Ask me about growing up with a girl who thinks she's married to anime guys

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about growing up with a girl who thinks she's married to anime guys

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

In order and this is going to be awesome.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2011 04:20

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 10:47

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

I feel both :suspense:

and highly uncomfortable, like watching a Todd Solondz movie.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2011 00:44

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

ornery bean posted:

Jesus loving Christ, OP.

I know I'm just some creepy internet goon, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm a great listener.

I hope these stories end on a good note. And by that I mean you finally losing your poo poo and putting a dent in her face. And then blaming it on being possessed by an anime demon.

I don't want to give away the ending, but from a couple pages back

quote:

That is a resounding yes and yes. She apparently goes to a lot of anime cons and recently a huge batch of pictures from a con photoshoot were uploaded to her gallery of her dressed as some demon dragon thing -- presumably what she imagines Parrier to be, and so I was inspired. Recently she told Kat that she was certain Autobots were taking the form of nearby cars and I think Optimus was in love with her.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2011 15:35

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

You know where Denise would probably get a long really well? TVTropes.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2011 16:00

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

la_fausse_tortue posted:

I was chatting with Uglynoodles the other day about Japan during the Second World War, and we chortled about how it might crush her little heart to learn her preferred country isn't as innocent and pure as she wants it to be.

Oh man, you do NOT want to get weeaboos started with their World War II Japan apologia.

# ¿ Oct 26, 2011 17:27

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

King of Solomon posted:

Really? That's pretty much precisely as lovely as I expected it to be. That's the general level of poo poo you'll get to if you draw with any regularity without ever learning to draw (and you draw anime.)

Honestly, I'm disappointed it's not worse.

I was expecting more Sonichu or Malatora level stuff.

# ¿ Oct 27, 2011 21:47

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Viola the Mad posted:

I learned this fact when I started studying Farsi after years of ordering "chai tea" at Indian restaurants and felt like an idiot. Later when I simply ordered tea, the waiter brought me Lipton.

I had something like the opposite. I had been studying Russian when "chai" started to be a Thing in the Midwest. All these people talking about the best place to get "chai" and I really really got confused.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2011 00:24

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Clockroach posted:

I know chai means tea, but what is it that I drink exactly when I get a "chai tea" at a coffee shop or whatever? Because there are lots of types of tea, and every "chai" I've had has been the same, even at Indian restaurants.

Spiced tea.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2011 01:32

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Question Mark Mound posted:

I'm pretty grateful that I didn't stick around with my own Denise to have enough stories for an Ask/Tell thread, but the high(low)lights were:

Putting on makeup to fake a black eye and claiming she was attacked by random thugs in an alleyway

Breaking her own glasses so she could pretend to be clutzy by dropping stuff 2ft away from the table she "meant" to set them on

Making a small cut in her hand so she could cough a lot and pretend to be coughing up blood

Wrapping her arm in bandages and claiming that she got gangrene from all the times she cut herself

Pretending that the aforementioned gangrene had gone inside of her and infected her internal organs, leaving her only 3 months to live

Calling me about a year after she was supposed to be dead pretending to have amnesia and wondering who this person on her phone contacts was (and me promptly changing my number within the week)

On the plus side, it did teach me a lot of lessons on how to spot The Crazy and avoid them in future.

Well, that sounds like actual Munchausen Syndrome.

e: froglet, did he also go to Libya to fight in the revolution?

# ¿ Nov 1, 2011 14:26

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Raserys posted:

I'm unsure whether or not I really believe this, it's just so goddamn cinematic, but either way it's stunning.

I did sort of ignore all non-OP posts, from what I saw it's average level GBS.

Yeah, hitting the little question mark makes those threads much better.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2011 18:48

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

I thought all kids were taught that so they don't just masturbate in public.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2011 05:04

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

legsarerequired posted:

View this trailer for Pamela's Prayer, a film about the importance of "purity before marriage." There are subcultures where young girls are obligated to attend chastity balls and just don't know of anything else. I've actually seen this film; I got a VHS copy from a friend I met in college who was home-schooled by very religious parents.

One of the most suspenseful scenes is Pamela going on a date with a boy at her high school. The movie plays screechy horror music at the end of the date, while Pamela decides whether or not she should kiss the boy and forsake purity before marriage. The camera just cuts between Pamela staring at this cute boy, and Pamela's father praying desperately for her to go back home.

The movie ends with a wholesome Christian wedding, and my friend pointed out to me that the camera cuts away right before the kiss between the newly married husband and wife. She said that the kiss is not depicted on-screen because the two performers playing husband and wife were not married, and therefore the producers of the film would have a moral problem with telling two unmarried people to kiss.

My friend is actually very well-adjusted and has moved past her upbringing, and pretty much no one ever suspects anything is remotely unusual about her homelife. I wonder what it is that makes some people grow out of the crazy and overcome dysfunctional home lives, while others just never escape it.

Pamela's Prayer?

# ¿ Nov 11, 2011 14:31

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

EccoRaven posted:

Published in 1740.

It is safe to say sexual mores were very different over 240 years ago.

Henry Fielding, a vastly superior writer, immediately parodied both the godawful prose and the terrible morals of Pamela.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2011 21:39

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Runcible Cat posted:

Misha Collins' wife gets an incredible amount of hate too, which really depresses me - she's kind of goofy-looking and insanely smart and she's got herself this steaming hot husband; all I can think is good for her, it's not something you often see that way round. But the fans loathe her with a passion; the poo poo that's posted about her looks would make 4chan say hang on a second. And this is from women.

She may be a little goofy looking but she wrote the book on threesomes...

# ¿ Dec 19, 2011 05:29

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

SiKboy posted:

But surely that would mean that you were really bad at it? You know, I'm starting to question the validity of the whole contest.

Lidocaine lube?

# ¿ Feb 7, 2012 03:36

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

hyperhazard posted:

Wired has probably the best article I've seen summing up the Nice Guy Syndrome. I had a college friend who hit every single one of these points dead on, including seeing women as naturally broken individuals who don�t know what's good for them. (I really wish I could find some of the old chat logs from him...it was like all the worst posts in E/N come to life in one person.) I blame The Game for the rise in this stupid mentality.

Let's see what's in the comments section! :v:

quote:

I've found that the "not actually nice" nice guys get more girls than actual nice guys.

Men, don't listen to this crap. Go to sites like Ladder Theory and read books like "The Game" or "The Art of Seduction."

Women like assholes, and the ones that think this is a bad trait will never, ever, admit they like bad boys (while some honest women will admit it). There is an EXTREME minority of women who like actual nice guys, but they are generally either tom boys, ugly but smart, or old--basically, not lust-or-love inducing.

Nice guys? Treat your guy friends well, but practice ripping the heart out of women until you feel nothing, close to a sociopath. You'll be swimming in ladies. Remember, feminism is a stack of horseshit written by liars and lesbians who can do mental gymnastics. Men, if you want a woman, NEVER listen to a mangina or a woman.

I chose the "tom boy" route because it was easier (but I practice hitting on hot girls on the side and cut them loose when I win because I like my tom boy crutch). I watch my girl closely so I know when any threats come into the relationship and I squash them like a bug.

Go watch the "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" skit "D.E.N.N.I.S. System." It has much more truth to it than this article.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2012 17:46

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

hyperhazard posted:

edit: Never mind, in the time I took typing this up, everyone else said it better than me.

The crazy that is Denise et al. is a whole other story, but people like that come down with Nice Guy Syndrome a lot (which is how we got started on this tangent).

I can't speak from experience, but I'm sure there are plenty of Nice Girls, too.

Yes, and in their own way they're just as creepy.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2012 22:54

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Mind Loving Owl posted:

Would Paul have even written with Arabic numbers?

Also weren't there a bunch of seal opening guys?

Revelations was written by St John the Divine, not Paul.

Also, it was written in Greek so the points still stands.

e: and Arabic numerals didn't take their current form until the middle ages.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2012 18:25

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Hibiscus posted:

I really hope these posts aren't too long and boring. I'm trying to make it interesting, and maybe it is, but I can't tell anymore. Aristasia is old hat for me. I know all the details about it and have been following these people for about ten years, just watching events transpire.

Came expecting maybe something like Terra Malatora crossed with Fedora Lounge, am now fascinated by a pre-internet wacky subculture. These things are always interesting because of how much effort was really required to create and maintain a group like this before the web.

Stultus Maximus fucked around with this message at 20:59 on Jan 2, 2014

# ¿ Jan 2, 2014 20:51

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Hibiscus posted:

Miss Martindale ran the embassy and at one point invited some non-Aristasians to visit and receive discipline. Some TV station in the UK recorded the whole thing and now it's up on Youtube. Check it out here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3hxVnKUrHU

Just finished this. It's a great combination of :stare:

and

# ¿ Jan 2, 2014 22:19

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Nothing like seeing the flawless paradise GLORIOUS NIPPON shoehorned into literally everything.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2014 23:41

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

The more I think about it the more angry I am that an established unique form of weirdness got co-opted by boring anime nerds.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2014 00:52

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Hibiscus posted:

You and me both, man. You and me both.

Seriously. How do you go from this...

to this...

in the space of six-odd years?

And how on earth do you decide that Japan of all places embodies pre-1960 culture?

# ¿ Jan 3, 2014 01:46

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Oh good lord these people http://daughtersofshiningharmony.com

With "new guard" like this, I am not surprised that the old guard would decide to disappear from the internet entirely.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2014 17:02

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Also interesting

quote:

I also have come to believe that their Operation Bridgehead project was a proven failure. In seeking to distance themselves from the sensationalistic British-tabloid view of Aristasia as a quirky, backward British lesbian separatist BDSM club (untrue, but sadly that�s the image that�s out there), they both abandoned much of what made Aristasia special, as well as England itself.

Over years the �new� Aristasia degenerated into a mediocre social network and Second Life RPG, intellectually moribund (even though those who are in the leadership, when prompted, write and speak very intelligently, they failed to distinguish between innocence and infantilization � something �old� Aristasians readily did), overly cutesy and strangely obsessed with deracinated, �Type-3 Bongo� Japanese contemporary culture (yes, the �old� Aristasia had a penchant for Takarazuka, but now the �new� Aristasia was all about Japanese anime.

A few months ago, their website began prominently featuring a sort of disclaimer: "WARNING: there are various sites on the internet concerning sex, "corporal punishment", politics, masculi and other matters that claim to be connected to Aristasia�s history. These sites are NOT part of the Aristasian community. Aristasia Central and the other sites recommended here are the ONLY authentic Aristasian sites and the only sites that represent Aristasia as it is today. Aristasia is about beauty, innocence and amity."

Of course, some of this �disclaimer� is a complete lie, a sort of historical revisionism, considering corporal punishment was (as documented in at least one criminal case involving Aristasia in Ireland) part of �Aristasia�s history,� and so were, to some extent, political commentaries made regularly by Miss Marianne Martindale (who was, inexplicably and abruptly silenced in October of 2005 following her column in The Chap magazine).

The internet makes you stupid.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2014 17:06

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Toph Bei Fong posted:

I met someone in one possible end state of a situation like this once. She was in her mid-50s, I'd guess, and had lived with her father all her life. He took care of everything: house, bills, commuting, cooking, shopping, etc. to the point where she was functionally helpless at even the most basic tasks. It wasn't through any sort of malice or creepiness or anything, just an old fashioned Southern dad taking care of his daughter "until she got married", that I guess happened to go on for about 30 years too long.

But then the father died (he was in his 80s, I think), and all of a sudden, she was forced to deal with everything. Medical bills had wiped out almost everything he'd had in savings, forced him to sell all the property he owned, etc., so she was down to just a small bit that got her into government housing. It's next to impossible for a woman her age to find work with no job experience, no desire to learn anything, and a constant monologue about how badly the world had treated her and how angry she was at her father for not having taken better care of her by leaving her an inheritance or finding her a husband to take care of her. She ate out for every meal every day, because she didn't know how to cook and would not learn, and took a taxi everywhere, because the people on the bus were rude and lower class and also the bus drivers were mean. She ended up running through a long list of family and friends and acquaintances and finally people they'd lived next door to 20 years ago trying to get folks to send her money to live on or take her in. There was some awareness that her lifestyle wasn't sustainable, that the money was running out, but no practical movement towards actually fixing it, nothing that would involve concessions on her part.

It would have been one thing if all this poo poo had happened, she was now trying to make it on her own, but just didn't have the skills yet and was trying to learn. But the constant, repetitive, unceasing complaining, the constant interruptions every few seconds when someone was explaining even the simplest tasks, and the sheer belligerence at being expected to do anything whatsoever when someone could be doing it for her instead...

I haven't seen her in about 3 years. I have no idea what happened or where she ended up.

In a Tennessee Williams play?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2015 20:45

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

AlbieQuirky posted:

The book High Weirdness By Mail, which was a Church of the Sub-Genius thing, is a great little overview of the strangest of the crazy zines and newsletters that abounded in pre-Internet days.

And now, thanks to the internet, nothing's shocking or weird.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2016 04:25

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

VideoTapir posted:

Not to give away too much information, I have a 9 year old student who is really, sometimes violently, insistent that TV characters are her real-life family members, or otherwise connected to her in real life somehow. She'll act as though they are present in the room at wildly inappropriate moments, as well as interrupt people to tell elaborate stories about what she and her imaginary friends did.

I'm pretty concerned that she's going to end up like the people in this thread. What, if anything, can I do to gently guide her away from that fate?

Right now, I (and it turns out other teachers with whom I hadn't talked about this prior) have just been telling her that I don't want to hear about it right now, but if she wants to write about it, I'll gladly read it. I've also been contradicting her when she makes statements about her personal life that I know for sure are patently false.

Talk to the school counselor/psychologist if you have one.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2016 15:55

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 10:47

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Samizdata posted:

Might as well get my sperg on. You DO NOT READ Game of Thrones. You WATCH Game of Thrones. You READ A Song of Ice and Fire. Which is the book series the TV series Game of Thrones is based on.

Also, it is a pile of poo poo because GRRM is so busy self-promoting and sucking the last bit of cash out of new fans since he ignored his old fans (Wild Cards anyone?) and pissed them off, I am pretty drat sure he will die before he gets the books done.

A Game of Thrones is a book, though.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2016 15:06

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Ask me about growing up with a girl who thinks she's married to anime guys