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I'm 13 weeks and wanted to just drop in and say, thank you all for being sane. I made the mistake of browsing a few other pregnancy forums and I really can't believe how much stupidity/craziness/etc is out there. On the plus side, I did see a thread titled, 'wait, so how do you get Chlamydia?'  so uh that sure is a thing
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Sep 19, 2018 19:27
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Nessa posted:Well, I hope it doesn’t get too bad for me in that regard. Our sex life revolves pretty much entirely around my breasts. It’s kind of a fetish for my husband I think? I’m sure things will be fine and he’ll be able to cope with it... but I might have to talk with him more about changes we might have to make. YMMV, but my breasts hurt like a bitch all through the first trimester, like to the point where I couldn't hardly dry them off after a shower because my nips were so sensitive and pointy. Before pregnancy my boobs were so insensitive that I could run around with them bouncing carelessly in the breeze with no problems even though they're a little big for such childish nonsense. I'm currently about halfway through the second trimester and they're still more sensitive than they've ever been in my entire life, like (sorry, TMI) a bite during sex that would have been fine pre-pregnancy has taken them out of commission for two days for recovery. Also they feel loving weird all the time and I would like my boobs back please. Pregnancy does all sorts of weird poo poo to your body and to your ability to have the sex that you want to have. I'm lucky because I'm just now starting to get a belly in the way at 22 weeks, but it's already something that keeps me from doing things that used to be really fun. Things change, and I'm sure it's going to be worth it in the long run, but this poo poo isn't easy. I sure as hell wouldn't be able to stop having sex halfway through like a poster said above, but we're all willing to make different sacrifices for the ability to have a baby.
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Nov 25, 2018 19:30
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BadSamaritan posted:Entering the third trimester is making me face the fact that I basically know nothing about day-to-day baby care, other than people are trying to sell me everything. Oh god, this. Sort of piggybacking on this topic, how much of other fabric consumables (sorry, not sure what term is appropriate for this) do we need for a newborn? I'm talking burp cloths, swaddlers, and other miscellaneous baby cloth paraphernalia. How much of this is actually necessary and how much is sweet sweet capitalism? My weekly email told me that I should have gotten a carseat in the second trimester and welp. I'm 32 weeks and trying not to panic but poo poo gently caress time to go forth and spend money, I guess
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Feb 3, 2019 06:37
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After months of having what I thought was a baby butt sticking out from under my ribs, it turns out that it's a head (and maybe I should feel bad about gently shaking it to wake her because I hadn't felt kicks in a while? Nah). Anyone actually had any luck with external rotation of a breech baby? I'm probably going to be experiencing it sometime this week. I just feel so disappointed, some hosed up part of me was looking forward to going through labor after spending so much time learning about it  now my odds suck rear end and C-sections scare the poo poo out of me. Halp.
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Mar 5, 2019 06:42
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Public Serpent posted:A close friend of mine had a successful external version. She said it was uncomfortable but felt worth it. I have been, but it's hard not to get put off by the idea of being awake while they're digging inside your abdominal cavity. The book they gave us ok childbirth says you get to smell the cauterization of your own blood vessels and to me this is some legitimate body horror poo poo. At this point though I'm just trying to focus on the not terrifying things, like having a baby out in 10 minutes rather than 10+ hours. Thanks, though. I legit have not met anyone who knows anyone who had an external version work out, even if the odds are supposed to be close to 50/50.
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Mar 5, 2019 07:21
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Nosueck posted:Curious if anyone hear can speak to the recovery time from their C section? Especially in comparison to vaginal birth? Was it really that bad? Quoting because I'd like to hear about this too since that's now where I'm headed. Babby refused to get turnt by ECV because babby is an uncooperative butthead. Fortunately, the worst part of the whole procedure was the IV placement because I'm a big baby about my IV phobia. They were impressed that there was absolutely no fetal response (well she may have tried to kick and punch to defend her honor) to being manhandled, so that was good I guess. If you're gonna be a stubborn fetus, I guess it's also good to be a stoic fetus too. If anyone wants to hear what it's like to go through ECV let me know. Seems it's getting more common since the 2000 breech study concluded it's approximately 5x safer to just deliver all breech babies by C-section. With those odds I really can't blame them. Still, I hear a lot of pregnant people are scared off by the fact that they've heard it's painful, and I can assure you that mine was not that bad.
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Mar 6, 2019 23:13
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Thank you Nihilistic Magpie, that was super helpful. I'm not looking forward to surgery (who is?) but I'm definitely looking forward to meeting my baby.
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Mar 7, 2019 04:13
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Stairs posted:My (now 6 year old) daughter was breech and my Doctor prepped me for a C-section but first allowed me to try and deliver vaginally and I succeeded! You could always discuss it with them and see if it's a possibility. Mine was over 9lbs and I was so so glad it happened that way. Yeah no, it's absolutely not an option. I've come around though, I was initially disappointed but in the end what really matters is everyone leaving the hospital in as good of shape as possible.
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Mar 10, 2019 07:31
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That's wonderful! It's so great when medicine comes through. I had my C-section Tuesday and it was so completely worth it. I was scared until I met my baby, but then nothing mattered after that. We're leaving the hospital today and I'm pleasantly surprised at how little pain I'm in even though I'm just on high dose Tylenol and Advil. Something I wish I'd known before going through this is that on day 2 the baby goes through spells of cluster feeding. If you're like me, then you get all upset because your milk hasn't come in, so you think she's starving and you can't feed her. Well, a nurse pointed out at 2 or so in the morning that the baby is just looking to suck at this point (after hanging on the boob for 2+ hours and crying nonstop) so putting a finger in her mouth allows you to not feel like a failure as a human being. This allowed my husband to donate a finger to the cause of me getting a couple hours of sleep. I hope at least one person reads this and doesn't spend so much time feeling like a failure like I did.
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Mar 23, 2019 02:24
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Can we hear some more of the superstitions? Those sound amazing  One of my friends was telling me about ones from her country but it's been too long and I should ask her to tell me again. I don't remember any besides 'if you crave something and eat too much of it then your baby will come out with a birthmark in that shape'. Kind of bummed that my kid missed out on a birthmark in the shape of some heckin spicy chicken wangs.
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Mar 23, 2019 17:56
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Pretty sure you can't shake a baby before it's born because any sudden shocks are cushioned by the amniotic fluid surrounding the fetus. It's like being inside a waterbed. Direct abdominal impact, however, is a big no-no because it could either hurt the fetus directly or cause placental abruption. So biking is fine, falling off a bike not so much. And falling is more likely the larger you get because your balance gets all wonky. Anyone know anything about what to do about a forceful letdown when nursing? I keep spraying my baby in the face. It's entertaining until she starts choking while nursing
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Apr 6, 2019 17:01
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Hi_Bears posted:Sometimes I’ll even pump a little first if my boob feels really full and I know it’s gonna choke him. Don't you worry that this will contribute to the problem (if it's caused by oversupply)? I've been trying different positions but I just started this breastfeeding thing and everything is super awkward. This lactation thing is like a weird superpower where my boobs are now fire hoses that I try to feed to a little wiggling goblin. All my clothes are covered in milk. I'm hoping that everything calms down after a couple weeks, because if I have to go back to work like this it isn't gonna work out.
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Apr 6, 2019 19:54
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As with many things in life, it's loving terrible but it ends. I have panic attacks and fainting during blood draws so I was definitely not pleased to have to do the 3 hour test. What got me through it was just reminding myself that it ends, and it's the right thing to do for the baby. It's always better to know (I say this as someone who works in medical diagnostics and who would like people to buy our products, lol). Also if it helps, the false positive rate on the one hour test is very, very bad and they should probably administer the three or two hour versions instead. Your odds of not having GD are something like 25-30% given that you failed the one hour, which again as someone who works in medical diagnostics that's loving ridiculous. I understand wanting to get patients out of the clinic as soon as possible but the way to do it is not to subject so many pregnant women to this kind of stress.
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Apr 11, 2019 17:29
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They usually do what they call a viability screen here (groovy groovy California, only state in the US with a dropping maternal death rate ) to check for a heartbeat/non ectopic pregnancy at 7-8 weeks or so before scheduling the NT scan at 12 weeks. My LMP was off by two weeks which apparently is a common thing so I came in, got an ultrasound, measured fetal age of 6 weeks and was told to come back later. Someday I'm going to tell my daughter about having the poo poo scared out of me by my doctor not being able to find a heartbeat! At 12 weeks postpartum with a chunky little baby now and graduating from the thread, but I wanted to thank everyone for being sane and not terrible on this awful place on the internet.
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Jun 13, 2019 22:09
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Your friend is full of poo poo, approximately 1/3 of perfectly viable pregnancies don't involve vomiting and half that don't get morning sickness. Uncommon? Yes, but it's likely enough that you shouldn't worry about it.
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Jun 14, 2019 05:46
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I had that too! It's the worst goddamn thing. It doesn't really go away, or at least mine didn't completely until I wasn't pregnant anymore it abated somewhat at the end of the first trimester so I was able to brush my teeth without gagging eventually. It was probably the worst pregnancy side effect I experienced (I'm sorry everyone who had/has it way, way worse) but constantly gagging on everything including overly large bites of food or a flossing attempt gets old real fast. After a while I was just super cavalier about gagging because it was just the new normal. I brought it up to my doctor and she was pretty much like 'yep, it be like that'. I don't have any suggestions for what to do about it besides the fact that it does get better, which unfortunately sums up most horrible and annoying pregnancy symptoms and issues.
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Jul 2, 2019 22:27
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Yeah, you pretty much just have to get in the habit of grazing constantly. Small meals every two to four hours usually did the trick for me. Also antacids are your friend.
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Aug 1, 2019 17:39
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Bloody Cat Farm posted:Here I was thinking I would be eating like a horse and gaining a ton of weight Nah, that's usually later. I lost weight for a long time just due to not being hungry, but then at like 6-7 months I was hit by THE HUNGER. My weight gain was a lovely sigmoidal and my doc was like whoa cool it. Then in the third trimester I went back to not wanting to eat. Take care of yourself, listen to your body, try not to worry too much unless you're actually told to do so by a medical professional. Normal is gonna change every few weeks and you're going to be surprised every time. Enjoy the good and try to remember that the bad is only temporary.
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Aug 1, 2019 18:48
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There's a nice probability density interactive widget of the likelihood of spontaneous labor by your due date, if this makes you feel any better. When I was at the end of pregnancy I would not only reassure myself with it, but also reply to meeting invites with the probability that I could attend given the invite date because I am a completely insufferable nerd (and I ended up having a scheduled C-section anyway).
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Jan 15, 2020 20:30
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Hot water bottle/heating pad?
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Jun 15, 2020 16:47
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I had a birth plan but it all went out the window when I needed a c section. And you know what? That's okay. Kid was out in 13 minutes from the start of surgery and everyone was fine. I've never experienced labor and I might never experience it. It doesn't take away my *~ birth experience ~* or make me less of a parent. You just need to roll with it and have faith in the fact that everything will (hopefully) be the best decision at the time when you look back a couple years later.
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Jul 7, 2020 16:21
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Emily Spinach posted:It's supposedly a thing, that redheads need more anesthetic. I haven't noticed it with anesthetic for myself, although OTC pain meds don't work well. Red hair is caused by a defect in signaling molecules during the formation of the neural cleft in early fetal development, which causes pigmentation cells to get 'lost'. Red pigmentation cells from the nipples and genitals get distributed across the entire body instead of normal melanin producing cells and certain elements of neurochemistry get changed as well. There's even a red hair gene variant (out of the 35+ different known mutations) that causes obesity due to the body being unable to detect signals from the stomach indicating satiation. It's weird stuff and I really enjoy reading about it, haha
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Jul 7, 2020 16:26
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My husband accidentally saw the wrong side of the curtain during my c section and regrets it. Considering I almost fainted when I saw my incision for the first time, I don't blame him.
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Aug 22, 2020 15:38
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Yeah, I had the scheduled caesar and it was great. 13 minutes and they had her in my arms, recovery was a bit tricky but I felt myself in a week (and went too hard and tore my placental scab open because I'm dumb as hell).
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Nov 19, 2020 05:18
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I'm nearing the end of my first trimester with my second kid and really appreciating how different each pregnancy is. Instead of having a gag reflex so bad I have trouble flossing, I have gnarly motion sickness instead (which is wild because I've never had motion sickness in my entire life). Bodies are super weird! My first kid was a scheduled C-section breech baby that, to be perfectly honest, was a fantastic delivery - 13 minutes total, civilized, everyone recovered great, I felt 100% just a couple weeks later. I'm not in my 20s anymore though so I can't really expect a repeat of that. I'm planning to try for a VBAC this time around. Anyone in the thread had one, and how would you rate labor post-cesarean for someone who's never been in labor? My care team is telling me there are a lot of induction options even if I cook too long (my siblings were both born at 44 weeks - my family's babies are served well done). The one thing I really don't want is a shitshow of a long, painful labor leading back to a C-section that could have been scheduled in advance like my first delivery. How do I avoid that?
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Jan 2, 2023 05:37
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Yeah even writing it I was just like, well poo poo. Well, that's life, isn't it. I'm going to keep my eyes open and take in more information as we get closer to the actual event. Right now I'd like to shoot for a VBAC just because it seems like the recovery will be smoother and the likelihood of things going tits up seems fairly minimal. Also some irrational part of me wants to know what labor is like. For people in the same boat as me with a breech baby that just won't turn, my scheduled C-section was really awesome - it was quick, my pain was well controlled by acetaminophen and ibuprofen, and my baby was super healthy. They tried an external version that didn't work (they gave me fentanyl, I cheered them on while they tried unsuccessfully to turn the baby as she punched the doc while hiding behind my ribs), so this was my only option. I definitely felt very upset and left out at the time, especially when my prenatal group was sharing their birth stories, but now I see that things actually went great and I was safe and cared for. Griping about not experiencing some of the worst pain in the world is some extremely privileged poo poo! take me to the beaver fucked around with this message at 17:26 on Jan 4, 2023 |
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Jan 4, 2023 17:13
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That's awesome! I got an external version (where they try to turn the baby from the outside) and while I do hear it can be extremely uncomfortable, they gave me fentanyl and I cheered them on the entire time. I knew someone from my prenatal group who also got one and she for some reason was not offered any pain relief. I don't know what goes into that decision as I'm not familiar with her medical history, but I have read that the odds of success improve dramatically with pain relief (presumably because the pregnant person is more relaxed and cooperative). Given the research I imagine it is standard practice to offer pain relief.
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Feb 1, 2023 04:51
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Yep, having a kid when you had childhood trauma is a great way to trigger said trauma. Reparenting is a big deal and requires a ton of emotional energy regardless of how much trauma you actively recall. Expect to be triggered by every action your child takes that you were punished for. I also hear that you get to unearth a bunch of sibling trauma (if you've got it) when you have a second one. I'll find out this summer when we have our second! The Your Parenting Mojo podcast has been a great resource for me for dealing with this, by the way.
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Mar 27, 2023 02:58
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To be honest you should also be skeptical of Emily Oster too. She said later in an interview that her advocacy of pregnant people being able to drink small amounts of alcohol was influenced more by her craving for a glass of wine than any actual research (so much for the point of Expecting Better, which is that it's supposed to help us all make better decisions about risk that are informed by research). She's also been a bit of a pill about masking and covid in general. I also don't like her characterization of the patient-doctor relationship as an antagonistic one. Some good stuff in there, but I would take it with a grain of salt.
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Mar 29, 2023 03:42
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El Mero Mero posted:Yeah. "economist reads and then communicates the science to you" is something I'm always incredible skeptical of and her covid stances were abysmal.
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Mar 29, 2023 06:36
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Plus then you can double up on ibuprofen/Tylenol when they start teething and in some studies that works better than each combined (I am not a doctor, this is not medical advice etc). I bought a Costco pack of dog pee pads for changing table liners and cut them in half. Lasted for at least a year. We're gearing up for number 2 and I just found out my partner has no memory of the first few months. I remember more, but I wasn't the one with PPD. Oh, and male/non birth partners can get postpartum mental health issues too! I have a male family member who got postpartum psychosis and needed to be hospitalized, and as I mentioned my partner got very depressed. His work at the time was very into toxic masculinity too so he didn't have a supportive environment for it outside of home. Be prepared to get mental health support for all the adults in your home, because if you need it then it's not always easy to make it happen while you're going through it.
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May 4, 2023 04:06
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I was reading about that too. Last time in the hospital we were told "don't you dare use a pacifier in the first month if you want to breastfeed" as my newborn was going nuts because she wanted to suck but not feed. They told us to stick our fingers in her mouth, like that's really any better. This time we're just bringing some stinkin' pacifiers to the hospital with us.
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May 7, 2023 04:28
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Echoing the previous excellent post, I have literally received conflicting information from the subcontracted company that administers parental leave for my company. I escalated to HR and they politely yet firmly asked for the name of the person who gave me misinformation so they could bring the hurt. One of my friends recently was given incorrect information by her (small startup's) HR in order to pressure her to come back to work sooner. They wouldn't let her use flexible time off to cover the maternity leave they don't give. Another friend's husband was told by his HR that since he's on a visa he doesn't get parental leave (incorrect, at least in our state). Know your rights. Document everything. I'm at two months to go and my incubating child basically rotates between breech, transverse and cephalic lies throughout the day. It is terrible. I rate breech as most comfortable (as long as you're cool with a head in your ribs), head down as most mentally soothing, and transverse breech is absolute hell, one star, please stop using my uterus as a hammock.
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May 30, 2023 03:24
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femcastra posted:I went to 42 weeks before I caved and went in for an induction. My brother was born at 44 weeks and my sister was born at 43. It took me a really long time to figure out why my mom always referred to me as "so small and underdeveloped" when I was born at "only" 39 weeks. Thanks mom! I'm at 36 weeks and about 90% certain that baby no2 is breech just like her big sister, which represents a very unlikely occurrence (4% for breech kid 1 and 10% for breech kid 2 conditioned on already having had a breech kid). The plan is to go in for a first attempt at an external version (where baby gets manually rotated from the exterior into a more favorable cephalic presentation) at 37 weeks, followed by a second attempt at 39 weeks if that fails. I'm a good candidate for the procedure but poo poo sucks why I gotta have bat baby?
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Jun 22, 2023 03:31
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Congratulations! Make sure to record as much of these early days as possible, my two videos of my newborn daughter have possibly been my most rewatched videos I own. I found out recently how little my partner and I actually remember of the first few months - it's uh, impressive how much your brain just does not work. Such a huge moment in your life and so much change, hold on to what you can!
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Jun 23, 2023 23:42
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Yeah we have this ice machine at work that makes a very loud noise when it turns on and my entire belly jumps like it's trying to make a run for it every time. I feel a little bad for traumatizing my unborn child, but it's also adorable  We have avoided breech no2 due to proper baby orientation (tm) so now we're on spontaneous labor watch. I'm trying for a VBAC (technically a TOLAC - trial of labor after cesarean) so that I don't have a 4-year-old jumping on my fresh surgical incision, so I'm trying to do everything I can to go into labor spontaneously before I get induced at 40+5. My odds of bad poo poo happening triple with an induction, but don't necessarily preclude the birth experience I want (low intervention if at all possible, everyone leaves the hospital alive and relatively intact). I'm trying to stay relaxed and not obsess, but that's not really the kind of person I am. It's still weird considering a vaginal delivery like it's something that could happen to me (I had a scheduled C-section following a failed ECV from breech, and I've never been in labor at all). The first time around I felt so cheated of a "normal" experience, especially because I was in a prenatal group where everyone else had a traditional birth experience. It's like being told you're doing a triathlon, but then last minute you're told that you and only you are doing a marathon instead. It's still a big deal, but somehow you feel disenfranchised when it's time to check out bicycles and pick out your swimwear, especially when you all go as a group. Now I'm being told to just pick up my swimsuit and dive right in like everything is normal, and I don't know if I can do it. Pregnancy in general has been very similar for me because I am NB and so much of this entire experience is aggressively gendered. It's incredibly isolating. I'm looking forward to just having a newborn, because the baby won't care about any of this poo poo, she just wants me to feed her and keep her clean and warm. I'm hoping focusing on the finish line will get us there as intact as possible.
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Jul 4, 2023 17:25
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I'd hesitate to advocate for anything resembling recommending not sterilizing things that go in newborn mouths, even if it is convenient. Fungal infections can go real bad real fast. Didn't we learn this from the Last of Us? Sometime I will do a write up of my five-day clusterfuck of a failed induction (well, not entirely failed - I got into labor for three days and everyone left the hospital alive, but I ended up in the OR when I didn't want to be due to everyone's vitals getting fucky). Then again, it isn't exactly funny or uplifting or whatever, so maybe better to leave it at the short summary.
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Sep 30, 2023 12:19
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We had a really good experience going through our local university child development center for childcare. It's usually pretty affordable, they use the latest research-backed methods, and if you or a partner happen to be a student at the time you can often get priority or discounts. That being said, the fact that child development center abbreviates to CDC is pretty apt. We spent August through April this past year sick continuously with no breaks. But that's going to be an issue anywhere you go.
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Oct 12, 2023 03:37
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Also breech doesn't always mean c-section. Not going to advocate for vaginal breech because it's unsafe, but external versions work in the majority of cases, especially with pain management (I know two people who were not offered pain medication for theirs - I don't know why this was the case but it's not what I would consent to). They basically grab the fetus by the head and butt and spin baby right round, baby right round. C-section aren't the end of the world, but as someone with long term nerve damage from one I would have preferred to avoid it if at all possible. Also if you want more kids in the future, having had a prior C-section limits your options for induction and makes the whole thing less likely to work out (see: my second C-section). Again, they're not the end of the world, the best outcome is that everyone lives to leave the hospital, but if you can get out of major surgery with a minor procedure then you definitely should! External versions do actually work!
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Jan 26, 2024 12:21
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Owlkill posted:Also, despite not being the birthing parent I seem to be getting sympathetic baby blues. On a rational level I can see how it entirely makes sense that such a massive life change combined with sleep deprivation and a pretty traumatic birth experience would take an emotional toll, but man, I hadn't anticipated finding myself getting weepy quite so often or pretty much entirely losing my ability to concentrate on anything beyond Traitors on TV. My wife is being so amazing and I feel like we're making a conscious effort to emotionally check in with each other, which really helps, and I want to be able to support her effectively (which she tells me I am), I'm just a bit worried about going back to work at the end of next week (though luckily I'm a remote worker with a very understanding/compassionate manager). Happened to my partner too (I'm the birthing parent - I never got any baby blues or anything aside from maybe a little increase to my pre-existing anxiety). He had a really hard time with our first but never got treatment for it because at the time he worked in a very macho environment and would have had to choose between concealing his treatment or getting mocked all day every day. With our latest addition, he had a meltdown in the hospital from the sheer multi day trauma circus of our failed induction, then was told that "men don't get postpartum depression". I filed a formal complaint but that nurse is probably still out there waiting in the shadows to jump out and be lovely to non birthing parents who are struggling. What I'm saying is that people are awful about it but it absolutely happens. I'm sorry it's happening to you. There is help out there and you shouldn't be ashamed for needing help. It also gets better. It gets so much better. I'm still waiting for it to get easier, but sometimes baby don't sleep 🥴
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Jan 26, 2024 18:34
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