When Footballers Go Feral: big Tom givin a horse a handbeezy

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > When Footballers Go Feral: big Tom givin a horse a handbeezy

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trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

I don't see how anybody can badmouth Juventus with their Jeeps after it yielded classy clips like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO249QRAdxA

# ¿ Mar 22, 2013 03:19

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 03:48

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Raheem Sterling was arrested for assault last night, according to the Daily Mail.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2013 12:09

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Was Taters posted:

Hope Solo arrested in domestic disturbance.

Ladies getting in on that feral action.

She seems nice

# ¿ Jun 22, 2014 01:52

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

The best part is that FIGC knew about his comments and could've avoided this controversy/embarrassment by just not electing the bastard, but voted him in anyways.

# ¿ Oct 9, 2014 06:33

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Hope Solo is a real piece of work.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2015 00:24

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Frimpong was sent off with a straight red for reacting to a fan racially abusing him today against Spartak Moscow

# ¿ Jul 17, 2015 20:18

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Frimpong was given a 2 match ban for his "offensive behavior" towards Spartak Moscow supporters that were doing racist chants towards him. At the same time, the Russian football federation found "no evidence" of racist behavior by the Spartak supporters, even though on the video you can clearly hear them making monkey noises towards him.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2015 19:13

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

blue footed boobie posted:

http://www.marca.com/en/2015/11/10/en/football/real_madrid/1447155584.html

Apparently Benzema's conversations with Calvin's Valbuena were recorded. This one is from Marca and is supposedly biased in its translation. Apparently there's a full transcript out there.

AS gave a translation of it today

http://as.com/diarioas/2015/11/11/english/1447270257_536025.html

# ¿ Nov 12, 2015 01:08

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Hegay posted:

Benzema is going to jail, and hell, I'm not glad.

This will mean Morata will definitely go back to Madrid next summer, now I'm not glad.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2015 16:59

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

phwoar push that out, what a son

# ¿ Feb 13, 2016 21:12

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Pablo Armero knows how to live it up in Miami, this happened the night Colombia played Haiti in a friendly.

quote:

According to the arrest report, officers responded to the Metropolitan Hotel at 2445 Collins Avenue after the hotel's general manager said he received several complaints about the couple staying in Armero's room.

When officers went to his room, they found a woman who was crying and was missing a portion of her hair, the report said. Armero told the officers that he had been out drinking with the woman and they got back to the room where she asked him to cut her hair so he did, the report said.

But the woman told officers that when Armero said he wanted to get intimate with her and she said she didn't want to because she was tired, he became irate and physical, the report said. The woman said her necklace was yanked off her neck and then Armero grabbed a hair clipper and "forcefully" began to trim her hair, the report said.

When officers asked if she had asked him to cut her hair, she started crying and said "Why would I asked him to cut my hair?" the report said.

The woman told officers there has been a history of domestic violence between them, the report said. The report didn't say what their relationship is.

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Colombian-Soccer-Player-Pablo-Armero-Arrested-for-Battery-at-Miami-Beach-Hotel-Police-381447791.html

# ¿ Jun 1, 2016 01:20

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

You won't believe this, but a football player has been filmed having sex with another friend in the room.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3705521/Distraught-Liverpool-star-Nathaniel-Clyne-calls-police-sex-tape-leaked-internet.html

# ¿ Jul 25, 2016 00:09

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/English_AS/status/768049887921500160

# ¿ Aug 23, 2016 13:02

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Big Sam is getting paid

https://twitter.com/Telegraph/status/780510135219326976

# ¿ Sep 26, 2016 21:59

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

blue footed boobie posted:

Will he actually get sacked over this? I would think he would, but also I can't imagine the FA wanting to do another manager search.

It'll be Klinsmann

# ¿ Sep 26, 2016 22:42

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

I didn't notice this sidebar to that article when I was reading it on my phone earlier:

quote:

The Telegraph began investigating corruption in English football last year after receiving information that specific managers, officials and agents were taking or receiving cash payments to secure player transfers. Over the coming days the Telegraph will detail how:

The assistant manager of a high-profile football club accepted a �5,000 cash �bung�

Ten managers were named by players� agents as taking bribes to fix player transfers

Two well-known managers discussed becoming ambassadors for the same fictitious firm as Sam Allardyce

Another high-profile manager admitted his players broke FA rules by betting on their own games but he failed to report it

A senior figure at a Premier League club helped undercover reporters to formulate a plan to bribe managers

# ¿ Sep 26, 2016 22:48

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

TheBigAristotle posted:

Who's playing Big Sam in the film?

Meat Loaf

# ¿ Sep 27, 2016 22:09

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/DailyMirror/status/796064237382733824

what a great collection of people in that family

# ¿ Nov 8, 2016 20:01

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Don't really know where else to post this, but 13 people were killed and many injured after a car bomb exploded outside of Besiktas Stadium today

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-38276794

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTHSD5ty9LM

# ¿ Dec 10, 2016 22:46

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

serious gaylord posted:

https://twitter.com/LowkeyMo_/status/813897768792129536

Lmao holy poo poo

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 02:31

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

lol

https://twitter.com/ed_aarons/status/814136673994936320

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 16:59

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

I hope the drip doc ladies get a reality show now

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 17:56

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/IndyFootball/status/814429836403937284

# ¿ Dec 29, 2016 12:52

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Soulex posted:

What!?

Read the article I posted above, it describes the rule he violated

# ¿ Jan 6, 2017 05:37

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Cpt. Mahatma Gandhi posted:

lol what was he even doing in LA anyway

He literally goes there to hang out at whatever clubs wannabe Kardashians hang out these days.

# ¿ Jan 6, 2017 20:24

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/waatpies/status/831112777792106497

Broken Turkey

# ¿ Feb 13, 2017 13:57

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

http://m.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/ch...tail/story.html

First it was horses, now we're punching bald eagles

# ¿ Mar 22, 2017 11:03

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

blue footed boobie posted:

He paid a surrogate to bear his artificially inseminated child because he did not want to have sex with a woman.

I think you might be thinking of Michael Jackson

# ¿ Apr 16, 2017 23:46

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

I hope Germany does the right thing and closes their borders to, uh, day traders.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2017 13:33

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

blue footed boobie posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/SkySportsNewsHQ/status/874570976117305349

Ronald has been accused of doing a bigger tax fraud than Messi.

He's the best of the best, op

# ¿ Jun 13, 2017 14:32

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/IndyFootball/status/875237688676237312
Modric is taking a lot of heat due to some shady business arrangements involving his transfer to Tottenham. Dinamo Zagreb's owner Zdravko Mamic ended up taking a huge chunk of the transfer fee personally, instead of it going to the club. Modric has changed his testimony to seemingly protect Mamic.

Sounds like a fun trial.

quote:

Modric has previously been called �Mamic�s cash machine�, but now, with him denying the prosecution the very essential element of his testimony, he�s about to become a despised figure by large sections of football fans.

The trial was supposed to continue after Modric�s testimony with Liverpool�s Dejan Lovren, another one of �Mamic�s players�, testifying.

However, Mamic made a big scene in the courtroom on Wednesday morning, quarreling with his own lawyers before firing them in front of everybody, saying he�ll defend himself.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2017 21:25

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

blue footed boobie posted:

Modric is apparently under investigation for perjury in Croatia. There's some weird backstory to it involving the owner of Zagreb that I don't really understand.

I posted a link to a story on the previous page of this thread that explains it decently.

# ¿ Jun 19, 2017 18:29

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/English_AS/status/883010807755407361
When Footballers Go Feral: The Drugs, Rape, Mutiny and Handjob Megathread

# ¿ Jul 6, 2017 19:10

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

quote:

Former Parma player Solomon Nyantakyi has confessed to the murder of his mother and 11-year-old sister, as former Coaches reveal he suffered from depression.

The stabbing shocked the city of Parma, as his elder brother Raymond Nyantakyi returned home from work on Tuesday evening and discovered the scene of the crime.

He found 43-year-old Nfum Patience and 11-year-old Magdalene Nyantakyi stabbed to death. Their father Fred was working in London at the time and trying to lay down roots for his family to follow.

He was stopped by police in Milan and confessed to the crime last night.

The 21-year-old midfielder was a very promising prospect in the Parma youth academy until their bankruptcy in 2015.

�I remember Solomon, he trained with us at Parma and I had him on the bench more than once during Serie A games,� said former Parma Coach Roberto Donadoni, now at Bologna.

�I remember he was very calm, even taciturn. If it really was him who did this, I can�t think what went through his mind. He was a midfielder in the Parma youth academy, then I don�t know what path he took after the bankruptcy.

He moved on to the Tuttocuoio youth team, then played in Serie D with Imolese last season.

Nyantakyi�s contract was not renewed this summer, reportedly after he fell in with a bad crowd, and he is currently a free agent.

I don't think he'll be a free anything for much longer

# ¿ Jul 12, 2017 17:45

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/maddie_m_lee/status/900871320568811520
I'm surprised this is illegal in Mormon country

# ¿ Aug 25, 2017 02:53

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/NizaarKinsella/status/914114875525300224
everything about this is :discourse:

# ¿ Sep 30, 2017 17:12

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/Chris78Williams/status/926548617762103299

# ¿ Nov 4, 2017 17:36

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Bacon Terrorist posted:

Robinho sentenced to 9 years in prison for his part in a 2013 gang rape in Italy whilst he was playing for AC Milan

He won't serve a single day

# ¿ Nov 23, 2017 18:34

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Weaponized Cum posted:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bb2Z8YIlvWq/

lol

# ¿ Nov 23, 2017 21:15

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 03:48

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/dwnews/status/934228898081992706

# ¿ Nov 25, 2017 20:47

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > When Footballers Go Feral: big Tom givin a horse a handbeezy

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