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Chronological order, and if you don't illustrate at least half of them I will actually weep.
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Oct 21, 2011 02:28
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Knight of the 
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 19:08 |
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You have my 5, please come back.  VVV I was kind of kidding and basically wanted to communicate that I 5'd the thread based on the OP alone. VVV Sir Prancelot fucked around with this message at 05:27 on Oct 21, 2011 |
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Oct 21, 2011 05:08
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Would this place be at all appropriate for sharing tales of my college anime club and how it went irreparably insane over the course of a single semester? It went from being a very laid back club for generic nerd interests to a coven of crazed 18 year old girls who believed they were a wolf pack in less than two months. It's got stalkers and monsters and all kinds of madness.
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Oct 21, 2011 16:39
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Dr. Hurt posted:I would really like to hear any insane anime club stories, but it is up to the OP. I have the feeling this thread is just going to be a goldmine of horrible people.
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Oct 21, 2011 17:20
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tbp posted:This would be fine if it was written in a funny way but I guess there's no other way to attract legions of grey-person-avs to 'five' and 'epic' your thread without writing in the most boring, 'comedy' style ever. There is a lot of potential for the topic but it's basically helldump for someone that doesn't post on the forums and I bet half this thread would poo poo their pants if they didn't have a Safe Space to post in without being subject to that. edit: Oh.
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Oct 21, 2011 18:11
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Zorblack posted:I'm going to go ahead and [Ask] you to [Tell] us all about it in another thread. I'm sure it has enough meat to stand on it's own. Make a nice long and involved OP like the author of this thread, and you'll be halfway to gold in no time, champ. You can do it, because I believe in you (or at least I believe that a college anime club will be ripe for comedy).  In the meantime, I will love the gently caress out of this thread.
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Oct 21, 2011 19:36
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Spiffo posted:Probably homestuck 
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Oct 21, 2011 20:25
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Brick Shipment posted:Why are people mocking the OP's writing style? No one goes off and gets a creative writing degree just to write a post on the goddamn internet.
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Oct 21, 2011 23:15
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Oh my god that sparkler dick. 
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Oct 22, 2011 01:13
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redmercer posted:I can't watch Gundam because giant robot animu leaves me cold and that's all Gundam has going for it. Can someone give me a six-word description of why Heero Yuy is terrible?
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Oct 22, 2011 08:26
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This whole affair is beginning to remind me of a friend I had in high school. Ha came from Circumstances and one of his primary coping mechanisms was to make himself the center of attention by any means necessary. He did things like claim to be a master hacker who took down the entire Yahoo network in 2001. I remember thinking to myself, "You don't even know how to set up your router, dude."
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Oct 23, 2011 19:22
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Wandering Knitter posted:I had a From Circumstances friend too. For years she did the "I'm a fairy dragon Princess from another planet!" thing until puberty hit. Then she discovered she could get way, way more attention from people by simply loving them.  drat! All Norman ever did was make up bullshit technological/physical feats he achieved far far away from anyone who could witness them.
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Oct 24, 2011 00:36
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ornery bean posted:OP I keep checking this thread like every hour waiting for your next post!!! You keep us eagerly waiting so loonngggggggggg
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Oct 24, 2011 05:36
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hallo spacedog posted:It's funny, because I'm reading this thread, the TVTropes thread and the J-F Bibeau thread in TBB right now, and they all dovetail rather nicely in a strange way.  There's something so... homogeneous about the behavior of crazy fan people.
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Oct 25, 2011 18:20
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Heath posted:A common mental illess.
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Oct 25, 2011 20:34
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Viola the Mad posted:I admit, I'm morbidly curious as to how Hetalia has affected Denise's ideas about the world.
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Oct 26, 2011 00:57
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Doc Hawkins posted:Here's a question: what's a full-body car-hart?  Sweet dreams.
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Oct 28, 2011 16:51
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Clockroach posted:I roomed with a girl from Japan my first semester, Akira and tried to be friends with her, but I must have crossed some line because she got increasingly rude to me as the semesters went on. Other girls on the floor tried to be her friend, too, but they were mainly ignored. When I came back from winter break she had moved somewhere else on campus.
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Oct 30, 2011 20:58
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Wow, a big pile of new posts. I wonder if uglynoodles is back at last?  Oh, it's just a bunch of bellends talking about Canada.
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Nov 2, 2011 15:38
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Domus posted:See, I have the opposite problem. The creepy guy who can't understand it's just a game. Refuses to play any female character. Sir Prancelot posted:When I was still in high school, I gamed with two groups. In one group, I was a player among about six acquaintances. In the other, I ran for a group of four relatively close friends. I have mostly good stories from both groups, full of shenanigans and absurdity on the part of my own players, and genuinely good storytelling on the part of my old DM. It was a fun time all around, and I look back on it fondly. But, as always, there were weirdos. Names, of course, are changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty.
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Nov 3, 2011 03:35
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Can Grognox check if this is an illu-
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ookuwagata posted:Those folks definitely have something going on in the closet...for a second I thought by TG thread you meant the other TG.  I actually neglected to mention what may be the funniest part of the entire affair: Hunter, the guy whose house we used for games, lived with his folks on their expansive rural property on which they raised free range turkeys and other awesome things. It was a quiet, atmospheric place to spend a lonely weekend evening. Unfortunately for Chris, it was also on the end of a mile-long 'driveway' that plunged deep into the piney wilderness. I was Chris's ride for the night. He just walked off into the hills and shrubs in his flipflops, at eight o'clock at night, five miles from home. When the game adjourned he was gone. Come to think of it, I have a lot of Chris stories...
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Nov 3, 2011 04:20
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GreenBuckanneer posted:That dude's a fuckin' weirdo.  I'm somehow the godfather of his daughter now. Since there appears to be some interest, I'll throw a Chris story up later tonight when my other work's done.
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Nov 3, 2011 04:31
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Let me sing for you The Ballad of Chris. When I was sixteen and working in a failing grocery store, I made the acquaintance of a young man named Chris. Chris exhibited all the trademark signs of a useless goonchild, from his obsession with late-90s anime to his vast and lovingly described collection of mail order knives. Still, as evidenced by the stories in this thread, adolescent nerds don't always feel they can afford to be picky with their friends. We liked some of the same geeky things, and he didn't reek of filth. Good enough. To this day, I'm not sure I ever considered Chris a true friend. I didn't exactly trust him with my emotional well-being or anything else beyond getting to games on time and not being a complete poo poo. Chris's home situation was, by his own admission, not great. His family was perpetually impoverished, living in a converted (immobile) trailer in the boonies. His dad was insane, which will come up later on. Chris himself was a typical neurotic, scrawny geek. At five and a half feet tall, he probably weighed 98 pounds soaking weight and carrying a mid-size dog. Despite this, he was convinced that he was a ripped killing machine, and often tried to demonstrate his physical prowess to female co-workers by carrying industrial sacks of rice up and down the aisles, huffing and wheezing the whole while. As someone who was (and is) shaped a little too much like a Hobbit and perfectly at peace with that, it was embarrassing to watch. As a matter of fact, much of Chris's geeky insanity centered around his longing to be good at things. If most geeky girls escape by imagining relationships, most geeky boys escape by imagining skills. Both groups have the loonies for whom the pretending leaks into reality. Chris had many skills: -Chris could run five miles without stopping (Chris had trouble walking a single mile without wheezing). -Chris was an elite hacker cracker who took down the entire Yahoo network in a single night (Chris did not know how to configure his own router, or set a password on his eMachines computer). -Chris had been trained in the art of throwing knives in combat by his dead grandfather (Chris owned no throwing knives and could not demonstrate this; both his grandfathers died when he was an infant). -Chris could outrun a car (Chris was actually struck by a car in the parking lot of our work). The list goes on, but you don't want that. What you want are stories. For now I have a couple of short ones, both centered around Chris's love life. This was before we formed the gaming group. Chris in Love: Chapter One: The Courtship Throughout our time at the grocery store, Chris nursed an affection cum obsession for a checkout girl named Lisa. His attraction to Lisa, to my knowledge, was motivated by three factors: She was not abjectly hideous, she played Magic: The Gathering, and she had not yet told him to leave her the gently caress alone. He never really spoke to her, just paraded around in front of her and brought her things he thought she might like, like some kind of half-retarded cat. One of Chris's gifts to Lisa, handed off on the sly like a packet of condoms, was a home-burned mix CD of anime songs that reminded him of her. Lisa did not watch anime, and at the time I wasn't even sure she knew what anime was or what language all these mystery songs were in. When she received the gift, she didn't even thank Chris. All she could do was mouth, wide-eyed, "O... kay," and tuck the CD into the pocket in her apron. I think Chris's fevered nerd mind interpreted her awkward acceptance of the gift as a reciprocation of his affections, because after that he took to calling Lisa 'my girl,' though never in her company or the company of anyone liable to talk to her about his creepiness. Basically he made up a little pocket reality in which they were dating and kept this from her so that she couldn't burst his bubble with the truth. Of course, this didn't stop him from continuing to pull absurd stunts in an effort to impress her. Chris in Love: Chapter Two: Chris Defends a Fair Maiden's Honor I mentioned before that Lisa played MTG, which was at least half the reason Chris imagined he had anything even resembling a chance with her. Being a moderately attractive hirl who played a nerdy, nerdy game, she occasionally got poo poo for it from some of the insecure un-nerdy guys at the store. She owned her geeky interests and had a social life (more than most of us could claim at the time) so it was no big deal to her. But oh, how Chris stewed in hatred for those who spoke against his one true anime mix tape soul mate.His simmering hate cauldron didn't tip over until Lisa started playing Yugioh with her younger sister and getting poo poo for that. In a remarkably mature move on Lisa's part, she grew to enjoy and reciprocate the guys' mockery. After all, Yugioh was a kids' TCG and taking it seriously when you're any older than twelve is just weird. Chris either missed the friendly nature the sarcasm between the guys and Lisa had developed or saw it as some kind of threat to his claim to her heart. I'll never be sure, but it all culminated in Chris barreling into the break room one stormy evening with a busted lip and what appeared to be crushed ice in his hair, a manic and satisfied expression on his face. Lisa, myself, and a guy called Carter who will figure into later stories, were enjoying our microwaved vending machine sandwiches when he burst in. Carter : Uh. Hey Chris. The gently caress happened to your hair?Prancelot  : It hailing outsi-Chris  : LISA.Lisa  : Yyyyes?: I found- *swallows, gasps for breath* I found Paul and Joseph. And they were mocking you. You know like how you play Duel Mosnters and they make fun of you? I came up to them and I was like. I was like you better give that the Hell up. : They pop you in the face for that? : NNNNNNO!  See this? See it? *pointing with great gusto to his bleeding mouth* This is where I headbutted Paul when he challenged me? And I said- : Get out, Chris. : Wh- what? *looks to me helplessly, hoping for backup* : Get out, go back to work, go away. : Well. I. We'll discuss this matter later! *gathers himself up in a teary huff and whirls out the door* : Don't look at me, I ain't gonna follow him.Chris in Love: Chapter Three: Chris is Rebuked After the 'I beat up your friends over Yugioh for you' incident, Lisa no longer suffered Chris to speak to her. Everyone involved recognized that this had been a long time coming. Everyone, that is, except for poor Chris. Chris bitched and sulked endlessly about how his valiant effort had been wasted and how clearly no one cared about him or wanted him to be happy. Any friendly advice along the lines of "That was weird and uncalled for, maybe you ought to step back from what this girl does to your brain," was met with derisive, self-pitying sighs and the insistance that I just didn't understand. Eventually, Chris's fixation on Lisa seemed to abate. After a few weeks of sulking he stopped mentioning her, longingly staring at her, and trying to slip gifts into her apron. All was well, or at least as well as it could be. Then Joe arrived on the scene. It should be noted that I already knew Joe from the comic shop my gaming group met at. He was a cool guy from a broken family and gamed to take his mind off the fact that he couldn't see his younger sisters in their own house since his mother had decided she hated him for deciding to live with and support his disabled dad. It was all very heartbreaking. One evening Joe came into the store, arms flung open and a huge smile on his face. Lisa practically leaped out from behind her register corral and into his arms while the older employees looked on with fond smiles. They knew Lisa's parents and their troubles, and what their disagreements did to their kids. Chris did not. Like a man possessed, Chris let out a primal scream of rage and loss and began what would be a long tradition of dramatic exits. Filled to bursting with grief at his perceived betrayal, Chris made a mad dash for the automatic sliding doors, surely intent on running out into the night to go mad with grief and leave Lisa mourning him. BLAM. The doors did not open. In our poverty-stricken store, they often didn't. Chris bounced off the solid panel of glass and metal and flopped onto the linoleum like a stunned fish. After a moment of stunned silence he managed to gather himself up, slide the now off-track and broken door to one side, and stagger out into the night. It was, at that time in my life, the saddest and most hilarious thing I had ever seen.
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Nov 3, 2011 19:27
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Pretzel Rod Stewart posted:Hey guys, found this thread searching "cum obsession"
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Nov 3, 2011 19:58
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Since I've got a half hour before I need to start preparations for dinner, I've decided to use that time to relate another tale of Chris. This one has slightly more anime and significantly less creepering on girls. Chris Becomes Splitz Dungeons and Dragons factors into these stories a lot more than anime. As much as Chris liked it, it didn't seem to be contributing that greatly to his madness. What truly brought out Chris's craziness was being given the opportunity to prove his coolness, preferably in the presence of people he either respected or longed to bone. Like many miserable dorks he had trouble differentiating between true prowess and pretend prowess, which led to him making up lengthy lists of skills he could never demonstrate and believing that the boast alone would impress people. In retrospect, introducing a kid like Chris to DnD was a mistake. Still, I wanted a little group of my own to play with and set to work crafting a campaign and luring my geekiest pals into my sordid world of dice and graph paper. Me, Chris, my brother Tom, and our mutual friend Hunter grouped up and decided that Hunter's remote family home would be the perfect place to wile away our Friday nights. We were shortly joined by Hunter's brother Marty. Character creation went reasonably well for every player but Chris. Somehow he could not wrap his delicate brain around the single god damned rule I'd bothered to make about character creation: Humans, Elves, or Dwarves only. That's it. Three races out of the Player's Handbook are all you get. Not hard. But Chris had to have a Drow. What's more, he had to have a Drow who was half-vampire (what) and wielded what was written on his character sheet as a "Massamune." As I had no official stats for this thing, none of this would loving stand. : Chris, what's a Massamune? : It's like. You know a ka tanna? It's like that, except... Ten feet long!  : 'Kah-tah-nah' and no. It does 2 d12s of damage, and it'd reasonably be really expensive. Your level three character cannot afford it. I have no official stats for it. It's overpowered and overpriced. No. : I HAVE THE STATS FOR IT!  *holds up an inkjet printout of a message board post, banner ads intact* Here, see! It has stats! Marty gets his tanto thing, I should get this! : That 'tanto thing' came out of a book. I have the book. This is not a book. Also, no Drow. You can be a regular Elf with a regular sword. : BUT SPLITZ IS A DRRRROWWWW. : All right. But none of this vampire bullshit. He's just a Drow, and he'll have to put up with being treated like one.And I remember this next phrase so, so clearly to this day that I can still hear it in his voice. : Drows are the friend of the family of your world. Gotcha. *speeds to Hunter's kitchen to do whatever the gently caress*I eventually talked him down to arming Splitz with dual rapiers, one of which he broke within fifteen minutes of starting the campaign by trying to pick a lock with it. Sir Prancelot fucked around with this message at 23:41 on Nov 3, 2011 |
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Nov 3, 2011 21:22
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Ensign Expendable posted:Is that an actual thing in D&D, or was he stupid at sticking his sword into places it didn't belong, and you broke it with DM powers to make him less stupid? DakianDelomast posted:The Chris stories make me sad. Please tell me he got better.
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Nov 3, 2011 23:21
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Schwarzwald posted:Denise is in no way "fully capable" of taking care of herself. Being crazy isn't an attitude problem.
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Nov 6, 2011 02:53
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Lowen SoDium posted:Then I found out that CWC and his mother were both arrested for trespassing and assault a day or two ago. Woah, wait, what?
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Nov 6, 2011 22:04
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rangergirl posted:Now she is married with kids and lives with her husband and her asexual master/boyfriend who likes to lock her up in dog kennels and whip her. She swings and is in various BD/SM clubs. I once went to a cookout at her house where the guest list consisted of 2 couples she swings with, her master, a guy that she is "master" of, 2 transexuals and her mother. I'd invite my (crazy, scary) mother to my cookout, and I'm not sure I even want to touch the transsexuals thing.
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Nov 7, 2011 20:36
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I think now is a good time to tell you all a little bit about Chris and sex. Chris, for the most part, was quite enthusiastic about sex as a concept. However, any details about the act or expressions of sexuality in actual people made him visibly (and often vocally) uncomfortable. he would talk at length about how excited he was to get married one day and experience the true bliss of two being joining together in blessed conjugation to produce dozens of beautiful children  but God help you if you mentioned any parts below the waist actually touching, my God, you pervert. I always attributed this to his strict Southern Baptist upbringing and intense social awkwardness, but as I grew older I started to wonder if there wasn't something else going on there.He was saving it for marriage. Contractually. According to Chris, his mother and father got him drunk on his sixteenth birthday and coerced him into signing a contract to not dip his dick anywhere until he got hitched. To this day I am not certain whether or not this is a lie. It's absurd, but his home life wasn't any less so. Overall, Chris never struck me as a very sexual person. I'm not even judging that by teenage guy standards, he just didn't express an interest in sex as anything but a consequence of marriage and a means to produce kids. He didn't even slaver over Lisa, the girl he'd decided he would marry and gently caress one day before he even talked to her. He never talked about girls he found attractive, not even in the vaguest sense. Some people might find this sweet or pure-hearted, but the effect was very, very creepy.
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Nov 10, 2011 18:56
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White Rock posted:As far as i know simply social isolation doesn't cause you to start thinking "i got astrally raped by a ghost".
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Nov 11, 2011 02:26
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EccoRaven posted:Why do people care so much about nature or nurture? We pity Denise because her craziness is nurture, while we shun Brian's because his is nature?
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Nov 11, 2011 03:56
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Konstantin posted:That, or they end up getting married to the first person they are in a serious relationship with, just so they can have sex. She looks like a bridge troll.
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Nov 11, 2011 06:31
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uglynoodles posted:"Sometimes they possess us," she said. I knew it. "Sometimes Myotismon talks through me and sometimes Sephiroth talks through her." Nothing I post about Chris will ever top this.
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Nov 13, 2011 19:23
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Cobalt Chloride posted:Good news, she also dabbled in photoshop for about 8 hours. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't that.
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Nov 14, 2011 02:20
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uglynoodles posted:
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Nov 24, 2011 20:50
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YOUR KIDS MISS YOU.
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Canyons of Static posted:madness Tell us everything.
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Dec 3, 2011 23:33
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Canyons of Static posted:In about an hour when I get home I'll go through all my old IM logs and private messages and try to put a decent post together. 
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Dec 4, 2011 00:29
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e:f,b The Bibeau thread takes a little time to gather steam, but holy gently caress when it does.
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Dec 4, 2011 18:22
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Saeku posted:She said she was confused because she didn't understand how it was like rape at all, and besides her blog was marked 18+ on its description. Think of all those fangirls who think writing "noncon" (rape) porn stories is totally normal, but take it to the next level. 
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Dec 8, 2011 01:26
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so if anybody recognizes her or has a stronger stomach than me and wants to wade through and look for it, be my guest.