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Donraj
May 7, 2007

by Ralp
Posted this in one of the old threads, but probably my most memorable gaming moment/session was from my first Exalted game.

quote:

It was set during WWII and the premise was that suddenly Exalts were coming back. My character was Exalted Lenin, risen from near death and determined to kick Nazi rear end. After the intro Exaltation session the GM and I reached an impasse. He wanted the various characters to make their way to England to join up under the auspices of the supernaturally aware M16. I pointed out the difficulty of this, but since Lenin was on the run from Stalin he had to go somewhere. So my plan was to have Lenin manifest a hammer via Glorious Solar Saber, disguise himself as Thor and sail ashore with his followers, make his way to Parliament and publically join the fight against Hitler. I reasoned that there was no way the British could see this coming and that it would probably work on the grounds that once you have a magic-wielding demigod appear on your shores the last thing you expect is for him to be someone else in disguise. Also only crazy people would see this coming.

So the GM insisted that if I wanted to do this we'd have to roleplay it out. So we log onto IRC and commence the strangest chapter in the life of the Sonne der Freiheit. Lenin proceeds to arrive in England, with Authority-Granting Stance or whatever it's called active. He quickly gathers a crowd of followers. As he debarks a woman shows up and casts some sort of charm that prevents him or anyone else from remembering or thinking Lenin's name. Oh well, that's odd.

So Lenin and his followers rampage down the streets towards Parliament, drinking massive amounts of alcohol. Lenin arrives and tries to command the guards into letting him pass. They refuse.

Uh-oh.

Then more (apparently also Exalted) guards arrive led by Winston Churchill, who offers Lenin a drink and ushers him somewhere private. He then demands to know who Lenin is, saying that he knows he's not who he says he is, CANNOT be who he says he is. Lenin stays silent.

Churchill proceeds to radiate lightning, conjure up a short-handled hammer and shout, “"I REMEMBER THE BLUSHING CHEEKS OF MAIDENS IN THE FAIR NORD. I REMEMBER THE HALLS IN WHICH WE FEASTED, THE HORRORSOME BEASTS IN THE SEAS, SKIES AND LANDS OF OLD. I REMEMBER THE BATTLES, THE SCARS, THE BLOOD I HAVE SPILT WITH MY MIGHTY HAMMER. AND YOU DARE ADOPT MY NAME?"

gently caress.

So the one thing that could possibly have gone wrong with my plan did. Winston Churchill is Thor reborn.

“gently caress. You.” I say to the GM, and proceed to take the only logical course of action.

Lenin proceeds to dismiss the hammer and summons a scythe and say, “I am, and always shall be, the enemy of all thrones and the ruin of all monarchs. I am the bringer of chaos, the breaker of dynasties, the bringer of change. I am the ender of war and the friend to the masses trode underfoot by tyrants and priest-kings. Do you really not recognize me, dullard? Can you not guess?"

Lightbulb goes on in Churchill's brain. He says he thought Loki was just a legend, a story made up to add to his own.

Some more back and forth goes on between Churchill and Lokinen, followed by Churchhill saying, “"I have sworn an oath once, Loki. And I intend to stand by it. Once, I swore that I would ally with the devil, if he were to war with Hitler. Now, Devil - will you accept that offer?"

So Churchhill bites open his wrist and holds it out. Lokinen slashes his own and does the same. Blood meets blood.

Then the charm is dismissed and Churchill suddenly recognizes who he's dealing with. And so Lenin managed to join the group organized by M16.

Other highlights of this campaign included Lenin blowing up the Eiffel Tower with a Red Sun Hadoken while duking it out with that Nazi guy with the glasses from Raiders of the Lost Ark while disguised as Loki disguising himself as Thor, watching Hitler be killed by a young, lightning-wielding Pope Benedict, realizing that Lenin was the reincarnation of Sun Wukong and riding at high speed through the streets of Berlin tossing off fireballs randomly while shouting, “I'M BACK!” and “SHABBATH SHALOM MOTHERFUCKERS!” while the Jewish martial artist Imi Lichtenfeld car-surfed up top wearing the Shroud of Turin as a cape and flashing his circumsized penis at passing Nazis. Also Megazords.

It was pretty fun.

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