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I'm kind of fond of <REDACTED>, even if the joke stopped being funny a hundred pages ago. We've come this far already. From a more practical angle though I would suggest "Sappers" or "Saboteurs" because it's a boring enough designation that gets the point across. Which, in my book, is a good designation.
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Jun 2, 2011 06:28
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That... was fast. This does not bode well for the Comgees.
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Jun 3, 2011 03:37
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PoptartsNinja posted:So yes, I 'forced' people to vote for it, and still gave you the option of dealing with something else hugely important (at the expense of a fun joke mission created by a player). So it was a vs. Death Commandos mission, then!
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Jun 3, 2011 05:43
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UberJew posted:This is a brilliant idea But what if the 'mechs can't kick high enough? In order to bring a 'mech's foot to head and torso level barring an elevation difference, wouldn't you need something more drastic? On that note, please don't DFA each other in an attempt to magnetize the Elementals.
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Jun 4, 2011 08:33
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This battle demonstrates two things: One, in a game where you can focus fire on a target that takes more than one or two hits to bring down, it's probably a good idea to do so. Splitting fire just means it takes longer to take one of the targets out of the battle and that means there's more people attacking at you over a longer period of time. This is also good to know when playing RTSes or any tactical RPG. The Battletech vets probably all already knew this, and PTN is probably refraining from focusing fire intentionally just to give the Goonlance a fighting chance in any given mission. Two, Elementals. 
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Jun 6, 2011 00:39
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ShadowDragon8685 posted:I don't know what the f**k I just watched, but it made me laugh. Venture Bros. tends to have that effect on people.
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Jun 6, 2011 09:28
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Notgothic posted:That doesn't make a bit of sense, but then again, Battletech. The idea that surgeons shouldn't implant dangerous muscle augmentations in someone's face is Lostech.
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Jun 6, 2011 12:13
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Nevets posted:This is truly a great victory for Lyran engineering.
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Jun 8, 2011 02:00
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My god. Could the ComGuards actually pull this off? And could the other Clanners be convinced to have another 3vs1 go like poor Mechwarrior Twilight here?
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Jun 12, 2011 06:59
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Affi posted:well my dad could beat up your dad You know, next half of the mission, one of the ComGuards ought to say this to the Clanners. Just fit that into the orders, "PTN: My orders are to stay put and say this line. Feel free to add a poo poo-eating grin in the fluff."
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Jun 18, 2011 10:15
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If I may submit the following modifications:DivineCoffeeBinge posted:The Clanner response: "Neg! My dad is a canister! He is made of, like, steel and stuff! Quiaff Isorla Batchall etc." I hope I got it right. Still new to
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Jun 18, 2011 10:36
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The Clans might look down on the IS for being practically medieval, but for a culture ostensibly designed to cut down on waste they seem awfully eager to ritually kill themselves off for petty reasons and cycle out more skilled and experienced warriors out of combat roles and into garrison duty. That said, I still maintain that it is the solemn duty of every Inner Sphere Mechwarrior commander to reply to every threat made by a Clanner with, "That's what your mom said last night." Along with various other taunts that basically amount to calling them Freebirths without actually saying so.
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Jun 18, 2011 13:46
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PoptartsNinja posted:I'm paying closer attention to balance this time around, since Part 1 was less balanced than I'd originally calculated. Wait. I thought that was intentional. 
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Jun 20, 2011 06:30
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With our luck? Hunchback IIC for Clan MVP, it'll take out at least two ComGuards. And we will have only PTN's dice to blame.
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Jun 21, 2011 03:24
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Goonlance, you are the Crab. BE the Crab. By which I mean you're ComGuards, and in this timeline their unofficial mascot is obviously the crab whether they like it or not. And by Blake's bearskin bathrobe they'd better like it. I mean, even ComStar's logo kinda looks like a horseshoe crab which if not meaningful is at least kind of funny. And so long as the phones keep ringing, the ComGuards give no fucks. Now look at Clan Hell's Horses. While the pilot of the fake crab has a Bloodname, those quads are the real X-factor of the scenario. Because they're ponies. Also sympathies in the thread might be divided and that's understandable. Because they're ponies. But gentlemen, you pilots will have to set aside any external sentiments and grab victory for the sake of the Inner Sphere. It's been a long time since Goonlance has won a mission whose objectives didn't involve literally getting our asses handed to us. And by us I mean you guys. No, you other guys. Honestly, it's a little hard keeping track and it's a very large pilot list. But that's beside the point, and also a collection of names. So sally forth! Blow some poo poo up, and not the poo poo you're not supposed to blow up because that would be horrible and funny but still horrible. You are the king crustaceans. Give no fucks, for you should expect none. It's high time some poor ponies caught a bad case... ...of the seafood allergy. Runa fucked around with this message at 01:58 on Jun 23, 2011 |
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Jun 23, 2011 01:56
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Mukaikubo posted:You mean the ponymechs are going to devour the Comguard, and only after they are dead and gone suffer some slight and shortlived consequences? Is it better or worse that my original idea was to imply that the Clanners would have to rub piperonyl butoxide on their no-no-places after the battle? Also the Lyran industrialist is right! I've a friend who's deathly afraid of accidentally ingesting anything that's touched shellfish. Scary thing is, allergies in the population seem to be becoming more common as time goes on, not less. Our children are the future, and the future apparently has an immune system that is a BIG JERK. Runa fucked around with this message at 02:51 on Jun 23, 2011 |
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Jun 23, 2011 02:48
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Zikan posted:Space Surfboards That are on fire.
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Jun 23, 2011 04:22
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And that, gentlemen, is why the Davions have been compensating so much.
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Jun 28, 2011 01:27
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Longinus00 posted:So what's that got to do with the HBIIC? I'm hoping this is a real hiccup of reading comprehension and not a poker-faced joke. Because actually breaking it down would make it less funny. Wait, no, I got that backwards. EDIT: Well, the way you worded the replied-to post implied that terrain would be an issue for the Hunchback. Runa fucked around with this message at 06:49 on Jun 28, 2011 |
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Jun 28, 2011 06:46
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ShadowDragon8685 posted:I want to see some mother-humping CARNAGE! Tastefully narrated and annotated, of course.
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Jun 28, 2011 07:00
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GhostStalker posted:Wow, that's certainly a thing... Death of a Thousand Paper Cuts. This is what everyone meant when they said "sandpaper." You could carve a statue with that thing. Of a duke even. Barring some more hilarious luck, though, the CrabGuard could possibly gang up, close in, and down it without actually losing anybody. Not escaping unscathed, though, and ultra-high-speed erosion is nothing to scoff at.
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Jun 29, 2011 04:57
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GhostStalker posted:Oh man, a mule kick from one of the Quads would be awesome to watch. With their improved Justice Foot, can the CrabGuard even stand a chance of continuing to Give no Fucks? Based on reports from the front, bearers of these surname-like titles, "Bloodnames," are certainly a concern to the Crustaceantor Martial. Especially those Clanners who bear the Bloodname Dash. In order to break Clan Hell's Horses morale, I recommend we reach deep into our records and reveal the lostech that ought remain lost. Before the ravages of the Successor Wars, before the rise of the treacherous Amaris, there was something far more horrible. My Little Pony. Generation One. the ares convention doesn't apply to the clans, right?
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Jun 29, 2011 06:30
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Now this is neither Gundam nor Battletech, but I just wanted to know: If a 'Mech with a sword (I've checked sarna, such things apparently exist) managed to--by some contrivance or creative shenanigans--successfully ride another 'Mech that happened to be a quad and the quad made a Charge attack, would the sword-wielding 'Mech also count as Charging and could it leverage its sword to add to the damage? Considering there's a rule for nearly everything, I'm wondering if something like this might be if not practical then at least be somehow possible and if reasonable assumptions based on other, more mechanically established situations could be made and rolled for. Basically, I'm saying I'd like to see the GoonLance go up against these guys someday.
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Jun 30, 2011 01:04
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Mukaikubo posted:Also no, because there's really not even a basis for either riding mechs or movement acting as a force multiplier on weapons damage in the rules. So close combat damage is purely a function of weight, then. Welp, there goes that flight of fancy.
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Jun 30, 2011 01:40
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PoptartsNinja posted:The 80 ton quad ran six hexes, including a turn and a hill. It's a 5/8. Uh, so how fast is the average Assault 'Mech in this day and age anyway?
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Jun 30, 2011 03:47
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Wait, Combine forces know how to focus fire?
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Jun 30, 2011 11:23
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PoptartsNinja posted:Only one thing in my last post was an actual clan weapon/tactic. See if you can find it. Now, I'll admit that aside from this thread and the MW games, I have no real experience with Battletech. So, Defiance or Muk can correct me if I'm wrong, but with a bit of investigation and a few cross-references to sarna I think I've managed to snag the scoop. This relates to Clan Diamond Shark's infamous River Dragon Omnimech, something you old BT veterans are probably rolling your eyes at right now. I don't know anything about how it plays on tabletop but I've heard things and what I've heard will inevitably color this report. As PoptartsNinja would tell you, to begin I would have to start with the SLDF's Gauss Flail, a variant Gauss Rifle designed to fire absurdly large, magnetically-bonded fragmentary slugs at subsonic speeds. While devastatingly powerful, combining a total damage output far exceeding an Ultra AC/20 and with the armor-vexing scatter effect of an LBX autocannon, the lower barrel velocity and poor ballistics of the Flail-slug limited the effective range of the Flail to less than 300m, with damage output dropping as range increased. By reducing the size of the projectile and the number of bonded fragments to a mere six "flanges" and one core "shaft," Clan Diamond Shark's engineers managed to produce a lighter and much more stable projectile--the fearsome and infamous Gauss Mace. While less powerful than the Gauss Flail, the Mace seemed promising with a single-shot close range damage output exceeding an AC/20 and an effective range not far below that of the original Gauss Rifle. The unique design of the Mace slug allowed for a system of equal mass and size to the Gauss Rifle to effectively deliver a larger, heavier slug without the crushing recoil of larger, later IS-made systems of similar concept. This came at the cost of increased heat but not nearly as much as comparable Autocannon. Like the Flail, however, the peculiar design of the gigantic ferrobonded Mace slug both reduced the damage the Gauss Mace would deal at range and ensured that it would be plagued with ammo shortages--a state of affairs exacerbated by the inability to split the weapon and its ammo storage into different parts of the 'Mech's body, again a consequence of the slug's design. The exposure and arrangement of the Gauss capacitors, too, proved problematic as a single hit to the core components of the Gauss Mace would generate a devastating explosion of force roughly double that of the basic Gauss Rifle. Originally, the Diamond Sharks had intended for their experimental Maces to be sold to Clan Ghost Bear, whose vicious infighting tactics and expertise would put the Gauss Mace to good use. However, the Ghost Bears balked at the prototype version of the weapon, citing its prohibitive size, the unfortunate limitations on ammo feed, and the potentially catastrophic fragility of the Gauss Mace itself as reasons not to field it. Even after most of the drawbacks of the Mace were addressed, only Clans Fire Mandrill and Blood Spirit purchased Gauss Maces in any significant number. That is, until a Trial of Grievance between bitter rivals Star Colonel Ragnar Tseng of Clan Ghost Bear and the exceptionally gifted--though unfortunately freeborn--Star Commander Marisa of Clan Diamond Shark saw the improved Gauss Mace put to the field. While Ragnar chose to pilot a customized Kodiak, his opponent elected to pilot that commonly-overlooked Diamond Shark peculiarity, the River Dragon (IS reporting name: "Great Dane"). Redesigning the old Woodsman Omnimech into an Assault platform for their improved Gauss Mace, Diamond Shark engineers upsized its chassis to 80 tons and increased the size of its already distressingly large XL Engine to give it a healthy amount of mobility for a close-combat Assault Omni. The standard configuration, which Star Commander Marisa piloted, replaced the Woodsman's LRM-15s with LRM-5s, removed its Machine Guns in favor of ER Small Lasers, and removed all but one ERML along with its pod-mounted double heatsinks. In place of its two ERLLs, the River Dragon was equipped with two Gauss Maces. Common knowledge among the Clans was that the standard River Dragon was a comical misuse of resources, relegated to second-line status or salvaged for spare parts whenever taken as isorla. However, Clan Diamond Shark saw great potential in their design and for this particular Trial sought to showcase the true value of their spectacular flop in an exhibition for all the Clans to see. Special concessions were made with the Grand Council to refit Marisa's chosen River Dragon with larger ammo containers for the Gauss Maces. With a larger, bulkier canister, even a single Mace would become an effective area-denial repellent against traditional Ghost Bear tactics, much less a pair of Maces. During the actual Trial, Star Commander Marisa managed to hold Star Colonel Ragnar Tseng at bay for nearly an hour, using superior mobility and the local terrain to confound his efforts at closing the distance between the two. With a slight advantage between the maximum ranges of her primary weapons and the maximum range of Ragnar Tseng's ER Large Laser, Marisa severely battered him with Maces and missiles while taking little damage in return. Eventually, though, he finally managed to corner her and brought the full brunt of his Kodiak's weapons to bear. What actually happened once they were both in close range, however, took everyone by surprise.  Pictured: The last thing Star Colonel Ragnar Tseng ever saw, a screaming mass of six-flanged death wreathed in the self-immolated corpse of the atmosphere's sound barrier flying straight at his cockpit. Following the Trial, the Clans were greatly impressed by the River Dragon's performance, including Clan Ghost Bear. (It goes without saying that all credit went to the 'Mech itself and not its pilot, however capable she was.) Clan Diamond Shark's strange pet project had finally found a place in the toumans of many of those Clans which would eventually take part in the great Invasion of the Inner Sphere. Clan Ghost Bear, in particular, fielded a large number of River Dragons piloted by their bravest and craftiest--though, it should be noted, not in its standard configuration. As restitution for slaying one of their valuable Bloodnamed Mechwarriors over a petty personal duel, the Diamond Sharks gave the Ghost Bears a full Trinary's worth of River Dragons as a gift, an act of goodwill that ensured the Clans' close ties to this day. During the Clan Invasion, Clan Wolf fielded few River Dragons but to great effect. FedCom (or, specifically, Lyran) analysts were wont to compare the fearsome Omnimech to the great Danish vikings who ravaged and raided the seas of old Europe in ages past, hence its Inner Sphere designation. The Free Rasalhague Republic, on the other hand, weren't nearly as romantic in their opinions toward the 'Mech, which they referred to as a great big son of a bitch. During the FedCom civil war, Clan Diamond Shark managed to sell large numbers of River Dragons to the Great Houses and many mercenary commands, though most configurations designed for sale in the Inner Sphere dropped one of the Gauss Maces in favor of weapons capable of more sustainable fire. The dual-Mace stock configuration was fairly popular in spite of this, however, thanks to the logic that, "If it's Clan-made, it has to be good!" For what it's worth, they found that aside from the Clan Gauss Maces, replacement parts were easy enough to convert to IS omni tech. The Omnimech's signature arm pods, on the other hand, had to be purchased straight from the Diamond Sharks themselves. IS-made Gauss Maces are as bulky as prototype Gauss Maces and refitting Clan-made River Dragons to mount them is a costly affair, one which calls for IS technicians to make a lot of sacrifices. More recently, the Lyrans and the Combine have had better success reverse-engineering this technology in order to build Omnimechs designed for IS Gauss Maces from scratch. The fearsome Hauptmann "Config SCBY" replaces its LBX-AC/20 and drops a few other things in order to mount just a single Gauss Mace, but it's regarded as a sacrifice well worth it. The Seiten Taisei, known outside of the Combine as the Monkey King (even by the Capellans), boasts 100-tons of incomparable area-denial power, mounting two enormous IS Gauss Maces, two PPCs, and a Small Laser on its forehead. Not to be outdone, the FedSuns' own Scrappeur Deux Medium 'Mech is best described as a very fast, hard-hitting, extremely irritating Gauss Mace with legs. Despite its long and curious history, much of the River Dragon's current infamy can be traced to the exploits of a single mercenary unit. A small and unconventional command staffed by young--if curiously skilled and amazingly lucky--troubleshooting, mystery mercenaries called Freddie's Caravaneers has earned more than their fair share of recognition for the exploits of their lone River Dragon. As this remains their only Clan Omnimech and the most valuable 'Mech on the roster, its shaggy, cowardly, unkempt glutton of a pilot is loathe to see it damaged and spends many of his battles fleeing, hiding, or building improbably large sandwiches. Inevitably, however, circumstances conspire to see that very River Dragon smack dab in the thick of it, taking on impossible odds and somehow managing to come out on top--always unmasking conspirators, pantsing pirates, manhandling criminals, and persistently meddling in various villains' affairs again and again. However, seeing as how the LP's timeline diverges pretty dramatically from the canon timeline, I'm not sure where the River Dragon fits in. Clan Goliath Scorpion is the closest thing to a Clan Wolf out of all the 3025-Invasion Clans so they're probably the best bet to see them in action. I'm also certain PTN could probably reconfigure a custom Clan Omnimech to mount one or two Gauss Maces. Those would be pretty painful and I salute any member of Goonlance willing to stare them down. FAKEREAL EDIT:I spent only an hour and a half on that doodle and nearly four hours writing this EVEN MORE EDIT:Since I actually did a bit more research and got hold of a custom 'Mech maker, changed the fluff so it might actually reflect something playable, if technically fan-made rubbish at any rate. Runa fucked around with this message at 03:49 on Jul 4, 2011 |
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Jul 3, 2011 12:15
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It's gonna turn into a turkey shoot and the ComGuards are wearing feathers. A quick refresher to Sarna (since I'm pretty sure these were mentioned before) would indicate that Goonlance is about to be swarmed by flying ERLLs who also poop missiles. Good times. Rushing in is probably the last thing you guys wanna do depending on where those choppers pop up. This isn't a timed mission, is it? If you could get individual Clanners to think with their Honor rather than their brains and rush ahead of the rest of their team that'd be good. When one guy's in your firing range and you're not in range of the bulk of theirs you'd be putting the HPG interference to work for you rather than them. Everybody posted:Encouraging things. Thanks guys! When PTN made that off-hand joke I was suddenly taken by a fey mood. I've fixed things up to make some logical sense given the rules in hopes of someday seeing a Great Dane breaking some poor Goon in the face. Along the same lines, I've also gussied up some draft rules in Solaris Skunk Werks. PoptartsNinja, would you mind terribly if I sent you what I'd come up with? However, while I'm glad you guys liked what I'd managed to wrangle up, I'm somewhere between amused and disappointed that nobody seems to have found the post very funny. Whenever I do buried jokes and obtuse puns I always wind up falling flat. Maybe I oughta work on that. Runa fucked around with this message at 04:22 on Jul 4, 2011 |
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Jul 4, 2011 04:19
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Xmas Future posted:We cannot sit back and let them come to use one by one if PTN plays smart, and there's no reason to think he won't. Well, PTN did imply the Clanners might be vulnerable to manipulation if the players play their cards right. Unfortunately you're right in that they've got a serious advantage. The entire valley between the HPG and the riverside bluff is a killzone and it doesn't look like anyone's going to be in position to hop into the river canyon for cover. If we could, though, that canyon looks to be the only reliable way to muck with their LOS. The problem with it is that unless provoked the Clanners'll wait for our guys to come to them rather than the other way around. Runa fucked around with this message at 04:48 on Jul 4, 2011 |
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Jul 4, 2011 04:45
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elitebuster posted:If it was me, I'd be more pleased that we took it seriously, and that is mostly because of the quality of the writing and the art. I mean, compare what you wrote to the Rotary Laser, which I quite honestly expected to contain the word "Lazar" at least once. First instinct: "Wait, don't we already have pulse lasers?" I guess somebody must've been dissatisfied with how PLs abstract the rate of fire concept. And I'm glad to hear the post is apparently worth taking seriously, even if it is an overly elaborate setup to a silly cartoon reference with a bear-repellent pepper spray joke tucked in there somewhere. But I guess if FASA can include Dr. Buckaroo Banzai into canon with a straight face, I don't suppose it's fair if someone decides to take it completely seriously when I posit the existence of an elite mercenary unit based on Scooby-Doo. EDIT: If you don't want to read the spoiler, then just replace every instance of River Dragon in the last paragraph of that post with its IS reporting name. I actually prefer IS reporting names for everything not named by the DCMS, they're usually if not more evocative then at least a bit quirkier than the real Clan designations. Runa fucked around with this message at 06:13 on Jul 4, 2011 |
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Jul 4, 2011 06:00
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Defiance Industries posted:Of course we don't have one, do we? We had one in space but then we got mugged.
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Jul 4, 2011 07:45
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Arquinsiel posted:Random poo poo. Mechs have hands partially because the original fluff often had the mission objective be "go to this planet and grab all their kegs of water". Hand Actuators, a fine investment. 
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Jul 6, 2011 02:06
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elitebuster posted:It's a Gundam, and a stupidly designed one at that. Don't diss the 'stache, man.  But seriously I do like Turn A Gundam's mobile suit art direction the most out of the entire franchise. I think it looks distinctive and bucks the trend against the rest of the Gundams which, a few outliers aside, start to blend together into a samey mass after a while. Though this case of unpopular and idiosyncratic personal taste is also why I try not to judge the derpier 'Mech designs.
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Jul 6, 2011 07:08
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Well against those Donars, perhaps a gently caress or two can be given. If not by the by King of Crabs, then at least his royal retinue.
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Jul 10, 2011 11:00
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Aside from the Donars, that Gaussback was number 2 on the priority hit list. Would need to consider how much damage it could do over time if the turn was scrapped compared to taking the fudged damage now and leaving it. On the other hand your Starslayer took some hits that rolled a bit above the bell curve and the Flashman got hamstrung. I'm leaning against letting the Hunchback live though, another instant kill is extremely unlikely. EDIT: Fixed some wording because I'm daft. Runa fucked around with this message at 04:52 on Jul 11, 2011 |
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Jul 11, 2011 04:40
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Well now we've gone and done it. The GM giveth and the GM taketh away. This oughta learn us not to get greedy.
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Jul 12, 2011 03:08
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Chronojam posted:All those times when Morgan's mech was actually destroyed, an argument over a technicality broke out, the turn was anulled, and it somehow made it into canon. Word of the legendary Phantom Gaussback incident would spread throughout the Clan invasion corridor like wildfire. CrabGuard, on the other hand, gave no fucks.
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Jul 12, 2011 04:07
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I feel like using Clan tech is a bit like taking a jet engine to a soapbox derby.
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Jul 12, 2011 04:48
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The suspense! I love and hate it. But though we're all eager to see what's cooking, don't feel the need to rush on our account. We can be patient while the last layer of polish dries. Also go, Xmas, leverage more of your gender indeterminate firepower. What could possibly go wrong? 
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Jul 13, 2011 03:38
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Grand Fromage posted:I trust Cardassians. Not you assholes. He's almost definitely not a spy.
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Jul 13, 2011 06:35
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