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 You Are The Ref is a British footballing comic series currently published weekly in the Guardian. Each strip presents the ref (you) with a series of unusual or difficult refereeing decisions which you must solve, usually along with a cool illustration of a different top footballer every week. Strips are typically posted on the Guardian website on Fridays, with the answers going up the following Monday. The interesting thing about YATR is that there's no definitive 'right' answer, rather you get the view of a Top Former Referee who tells you what he'd do in the situations outlined. Unfortunately the Top Former Referee is Keith Hackett, so feel free to disagree with him. Have fun and remember: Punching Gary Neville in the face is always an acceptable answer. This week's questions, with bonus Giant Dirk Kuyt Head: 
the sex ghost fucked around with this message at 13:53 on Jan 14, 2011 |
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Jan 14, 2011 13:46
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| # ? May 4, 2024 18:05 |
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SteadfastMeat posted:Punching Gary Neville in the face is always an acceptable answer.  Umm.
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Jan 14, 2011 13:48
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Be warned that chuggo has the book 1) Goal stands 2) Beat up the captain to show them who's boss 3) Red card for the defender
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Jan 14, 2011 13:48
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luvd posted:Umm. I hope someone punches Busfield in the face
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Jan 14, 2011 13:49
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good thread btw
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Jan 14, 2011 13:52
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luvd posted:
In this forum punching Gary Neville in his stupid loving rat face will always be an acceptable answer.
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Jan 14, 2011 13:55
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T. Finn posted:In this forum punching Gary Neville in his stupid loving rat face will always be an acceptable answer. Haha. 1) Goal 2) Tell them you're going to tell on them if one of them doesn't take it and to man up. 3) Red card and free kick.
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Jan 14, 2011 13:58
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In a match between Birmingham City and Liverpool a Birmingham player is brought down in the penalty area Do you a)Award a penalty to Manchester United? b) Consult with your linesman before awarding a penalty to Manchester United? c)Send off the goalkeeper and award a penalty to Manchester United?
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Jan 14, 2011 13:59
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1) Goal stands, the keeper should have been concentrating on the ball and not some naked bird on the other side of the pitch 2) If they straight up refuse to take the penalty it's a booking for dissent and a free kick to the other team maybe? Of course if they already think you're biased and then you start handing out bookings at the end of the game and they're already 3-0 down you might get Gary Nevilled 3) Straight red, I think. He's the last man and it's a clear goalscoring opportunity. Free kick to the attacking team
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Jan 14, 2011 14:00
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i've always wondered: does this count? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJCG_g4EI6c&feature=fvw
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Jan 14, 2011 14:00
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An Italian fascist gets mad and jostles you slightly. What do you do
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Jan 14, 2011 14:01
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nervana posted:i've always wondered: Yes
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Jan 14, 2011 14:04
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Jan 14, 2011 14:05
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Number 3 seems way more straightforward than these usually are - what is the complication meant to be?
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Jan 14, 2011 14:13
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peanut- posted:Number 3 seems way more straightforward than these usually are - what is the complication meant to be? you have to get around Dirk Kuyt's giant loving head
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Jan 14, 2011 14:14
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peanut- posted:Number 3 seems way more straightforward than these usually are - what is the complication meant to be? Some nonsense about it not being a red card if it's in your own half. Also the massive head thing.
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Jan 14, 2011 14:16
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Also this thread made me look at the LOAF and I never realised before that if you put the ball into your own net directly from a free kick, it only counts as a corner to the opposing team.
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Jan 14, 2011 14:16
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I want a viral campaign involving naked girls running onto pitches with YATR questions strapped around their boobs.
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Jan 14, 2011 14:23
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I once refereed a game between 3 drunk men and also own my own cosplay referee kit so be sure that I will be following this thread with interest and you can refer to me for the definitive answer on any situation.
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Jan 14, 2011 14:23
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nervana posted:i've always wondered: I'd give a yellow for unsportsmanlike behaviour. It's no different than kicking the ball out of the keeper's hand when he's about to drop kick it.
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Jan 14, 2011 18:14
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Tsaedje posted:I'd give a yellow for unsportsmanlike behaviour. It's no different than kicking the ball out of the keeper's hand when he's about to drop kick it. you must be joking. he put the ball down, so it's in play
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Jan 14, 2011 18:51
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Top Class
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Tsaedje posted:I'd give a yellow for unsportsmanlike behaviour. It's no different than kicking the ball out of the keeper's hand when he's about to drop kick it. No it isn't (also that latter thing was not illegal either for ages, there was a phoenix from the flames where george best scored like that but it was disallowed for no reason)
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Jan 14, 2011 19:08
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I had a YATR desk calendar in work last year, it loving owned. I want a 2011 one now.  Some of the Trevillion drawings in it were hilarious.
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Jan 14, 2011 20:09
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irlZaphod posted:I had a YATR desk calendar in work last year, it loving owned. I want a 2011 one now. I can't remember which one but an animation studio holds classes to draw action like trevillion
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Jan 14, 2011 20:09
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I think #3 is a yellow, it's too far away to be considered a goalscoring opportunity? But idk.
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Jan 14, 2011 20:11
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Nikolai Fuckharin posted:I can't remember which one but an animation studio holds classes to draw action like trevillion
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Jan 14, 2011 20:12
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irlZaphod posted:I hope they don't teach to draw black people like Trevillion, because I kinda feel like most of his are fairly borderline racist looking. lol no just demonstration of action, line of movement and stuff like that
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Jan 14, 2011 20:14
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As the lone Gary Neville supporter on these forums I'm disgusted by the OP and Forum Administrator T. Finn's comments ITT(in this thread).
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Jan 14, 2011 21:30
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You are the ref in a wrestling match. Someone brushes lightly against you, do you a)Stay on your feet and call the rest of the match as per normal? b)Disqualify them for attacking an official? c)Be knocked prone only to miraculously recover in time to count the pinfall?
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Jan 14, 2011 21:43
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The only correct answer is c. I would also add d) pretend you have had a massive stroke from the contact, forcing another ref to come in and count the pinfall.
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Jan 14, 2011 21:57
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Shrapnac posted:As the lone Gary Neville supporter on these forums I'm disgusted by the OP and Forum Administrator T. Finn's comments ITT(in this thread). punch Gary Neville in the face.
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Jan 15, 2011 01:52
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Nikolai Fuckharin posted:You are the ref in a wrestling match. Someone brushes lightly against you, do you d) fast count. im earl hebner bitch
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Jan 15, 2011 01:53
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Shrapnac posted:As the lone Gary Neville supporter on these forums I'm disgusted by the OP and Forum Administrator T. Finn's comments ITT(in this thread). I recommend seeing a therapist about that
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Jan 15, 2011 01:54
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Iggy Pop Barker posted:d) fast count. im earl hebner bitch booooooooooooooooooooooooo. You screwed bret.
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Jan 15, 2011 01:56
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1) Goal stands. Keeper's attitude to staring at naked chicks, while commendable, should perhaps be kept outwith working hours. 2) Abandon the match, report the matter to the FA, and watch as everyone agrees you did the right thing in law. This will of course be a huge consolation to you as you spend the next 6 months refereeing Blue Square games. 3) Red card and a free kick. Unless the attacker was Emile Heskey. Even with an empty net, it's still not an obvious goalscoring opportunity.
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Jan 15, 2011 18:26
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1) Ask the assistants on details from the streaker, disallow goal when juggs were big enough to provide a distraction. 2) Ball drop-in in the box, whistle for full-time as soon as contact has been made. 3) Dirk Kuyt. (Tactical foul, booking)
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Jan 16, 2011 02:24
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1) Take down the streakers number in your little book and have her sent to your changing room after the game. Goal stands. 2) Take the penalty yourself, miss hilariously and sprint the length of the pitch pumping your arms and yelling like a drug-addled Diego Maradona. Then blow for full time. 3) Abandon the match due to the gigantic Dirk Kuyt threatening to devour the stadium.
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Jan 16, 2011 03:31
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The thing with 3) is that the rule, as far as I know, gives the referee a lot of subjective leeway in how to interpret a "clear" goal-scoring opportunity. In other words, there's no "right" answer. The last defender, attacking half rules are mere rules of thumb. If the forward was Emile Heskey like Semprini suggested, it might be an actual, valid reason to not give the red card, since it's not a clear goal-scoring opportunity!
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Jan 16, 2011 03:50
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Emile Heskey is bad at football!
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Jan 17, 2011 02:48
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Evenn if the player is a goalkeeper and historically bad at 1 on 1's you're dumb if you even suggest otherwise.
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Jan 17, 2011 02:53
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