ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

I don't even much care about the timeskip, I just can't help thinking how there's allegedly two books left to go and there's no end game in sight. Keep up on the Potter comparison; by book ~~five~~ four we already knew it was going to boil down to a close-quarters brawl between Harry and Voldemort, with Harry assembling a team of allies to fight the ~~Collectors~~ Death Eaters, and the Horcrux thing which ultimately unravels the whole deal showed up in... Half-Blood Prince? That's actually tolerable plotting.

Meanwhile, we're coming into what should be the home stretch of this series, and... what? Where's it going? People's positions have been torn down so thoroughly, the entire next book will have to be about their miraculous returns to glory so the final novel can be humanity somehow uniting to drive off the Others. It would be a waste of his time and ours for the Others to actually win.

Lenin Stimpy posted:

If that's only what you're looking for, you might want to consider reading some other Fantasy novels by a different author

Please, tell me more about what I am solely looking for in a novel. :allears:

# ¿ Oct 26, 2011 20:41

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 13:07

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Maytag posted:

Actually with all his "subversion of tropes" I'd kind of like to see the Others overwhelming the world. Just four or five hundred pages of people fighting and running and being torn apart.

But what would be the point of that? That's fine for a movie, having everyone dead at the end, because you've invested maybe two hours in it. But a book series that's been in publication since 1996? Seven novels culminating in "everybody dies"? Holy gently caress, imagine the poo poo storm over that monumental waste of time people had been reading for 20+ years.

I don't need a moment where the surviving cast all sit down to dinner in the great hall at King's Landing and share a laugh over the wacky hijinx they all suffered the past couple of years. But to have all those pages amount to gently caress all? That's Dark Tower-level asshattery.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2011 02:15

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Brannock posted:

You're not one of those "journey over the destination" people eh?

It's all in the execution. Maybe GRRM could write a really satisfying ending to ASoIaF where everyone dies and winter rules for eternity. I mean, I seriously doubt it, but it could happen.

I like stories to be both, frankly. A fun journey which ends well. I don't mean well as in kittens and rainbows, I mean "not making me want to pitch the book at a wall because it's a slap in the face". Salem's Lot ends with, effectively, everyone dying, and that's a great book. Cabin Fever ends with pretty much everyone dead or dying, and it's a great movie.

Dark Tower had a fun journey which went totally off the rails ( :haw:

) the longer it went on and ended really loving poorly. The first three books are still rad as hell, and the lovely ending isn't going to detract from Eddie gunfighting naked in a bar, but I still can't help feeling disrespected by how awful the series became.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2011 04:32

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

I'm really hoping for some closure on the most important, rivetting character. I cannot wait for Pies of Hotness another five years, that's simply unacceptable.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2011 20:00

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

The food descriptions are the best part.

candied puppy brains~~~ :nyoron:

# ¿ Oct 27, 2011 21:20

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

The food descriptions are the best part.

I ate a delicious shawarma today. Chicken and "beef", on a bed of lettuce and onions, sauced with hummus, garlic puree, and sesame sauce, wrapped in a warm pita. It was delicious.

You know, I never got around to making a Let's Cook! HBO's GoT Lemoncakes video. I have two recipes to film myself failing at now, I should really do that.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2011 23:36

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

bigmcgaffney posted:

By the way BoT, when is Gregor Clegane, PI going to go to his colleague Hard Boiled Edd for assistance?

Well, if you'll recall from the last chapter, Clegane shared a drink with Jaime Lannister after senselessly beating a bartender to death, then left to go visit the High Septon.

I've read quite a bit more Dashiell Hammett since then, so I hope the series becomes more noirish than before.

# ¿ Oct 28, 2011 14:53

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Proposition Joe posted:

Hey guys guess what, its the movie we've all been waiting for!

http://www.avclub.com/articles/film-version-of-george-rr-martins-wild-cards-in-th,64205/

A Uwe Boll Film

# ¿ Oct 28, 2011 23:51

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

It's clearly Hot Pie and an apple pie.

Just like a woman, oh yeah.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2011 02:13

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

I wonder. How do our UK Wildcards pronounce GRRM? I understand the RRs are silent, as in wanker or bastard.

GMMM

# ¿ Oct 30, 2011 05:12

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Yeah, I don't particularly like reading all the books in a series over again when a new book comes out. That's impractical as hell for something with brief books, nevermind skull-crushing tomes. I have better things to do than read the same book over and over every few years just to refresh myself.

I'd rather read the same book cover to cover twice in a row because it's just too awesome to do anything else with. That's great writing.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2011 04:47

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Azure_Horizon posted:

Then use the Internet.

Because I really want to hang out with a browser open while I read. That just sounds so fun.

# ¿ Oct 31, 2011 12:17

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Jon Connington jerking off to the thought of doing Aegon in the butt is totally not a GRRM thing to write. It's about a man wanting to gently caress another man, after all, so best to just allude to that in a way which leaves some readers totally oblivious to it and have somewhat gross descriptions of hetero and lesbian action because that's the intercourse GRRM likes to pull his pud over. Myrish swamps and sticky princes ahoy!

vvv I kind of miss MaidSpock. Spock and the Dalek doesn't have quite the same :wtf:

charm.

Blade_of_tyshalle fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Oct 31, 2011

# ¿ Oct 31, 2011 20:46

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

IRQ posted:

Slander implies falsehood.

Slander?! I would never stoop so low!

Slander is spoken; when it's written, it's libel.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2011 04:23

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Paperback Writer posted:

I can't wait for Rickon to come riding Shaggydog with Lady to save the day.

We may joke about a lot of things here, but I think beastiality is crossing the line, sorry.

# ¿ Nov 2, 2011 05:02

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

The Brienne/Sansa thing would have made a lot more sense if Sansa's chapters were bumped back to Dance. It was really sabotaging the tension to have Brienne looking hard for that girl and for us to know "oh yeah, she's over here far away with a creepy guy who wants to bone her mom via daughter-proxy"

# ¿ Nov 3, 2011 01:41

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Jon's just going to wind up warging into one of Dany's dragons, as befits his bloodline.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2011 23:49

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Snarling bare-knuckle brawling. That's what I expect in every piece of fiction I read, and Richard Sharpe never disappoints. :britain:

# ¿ Nov 5, 2011 02:10

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Oh boy, that just sounds so thrilling. Bran the History Text. I can't wait for him to start sperging out and alienating his friends while he eats Cheetos and slams back a Dew in his parents' basement.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2011 20:20

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

zocio posted:

Well, books are made of trees so... maybe Ramsay goes north?

You know, I think a whole series of Ramsay Bolton going all over Westeros would be great. He'd be the perpetual outsider, able to grant insight into each culture.

It would be called "Places to Go, People to Flay"

# ¿ Nov 6, 2011 16:17

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Eat, Flay, Rape (Not Necessarily in that Order)
by Chef Ramsay Bolton

# ¿ Nov 6, 2011 21:04

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Why cookie Rocket posted:

Why even try to help an American who tries to use British slang? They're clearly beyond saving.

Oi, wanker. Stop being such a bell-end, mate. That's loving bollocks is what that is.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2011 04:04

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

"kebab" is limey slang?

Is it slang for meat spitted on a stick, perhaps with vegetables and grilled? Because I'm pretty sure the lebanese coined that word already.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2011 04:26

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Well, apparently all Germans spoke in British accents during WW2, except for Claus von Stauffenberg. So says the historical documentary Valkyrie.

# ¿ Nov 7, 2011 16:33

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Devorum posted:

This is the least true statement I have ever read in this thread.

My love for Starscream comes entirely from years spent mocking him for being absolutely ineffectual and cowardly. Robot Chicken honestly has nothing on the World's Worst Fanfic when it comes to Starscream being a walking joke.

# ¿ Nov 10, 2011 02:06

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

whowhatwhere posted:

�A Thrones-based social networking game � think FarmVille comes to Westeros � is also in the works.

Ned Stark needs someone to adopt this baby direwolf! Click here to adopt this baby direwolf and earn 300G!

# ¿ Nov 10, 2011 20:46

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

I'm having a really hard time imagining Wolfenstein with braid-tugging. Does MechaHitler dress like a samurai?

# ¿ Nov 11, 2011 02:15

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Why cookie Rocket posted:

Dinobot from Beast Wars. Actually, because Beast Wars has actual characterization, a lot of analagous characters suggest themselves. Qyburn is Tarantulas, Cercei is Blackarachnia, Viserys is Terrorsaur, Depthcharge is Brienne, Ramsey is Inferno, Tyrion is Rattrap, John Snow is Tigatron, and Bran is Cheetor.

Last but not least, of course, Beric Dondarrion is Waspinator.

And that's probably the nerdiest saddest post I will ever, ever make.

Except everyone is loving scared of Depth Charge. And THAPPHIRETH is Waspinator. Also Blackarachnia eventually falls in love with Silverbolt and becomes a Maximal, not continues to gently caress her relatives and everyone else in sight and eventually winds up in prison because she brought back a religious army. :colbert:

Viserys is Megatron. Plotting, schemeing, speaking grandly, he's even a goddamn dragon at the end.

I noticed you also forgot Optimus, Rhinox, Scorpinox, Airrazor, and let's even say Tigerhawk despite him being Tigatron and Airrazor duct taped together by evil rastafarian aliens.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2011 15:32

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

The bottom ones aren't particularly funny. I mean, none of them are funny exactly, but the last four are even worse.

# ¿ Nov 11, 2011 22:44

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

gently caress all y'all, the best RPG I ever played as a kid was ~~Furcadia~~ Dungeon Hack. Randomly generated infinite dungeons, murdering wave after wave of bugbears, orcs, and nagas.

It fit on only four 3.5" floppies!

# ¿ Nov 15, 2011 01:08

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

I wonder how outraged he is about the Penn State thing. It's got football and rape, two of his favourite topics!

# ¿ Nov 16, 2011 01:53

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

General Battuta posted:

I want to know where to spend my precious holiday hours

You could always read Flashman, Horatio Hornblower, or Sharpe's Nouns. Far better use of time.

# ¿ Nov 21, 2011 21:00

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

whowhatwhere posted:

I think you got confused there. We were talking about books with better-written prose than ASOIAF.

I was talking books with better-written prose than China Mieville, actually.

# ¿ Nov 22, 2011 02:15

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Azure_Horizon posted:

Sure. Keep telling yourself that.

But you do know nothing. That's plain as day.

# ¿ Nov 23, 2011 16:02

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Give azure_horizon a break, guys. Would you criticise Johnny Ramone for thinking chord progressions are stupid, that all you need are three basic chords over and over? Hell no. A_h is the same way. He's a rebel, a punk, and someday soon he'll run away and join the Ice Capades. And then he'll die. Oh yeah.

# ¿ Nov 24, 2011 01:22

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

No. He did die, but not because he joined the Ice Capades. He did go down to Frisco and join the SLA, however.

# ¿ Nov 24, 2011 02:12

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Khoo'loo

# ¿ Nov 24, 2011 19:01

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

KJ Anderson and Brian Herbert, come on down! You're the next authors on A Song of Ice and Fire!

This evening, the role of Jaime Lannister shall be played by Drew Carey.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2011 00:54

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Both dragons and magic returned because of an outside force, obviously.

The comet/meteor everyone was sperging about earlier in the series! When it crashes into the world, it will explode and cover the planet in phazon dust. Sansa will have to don an ancient suit of armour from the Arryns and run around the ruins of Westeros trying to repair her ship while fighting off Lannister troops subjected to bizarre experiments (oh no, Omega Clegane!) and eventually having a fight atop a temple against a robotic version of Petyr Baelish who is vulnerable to plasma shots, before descending into the meteor crater to deal with a giant Cersei.

# ¿ Nov 27, 2011 22:04

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 13:07

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

neongrey posted:

Nah, it'll have landed and started burrowing deep into the earth and start force-evolving all life on the planet as a delicious snack later. In a few dozen million years there'll be floating continents and poo poo, until some meddling kids, their pet frog, and a robot decide to make it crash.

I don't have any idea what this is.

# ¿ Nov 29, 2011 16:26

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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