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Well, it looks like all of my efforts to get this bay out of me worked! After 42 hours of labour, a home birth transfer, a shitload of pitocin and a combination spinal block and epidural, Zoey Scarlett was born on February 19 weighing in at 7lbs 5ozs. When she was born, she wasn't breathing. She passed meconium in utero and aspirated it. They whisked her over to the newborn station and started chest compressions because they were loosing her heartbeat. The room flooded with people and they had to intubate her. I actually said is she dying and no one would answer me (we transferred to a French hospital and I think there was a language barrier). Six minutes later, she finally started breathing on her own. They took her to the NICU and we didn't get to see her for a few hours. When we finally got to see her, she was covered in wires and tubes but breathing on her own. I have never been so relieved in all my life! I was so, so happy that we were at the hospital. Now the three of us are at home doing much better. We are having a lot of problems with breastfeeding though. My midwife thinks part of the problem is that her esophagus is irritated from being intubated. Although I agree with her, I don't think that's the only problem. I can get her to latch on but she won't stay latched or she'll stay latched on but then fall asleep. I try for no more than 20 minutes at a time because at that point, we're both pretty frustrated. At that point, my husband usually gives her a bottle of exprssed breastmilk. Thank god we could afford the Medela Freestyle pump; I'm getting between 70-120ml (2-4 oz) per pump session so supply is not an issue. I guess my questions are: Have any of you dealt with a baby who wouldn't stay latched on? If so, what did you do to correct this problem? I'm considering using a lactation aid. Have any of you used one of these? Did it work for you? Did it cause any problems? I'm meeting with a lactation consultant tomorrow but would appreciate any advice because I really want to make breastfeeding work.
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Feb 27, 2011 20:07
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Thanks for all the tips on helping to make breastfeeding work! Yesterday we went to a free breastfeeding clinic offered by our city. It was staffed by a lactation consultant and three public health nurses. It was absolutely great! They weighed Zoey and I was shocked to learn that not only had she regained her birth weight, but she was up a total of 6 additional ounces! My baby is a becoming really chunky! The LC had me try breastfeeding with a nipple shield and although I was skeptical, I was surprised that it actually worked. We're totally off bottles now and feeding exclusively with the nipple shield. Although I'm happy about this, I do have my reservations. Have any of you used nipple shields? If so, were you ever able to transition to not using them? I'm also concerned with my oversupply issues. There's no way Zoey can keep up with me but I'm scared about engorgement and blocked ducts. The LC suggested I cut back how much I'm pumping but I'm scared about developing problems if I don't properly drain my breasts. Have any of you had these issues? Also, the LC suggested that she has a minor tongue tie. She referred us to a doctor to have it looked at but I'm weary of having the procedure done. My midwife said she's not tongue tied at all. So, I guess I'm just a little confused. Have any of you had your child's tongue clipped?
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Mar 1, 2011 20:30
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Thanks all for your input on the nipple shields and the tongue tie, it's very much appreciated! We saw the doctor today for the tongue tie and ended up getting it done. I think Zoey having it done was harder on me than it was on her. The doctor had to restrain her and that was why she flipped out. After he cut her tongue and removed the restraints, she instanly stopped crying. I was then able to breastfeed her and although it was with the nipple shield, it seemed like it was far less work on her part. Here's hoping that we can start to transition away from using the nipple shield! So, I've had a number of people say to me that I should try to start getting my baby on a schedule. I mean, she's two weeks old, she's too young for a schedule right? Normally we're in bed most nights by 8:30-9:00 and we're up by 7:00-8:00 the next morning with usually only 3-4 feedings per night with almost no fussing. I figure that's about as good a schedule I can get a two week old on.
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Mar 4, 2011 22:01
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The Young Marge posted:I haven't seen this discussed yet... Did anyone else have to deal with people noticing a change in your behavior and commenting on it WAY before you were ready to tell you were pregnant? I play lots of bar gigs, go out a lot, have a family whose get-togethers always include drinking, co-workers go to the bar for lunch, etc. I just found out on Thursday, and have already been in three different situations where people are noticing I'm not drinking. I don't miss drinking; I just want them to leave me alone and stop demanding that I do shots with them, and then ACCUSING me of being pregnant! This was pretty much me for a good long while. I just told everyone that I was suffering from a chronic sinus infection and had been given a broad spectrum antibiotic that was a three week dose and I couldn't drink while taking it. Of course, this only lasted for 3 or so weeks but it allowed me to get to a point where I felt comfortable telling family and close friends. I know it's a tough situation so hopefully some folks here will give some ideas on how to handle it. I have a question for folks about cosleeping. We've been cosleeping since Zoey was born and it's starting to kill my neck and shoulders. I'm overly conscious about having her in the bed and as a result, I'm not tossing or turning very much. I tried to transition her to the bassinet last night but it was largely unsuccessful. After crying for about 5 minutes, I pulled her into the bed with me. I'm not sure if being in the bassinet is harder on her or me!  How do I transition an infant to a bassinet when she seems completely uninterested in it? Am I stuck sleeping with her until she gets a bit older? I love having her in the bed with me, I just need her out for the sake of my neck and shoulders.
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Mar 7, 2011 02:36
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Congrats, AlistairCookie! That's one fine looking baby you have there! Sorry to go back to the cosleeping issue but I'm getting pretty desperate. Unfortunately, Zoey barely tolerates clothes let alone being swaddled. We basically have to keep her in legless onesies to keep her content. If I put a blanket on her when she's napping, it always wakes her up and she screams and kicks until she gets the blanket off her. It's so weird that my baby likes to be cold; it's not like our house is overly hot (or cold for that matter). I just don't know what to do to transition her from our bed to her bassinet. It seems like a bad idea to let a newborn cry it out for any period of time. I mean, I don't mind letting her fuss a little bit but I refuse to let her scream for any length of time. Also, we've been up since 7:0am and it's now 10:00am. She hasn't so much as even closed her eyes to take a nap yet. Is it normal for a 2 1/2 week old to be awake for hours at a time?
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Mar 9, 2011 16:00
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Oops, sorry I missed that about the crib/sidecar. Our bassinet is the exact same height as our bed and it has mesh sides so we can easily see each other. Unfortunately, drop side cribs are illegal in Canada (at least I'm pretty sure of this) so rigging our crib as a sidecar isn't an option. Our only other option is to buy an arms reach but we're a bit strapped for cash right now as we wait for my maternity leave payments to start. Also, that is a fantastic about swaddling her just before I feed her. I am so trying that for our next feed. Fingers crossed!!
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Mar 9, 2011 16:50
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Fire In The Disco posted:As for the swaddling, how have you tried it? For some babies, swaddling them only works if you latch them on right afterward so they nurse to sleep in their swaddle. I would kiss you if I could! I can not believe how well this worked. After I tried this, she slept for two solid hours IN A ROW! Totally unbelievable!! Eia posted:Does swapping side to side more often help? Like, 15 min right, 15 min left, 10 min right, 10 min left, for those 50 minute marathons? My lactation consultant has me doing this and it makes a big difference. It can be a little frustrating at times because we're still using a nipple shield and Zoey hates waiting the 30 seconds for me to put it on and then flip her around but it really has helped to regulate my supply.
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Mar 9, 2011 21:24
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So I've finally figured out how to wear Zoey in our Moby wrap and she's loving it! I can't believe that it allows me to "hold" her hands free and get other things done. I think it might save my sanity. That being said, I don't want to wear her all the time. I'm a bit curious for those of you who use wraps, how often are you wearing your baby? I know you can't "spoil" a baby but I really don't want to set the expectation that she'll constantly be held/worn by me. I also realize she's only three weeks old so I know no real habits have been established yet.
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Mar 12, 2011 23:06
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Thanks so much, Tatiana, for your post on side-carring a crib. I have no idea what happened but three nights ago she started sleeping the whole night through on her own in the bassinet with little to no fussing. Go figure! Foxatee, at the very end of my pregnancy, my blood pressure got moderately high as well, mind you I was also at 39 weeks. My midwife recommended that I take a daily epsom salt bath to help lower it. She says that they recomend it for all women who have high blood pressure. Mind you, it isn't a cure all, mostly just an aid. I did it but I'm not sure if it made a difference because I ended up delivering Zoey four days later. MoCookies, our daughter was very much planned and very much wanted and yet, I was extremely ambivalent about being pregnant and at times, I pretty much hated it. And I was NOT a silent sufferer. Some people handled my honesty well and others didn't. I figured if someone couldn't handle my not being elated about being pregnant then they weren't the type of person I would noramlly seek support from anyway and their opinion didn't really matter much to me anyway. The best advice I can give you is just to try to roll with it and enjoy it for what it is. I never thought I would say this but at times, I actually miss being pregnant! And yeah, Canadian health care rocks! Are you going to qualify for EI benefits? edit: correction of BBCodes A Serious Woman fucked around with this message at 15:55 on Mar 19, 2011 |
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Mar 18, 2011 21:23
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MoCookies posted:We're in Quebec, so we'll actually be using QPIP instead of EI. I was shocked when I found out how much money we'll get through Quebec's parental insurance. We've been here less than a year, so we're still figuring out how all this stuff actually works. I do love that they (QPIP) is so generous to dads too, not just moms. It's nice to know that we should be able to make ends meet even if he needs to stay home for a long time to help take care of me and the baby. I'm curious how long other families use EI and QPIP. We live in Ottawa and it really burns me that if we lived across the freaking river in Quebec my husband would have received his own benefits under QPIP. As it stands, he was able to take three weeks off with me by using a combination of vacation and sick time. It was better than nothing I suppose but I could have used him at home with me longer than that considerng we have no family living in the area. I'm planning on taking the first six months and my husband will use the last six months. I'll be going back to work just after labour day and I have to say, I'm awfully glad it worked out that I'll be getting the summer off! Question about gas. Zoey seems to be really gassy all the time and sometimes, she seems like shes in pain. I try burping her often when I feed her but she almost never burps. We tried gripe water last night and I think it made a difference. How often can you use gripe water? I would also prefer not to use it as a long term solution either. She's a month old today so I'm hoping it'll get better as her digestive tract develops? Also, I had no idea how to post photos until now. So, I present Zoey Scarlett at five days old:  And here she is just shy of a month: 
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Mar 19, 2011 16:08
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Congratulations, Longpig! That's one fine looking baby you have there!! Ok, Zoey is just over 5 weeks old and breastfeeding is still posing to be a huge challenge. She still wants to eat every 1 1/2 to 2 hours except during the night where I'm lucky enough to get 3-4 hour stretches. That being said, I feel like I'm tethered to both her and the house. I'd love to go out to see people or even just get a coffee and in theory, I have no qualms about breastfeeding in public. However, we're still on a nipple sheild (despite my daily efforts to get her off), I leak out the other boob that I'm not feeding her with, she eats for up to an hour at a time and I have such a forceful letdown about 5-10 minutes in that she chokes on my milk and coughs in routinely in my face. It's not a pretty picture. This just seems to make breastfeeding in public impossible. Everyone keeps saying that it gets easier after 6 weeks but they never say how it gets easier. Like, will my supply regulate and stop choking her? Will she not eat for an hour at a time? Because right now, I feel like I'm at the end of my rope and I really, really want to give up breastfeeding, switch to formula and have my husband help out with the feedings.
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Mar 28, 2011 18:34
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Thanks for the support, guys. I don't think I would feel so exhausted with the constant feeding if she would just take naps and give me like, a 5 second break. This kid will not nap. I've basically resorted to going for car rides in the morning and walks in the afternoon to get her to sleep. She's an excellent night time sleeper, she just is a cranky nightmare during the day. It's just like, she's always, always at me crying and screaming. I know this is how babies operate, it's just exhausting and never being able to fully share the load is just hard. Gah... I know it will get better.
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Mar 29, 2011 00:04
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Well, as it turns out, I am a first class dummy. When people used to say they put their baby down for a nap, I literally thought they meant they just put their baby down and it went to sleep because, well, ya know, it's tired. Wow! What I've discovered is that I'm dead wrong and that you actually have to put a baby to sleep and then put them down. I know it's not this way for every single baby but it's definitely this way for Zoey. Now that I know this, she's starting to actually nap. She's still a bit cranky because she's still a bit sleep deprived but we're getting there! I also discovered that I went from a HUGE oversupply to a HUGE undersupply issue. Not entirely certainly what caused this to happen but I think it accounts for her constantly wanting to eat for up to 90 minutes at a time every 3 hours. I know this is a growth spurt time as well but it's literally been like this for weeks. I started exclusively pumping again and topping off with formula. It's less than an ideal situation but hey, we're doing what works for us. I have no idea how I could go from pumping 600-800ml a day down to less than half of that. I read that it might have something to do with using a nipple shield? Whatever the case, I'm just glad she's well fed and starting to become well rested. MarshallX, I encouraged labour to start by going for a massage the day before my due date. I had her focus on the pressure points in my feet that can cause labour to start. And the day I went into labour, we went out for Mexican food and I had a glass of wine. We came home, had sex and less than 3 hours later, my water broke. We refer to this incident as the Last Supper. I was also taking evening primrose oil, eating pinapple, driving up and down our pot-hole covered street, going for short walks a few times a day, taking epsom salt baths and having sex as often as possible. I'm not sure if any of these things actually work but hey, I figure they can't hurt.
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Mar 31, 2011 21:52
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MarshallX, for what it's worth, I really didn't want my mother to stay with us for too long after Zoey was born. However, I was so overwhelmed that about 10 days after she left, I bought her a plane ticket to come back out to stay with me for another week after my husband went back to work. My mother is a good woman and I love her dearly but she sometimes drives me to drink. That being said, I have a new found respect for my mother after the level of support she provided me with post-partum. I know your situation and your wife's relationship with her mother may be entirely different but my advice to you would be to not make any decisions right now. Tell her that you'd like to have her come to stay with you for a bit and you'll assess on an ongoing basis when you'd like her to stay/leave (of course I would recommend saying this a bit more diplomatically).
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Apr 2, 2011 01:38
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So what do you guys do to keep your kids entertained? Zoey's just over six weeks old and I'm at a loss as to what to do to keep her interested. I show her black and white baby stimulation images, play with her on her play mat (it has musical toys, dangly things, etc.), sing to her, talk to her, read to her, carry her around to let her see the happenings of the house (I'd do more of this if my back wasn't shot), let her sit in her chair that has dangly things that I'm teaching her to hit, etc. The problem is that no matter what we do, she gets bored within 10 minutes, starts crying and then wants to do something else. I'd be happy to do whatever I can to keep her content but I feel like my usual bag of tricks is coming up short. Any suggestions?
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Apr 6, 2011 01:14
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The weather still hasn't turned here yet and it's been really cold and damp lately so we aren't getting many walks in. However, any day where it's even half decently nice out, I take her out and she seems to enjoy it; sometimes it even makes her fall asleep which I know she could use more of. C'mon spring, spring already! It didn't even dawn on me to try her out in the carrier around the house. She's normally pretty indifferent to it but I'm sure like most things if I persevere, she'll eventually get used to it. I've pretty much given up on the moby wrap; she hates it so much that she cries until she hyperventilates. It just isn't worth the hassle anymore.
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Apr 6, 2011 01:51
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fallenturtle posted:Anyone had an experience out there with contraction tracking Android apps? When I was in labour, we used this one. Worked great! Also, based on the advice folks here have given, I've stopped trying to entertain Zoey and it seems to be working out much better. I just let her watch me do things, talk to her, sing to her, read to her, etc. Also, she hated our Moby wrap until today. I have no idea what changed but hey, it made for an easier day! Question: When did you/when are you folks planning on returning to work? The earliest I can return to work is at 17 weeks, June 20 (technically I can return whenever I want but my husband can't use any of the 17 weeks) and the latest I can return is at 52 weeks, February 20, 2012. Whatever I don't take in leave, my husband will take the remaining portion. As it stands, I'm looking to return to work just after Labour Day. Do you guys wish you could have stayed at home longer or did/do you want to go back to work? i'm contemplating going back to work in June but part of me is greedy and wants the summer off. Just looking for opinions on the pros and cons of returning to work early or late. edit: new page, here's a picture of a baby! 
A Serious Woman fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Apr 8, 2011 |
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Apr 8, 2011 00:45
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MarshallX posted:I feel really bad for you guys down in the USA. Up in Canada we get 52 weeks paid and I think a lot of people take it for granted and don't really appreciate how much time you get to be with your baby when they are growing up. Yeah, but you only get 55% up to a yearly maximum insurable amount of $44,200. This means the maximum weekly benefit you can get $468 per week, not including deductions. It's definitely still better than nothing but it works out to much less than 55% for me. I know I shouldn't be complaining at all considering my employer provides top up for the entire 52 weeks but it's absolutely appalling that someone making minimum wage in Ontario would only qualify for about $200 a week. We might have it better than our counterparts in the US but we still have a long, long way to go yet. MarshallX posted:Anyone have tips on post-feeding? Grayson will get sleepy and fall off the nipple shield but once you go and pick him up to put him in his playpen for a nap he goes crazy and screams like a maniac but will latch again but only for a few minutes. We try soothing him to sleep but doesn't seem to work, he just wakes up again. If we give him 1oz from a bottle that mom had previously pumped he instantly falls asleep. Not sure if you're wife has figured out side nursing yet but I know it saved my sanity a few nights. A number of times I just let Zoey side nurse as long as she wanted while I dozed. And we were using a nipple sheild as well so it's totally doable! It takes a bit of time to figure out but it's worth pursuing. There have even been a few times during the day I would side nurse her on the couch and when it seemed that she had finally fallen asleep, I would get up all stealth style to do chores around the house! I've had people say to me that it's a bad idea to nurse your child to sleep because it could create a habit but honestly, I say nuts to that. It certainly didn't create a bad habit for us because she's sleeping on her own every night. Missa posted:Finally, my little Zoey made her arrival! She kept us waiting a few days-was due on April 2, but beat the doctor on April 5. Congrats, Missa! Looks like our girls share not only the same name but the same spelling as well.
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Apr 10, 2011 00:39
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foxatee posted:Alright. I'm at 38 weeks and I still haven't felt any contractions. At least, if I am having them, I don't notice. The most I've gotten are menstrual-like cramps, which my doctor says is perfectly normal. Is it normal for me not to feel any contractions this late in the game? Because every time I go in for my weekly check-up, he asks if I've felt anything and I feel like such a failure for not feeling a drat thing. I'm going to go ahead and agree with what everyone's been saying; I didn't have any contractions until I went into labour and believe me, once you have them, you'll know it's them! Also, having bought both a sports bra and a sleeping bra, I would totally recommend the sleeping bra. Better access to the boobs and it felt less tight, like my boobs had some breathing room if that makes any sense.
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Apr 11, 2011 12:49
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MarshallX posted:I think our plan right now is to stick to pumping until we can't anymore and then switch to formula, nursing with the nipple shield is just not going well for Mom, emotionally and physically (soreness, bleeding, frustration, baby not getting enough food, 1.5 hours for each feeding). We are past the point of it being a bonding experience for Mom and baby and are at the point where she is dreading feeding times, which isn't healthy. I seriously couldn have written this word for word. We made the switch to formula about a week ago and I haven't really looked back. We had been using the nipple shield and at first, it was great. Zoey was latching on with it and eating from me; I couldn't ask for any better. But as the weeks wore on, she became agitated, wouldn't sleep, started crying and screaming around the clock and was taking up to 90 minutes to eat every 2-3 hours. I was exhausted and started having panic attacks every time I had to feed her. She wouldn't latch on properly and no amount of pumping to pull out my flat nipples worked. I was barely able to get through each day; by the time my husband got home from work, I would have an absolute meltdown. I was not only physically exhausted but I was emotionally and mentally exhausted as well. I wasn't able to pump enough and my supply started to dwindle. On top of that, I couldn't nurse Zoey for 90 minutes, then pump for 20-25 minutes and then start the whole process over again within the hour. So, we bought bottles and formula and made the switch. We became a new family within a day. Zoey was finally full and stopped behaving like a raving lunatic. I stopped having panic attacks and learned to chill out a bit. I think she may have been picking up on my negative energy. I was tense which was making her tense which in turn was making me more tense and the cycle continued. I'm in no way advocating formula for everyone; if you're able to have a successful breastfeeding relationship with your child, kudos to you! And if I have future children, I was certainly try breastfeeding again. But in the meantime, I have (mostly) stopped feeling guilty about the decision to make the switch. So in short, MarshallX, just do what works best for your family regardless if it's breatfeeding or formula feeding. Don't let anyone make you or your wife feel guilty about the decision you make because at the end of the day, their opinion doesn't really matter. Just let your wife know she's not the only one who has experienced this problem.
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Apr 11, 2011 21:39
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AlistairCookie posted:You're never really ready for a kid, you just have to be ready for the changes to your life (financial, childcare/staying home, your kid is the center of you lives now.) It's a big step, but you'll be fine. And when you look back on it from the other side, you will never regret it for a second. My husband was unsure when we started trying to get pregnant, and still when we got pregnant the first time. But when Midget was born, he was smitten and all that uncertainty was a distant memory. Me too for that matter! It's amazing how much you love them. This. A hundred times this. There is nothing that can prepare you for having a child. It is hard in ways I could never have imagined and it is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. It was a huge adjustment to all of a sudden realize that it isn't all about me anymore. I went from being a young professional with an active social life to a stay-at-home-mom (albeit temporary). Instead of being concerned about Friday night plans, I started worrying about how many wet/dirty diapers Zoey was producing per day, how long and often was she sleeping and how was I ever going to get those dishes done! All of that being said, I don't regret it for a second! Sure there are days where you'll want to pull your hair out. I jokingly tell her most Sunday nights that if she doesn't start behaving, I'll put her out with the recycables for her to be found by some homeless man rumaging through it. But when she flashes me one of her toothless, gummy smiles, coos at me, or discovers something for the first time (like learning to splash in the tub last night or her feet earlier today!!), it melts my heart every.single.time. Now that she's in my life, I could never imagine my life without her. Sure I still complain sometimes but it is truly amazing and wonderful. Here's a picture of my girl and me! This photo makes me so happy every time I see it that my heart hurts just a little bit from feeling so overwhelmed! 
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Apr 14, 2011 00:02
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MarshallX posted:I feel so, so terrible when Grayson is stuffed up. For the past two nights it has sounded like he's got really nasty mucus in his sinuses, whenever he tries to breathe through his mouth he makes that frog noise, whenever he tries to breathe through his nose it sounds awfully tough. Zoey had the same issues. We turned the humidifer off and it went away within a day or two. Sometimes I found even the aspirator wouldn't really work and she'd be laying through snorting. I called our provinical telehealth line (Ontario, I think you're in the province as well?) and the health nurse told me to use a few drops off saline. I picked up a bottle for less than $10 at Shoppers. Everytime I use it on her, she instantly sneezes out tons of boogers. Maybe this might work for Grayson?
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Apr 18, 2011 15:13
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