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My tequila is warm because I'm too lazy to put it back in the freezer. I've binged through the 2005 Doctor Who until season five and it loving sucks now. David Tennant, how could you do this to me?  I watch Torchwood just to drool over John Barrowman and feel nostalgic about Doctors Nine/Ten and Rose but when I'm in bed, the angle on my monitor makes everything slightly too dark and I have to sit up to see anything. Dad's girlfriend keeps yelling questions at me from the kitchen and it's mildly annoying.
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Sep 24, 2011 21:09
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| # ¿ May 18, 2024 19:47 |
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I ran out of tequila and I'm just not drunk enough but the store is five minutes away. I don't want to walk. I can only find Secret Smile on Youtube and the quality isn't good enough to satisfy my raging David Tennant fetish. My room's slightly too warm.
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Sep 25, 2011 05:29
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I was too lazy to go to the store, so I drank the wine in the fridge and now I have to replace it or risk social awkwardness. I can't find any shows I want to watch.
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Sep 25, 2011 06:50
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My clinical rotation this term is scheduled from 5-9 pm on Friday. So I have four hours of down time between work and clinic. Four hours is just enough time to wind down and relax, but I won't be able to because of clinic.  Folding fenestrated drapes sucks because I can't get the edges even. My cuffs always get caught on my thumbs when I practice closed gloving so I have to very carefully flail around to try and get free without breaking the sterile field. My boyfriend wants to watch a movie I suggested but I don't want to now because I'd rather watch sexy youtube videos of David Tennant all night. I might have a problem.
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Sep 27, 2011 23:24
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I followed a link on PYF funny picture to the Sassy Gay Doctor site and looked at them all. So now I have to wait for more to be posted. There weren't nearly enough of Nine. He was totally the sassiest.
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Oct 4, 2011 00:04
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I'm too lazy to walk five minutes to Starbucks to get a free coffee off the card someone gifted me. I really want coffee though...why the hell can't we teleport things yet?
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Jan 14, 2012 18:06
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I found some frozen waffles in the back of the fridge and got excited. But they were low-fat. Who the hell buys low-fat frozen waffles? You're just going to smother them in syrup any drat way. They tasted like multi-grain cardboard. 
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Jan 16, 2012 17:18
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My driver's side window won't roll up the last four inches. If it's raining while I have to drive I'll get wet. Also it looks stupid to drape a garbage bag over the window, but it keeps my car smelling like mold-rear end, so. Also my wireless mouse died and I'm too lazy to drive to get AAA batteries. Yesterday I went out for smokes and the convenience store only had AA. One of my sister's cats has attached itself to me and it cries and follows me around whenever I'm home and not on my bed. Also it chews my cords. Cat, stop chewing the loving cords and I will pet you forever, I swear to loving Christ why does my sister have five cats when she doesn't give any of them attention.
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Sep 2, 2013 04:07
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I ordered a pizza earlier and my friends' pizza came out right away so we sat in the car to wait on mine. One of the pizza guys brought it out to us in the rain but forgot my garlic butter. I didn't say anything because that was such a nice gesture from him but I really wanted that garlic butter.
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Nov 1, 2013 03:30
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I went to an co-worker's adult toy party before Christmas and got myself a present. Everyone else got theirs over a week ago but mine was never delivered. I called the hostess up and the tracking number said it was sent to my house on the 21st. Someone stole my vibrator off my porch and now my co-workers won't stop heckling me about calling the Dildo Police.
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Jan 3, 2014 04:29
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I have chicken in the fridge but I can't remember why I bought it. What was I going to make? Why did I buy this chicken?
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Jan 15, 2014 22:47
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I have to go in a 9am tomorrow, which means I can sleep in, but also means when I walk into work I'll have no idea what's happening. I kind of like it because it means I can just waltz in and start the surgeries with the doctors, but if our manager is there I won't have any buildup defense to her crazy. I need my co-workers to ring me while I'm driving in so I can have time to brace myself for the latest ~OMG NEW RuLeS~ that contradict her other rules that I've been doing for months. Why do I work here again?
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Jan 17, 2014 04:47
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My friend threw an absolute shitfit tonight because I refuse to drive 25 mins to her house and take her to get Wendy's, using up all my gas and prob 2 hours of my night. She texted me this huge rant about how I'm a selfish oval office because I won't be her loving chauffeur. Bitch, I work tomorrow, stop trying to guilt-trip me because you want a frostie. I guess her first world problem is that I won't drive her rear end around. Mine is that my friend sucks and tries to make me feel lovely for not doing every little thing she wants.
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Jan 24, 2014 02:40
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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:I can't decide if I want to buy a silver plated or a gold plated dagger replica from Supernatural. Ah, ahhhh, I want a link to this so badly but I don't need to blow my money on sparkly bits from Supernatural. Oh, Flanders, you foul temptress!
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Jan 25, 2014 22:18
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~pretty~
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Netflix's ranking options don't include a "I liked it, but only ironically" button. Just because I loved this horrible B movie doesn't mean I want to wade through suggestions of a dozen others that aren't as perfectly stupid. For that matter, it doesn't have a "I loved it, but only because of nostalgia" button. Just because I like one rom com from when I was a kid, doesn't mean I like them, dammit. Forget Skynet, how long until Netflix becomes self aware?
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Mar 2, 2014 05:28
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At the vet clinic where I work an older woman came in to drop her dog off for grooming and poo poo her pants in the lobby. I know it's terrible and not funny but I still can't stop laughing every time I think of it. She walked out with her underwear in a trash bag. I am a terrible person but I can't stop laughing.
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Mar 6, 2014 04:22
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I was wandering through some alternate views of Game of Thrones and the phrase, "a less naive Ned Stark" made me laugh so hard I choked on my own spit and saw God a little. I think I've had orgasms that were less intense. That kind of poo poo should come with a warning.
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Apr 1, 2014 05:57
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I came in to work 2 hours after we opened yesterday and the surgery board said one dog would get full bloodwork. So I pulled the panel and sent it off, only to notice that Alison hadn't charged for it and when I asked, she acted like I wasn't supposed to do it at all. It was on the board, dammit. Al, you even went over the board with me before I started.  Can't wait to see what work is like today.
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Apr 4, 2014 18:48
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My sister's cat knows my phone alarm means I'm supposed to be up, so this morning she heard it, came running and walked all over me repeatedly while I used the snooze. Then she licked my loving eyelids to get me to wake up. Wtf, my whole face and you choose my eyelids? Also one of the doctors busted open a pyometra today, so half of my day was bathing my nostrils in horrible, rotten pus-filled uterus stench. No, I'm not sympathetic that you got it on your pants, I was the one who had to scrub pus and blood clots off of everything in the surgery room. Ugh, it was so gross. The senior doctor laughed his, totally clean, rear end off the whole time. Ah, please people, spay your goddamn dogs. A hundred spent early is two to three hundred saved.
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Apr 18, 2014 03:26
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A client gave me a Starbucks card as a thank you gift. There's a Starbucks about five minutes away in a Target, but putting on real clothes and driving there is too much effort.
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May 4, 2014 16:29
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Ever since I watched it months ago, Yellowbrickroad has been haunting me. It's not a great movie--the ending is crap, for one. But drat, I think about that movie almost every day. I want to watch it again but I'm afraid that if I do, the magical fascination will die. It's just such a weird movie about nostalgia, loss and the simple horror of existing. Also I don't want to drive five minutes to the store for smokes. I wish I lived in a city where I could walk places again. I'd have smokes and a moon pie right now.
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May 15, 2014 20:40
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The fries at the Vittles by my work used to be amazing, now they are soggy, limp and fairly tasteless. But I keep ordering them because I am full of hope that they will become amazing again.
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May 31, 2014 03:19
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I feel pressured to be social this evening when all I want to do is drink and watch a movie in my dark bedroom. I haven't talked to my sister's friend in fifteen years, why is she so excited to see me, I don't even remember her dammit. Also I ran out of my organic blackberry preserves so now I have to work on my multiple jars of imported English marmalade. It's still good, but the blackberry is better.
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Jun 29, 2014 22:48
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My family wants me to spend the 4th of July with them, but I know I'll have way more fun if I go to my friend's house. Also my boss's wife, the so-called hospital manager for the vet clinic I work at, is insane. She called to ask me what was going on because both lines were busy for ten minutes and when I asked to call her back because I had people on hold and a full lobby, she flat-out refused, then bitched about my co-workers and why weren't they helping? Obviously we're busy, ok, I can't spend ten minutes on the phone explaining that my co-workers are doing their jobs but are overwhelmed because you would rather not hire an appropriate amount of staff. No, I don't know where Lindsey is at this moment, I've been glued to the phone. And when I call for her on my pager to appease you, she's helping a Doctor, doing her goddamn job that you don't think she does. Why the gently caress my employers think a constant skeleton staff is a good idea, I will never understand. Christ, we have to sneak around to help each other do tasks safely, like restrain an animal for a nail trim so our other co-worker won't be dodging teeth. And it's policy to not have owners restrain, but every goddamn tech appointment I get, I have to have the owner hold because I have no right to ask for assistance. If my co-workers weren't so loving awesome, I would've quit long ago. Also this is the only job ever where I'm required to write down my times for each task on a loving flow-chart to "prove" I'm doing my job and where I am at any given moment of the day. Wtf kind of poo poo is that. empty sea has a new favorite as of 03:10 on Jul 4, 2014 |
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Jul 4, 2014 03:07
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I got Chinese and my mongolian beef isn't as tasty as I'd hoped. It's still good, just not as good as I've had at other places. Also I have to wait four whole days until the second season of Hemlock Grove. I don't want to wait! I want to get my mind blown now!
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Jul 8, 2014 03:29
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When a friend mentions something she saw online and I laugh and reference a much more terrible thing, that to me is merely another terrible thing in a sea of horrifying bullshit...and her blank face reminds me that most people live casual, normal lives and don't encounter things on the internet. I have seen goatse. I don't even flinch anymore, why would I? I've seen far worse. Goatse is, well, it's goatse, hardly anything to get worked up about. My friends have never seen goatse, they wouldn't understand even the idea of the things I've seen. For every internet fable they spew, I have a hundred worse. I am Legion. I am terribly alone.
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Jul 9, 2014 05:10
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Shadow of the Colossus is the best game, I feel your pain fellowgoon. That is the only game where my swearing actually unnerved my boyfriend. loving bullshit controls. I want to quit my job because the owner's wife is utterly insane, but I totally, totally love working with every other person there. I'll miss my friends if I quit, but I'll finally be free of the crazy. This woman is an utter nightmare, micro-managing shitstorm personified, she just takes every tiny thing and blows it up into a nuclear holocaust. I asked a yes or no question and got loving rear end-raped for thirty minutes about how I should have read her loving mind or something and how I'm such a loving terrible worker. Yeah, blame me for wasting six seconds to ask you when you waste thirty loving minutes to blast me about it. And the only reason I asked is because every employee is poo poo scared of doing the wrong thing because everything we do is wrong according to you. Why do I have to utterly love working with everyone else. I wish I could hate them all so it would be easy to quit.
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Aug 1, 2014 02:56
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I was supposedly told to perform a procedure on Wednesday on a dog in a way that, once explained a day later, was so laughable that I thought it was a loving joke. Which is probably why I didn't recognize my instructions? The Doctor on duty and I did it the correct and safe way and were completely bitched out by the practice owners because it took more time? and personnel and both those are apparently money. But, you know, being sued because a needle lacerated an unattended dog's spleen is a total write off. Or having the tub occupied for 2 hours and the groomer unable to use it, that's just dandy too. Two people tapping fluid from an unsedated dog's abdomen in a safe and correct manner for thirty minutes is wrong. One person and one trainee with no animal experience leaving an aggressive dog with 18g needles sticking out of its abdomen to drain for 2hrs with minimal supervision is apparently right. We're not even supposed to leave a muzzled dog unattended, much less a muzzled dog with needles poking out of it. My first world problem is that I can't believe I got yelled at for doing the right thing both for my doctor, myself, my hospital and the dog. Jesus Christ.
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Aug 8, 2014 22:12
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My friend and I are completely unable to drunkenly cook lemon bars. No, not even from a recipe. Or another recipe, or another. It ends up either dry, inedible crap or syrupy inedible crap. I just want to drink and eat some lemon bars, ok? They don't even have to be really good, the alcohol takes care of that. Also I have to open at work the next five days because I've risen too high in the chain of command at my lovely job. Why couldn't I be stupid and useless? Or new and clueless? Then I wouldn't have to work so much. Or open all the drat time. poo poo, guys, just let me come in at 9 when surgery starts, ok? I'm the nurse, I'm the only loving nurse, let me sleep in a bit. But nooooo If I have to calm down old ladies while they're sobbing and holding their poodles, 7 am is not optimal for me. I'm just saying. Christ almighty, don't clutch your dog and cry hysterically at me before it's loving 8 am. I cannot deal with that.
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Sep 27, 2014 03:21
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My sister's turkey and dressing are dry as hell and I didn't bring nearly enough home from my friend's thanksgiving dinner, where the turkey, dressing, etc were actually moist and delicious. I just want a good leftovers sandwich dammit
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Nov 30, 2014 00:27
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On the way home after raiding my friend's mom's fridge like we were teenagers, my caramel pie leftovers smooshed into my chocolate pie leftovers. I know it will totally taste amazing togther but I wanted to eat it separately. Also I got $40 worth of CVS giftcards and I have no idea what to use it on. Who shops at CVS?
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Dec 26, 2014 05:00
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| # ¿ May 18, 2024 19:47 |
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I can't sleep, been listening/watching the Rifftrax'd Birdemic for over twenty hours, I might be going insane. At least it isn't The Room, nobody could do that with The Room. The only movie worse is Star Wars Holiday Special, that poo poo took loving years off my life.
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Jan 31, 2015 11:33
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