Ask me about growing up with a girl who thinks she's married to anime guys

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about growing up with a girl who thinks she's married to anime guys

«‹›4 »

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Oh my god I am/was one of the people who'd get written about in one of these threads. I... there... but...

Is there a smiley for "I would give my left arm to go back in time five to ten years, slap the poo poo out of myself and my parents, and drag my rear end kicking and screaming to a psychiatrist"?

Or how about one for "Holy poo poo, I live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere now and am poor as poo poo. Am I supposed to hitchhike my rear end to a shrink's office

Edit unrelated to my apparent psychotic tomato in the mirror moment: I feel like I should tell the story of Researcher Sam, just to make myself feel better by comparison. Would that be lovely of me?

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 10:08 on Jan 26, 2012

# ¿ Jan 26, 2012 10:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 15, 2024 02:26

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Khazar-khum posted:

if they are very lucky they find someone who genuinely cares for them and wants to help

You forgot "and won't drive them away, either unintentionally, with their behavior, or intentionally, for reasons that make sense to a self-loathing and fearful mind".

No, not speaking from experience at all, why do you ask?

Anyways, I guess now's the time to tell the story of Researcher Sam.

Trying to form this all into a coherent tale is going to be difficult, partially because it's something I really didn't want to remember, and I have a terrible memory as it is. Also, it's a horrible clusterfuck even in my own mind.

Well, about a year ago, I was trying to get together a Dark Heresy group on 4chan, because someone on supTG had slighted me, or insulted my dog, or some other stupid reason. What I did not realize at the time was that by avoiding the reasonably-organized groups, the only people I was going to get were other people who either avoided them, or far more likely, were no longer welcome.

Sam was one of the latter.

I'm going to skip over a lot of bullshit, but basically, I may or may not have ended up in an internet pseudo-relationship with this guy. I make no excuses for my mistakes, except to say that my reasons made sense at the time. Having first introduced himself to me as female, and eventually revealed himself to be male (not in and of itself a big issue; my current boyfriend is an FtM), he began to talk about this group he was in a game with, who were always picking on him.

Supposedly, they all hated him and all his awesome characters. I realized pretty early on that he was a That Guy, so I maybe tried to push him into leaving the game 'if it's that bad', but no, he insisted on staying. And on complaining about it. Constantly.

One day, he mentions off-handedly that he hasn't showered in... several months, I think. Because it was a fetish for him. (Hold on, it gets worse.) He likeed the idea of having a physical layer of grease on him, and for his sexual partner to rub it in.

The fact that I did not bail right there... :psyduck:

Anyways, I tried to hold on. Maybe convince him that perhaps people would be more accepting if he showered, maybe got a bit of exercise? (He mentioned he hadn't been outside in months.) Sam. Went. Ballistic. Oh, I hated him too, and I just wanted to change him like everyone else, and he knew I was just going to back stab him and on and on.

I didn't talk to him for a couple of days after that. When I DID talk to him again, the conversation from his end was like something from someone who didn't do anything wrong, but apologizes anyways because he values the relationship more than being right. Which, I guess, is admirable, in a horribly deluded sort of way? :confused:

I took what I could get, and tried to understand why he thought everyone hated him. And, after some prodding, this is what I got out of him.

He thinks he's worthless, because, by his age, he should have already gotten his Digimon partner, or his robot girlfriend, or something like that, "and don't tell me that only happens in anime, everyone says that".

That was enough.

Later on, I found out he tried to stab his parents to death with a knife, or something? I don't even want to know any more.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2012 02:06

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Nessa posted:

Also, I should probably mention, Kirk just turned 17.

I was about to say, if this kid's like, 12, all kids go through that period. Still might just be "that period" (mine may or may not still be going, depending on who you talk to), but should still make an interesting story. :munch:

# ¿ Jan 30, 2012 03:12

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

DeepFriedKitten posted:

You missed a golden opportunity to spice up that story right there.

Andrew Hussie himself is a notorious troll. A good storyteller, but more than anything else, he seems to get a kick out of twisting the knife in people who take it all too seriously. (See: Everything with Vriska, ever.)

# ¿ Jan 30, 2012 21:58

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Clockroach posted:

"Hey there, my high school boyfriend, have you ever noticed that you only really seem to have these visions, or communications with the Digimon world when you're having a really lovely time in real life?"

"Holy... oh wow, yeah, like when..." He started verbally connecting the dots, sometimes trailing off, and I nodded along. "This is really overwhelming. I... I have some thinking to do, you should probably go home."

These were two breakthroughs because he was a super clingly person as well, sending me home early was kind of a big deal.

The next day I was eager to talk, hopefully he could start healing now from the downward crazy spiral he'd been in, get away from his family and graduate high school.

On the phone he explains to me;

"It's all going to be okay. I communed with my Digimon and he says that I have to reach a stronger emotional maturity before I can open the portal."

So I got like, halfway.

Still, good job for trying. In your shoes, I'd have bailed hard a while back.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2012 11:48

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Vagabundo posted:

I re-read Yu yu Hakusho in its entirety and there were some strong hints that Kurama is gay. Would that have broken her heart, or does that sort of thing not really discourage these people?

Are you kidding? That probably makes her want him more. Untouched by any "filthy whores", and just needs to find the right woman to "fix" him.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2012 10:31

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

DicktheCat posted:

he managed to hit me plumb in the eye when we were playing with some airsoft guns

You'd almost think there's a reason you're supposed to wear goggles. :colbert:

# ¿ Feb 7, 2012 08:47

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

the kawaiiest posted:

As for the whole sexual humor thing, anime in general is unfortunately all about objectifying women (and little girls). There are exceptions of course but overall it's almost always stupid and/or very submissive women falling in love with a complete loser, multiple incredibly hot and horny women falling in love with a complete loser, little girls falling in love with a complete loser, women and girls in skimpy outfits and of course, panty shots. It's almost impossible to find an anime where the women/girls aren't sexualized somehow. Even K-ON, which is fairly innocent by comparison, has its bath scenes and beach episodes. You will find better female characters in children's anime like Ojamajo Doremi than in most of the stuff that's intended for an older audience. It's really ridiculous.

The irony of this statement with your username and avatar is not lost on you, I hope.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2012 10:57

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

projecthalaxy posted:

"LOOK HOW MUCH WE KNOW AND CARE ABOUT BOXING/CARS/MAHJONG/WHATEVER".

Unless you're talking about Eyeshield 21, in which case it's about as adherent to rules and established knowledge as Yu-Gi-Oh.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2012 19:36

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Defiance Industries posted:

I don't think "most visual media" objectifies little girls. For most audiences it's creepy and off-pitting when it happens.

Lots of Japanese media does, though. It's an entirely different (and terrifyingly misogynistic) culture. Americans have their gun and shooting and explosion and blood fetishes, Japan's got their 8-year-olds-in-swimsuits fetishes.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2012 23:15

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

I'm probably a little late for the discussion on muses, but as a writer (or, more accurately, a roleplayer :v:

), I've always found it useful to... 'reconstruct' characters in my head, perhaps create a scenario, and let my imagination go. It's a useful way of overcoming writer's block, and mostly harmless.

I'm now worried if I ever talk about it, I'll be confused with these people.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2012 17:30

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Lyz posted:

A 35 year old woman and a teenaged girl, cybering as two gay anime guys.

I'm not sure whether the fact that you find that incredibly weird, but I barely blink says more about you, me, or the internet as a whole. :psyduck:

# ¿ Feb 22, 2012 07:12

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Farbauti posted:

I more or less became an observer, because drat this was hilarious.

That is the only possible excuse for putting up with any of that. Honestly, it reminds me a teenager who wants someone to draw her (it's almost always a she) super amazing comic about her totally-not self-insert, and just sort of expects everyone else involved to find her ideas as amazing as she does.

I think I was one of those people at one point in my life, too. The problem comes when you don't grow out of that phase.

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 19:08 on Feb 22, 2012

# ¿ Feb 22, 2012 19:00

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Farbauti posted:

as she had spent time and money getting the site built etc.

So, this is no longer just some sad individual trying to garner attention, this is a full-on investment scam.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2012 14:46

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

skipThings posted:

the signalfire of the point of no return.

I think that's what this thread's really about for a lot of us. Comparing our own eccentricities to the ones getting mentioned in the thread, and saying "Well, ok, at least I'm not as bad as that guy", and doing out best to keep it that way.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2012 16:54

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

InEscape posted:

"Sarah did a spell on the pills! She knew they would work!"

Right up until that point, I thought :j:

was just someone else who happened to know these two morons.

Nope.

She was one of them.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2012 04:21

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

cuntvalet posted:

Why can't I be a powerful mage?!

You don't have a giant Pikachu plushie. Obviously. :colbert:

# ¿ Mar 6, 2012 06:06

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

There were two posts on that account before this. Either a zombie's been hijacked, it's a troll, or someone picked a hell of a time to stop lurking.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2012 22:20

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Heresiarch posted:

Modern neopaganism is almost entirely an invention of modern people and has little or no relationship with actual pre-Christian faiths.

This isn't meant as a criticism, it's just a fact.

Aradia, or the Gospel of the Witches was published in 1899. It's Dianetics with an extra half-century to brew. :colbert:

# ¿ Mar 11, 2012 11:36

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

the kawaiiest posted:

By "real pagan" he simply meant "not neopagan". I don't understand why that's so hard for you to understand.

Christianitiy isn't neopagan. :engleft:

# ¿ Mar 12, 2012 07:24

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

hyperhazard posted:

Now I want to wait for someone to mention butts just so I can scream "Hello! rear end virgin here!" I'm sure everyone within earshot will appreciate my snowflakery.

Honestly, that story sounds less like someone being irritating, and more like someone who's irritating, and also fundamentally broken. Sour grapes, multiplied by sheltered lifestyle, plus a need for attention. Or militant asexuality, I suppose, but the latter part kind of throws that out.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2012 08:22

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Lt. Marmalade posted:

: She's opening a portal! Look at her arms! This is a ritual to rip a hole between our world and hell. Before you know it, this place will be swarmed. Let's go to McDonald's.

If I could afford to right now, I would almost certainly make that your new avatar text.

_{She's opening a portal to hell!

Let's go to McDonald's.}

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Mar 13, 2012

# ¿ Mar 13, 2012 23:32

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

uglynoodles posted:

Unless it's about two male dragons loving and making each other pregnant.

There seems to be a loophole in teenagers' "ew ew ew" if it's about guy-guy.

I do not suspect that this woman never got past the mental age of 11.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2012 05:23

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Trilineatus posted:

It's amazing how many of these stories can really be summed up by

:j:

Daddy issues.
:v:

Daddy issues?
:j:

Daddy issues!

# ¿ Mar 17, 2012 06:46

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Lt. Marmalade posted:

Edit: Hey! Thanks so much for the avatar! That's super nice of you!

I was going to, but realized I'm poor.

So... who did it, then?! :tinfoil:

# ¿ Mar 19, 2012 14:08

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

fork bomb posted:

No one thought "hey, maybe we should call the cops on this dude who tried to murder someone?"

Could you not quote the entire wall of text?

# ¿ Mar 24, 2012 07:25

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

the kawaiiest posted:

e: just as I was typing this I got an email from my mom telling me about how amazingly talented I am and asking me why I don't apply for a job at the Disney studios or Pixar now that I live in America.

That is... you aren't just making that up for us, are you?

# ¿ Mar 25, 2012 06:43

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

the kawaiiest posted:

e: haha oh God

Your first mistake was going to Gaia.

Your second mistake was going to Gaia.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2012 12:12

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

the kawaiiest posted:

I don't know what you're talking about. Gaia is full of highly educated and very eloquent young men and women.

(I don't know why I do this to myself)

Gaia is basically /b/ except without the pretend "look how hardcore we are", and the stupid poo poo you stay sticks around.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2012 14:27

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

TinTower posted:

LUEser represent! Funnily, as most of us are in our twenties or thirties, it's by far the most mature board on GameFAQs now. Like, there's no endemic problem of homophobia, transphobia, or racism you get on most forums (although there is still quite a bit of sexism). There are even several parents on there now.

Just wait, in ten years, Gaia's GD will be a haven for intellectual discussion!

:v:

# ¿ Mar 28, 2012 06:35

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Shbobdb posted:

bitcoins

This should be good.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2012 23:22

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

We officially need a Gaia thread. The stories I could tell about the Chatterbox and Barton Town. :allears:

# ¿ Mar 29, 2012 19:49

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

My avatar is just kinda... boring. Doesn't look terrible, at least.

You know, in retrospect, it does not surprise me in the least how much crossover there is between Gaia and the sparkledog fandom.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2012 23:38

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Corridor posted:

I've never seen it. A friend did and said it was sorta okay for a kids' show but nothing amazing.

It's actually decent for a kid's show. I mean, the first season was Lauren Faust, who's responsible for a lot of good Cartoon Network programs from way back when. Not something to obsess over, but liking it is actually fairly understandable, since it was apparently her mission statement to make something everyone could enjoy, without resorting to 'dirty jokes kids won't understand' like PPG, Animanaics, etc. did.

Fake Edit :goonsay:

# ¿ Mar 30, 2012 14:12

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

stablercake posted:

But what a people-watching goldmine that would be

That's the real plan! Open up an outdoor cafe across the street, let people sit and watch what kinds of individuals are interested in your... establishment. And you make a very reasonable food and drink, of course. :eng101:

# ¿ Mar 30, 2012 14:19

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

The Bible posted:

I don't see double uzis or flame breathing. He isn't even standing atop a pile of guns.

He's got a pile of laser swords on his back. That counts, right?

# ¿ Apr 13, 2012 11:04

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

I thought I had it all out.

Then I saw the Volkswagon logo.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2012 00:55

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

So, we make another, unless a mod gives us word otherwise? The thread was reasonably entertaining, and there was certainly enough content to justify its existence.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2012 09:42

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

lucythenomad posted:

Coming up:
�I've traveled across the country and slept in phone boxes BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!�

As someone who was once a teenage runaway for stupid and petty reasons, I'm very much looking forward to this one.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2012 15:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 15, 2024 02:26

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Guesticles posted:

But you didn't spend $1000 to do so, so laugh away when you take a break.

I dunno, it depends on how many expansions he bought.

# ¿ May 2, 2012 05:31

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about growing up with a girl who thinks she's married to anime guys

«‹›4 »