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webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

meatpimp posted:

I heard it as Mykonos, Greece?

Pretty sure he said Monaco.

The whole episode was pretty average in my opinion, though it picked up in the last 30-40 minutes where they actually did some driving. I think the biggest problem was simply that they didn't have a clear finishing point, it was just "let's drive north until we feel like stopping". Without a finish line there's no sense of urgency. And honestly, spending what felt like 15 minutes on the train was a really dumb idea.

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KozmoNaut
Apr 23, 2008

Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle


webmeister posted:

Pretty sure he said Monaco.

Well gently caress. Headphones cleared up that he did indeed say "Monaco".

That makes a lot more sense.

Miko :rolleyes::hf::downs:

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:

webmeister posted:

Pretty sure he said Monaco.

Makes sense, I thought they were referencing more ferry/boat travel, since they were on rails again this time...

angryhampster
Oct 21, 2005

Anyone know when the next episode is?

vote_no
Nov 22, 2005

The rush is on.
SeriesGuide says 12 January.

You Am I
May 20, 2001

Me @ your poasting

Yeah, that was pretty weak. Skipped the train and dinner party bits. Beyond that the challenges, well, weren't, really.

Still, they need to do Australia in utes. Would love to see their reactions when they turn up to a B&S ball.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



webmeister posted:

Pretty sure he said Monaco.

The whole episode was pretty average in my opinion, though it picked up in the last 30-40 minutes where they actually did some driving. I think the biggest problem was simply that they didn't have a clear finishing point, it was just "let's drive north until we feel like stopping". Without a finish line there's no sense of urgency. And honestly, spending what felt like 15 minutes on the train was a really dumb idea.

They kept climbing and climbing into the mountains and I was thinking, "Okay, so what could their final destination be? Are they going to try to drive back down to the flatland now that their cars are destroyed? Or are they going to kick them off a cliff into Pakistani Kashmir and laugh?"

Neither, turns out. Though I don't know if any option ahead of them would have been particularly funny.

sbaldrick
Jul 19, 2006
Driven by Hate

KozmoNaut posted:

Best bit of the episode, IMHO:

"Why can't we do a Christmas special one year where we go from Miko* to Portofino? "How luxurious can this be?"."

"I was the first to check in to a 5-star hotel, and as you can see I've done it properly: a man is carrying all my bags."

"But then Jeremy arrived" *Dumb horn*

"Oh my word, Jeremy. Look what you got as your car, it's the new Ferrari FF."

"I wonder where Hammond is?"

"Hammond had indeed checked in to a Formule Un in a Renault 4."

* Miko, Barcelona?

Is it wrong I really want to see this episode.

runwiled
Feb 21, 2011

sbaldrick posted:

Is it wrong I really want to see this episode.

It would probably be more hilarious and chaotic, since they'd assume that everything would be a cakewalk and get lulled into a false sense of security.

The problem with this special was indeed too much scripted malarky and not enough emphasis on CARS. You know? That thing the show is about?
I'd be curious to know why this special was so heavily scripted compared to others. Were the production team on more of a leash this time? Were there worries over safety? Are the gang just getting too old? It's annoying that we never really get answers to this, and I imagine most of the idiotic masses loved the poo poo out of this special and thought it was all spontaneous and crazy! (!!!!) Have we got any ratings for this special compared to others?

runwiled fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Jan 3, 2012

Xeno
Sep 16, 2005

MAD TYTE DUBZ, YO.
Can see it now, fastest time around the Monaco GP circuit with normal traffic. Race vs a boat along the coast road. Clarkson spunks his car money in the Casino.

Xenoid
Dec 9, 2006
This special is the first time I find myself on the "this was poo poo" side of the fence. There were a few good moments that were basically summed up in KozmoNaut's post and that was it.

Maybe the regular season itself will be better..

You Am I
May 20, 2001

Me @ your poasting

Data Graham posted:

They kept climbing and climbing into the mountains and I was thinking, "Okay, so what could their final destination be? Are they going to try to drive back down to the flatland now that their cars are destroyed? Or are they going to kick them off a cliff into Pakistani Kashmir and laugh?"

Neither, turns out. Though I don't know if any option ahead of them would have been particularly funny.

I was hoping the flag that Hammond was going to get painted on his Mini was the Pakistani one.

Foehammer007
Dec 7, 2011

by Pragmatica

runwiled posted:

It would probably be more hilarious and chaotic, since they'd assume that everything would be a cakewalk and get lulled into a false sense of security.

The problem with this special was indeed too much scripted malarky and not enough emphasis on CARS. You know? That thing the show is about?
I'd be curious to know why this special was so heavily scripted compared to others. Were the production team on more of a leash this time? Were there worries over safety? Are the gang just getting too old? It's annoying that we never really get answers to this, and I imagine most of the idiotic masses loved the poo poo out of this special and thought it was all spontaneous and crazy! (!!!!) Have we got any ratings for this special compared to others?

This pretty much is exactly it. Unlike any other specials, this special was more focused on promoting Britain in India than anything doing with cars. They slyly put in something about having a budget limit, and got some British cars, but that was it.

The rest of the episode was just full of randomness and very, almost, blind driving around. What was their end goal, the Himalaya's? Other than that, we had to sit through some pretty uninteresting moments (train ride, party, etc) during the show till they eventually did some car stuff, but that ended way too quickly.

I was pretty disappointed that it wasn't more about cars, them driving around in lovely cars on those terrible roads and breaking down all of the time like the Botswana episode, but I do truly believe the production team was held back by the BBC too much. It still had some pretty hilarious moments and definitely didn't make me hate the episode at all, just disappointed with a handful of things that happened during it.

I can only believe that season 18 will be fantastic, back to the more funny car show we all know and love.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
For a completely tongue in cheek Christmas special, I thought it was perfectly good. I enjoyed it more than I enjoyed the Holy Land one, actually. You just have to take it for what it was meant to be.

lord funk
Feb 16, 2004

The hill climb bit was good, and I think they missed out on the best part of Inda: the vehicles. They didn't have to do anything dangerous, just set up more events with all the cars, taxis, trucks, carts.

It was awful because there's no reason to force gags on the crew. Hammond is the worst offender; he didn't do anything in the episode that wasn't a poorly prompted fake reaction.

Phone
Jul 30, 2005

親子丼をほしい。
I liked the part where it felt extremely forced and made the viewer feel awkward and alienated.

MrChips
Jun 10, 2005

FLIGHT SAFETY TIP: Fatties out first

You Am I posted:

I was hoping the flag that Hammond was going to get painted on his Mini was the Pakistani one.

I don't think you understand the mentality of India very well. Doing that would literally get them torn to pieces by an angry mob, depending on where they are.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
I really liked the opening bit where they were talking to the camera outside of Number 10 and the PM came out and said, "Stay away from India!"

Should have turned it off then, really. India is a massive, insane, beautiful, crowded, complex, magnificent country and they somehow managed to make a boring programme out of it.

How hard can it be? poo poo, I didn't even think it was possible.

KozmoNaut
Apr 23, 2008

Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle


Gorilla Salad posted:

I really liked the opening bit where they were talking to the camera outside of Number 10 and the PM came out and said, "Stay away from India!"

Should have turned it off then, really. India is a massive, insane, beautiful, crowded, complex, magnificent country and they somehow managed to make a boring programme out of it.

How hard can it be? poo poo, I didn't even think it was possible.

Top Gear - Ambitious, but rubbish.

InitialDave
Jun 14, 2007

I Want To Believe.

MrChips posted:

I don't think you understand the mentality of India very well. Doing that would literally get them torn to pieces by an angry mob, depending on where they are.
No, I think we very much understand the mentality of India.

_firehawk
Sep 12, 2004

MrChips posted:

I don't think you understand the mentality of India very well. Doing that would literally get them torn to pieces by an angry mob, depending on where they are.

And that would have made for much better entertainment. Kind of like what they did when they drove through the south in the USA.

Flesh Croissant
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
This is television. Your only allowed to expose the bigotry of white people...

You Am I
May 20, 2001

Me @ your poasting

MrChips posted:

I don't think you understand the mentality of India very well. Doing that would literally get them torn to pieces by an angry mob, depending on where they are.


Considering they did the gay love thing in the US and trying to sneak through Syria, I was surprised they didn't raise the stakes here.

cloudchamber
Aug 6, 2010

You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It's feeble. I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine

Foehammer007 posted:


I do truly believe the production team was held back by the BBC too much.


What are you basing this on?

Foehammer007
Dec 7, 2011

by Pragmatica

cloudchamber posted:

What are you basing this on?

My own crazed opinion.

To me, just like the middle east special, they had no reason at all in being there except to be in a politically interested area and instead of tromping around and being more worried about the cars/end goal, they are more worried about doing more of these silly staged challenges and fluff that make these episodes pretty darn boring.

They should have stuck them in three, thousand pound cars and sent them along the whole way across India to a final destination of Tibet or something, with all of the funny bits happening along the way, except they had great cars and rode a train for half of their journey, with a random race happening before then and a stupid party after their train ride.

Don't get me wrong, there were funny moments that did appeal to me that made it bearable, and even watching the episode a few more times it shows that the three presenters are really what makes the show, but still it wasn't enough to make it a memorable one, unlike episodes like the Vietnam special, Botswana or Bolivia and even the first American trip was great.

Everything was planned in a way that it makes me feel they had it written out and looked over by their higher-ups in the BBC, and re planned in a way that would make the show partially appeal to its viewers while not being the usual Top Gear in a country and making a general mess out of things.

Foehammer007 fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Jan 4, 2012

runwiled
Feb 21, 2011

Foehammer007 posted:

My own crazed opinion.

Everything was planned in a way that it makes me feel they had it written out and looked over by their higher-ups in the BBC, and re planned in a way that would make the show partially appeal to its viewers while not being the usual Top Gear in a country and making a general mess out of things.

I can't help but wonder if the fact that Britain has a large south-Asian population affected this as well. Was the BBC hand-wringing about offending a prominent minority? I mean, no one in Britain gives a gently caress about Mexicans, seeing as how they are about 0 in this country.* Sadly we are not privy to the executive meetings at Broadcasting House.




*Much to our detriment. We need decent Mexican food badly. We need decent food badly.

InitialDave
Jun 14, 2007

I Want To Believe.
The Indian guys I work with found it all quite amusing, in the "Stupid white guys don't know poo poo" kind of way. Most people are pretty relaxed about it, the hand-wringling would have come from white middle classes.

Also, as it's appropriate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RPf0SpIU9M

In fact, if you're ever :ohdear: about people offending Indians with the traditional British sense of humour, just try some Goodness Gracious Me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdo79znnHl8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N17UkIrnjkI

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

Well, I'm glad to see my opinion about the special is shared. Enjoyable points for me were the highway drive, and learning about those food delivery guys. If the Rolls and the Jag acted up, it would have been way better. I've always wondered if they actually do just go and pick cars at random, or do they make sure the field has a certain amount of craziness to it. I have no idea how James could be so daft as to think a automatic Z3 would make a good convertible for the mid-east special...

As for why they didn't just get local cars: I'm under the impression that they go to China this season and this is exactly what they do.

echoplex
Mar 5, 2008

Stainless Style
Pretty sure production have form of buying relatively decent examples of the cars and then either 'arranging' whatever fault occours or letting it happen naturally. There's been a few instances of people who've sold nice cars to production to have them represented as nails on screen.

It makes sense to do it that way, though - it's insurance, to a degree.

KuruMonkey
Jul 23, 2004

echoplex posted:

It makes sense to do it that way, though - it's insurance, to a degree.

Indeed; think about the Germany trip they did; who really thinks that the BBC had Hammond buy an M3, drive it as fast as possible on public roads, THEN check the car's road worthiness? (and do that AFTER he'd crashed the jet car?)

KozmoNaut
Apr 23, 2008

Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle


gently caress the special, I just bought my ticket to the greatest show on Earth :)



I'm all giddy with excitement!

Foehammer007
Dec 7, 2011

by Pragmatica

KozmoNaut posted:

gently caress the special, I just bought my ticket to the greatest show on Earth :)



I'm all giddy with excitement!

Take pictures, if you can, otherwise I hate you, lucky bastard. :unsmith:

Jut
May 16, 2005

by Ralp

echoplex posted:

Pretty sure production have form of buying relatively decent examples of the cars and then either 'arranging' whatever fault occours or letting it happen naturally. There's been a few instances of people who've sold nice cars to production to have them represented as nails on screen.

It makes sense to do it that way, though - it's insurance, to a degree.

Sigh as more and more of there 'lies' are revealed, the more I lose interest in their stunts. Unfortunately they seem to play the same tricks over and over to the point where it's bloody obvious they are just following a play book. The first time I noticed the obviously staged thing was the caravan fire several years ago.

4G63
Oct 10, 2007

Active Centre Differential

KozmoNaut posted:

gently caress the special, I just bought my ticket to the greatest show on Earth :)



I'm all giddy with excitement!

I hope you have fun but when I went to their Live show in Sydney it sucked :smith:

KozmoNaut
Apr 23, 2008

Happiness is a warm
Turbo Plasma Rifle


4G63 posted:

I hope you have fun but when I went to their Live show in Sydney it sucked :smith:

How so? Was it boring?

You Am I
May 20, 2001

Me @ your poasting

KozmoNaut posted:

gently caress the special, I just bought my ticket to the greatest show on Earth :)



I'm all giddy with excitement!

I went to the Live show in Australia. It was a mixture of cool stunts and advertising from Shell.

djdanno13
Apr 20, 2004

Killing Nazi Zombies since June 14 1775

Jut posted:

Sigh as more and more of there 'lies' are revealed, the more I lose interest in their stunts. Unfortunately they seem to play the same tricks over and over to the point where it's bloody obvious they are just following a play book. The first time I noticed the obviously staged thing was the caravan fire several years ago.

Uh maybe it's just me, but the obviously staged caravan fire was supposed to be obviously staged. It was their "gently caress you caravans" moment. Just like how Clarkson's homemade motor home fell off a cliff.

Flesh Croissant
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
I thought the fire was real at the time and I think lots of others weren't clued into "top gear is staged" at all. But I'm in the big group that only ever heard about the show after season 9.

Seat Safety Switch
May 27, 2008

MY RELIGION IS THE SMALL BLOCK V8 AND COMMANDMENTS ONE THROUGH TEN ARE NEVER LIFT.

Pillbug
Apparently Andy Wilman responded:



Seems fairly down to earth. Hopefully the season will be good.

Link

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tobu
Aug 20, 2004

Bunny-Bee makes me happy!

Seat Safety Switch posted:

Apparently Andy Wilman responded:



Seems fairly down to earth. Hopefully the season will be good.

Link

Seems like a good start. Was it Andy Wilman on vocals at the garden party?

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