|
Does anyone have any advice or good resources about stay at home parenting? I'm getting married in July and we are planning on stopping birth control the next month, and it's going to be here before I know it. I work full time and make a good wage and my to-be-husband has never had a job that brings in more than $10/hr. We have savings and could support ourselves on my income only. Our friends who have kids have ranted about childcare in this area, that it's difficult to find openings and the expense is insane. His job income would basically only cover childcare, so we were thinking of maybe just having him be a stay at home dad. I've done some research about the financial aspect but was wondering if there were any websites or advice that has been particularly helpful, especially if it's geared towards working mom and SAH dad. Who knows when we will actually have a kid but I like to plan ahead! Edit: There was a story on the news tonight about how much this area lacks childcare, and how there are one year wait lists, so people should be setting up child care the second they are pregnant. That's so awful. Koivunen fucked around with this message at 04:19 on May 2, 2017 |
#
¿
May 1, 2017 19:06
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 5, 2024 15:58 |
|
|
For those who planned their pregnancy and decided a time to stop birth control, how did you know you were ready? I am getting married in three weeks. I'd like to wait until the end of the summer before going off birth control, primarily because drinking beer and camping are some of my favorite things to do. But as the time gets closer and closer, it's terrifying! I've always wanted kids but now that it's possible in the near future, I am having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that we could have a tiny human next year.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 14, 2017 23:40
|
|
|
Thanks for all the really solid advice! We are ready for a kid in the sense that we already own a house, we are financially secure, I've been at the same job for six years, and we want a kid. It's the decision to go off birth control that is so scary! My best friend is about eight weeks pregnant right now after IVF. There's a chance if things work out that we could both have tiny babies in the next year, and that's super exciting. Edit to add: I'm in the U.S., I'm an ICU nurse, and I work 12.5 hour shifts full time. My coworkers who have had babies have worked basically up to the day they delivered. Some even went into labor while they were at work and just walked over to the birthing floor. A few nurses were told to stop working by their OBs, but our FMLA is only three months. In that time we deplete our sick time, so whatever you save is how much you get, then it's unpaid after that. If you get put on bed rest, too bad, your maternity leave starts then even if you don't have the baby yet. And that's considered pretty good FMLA here! This country is horrible to mothers and their new families. Koivunen fucked around with this message at 07:04 on Jun 20, 2017 |
|
#
¿
Jun 20, 2017 05:57
|
|
|
Regarding heat packs: fill a sock with rice and sew or tie it closed. Microwave for a minute, the heat lasts for a long time, and it's super cheap and effective.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 28, 2017 22:59
|
|
|
My husband and I got married last July and were going to start trying for a baby soon after, but some really awful things happened in our lives so baby got put on hold. Things have smoothed out, and we finally have a new plan! Two more months on birth control, then I'm going to start tracking with LH strips. I've been on some form of hormonal birth control since I was 14 (started as acne treatment), so I'm really curious to find out what my natural cycle is like. Ideally I'd like to have a few natural cycles just to know my body, and then hopefully sometime in the summer or fall we will have good news. I'm beyond excited and I want to tell everyone I know, but it's TMI, so I'm writing in this thread instead. Has anyone used cycle tracking apps on their phone? Which one is the best? Is there anything you wish you had known or done differently before you started TTC?
|
|
#
¿
Mar 18, 2018 23:04
|
|
|
Congrats!! I hope mom isn't feeling guilty about anything - there's literally nothing she could have done differently to prevent the c section from happening. It can be difficult when plans for a great labor go out the window, but you've got a healthy mom and baby, and that's all that matters!
|
|
#
¿
Apr 1, 2018 16:21
|
|
|
I know it’s been discussed but I can’t find it. What’s the #1 book you would recommend for pregnancy/birth/newborns. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” is popular, but what was your favorite? I am on my last BC patch. This time next week I will be tracking stuff. Holy moly.
|
|
#
¿
May 8, 2018 05:04
|
|
|
I’m so sorry this happened to all of you. People can say things at the worst possible times, or not even think about how what they say affects people. Officially off BC now, and if/when we get pregnant, I don’t think we will find out the gender or reveal our favorite names. I used to be a “how could you NOT know” person, but the more stories I hear, I think I want everything to be undetermined at time of birth. And no visitors except my OB nurse best friend until we are out of the hospital.
|
|
#
¿
May 16, 2018 08:10
|
|
|
My husband’s name is Frederick and I like it very much. Growing up, he didn’t have issues with people making fun of him besides “your name is Fred lol” and it doesn’t come up again. His parents called him Fritz which I think is absolutely adorable.
|
|
#
¿
May 16, 2018 16:47
|
|
|
I’ve loved the name Astrid for a long time. Then my eight year old nephew asked “Why would you want to name somebody rear end-turd?” I can never un-hear that, sorry if I ruined it for anyone else.
|
|
#
¿
May 17, 2018 00:07
|
|
|
Alterian posted:The Ali Wong special on Netflix is pretty hilarious. She's pretty crass and angry so if that's not your thing you might want to avoid it, but if you like shows like Broad City you might like it. Most of it is about pregnancy/birth/baby humor. She has two out on Netflix: Baby Cobra, and Hard Knock Wife. They are both amazing, I was laughing out loud. Baby Cobra is when she was pregnant with her first child, and Hard Knock Wife is with her second. RE: TTC and mental illness: I have a pretty rough history with depression, anxiety, and OCD, but have been doing well apart for a few depression relapses for the last ten-ish years. My husband has ADD. We want to have a kid, and I think you beautifully summed up what we feel... quote:We've been through some poo poo and I'm confident we can guide a little human through life and, if their brain chemicals aren't working right, teach them how to live with depression and get them the right resources when the time comes. This is the exact right mindset to have. You are prepared to have difficult conversations, and you have the benefit of being able to relate to your child if they find themselves with the same struggles. Not every child has that. Your kid could be absolutely fine, but you'll know what to do if they aren't. My husband's parents will be over the moon if/when we get pregnant, they've been putting pressure on us years before we were married. My mom has said some passive things about never wishing mental illness on someone else because of me... Long story short, we haven't shared our baby plans with either set of parents. We've been together for over seven years, got married eleven months ago, and just decided to go off BC. If/when we do get pregnant, it will be a surprise for both sets of parents. If I had to offer some advice, maybe don't share details of your TTC journey with your parents. It's easy to have opinions about things that don't exist yet. It's a whole different story when there's a baby who has already been conceived and is going to be born. Your parents' opinions are only going to bum you out, so why bother letting them know what your reproduction status is, until there's a viable baby in the picture? It's impossible to not love a baby. This may not be good advice, but it's working for us.
|
|
#
¿
May 21, 2018 05:38
|
|
|
The "getting knocked up" thread is locked for archives, so posting here. I just peed on my first LH strip. It was negative, which I was expecting, but it was still exciting. I have the Glow app and already started tracking temp and CM. I've been on birth control since I was 11 (horrendous bleeding that lasted for two weeks and lots of pain), and I'm 29 now, so figuring out my cycle is going to be an adventure. Not expecting success right away, but it would be an amazing surprise if we were so lucky. Anyway we're officially trying and I'm super excited and wanted to share somewhere.
|
|
#
¿
May 22, 2018 21:12
|
|
|
I've been on Prozac before, and was on it from about September of last year to February of this year, then I weaned off in anticipation of TTC. Both my psychiatrist and the midwife I met with for pre-conception stuff said that in most cases, if mom needs an SSRI, the benefit outweighs the risk. A depressed, stressed out, anxious mom is worse for a developing/newborn baby than a mom who gets some help from an SSRI. Both of them said that if I felt like I needed to be on it again, they wouldn't hesitate to prescribe it again.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 7, 2018 03:55
|
|
|
FoxTerrier posted:So I've had some light spotting and am trying not to panic. Logically I know this is supposed to be fairly normal in the first trimester, but am still worried despite myself and seeking goony reassurance. Have any goons had light spotting and been alright in the end? Fwiw my friend had heavy bleeding at ten weeks due to a subchorionic hemorrhage. She’s now got a healthy six month old. Light bleeding is super common, 1/4 of women experience it during the first trimester. If that’s your only new symptom and it’s not getting worse, things are likely fine. If it would help you to call your OB office, do it, that’s what they’re there for.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 9, 2018 03:56
|
|
|
Yay! That must have been so scary. Glad to hear you’re doing okay!
|
|
#
¿
Jun 13, 2018 02:30
|
|
|
Lord1234 my heart breaks for you. Hope you are back home and getting support from people you love.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 28, 2018 23:45
|
|
|
It’s our second month tracking stuff and TTC. my first month was textbook. Had an LH surge 14 days after the start of my period, didn’t get pregnant that month, and period came right on time as a 30 day cycle. I’ve been using Glow to track and predict, but this month has been weird. I don’t actually know my cycle since I was on BC for like 15 years, but that first month off was perfect, and Glow was spot on. This month, I was supposed to ovulate today. My LH strips got a little darker the last two days, but not a strong positive like last month. We’ve had sex the last two days as well. I did another LH tonight and it was much more faint than this morning. Glow has pushed out my ovulation day by four days, I’m assuming from my LH strip results. Is it possible that I ovulated and just had a really small LH window and missed it? I tested twice today, but only once the other two days. BBT has not been consistent at all. Also, I’m a little fuzzy on LH positives. From what I understand, ideally you should have sex the day before ovulation. Does that mean you should try to predict when the LH will be positive, and have sex the day before, or should you ideally get the positive LH strip and have sex that day? If we could just be having sex every day I wouldn’t worry, but our schedules are opposite so we unfortunately need to plan ahead. Koivunen fucked around with this message at 04:13 on Jun 30, 2018 |
|
#
¿
Jun 30, 2018 04:08
|
|
|
Finally got a positive LH, five days later in the cycle compared to last month. Missed that day and the days around it because we were working opposites and hadn’t expected or planned for it. Frustrating.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 5, 2018 16:04
|
|
|
There will always be studies linking X to Y, but you’ve got to weigh risk and benefit. Tylenol is considered a safe drug to take during pregnancy. So some study found a super tiny association with regular Tylenol use and ADHD. That doesn’t prove that taking Tylenol regularly will absolutely cause your kid to have attention problems, and it DEFINITELY doesn’t suggest that taking Tylenol every now and then will do any kind of harm. Correlation does not imply causation. If you’re miserable and suffering, take some Tylenol, your kid will be fine.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 8, 2018 15:13
|
|
|
Just got a positive Hcg test today! I got a ton of zits on Saturday. Sunday and Monday I was feeling crampy. I had a dream that I had a positive test, so I decided to take a test today at 11 DPO, and it was positive! Did a second test with a different brand just to be sure. I’m beyond excited. Both sets of our parents know and do do our close friends, we wouldn’t have have been able to keep it a secret. Feeling pretty crampy tonight but it would seem this is normal.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 15, 2018 08:55
|
|
|
Please tell me this “extreme fatigue” is going to start sometime soon. I’m 4w3d and I haven’t slept more than four hours at a time in the last week. Getting to sleep is hard because my mind is racing, then I wake up in the middle of the night because I have to pee, then I realize I’m hungry so I have to eat something... but I’m wide awake and can’t fall back asleep. Even if I just pee and don’t eat I can’t get back to sleep. It’s 5am now, I’ve been tossing and turning since 3am, and it’s been like this every night.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 18, 2018 11:19
|
|
|
Picked up some Unisom and am going to try it tonight. Only got two hours of sleep last night, it can't be good for me or my little embryo. Was hoping to make it the first twelve weeks without taking anything, but the benefit definitely outweighs the (little, if any) risk.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 19, 2018 18:53
|
|
|
Unisom trip report: slept for seven hours, got up to pee, and slept for five more hours! I feel great!
|
|
#
¿
Aug 20, 2018 19:14
|
|
|
I have very fine, thin hair to begin with and it’s been falling out like crazy lately. If it keeps up I’m not sure I’ll have any hair left at the end.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 2, 2018 07:39
|
|
|
How many of your midwives/OBs had you take fish oil in addition to a prenatal? I’ve been reading some articles about the benefits of fish oil supplements, and I’ve been taking them. However I’m wondering what the difference is compared to real fish when it comes to contaminate levels, like mercury and PCBs. We’re only supposed to eat so much fish a week, but the fish oil is every day. The fish oil says it has the lowest level of contaminates according to some European agency, but there are still contaminates. Also is it possible to overdo it on EPAs, DHAs, and omega 3s?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 5, 2018 08:04
|
|
|
I’m taking the prenatal vitamin and the fish oil and have no plans on stopping. Was just wondering about contaminates, but the bottom of the food chain fish makes sense, never thought of that. My midwife also said “maybe they work, maybe they don’t” in regards to vitamins, but I figure it can’t hurt. Trying hard to eat healthy too. So far so good, but there’s so much stuff we are supposed to be eating, I physically can’t eat all the recommended servings from all the food groups in a day. Ovia has been a cool app to follow growth. Our little embryo has arms, legs, and most of its vital organs! Our first ultrasound is next week, I’m so excited!
|
|
#
¿
Sep 6, 2018 04:32
|
|
|
Out of curiosity, what made you think it was an early miscarriage? Did you have a positive pregnancy test prior to bleeding?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 11, 2018 14:15
|
|
|
Definitely watch some videos of babies being circumcised. When I was in nursing school I watched a circumcision and in that moment decided I would never do it if I had a son. The babies scream bloody murder, and changing their diapers for the next week or so is painful for them. There’s no valid reason a newborn should be subjected to pain like that. Pain screams are awful, very different from hungry or tired cries. My friend didn’t really want a circumcision for her baby but her husband pushed for it because he was circumcised. The doc used a plastibell that was too big and cut the skin all the way to the base. The baby bled for almost two days, and eight months later it still looks goofy. My husband is not circumcised and doesn’t recall being made fun of as a kid. Maybe TMI but I prefer sex with uncircumcised guys, and I’m definitely not alone. If your kid grows up and wants a circ, they can choose for themselves. Choosing not to circumcise, in America anyway, is becoming a less uncommon choice. There are lots of different statistics about how many babies are circumcised, but all “studies” show the rate is declining. Your kid will probably have a few friends who aren’t circumcised.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 12, 2018 00:14
|
|
|
Just had our eight week ultrasound! Heart rate is 165, it’s measuring perfectly normal, everything’s looking good! It finally feels real. I was so worried that there wouldn’t be a heart beat or something, that this was too good to be true. The ultrasound didn’t last as long as I thought it would, a lot more time was spent looking at my uterus and ovaries than on the embryo. Kind of wanted to see it wiggle a little, but it was just chilling. Feeling pretty happy and relieved!
|
|
#
¿
Sep 13, 2018 19:02
|
|
|
If the heart rate was confirmed at a normal rate by ultrasound, the chance of miscarriage drops from 20% to something like 4%. If it takes a while to actually feel bonded and relieved, that’s totally normal. Personally, I’m hoping to feel 100% relaxed when I hit 12 weeks.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 13, 2018 20:38
|
|
|
I have a question about hearing fetal heart tones. Today at our 8 week ultrasound, we could watch the heart beat, which was awesome. I asked if we could hear the heart beat, and the tech said they don’t do that in first trimester scans because the exposure to sound waves can be harmful this early on. I was talking to my friend, who had all her prenatal care at a different hospital in town, and at her ultrasounds they allowed her to listen to the heart tones for a few minutes each time. I did some quick googling but couldn’t find anything beyond scare tactic articles about Doppler, but there is certainly a lot out there saying that overexposure to Doppler can cause brain damage. This same friend had bought a home Doppler and said she would listen to her baby’s heart every day for long periods of time throughout her entire pregnancy. So, is there any evidence out there that supports my hospital’s policy to not listen to heart tones before X weeks? I’m not torn up or anything, seeing the heart beat was more than enough, I’d just like to know.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 14, 2018 04:28
|
|
|
nyerf posted:imaging technology Thanks for this, it was exactly the info I was looking for. I hadn’t done any research prior to our ultrasound because I understood it to be considered safe. I was thrown a bit when the tech said we couldn’t listen to heart beat and then made it sound like it could be dangerous. Never actually thought our baby was subjected to anything harmful but it’s good to know the reason it was short was because that is considered a safe protocol. Another question (I feel like I’m clogging up the threat with questions, sorry). I had planned on using bio oil when I start to show as I’m prone to getting stretch marks. Bio oil markets itself as safe to use during pregnancy, but as I’m researching the ingredients, it contains Vitamin A (retinyl palmitate). Cue a bunch of freak-out links about birth defects and “my doctor told me to NEVER use it,” etc. Again, can’t seem to find any actual scientific articles about absorption through the skin or whether that form of retinol actually does any harm. Edit: I would just shoot a message to my midwife, but when I asked about what to use for my out of control pregnancy acne, she recommended staying away from OTC acne medications since there aren’t any scientific studies with use in pregnancy, and as a rule of thumb I should just avoid unnecessary chemical exposures throughout the pregnancy. Koivunen fucked around with this message at 20:55 on Sep 16, 2018 |
|
#
¿
Sep 16, 2018 20:43
|
|
|
Thanks so much for all the info! Will look into some alternatives for stretch mark prevention. Getting stretch marks isn’t the end of the world but it would be nice to prevent some if it’s possible. As far as the acne stuff goes, I’m just dealing with it. Washing my face 2x a day with plain face wash, cutting out greasy foods, no makeup, etc. It’s annoying but it’s only temporary.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 17, 2018 18:45
|
|
|
I have a list of probably a hundred names that I like, but my husband has been avoiding having a conversation about what names he’s been thinking of, probably because he’s not super excited about the names I have written down. I want to wait to meet our baby and see what they look like before deciding, but he wants to have a girl and a boy name picked out before they are born. We will see how it pans out, still have 31 weeks to decide (hopefully).
|
|
#
¿
Sep 20, 2018 22:50
|
|
|
My favorite boy name right now is Eero, pronounced “arrow” in American (EH-ro with a rolled R in Finnish). However, I don’t want people to think they’re named after an arrow, or that it’s supposed to sound like a cool hunting name. The mispronunciation of EE-row would happen all the time too. Nobody, not even my husband, would roll the R, because he’s American, so why would he? Also a friend’s badly behaved pit bull is named Arrow and it’s tarnishing it a bit for me even though that’s stupid. I love the name on its own but there are lots of things making me shy away from it. My favorite not-Finnish girl name for a while was Astrid, until someone pointed out that kids would call her rear end Turd. Girl names are really hard to come up with for me. Might have to check out the Kinder app, that’s a cool idea.
|
|
#
¿
Sep 21, 2018 23:05
|
|
|
peanut posted:Eero also means eros, erotic, and sexiness in many languages, including Japanese. Most Finns turn into weebs. Oh my god I didn’t even think about that. (Not a weeb obv.)
|
|
#
¿
Sep 22, 2018 01:05
|
|
|
I got a Boppy front carrier for when I was watching my nephew. It was so nice to be able to go shopping or for a walk in the woods and have both arms available. Car seats are HEAVY and bulky, and you can’t take a stroller everywhere. I wore it around the house too when he was in a Velcro stage and didn’t want to be put down. My friend has a baby bjorn carrier and it feels a little more secure, especially as the kid gets bigger. I will definitely be using a carrier when our kid arrives. Could you put it on your registry?
|
|
#
¿
Sep 25, 2018 23:59
|
|
|
Congrats on your baby girl!! I’m 10w5d and for the first time I can feel my fundus! I thought I could sort of feel it this past week but today it’s like it suddenly popped up and it’s right there at the surface, it’s surreal. My husband doesn’t want to feel it because he is afraid it’s too delicate, he says maybe he’ll touch it next week.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 1, 2018 17:28
|
|
|
Regional hospitals often don’t have the resources or protocols to treat DKA, so a transfer to a “higher level of care” (bigger hospital) is necessary. They may have given her some insulin in small amounts through her IV, but DKA requires a constant infusion of insulin through an IV (an insulin drip). There are set protocols for this, the hospital needs to have a supply of IV insulin, and it requires close monitoring of blood sugar and other labs, which is probably why they transferred her. I’m a nurse and we get DKA transfers from smaller hospitals all the time. It sucks that she will be dealing with gestational diabetes, but once the DKA gets resolved it is manageable. Often times people have no idea they have diabetes (gestational or otherwise) until they end up in DKA.
|
|
#
¿
Oct 3, 2018 23:15
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 5, 2024 15:58 |
|
|
I didn’t have any nausea until week 9, and I know what you mean by that being worrying! Besides sore nipples and heightened sense of smell, my body was not telling me I was pregnant. When I did get nausea, it only lasted two weeks. I’m 14 weeks today and back to having no symptoms besides the sore boobs and not being able to zip my jeans any more. Some days it still doesn’t feel real, and I imagined I’d be the kind of person to feel an instant bond the second I had the positive test. Hang in there!
|
|
#
¿
Oct 24, 2018 13:37
|
|