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Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Ensign_Ricky posted:

I...I just...


I don't care how many times it gets posted, this will forever be the best photo in the thread.

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Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Snapchat A Titty posted:

thasts some goony abscess poo poo there

Grab a vacuum cleaner, stat!

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
That's a... butt-gina.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
Fizzgig's husband?

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Looks like the tree is buried upside-down with a muppet coming out of his rear end Oscar The Grouch-style. I'm thinking probably one of the Muppet Treasure Island extras.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

As a former newspaper employee, holy poo poo, that's fantastic. :golfclap:

Chard posted:

Looks like someone has a lot to learn about personal maintenance aesthetics. My pubes spell out my forums password.

Wait, isn't there still a 14-character minimum requirement? Are you Italian?

Splizwarf has a new favorite as of 03:12 on Aug 23, 2014

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
Fleshwallet.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Baron von Eevl posted:

Since when is Philadelphia "the Capitol Region?" It's a 3-hour drive, with 2 states between them. That's just the East Coast.

It's an hour and a half if traffic's okay. Unless you're Google Mapsing door to door City Hall to the White House or something. :rolleyes: It takes longer to get to Harrisburg from Philly.

New York's closer, but the whole trip is basically CYO Wasteland Highway; the Philly -> Wilmington -> Baltimore -> DC "zone" is a reasonably coherent area on a map (as in it's one big fuckin' city really).

Comedy answer: Philly was the first Capitol. :colbert:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

That's gonna cause one hell of a yeast infection.


(ancient roman women used to buy bread dildos. you can never unknow this fact.)

Gonna need a citation on that one, sounds too goofy to be true.

Currently playing Assassin's Creed Brotherhood (ie Rome Adventure Time) so this is extra funny.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
Stem Cell Sippy Cup.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Skeleton King posted:

dude probably spends an hour a day max at the gym and eats more in a week then you eat in two or three

No need for gym time when most of his muscles are from trying to poo poo out reinforced concrete.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
"You'll put your eye out!"

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Palmersaurus posted:


(also enlarge it please)

That's what she said. :downsrim:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
oh dang, prolapsed into the courtyard :sweatdrop:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
Charcuterie jalousie. :wink:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

RandomFerret posted:

Jeez, shut up Uncle Ray!

:golfclap:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Olestra.jpg

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
Holy poo poo.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

PubicMice posted:

Anyway, I need to go buy twelve boxes of these


Me too, got any more info?

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
You might want to have a doctor look at that.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Picnic Princess posted:

Don't dangle em out like that and you have nothing to worry about.

I'm trying but they keep slipping through the weave of this drat lawn chair.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
A fanny pack.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
I didn't notice the small stuff because I thought the joke was the trail of giant dicks streaming out behind him. :colbert:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Minarch posted:

If I were the flash I'd be sure to strap my junk down before running a bazillion miles per hour

no because just like redlining your engine his junk oscillation becomes effectively equal in both directions when he goes fast enough

he is floating his junk

DANGER TO MANIFOLD

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Did you, uh... did you stick your dick in it? :ninja:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Shoozy posted:

This is HORRIFYING. It looks like a dick made of poo poo that's been set on drag queen fire.

Jizzing a load of blood the consistency of toothpaste.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

upsidedown posted:

Bau = build

Dude is an expert road builder, hence the jackhammer logo.

But... why is it up his rear end?

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Kitsch! posted:

http://i.imgur.com/gqlGx7G.jpg :nws:

(not mine, shamelessly taken from the corresponding reddit thread)

I mostly said "Ugh, really?" and then I saw the teardrop. Amazing. :allears:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Thanks, now I know what it's like to laugh through a tablespoon of vomit. Amazing. Someone please get a phriday thread started stat.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

DorkusMalorkus posted:

It's from book #4 where Sam loses his fat virginity to sexy lactating Gilly

Goddammit I hate the new Lord of the Rings books. loving Disney.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Did we ever get this thing explained? Because :wtc:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

TopHatGenius posted:

The gently caress kind of flesh teddy bears do you have?

The gently caress kind. :snoop:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
thus Harald did gobbel the dicke of Sven

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
she wore the most impressive of merkins, a sturdy hirsute bifold more than twelve inches in depth

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

you're a good man, Tony Phillips

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
"It were the worst storm we'd seen in fifty years or more. All a man could do was clutch his beluga bride and pray. In hindsight perhaps that terrible swathe o' thunder an' fire was the incarnate wrath o' Posiedon o'er how we stole an' buggered his beautiful daughters, I dunno.
...
Anyhow, boyo, that's why yer the ugliest son a man's ever had. I'm not sorry but I do feel bad fer ya."

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
The lepers one might be? All grade-A material though.

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Karate Bastard posted:

Yes, that was quite the jarring comment.

This needs more love, well-played. :golfclap:

Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!

Tiny Lowtax posted:

Country full of tiny dicks lmao

:master:

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Splizwarf
Jun 15, 2007
It's like there's a soup can in front of me!
when you gaze into the abyss, James Cameron gazes back into you

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