don't think it needs its own at this point.

Stern show thread, your thoughts?

I don't see a point to it. Anybody who's an Artie and Nick fan was a Stern fan at one point and probably wants to know if anything funny ever happens on Stern. Anybody who is a Stern fan cares about what Artie is doing and wants to know if Artie says anything funny.

I doubt anyone wants to have to read two separate threads when the one thread works fine.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Are there still no recaps of Nick and Artie like that marksfriggin.com site which recaps Howard Stern? I don't have 3 hours of day to listen to the radio. How do we know if we're missing something good? I'll usually listen to about 20 minutes a day on my ipod while I'm at the gym or something. A lot of it's pretty funny, but whenever it's serious football or baseball talk I immediately get bored and turn it off.

I liked when they were talking about Foghorn Leghorn about a month ago and that time Artie got angry as the topic of a 100 year old marathon runner was discussed. I'm glad I was listening then. I wish I could remember what day those were from.

If anyone catches an exceptionally funny hour or 10 minutes from them, post about it.

porkfriedrice posted:

This Ken Cole guy from Direct TV is getting annoying with the memos to Nick and Art to stay with the format and talk about sports more. When will these guys learn? How many people that listen to the show are actually tuning in to hear about sports? Not me, and I'm sure that goes for the majority of the fans.

Sports talk is totally the weak point of the show. I don't even know who they're talking about half the time. Then again.. I'm someone that doesn't even know who's in the superbowl this year.

After the superbowl, will that be the end of football/baseball talk for a few months? Please god.

some bust on that guy fucked around with this message at 23:31 on Feb 2, 2012

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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CortezFantastic posted:

You guys are such marks. You know how Eric is a big pro wrestling fan? He is just trying to act like a pro wrestling-like bad guy, because that's what gets reactions from people. I would say it'd been at least 3 years since Eric hasn't been trolling us.

Plus I really can't picture Howard spending so much time on him if it wasn't a bit he was in on. There's just no way Howard would let himself be treated like poo poo and keep doing nice things for Eric and keep talking to him on the phone for years if it wasn't some agreed upon bit. I can't buy it.

We all know from some of the fake phony phone calls that Howard's not above doing something fake to entertain the audience.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Just as I knew it would, the Nick and Artie show has become so good now that football season is over. Everyone listen to hour 3 of the Valentine Day's show for some hilarious ball busting between Nick and Artie and Kamal.

There's very little sports talk now. When there is, it's nothing deep. The joke now comes from them talking to a Chicago NBA sports analyst who mentions Derrick Rose in a story and Artie saying "Yeah, that's great. Who's Derrick Rose?"

Nick: "Coming up, we'll get the latest on whitney houston."
Artie: "Well... she's dead officially"
Nick: "Yeah, last time I checked, but who knows. Crazy things happen in hollywood."

Kevin Frasier: "It's kind of a curse to be the biggest artist in the world"
Artie: "Tell me about it."

Artie: "Jpeg me a request and I'll put it into accounting."

Nick: "This has been a bad black history month."
Artie: "Name a good one."

Artie: Things I'd rather do than get up at 9AM and watch the Chicago Blackhawks practice with Dan Falatto.

Pass a kidney stone
Find a hair in warm potato salad.
Try to give myself oral sex.. again.
Open for Carlos Mencia
Tweet something

Kamal: (After a few seconds of silence) Wow, it's like a lull came over here.
Artie: Don't pretend like you don't recognize awkward silences.

Nick: I hear Jeremy Lin's going aid one of the Knicks in the dunk contest.
Artie: What's he going to do? Sew his sneakers?
Nick: (Nervous laugh) Exactly, haha, I didn't want to say that.
Artie: They're going to chain him to a white tiger and make him sew Stoudemire's uniform.
Nick: I need a clean towel perfectly folded. Jeremy, get on that.

Artie: Linsanity is dying down in New York. You can tell. They lose to the Hornets and he'll be on a slow boat to Guam.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Hamburglar posted:

No joking, I'd love it if Sour Shoes sat in the studio for a day and did his Bababooey impression for an entire day (or week or lifetime). It's incredible.

Edit: Regarding the Nick and Artie show, if I don't like sports, should I still bother listening?

Look up that hour I mentioned earlier on their site, Feb 14th Hour 3, and tell me what you think. There's zero sports talk so if you find Artie's humor funny, the answer is yes.

Football's over. Baseball's over. Nick doesn't care about basketball or about any other sport. Artie claims to care about basketball but he doesn't know who Derrick Rose is and just recently found out that the Sonics aren't in the league anymore.

Caller: What has Kamal been doing in the last 20 years?
Artie: I tell you what he hasn't been doing: Cardio.

Artie: Don't let the last 23 years fool you. This guy's talented.

Artie: Nick knows how to handle a broad.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Caller: I have a question about the Kate Upton swimsuit issue. Does it still titillate.. like in this day and age where we're so desensitized? Oh you see Kate Upton's cleavage on the cover. Is that supposed to do something for me?

Artie: Good point. Do I buy the sports illustrated cover or do I press a button on my computer to watch a girl just as hot have sex with a horse?

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Mr Lance Murdock posted:

Its fairly common at roasts for comics to use jokes others write for them.
Artie has said before that some people are really good at writing roast jokes but their delivery is awful so they write for other comics.

That reminds me of the Ralph roast when Artie wrote the jokes for Ralph to say but he refused to do them. The comedians passed it around the room and tried to do Artie's jokes but kept loving it up because they didn't have Artie's delivery. Then Artie took over and he killed with it.

What a great day that was. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43vlSOGAmnU&feature=related

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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I listened to the beginning of N&A for about 30 minutes on Monday. It was mostly football talk, and I got bored of it, I'm sad to say. Other than that, I haven't listened all last week and this week. Did I miss anything good?

The best segments from N&A are now on youtube.

Artie and Kamal tearing each other apart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqrE1cGUvP4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2AyIaDxD6k

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Anyone listen to Nick Dipaolo's old Artie roast since the radio show? I didn't think much of it at the time because I didn't know who he was, it's a lot funnier now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5WkS5IdFbs#t=03m02s (3 minutes in if the timer doesn't work)

"You know what the best part of Robin's new boat is? She has a stern that she doesn't have to pretend is funny." has to be one of the best all time roast lines.

Then right after he asks if she'll name the boat the Cackling Whore, she cackles about as loud as I've ever heard her.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Szyznyk posted:

Artie's impression of Hitler nailing Robert Kardashian in the rear end while asking him about his daughters nailing black athletes is sports related.

What show was that on? Last night?

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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quote:

Aoki asked rhetorically, “How can you say you wanted your listeners to hear what drunk Ku Klux Klan members would say and not think it would offend people?"

After Aoki demanded a better on-air apology

God, what an rear end in a top hat. I guess if it was up to him, Daniel Carver would never be a mainstay on Howard Stern. Artie saying they wanted racist people to call up so they can make fun of them is a perfectly good explanation. (It may not be true but it sounds plausible enough)

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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As he said himself, without food jokes and bashing the gays, he's got nothing.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Caller: Can I say dry humping on radio? I just said it twice.
Nick: Yeah, it's after 10 o'clock. There's some rule where we allow that stuff. But don't mention Jeremy Lin. You'll get kicked off the air.

From last monday's show.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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chiz posted:

Probably a repost but I am watching this now, Artie coming out to Gerorge. It's the video version and it is so much better with the video. Also I didn't know how close George and Artie sat next to eachother. Also, also Artie stuffing his face in the beginning is hilarious as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=zbwxJ6TyOd8


edit; George : "There is no bottom here is there"

This was in the sidebar. Artie falling asleep during the news.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaS6uW3Eakg&feature=relmfu

It manages to be both really funny and really disturbing at the same time.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Manifest posted:

Does anyone have the clip where Gilbert does his Obama impersonation?
I need it to help settle an argument about when racism is and isn't funny.

Would you call this funny or unfunny?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5PoBv6D1go#t=1m10s

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Szyznyk posted:

I prefer the KC "He's a beefcake queer with a homo history..." version by Richard Christie.

I'm more partial to the classic "Sticking Things in My Twat" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_DPkn8so-s mostly because it actually sounds like Pat Benatar, which is hilarious.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Crotch Bat posted:

I totally forgot they had Shirley Phelps and 2 of her kids on the Vegas Hollyweird Squares. Wonder if those 2 grew up to leave the church, I know some have(they were elementary school aged here).

They did. They were the two women that left this year. Sad that they had to endure 10 more years of brainwashing before they left but at least they left.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUodXla-ZFg Aforementioned 2003 Hollyweird Squares video

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/30/westboro-megan-phelps-roper_n_4177166.html
https://medium.com/turning-points/83d2ef8ba4f5

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Holy Calamity! posted:

This is incredible. Can't believe I've never seen it before. Gilbert and Artie are killing me.

Gilbert: Can I get a round of applause for killing Christ?

I laughed my rear end off when Phelps and Daniel Carver started to debate over bible quotes. Why don't they do crazy stuff like this anymore?

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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mrfreeze posted:

I recommend when Gilbert was on Sirius and him and Artie were making fun of Steve Irwin dying during the news. It was when they were planning to give his daughter a show, and I remember Gilbert said something so offensive about her they dumped it on satellite. God I miss Gilbert and Artie during the news...

This is it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4m4KTyA5sg&t=407s 6m47s for safari users
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jFY7_vbBh4

The absolute peak of the show is every Gilbert appearance with Artie on satellite.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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I'm to '95, which is close to 48 hours worth. I have some long distance drives. I was going to delete any that I didn't find all that funny. But I only deleted 1 out of 42 so far. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I'll put one on and instantly start laughing.

There's so much hidden comedy gold in this.

Listen to this one where Gilbert and Howard are torturing some German broadcasters for an hour with World War 2 and holocaust jokes and tell me if it's not one of the funniest Stern hours you've ever heard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C74g6ICfBOM&t=2280s

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Those of you listening to the Gilbert pack, his 1991-04-05 appearance doesn't seem be in it. The classic one where Howard and Gilbert leave a message on Jerry Seinfeld's answering machine. Unless I deleted it by mistake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzymloefZXk

After listening to this for the hundredth time, I have to know. Has Gilbert and Jerry ever been on Howard together? Have Gilbert and Jerry done anything together? Searching for their names on youtube, you just get Gilbert doing impressions.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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This is where they discussed and argued over the Afghanistan meltdown on the show, as well as Artie lying about the therapist. Artie claimed that his family would have been affected negatively if he told the truth. His mom and sister were comforted thinking he was getting help. i can understand that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stIm6ljOJTo

Actually, listening to the Artie stuff in replays is always fascinating in retrospect because you know it's real. On the opposite of this are the hypnotism bits and Eric the Midget. I hate every time Eric is on and just change my radio station now because it feels like it's almost definitely a bit. Real Eric knows he has to act like that to be on the show. If he didn't, no one would want to talk to him. Howard did an act of unbelievably kindness by giving Eric purpose in life and making him into a celebrity. But it's boring to listen to knowing that. With Artie though, you know his issues and his anger isn't pretend.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Cliche Guevara posted:

But when you listen to replays of any show from 2009 it's extremely tedious because way WAYYYYYY too much time is spent on Artie being sick. "What's wrong with Artie", "is he or isn't he", etc....goes on for hours. In the words of Casey Kasem, it's ponderous man. Fuckin ponderous.


I'd rather that than ADT talk.

Or Eric the Midget talk. Or cat talk. I'm assuming there's more of the last two than in 2009.

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some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

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Irish Joe posted:

Gilbert's podcast is hit or miss, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh hysterically at Gilbert and Billy's holocaust chat.

At what point during the podcast does that happen?

I just listened to every Gilbert appearance on Howard from 1987 to 1997. About 50 hours worth. But even I couldn't make it through 20 minutes of his podcast. Either I don't know the guys he's interviewing, I'm not getting the references, or more serious Gilbert isn't that appealing to listen to.

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