Notable Gaming Experiences: The Gospel According to CobiWann's DM

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girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

President Unerlion posted:

I, uh, caught your horse for you.
That is not my horse.

I think the only way that story could have been better is if an impromptu reference to That's My Horse sprung up.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2012 21:35

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 11:14

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Volmarias posted:

The odds of rolling snake-eyes with D20s is 1/400. It's not a bad "flavor" rule as long as everyone's ok with it.

Consider how many attacks are made in a normal battle, especially by the characters who focus on it. If you do the math, your level 20 fighter with the amazing +5 Vorpal Greatsword is more likely to kill himself with his weapon than a level 1 commoner with an Exotic weapon he's never used.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2012 23:02

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Thuryl posted:

In hindsight, I wish I'd brought up my problems with the campaign at least three or four sessions earlier.

It sounds like this may have been that DM's first time at the wheel. If you get a chance, talk to him later, and tell him what your grievances were, so he can learn.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2012 04:14

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Why is this notable? This is a dangling plot thread that had been hinted at by the GM for fourteen months real-time, stemming from a storyline from several years ago.

That's some fuckin' dedication right there.

*slow clap* Your GM deserves some kind of giant solid gold statue. That's like something I'd expect Rich Burlew or Brian Clevinger to pull while DMing.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2012 11:30

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

FrozenGoldfishGod posted:

This happened for two sessions, and each time we'd ask him what he was going to do to advance Hell's agenda himself, since he'd just shut down someone else's attempt. "Nothing."

You said he was Sloth, right? Honestly, that sounds kind of brilliant, in the "this probably isn't intentional, but if it is, OH MAN" sort of way.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2012 23:38

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Sindai posted:

That's how I assumed it worked too, but apparently hyperspace ramming is canon.

So I guess there's no good reason it isn't done constantly except for "shooting lasers at each other is way cooler."

I refuse to believe that the Star Wars Expanded Universe hasn't given at least one contradictory set of answers about this.

Seriously, that poo poo is worse than fan-fiction*.

_*Usually.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2012 11:20

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Golden Bee posted:

Everyone revealed their skullduggery and Mel was voted player of the game. I converted four non-RPG players to the game and am gonna run something again next week.

Stories like this are why I love Paranoia. It's like one long, drawn-out, slightly demented Spy vs Spy (vs Spy vs Spy vs Spy...).

# ¿ Feb 19, 2012 21:06

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Thesaurasaurus posted:

: "*sigh* Okay, here's a thought: imagine you're looking for this guy so you can score some weed off of him."

They found that fucker within five minutes.

Part of being a good GM is knowing how to motivate your players.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2012 00:03

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

ocrumsprug posted:

The PC that had turned himself into our object of worship was still sputtering by the time the rest of the players and the GM had decided that ending was metal as gently caress, and probably couldn't have been more setting appropriate if it had been planned from the beginning.

These are the kinds of one-shots that happen only a few times in your life. Cherish that memory. The perfect finish, the karmic end to someone who thinks Mr. Welsh is a goal to aspire to, the GM who rolled with it... Hold onto that group for dear life. Don't ever let them go. Except for :smug:

, maybe.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2012 13:27

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Yawgmoth posted:

My old group had decided, first OOC and then IC, that we had to shame/insult every BBEG into attacking us. Only after we had mocked him, his plan, his monologue, his weapons, his armor, and his interior decoration skills, only after making him feel like the dumbest dumbshit to ever poo poo dumb, would we actually attack. We built up quite a reputation and many of our characters actually ended up with honorary infernal rank, since it was never enough to just kill them; we made them feel like incredible morons first and then we killed them, often in really insulting "hold my beer and watch this" level ways.

I just imagined an adventuring party consisting of Redd Foxx (tank), George Carlin (melee DPS), Bob Saget (ranged DPS), Gilbert Gottfried (debuff), and Rodney Dangerfield (healer) as an adventuring party, using different styles of insult fighting to humiliate and ruin monsters without ever lifting a finger.

It's beautiful in ways I cannot express. :911:

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 06:16 on Feb 24, 2012

# ¿ Feb 24, 2012 06:11

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

AlphaDog posted:

Vampire Player: The Masquerading As A Force Of Darkness When You're A Pimply Fat Nerd.

Didn't White Wolf already do that joke? Like, a decade ago?

# ¿ Feb 27, 2012 09:12

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

the_steve posted:

"I think this is their online fap fantasy. Like, they logoff, and pretend they're still their characters, they just need other people for their characters to be better than."

Clearly, the solution was to make a jack-of-all-trades, and show them up with clever use of very basic abilities. But yeah, I really don't blame you for bailing out.

# ¿ Mar 3, 2012 08:09

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

AlphaDog posted:

On the other hand, playing as a sidekick, young apprentice, or little brother can be awesome. If, that is, everyone agrees to it and the less-able character is maybe a level or two behind at most.

I can see why it's usually a disaster.

Not 100% relevant, but I like how City of Heroes handled that sort of thing. When you were partnered with a higher-level hero, you were artificially boosted to one level below theirs, though you didn't get any new abilities, your old ones were just better. With most tabletop games, I imagine that'd just come down to increasing HP, and giving a flat bonus to attacks, defense, skills and such.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2012 05:44

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Golden Bee posted:

THOSE loving SKELETONS.

Reminds me of DM of the Rings.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2012 10:42

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Yawgmoth posted:

so out of 10 words, 8 were misspelled and one wasn't that she thought was.

...pleese don't tell me you ever actaually played with that ST eagain

# ¿ Mar 9, 2012 20:23

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Starmaker posted:

(And yes they would have succeeded in taking out that villain at that point in the story had he not interfered. He was pretty much my last resort.)

Let them think what they want, as long as they're having fun. Just make sure they DO get to kill the villain themselves eventually, and that it's a satisfying finish (for them). If you're worried that much, make the players nearly defeating him affect the villain's actions.

The main problem with "ohp, he lived" is that players end up feeling like they have no effect on the world. If the villain's quite angry with (and more than a bit afraid of) them, then that might work to solve (or at least mitigate) the issue.

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 08:02 on Mar 10, 2012

# ¿ Mar 10, 2012 08:00

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Forer posted:

Miles 4.0, a.k.a. sonic the hedgehog, conjure up some electronics of "oh they only trigger when they're on the top" and you have a rolling semisphere of lightsaber fun, or take that out for an instant drill

Unfortunately, if you wanna get :spergin:

about it, you have to be a part of the living Force to use a lightsaber (which is why Greivous still had a heart, IIRC). That, and any sensible GM would immediately point out that the power draw on that thing would be absolutely mindboggling.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2012 21:48

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

A Frosty Beverage posted:

And so it was that I had this fat familiar our kobold wouldn't go near because it was as big as he was.

Congratulations! Your Murkrow evolved into Honchkrow!

# ¿ Mar 13, 2012 07:21

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Karandras posted:

derail but that's not really true, you can be a droid and use a lightsaber fine, you just can't predict blaster shots because you can't use the force (but neither could Grievous). He kept his heart and such because they wanted to keep his brain and personality.

Also the power draw wouldn't be that ridiculous since you can power a lightsaber with a few inches of hilt so that wouldn't be a big deal to include the design.

Oh. I'm behind on my :spergin:

. Well, it's personal canon for me, now, that Greivous kept his internals so he could still be a part of the living Force, and that Lightsabers require a connection to the Force, for power, for proper use, which is why you don't just have everyone running around with them.
:goonsay:

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 11:45 on Mar 13, 2012

# ¿ Mar 13, 2012 11:27

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Splicer posted:

How does this even make sense as a joke, offensive or otherwise? Who associates Dwarves with amazing raping skills? Yes I know I'm focusing on the wrong thing here but I don't care.

I think there's missing context.

Context that the thread demands to hear!

# ¿ Mar 15, 2012 17:20

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Boiled Water posted:

How is it ruined if you can figure it out? That's like saying you ruined this trap by avoiding it.

I think it might be like ruining a dungeon by turning it into your fortress.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2012 01:03

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

AlphaDog posted:

We ended the game after that though, because everyone lost interest with the unintentional gimmick.

What you can do next time is make them an elite strike force in their own army. Give them missions and encounters that they have to handle, and how well they do can have a fairly major effect on how well their army does.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2012 06:16

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

AlphaDog posted:

We've done "part of an army" too, with amost that exact setup. It was OK but not especially memorable. From memory, they infiltrated behind the lines like commandos and had fun loving up supply lines to weaken the opposing army, and then held a pass until reenforcements arrived, and then led the counterattack that won the war. Fun, but no really outstanding moments. The "hold the pass" was the best bit, because they and their men knew they only had to last a couple of days until the main army got there, and they also knew exactly how bad the enemy were hurting for supplies, so it was tense and tactical, but they didn't have to win, they just had to not lose for a while.

The PCs aren't the only ones with high level characters. It pays to remember that sometimes. Have a counter-force of high-level NPCs, who know the players' tactics, and are there specifically to make their lives miserable/kill them.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2012 06:29

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

areyoucontagious posted:

All in all, I still had a pretty good time, and I'm hoping the rest of the group did too. I'm thinking I might just have to tone down my murderous instincts, because I can only stand behind the "I took the 'Cruel' disadvantage!" argument so long.

You want it to work? Be the one who does what has to be done. When one of them can't kill the shambling remains of their daughter, and are about to be eaten, pump it fulla lead. Be the antihero, people love an antihero. Just don't be a jackass.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2012 17:16

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Bitchtits McGee posted:

From the way he's run things so far, I'd be surprised if the GM didn't know about it already. In fact, I'm a bit worried that he does...

Oh poo poo. Coruscant's about to go Mammon Machine on you.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2012 07:51

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

"The system sucks, but he makes it sing."

It's always nice getting a GMing compliment.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2012 00:03

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

AlphaDog posted:

I game with mentally ill people, and quite often it's gaming that's the thing that keeps them motivated to not live in filth - they're embarrased to have people over unless they clean regularly.

That's... actually kind of heartwarming in a way. :unsmith:

# ¿ Mar 20, 2012 09:58

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

19. Goggles of Minute Seeing. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
20. The ability to speak the language of your choice, but not understand it.
21. The ability to conjure food at will. Creating the food costs exactly as many calories as you'll get from consuming it.
22. A bowl of porridge.
23. Potion of Mild Heartburn.

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 11:41 on Mar 23, 2012

# ¿ Mar 23, 2012 11:38

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

A Frosty Beverage posted:

Heck, I'd even try playing a game.

I was supposed to be playing in a Saga game as a Stormtrooper who slowly became disenfranchised with with Imperial doctrine, but that fell through because my friend/GM is notoriously unreliable about ~~that sort of thing~~ pretty much everything on the internet.

What I'm trying to say here is that I would be up for it, too, but I'm not holding my breath on finding a decent, reliable GM.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2012 08:58

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

berenzen posted:

The fact that he blocked you from even mentioning it concerns me even more, he might have plans.

If he didn't before, he certainly does now.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2012 07:46

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Speaking of 4e, I'm peeking my head into DMing Essentials for the first time, with a party of goons, and although there will be more good stories soon, I feel like the composition of these characters is memorable in its own right.

Skizz Firetrap, the Kobold Draconic Sorcerer who is a bit too into dragons. He's already met one, and set what I think is going to be a trend, by coming off as a creepy fanboy.
Rib Rainyday, the Revenant Necromancer, torn between his patron deity's hatred of the undead, and his own personal desire to see the end of the 'lifeist' government policies. Has already on one occasion attempted to chide several mindless undead for playing to the stereotype.
Marcus Corestone, the ~~Tiefling Warlord~~ Shardmind Shaman. The player didn't put much thought into the combination at first, but we've decided that the shards he's composed from fell in an area strong in primal magic, and so instead of pure psionic power, his energy is more bestial in nature.
Sorien Bristlebottom, the Elf Rogue, great-grandchild of the Bristlebottom from Bobbin Threadbare's Tomb of Horrors run. Started off as a bit of an rear end in a top hat, but after the party very nearly fed him to the fore-mentioned dragon (and a bit of prodding OOC), has decided it's in his best interest to be nice... to these guys, at least.
Woddax Helviep, the Drow Knight from the mean streets of Drizztroit.

:allears:

We play again tomorrow, and I can't wait to see what they do next.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2012 10:43

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Clanpot Shake posted:

In my Pathfinder game we killed a few skeleton champions and were rewarded with a bag of holding. So I asked the obvious question: "What do skeletons keep in their bag of holding?"

Bones. Lots and lots of bones. We turned the bag over and filled the room up to our ankles with bones pouring out of the bag. Spare bones. You know, in case the skeletons lose an arm or something.

That is both incredibly hilarious and surprisingly practical.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2012 19:32

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Doc Hawkins posted:

Ughhh, I've tried to explain this is possible so many times to so many unbelievers. Sometimes they get outright hostile at the suggestion. Thank you and congratulations for having an awesome direct experience of it.

I think the problem is that it's really hard to do well. A lot of goons hear "creator doesn't even know what the twist is going to be" and they immediately think Dominic Deegan. Though, in most cases, the only difference between it, and regular GMing is that you're being more up-front about not knowing what's going to happen next.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2012 22:46

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

berenzen posted:

So that's the story of the 5 million pound living meteor. It's not much, but I can say that I don't think I'll ever be able to pull off anything similar for a fairly long time.

Did you shout anything on the way down?

# ¿ Apr 19, 2012 07:48

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Manic_Misanthrope posted:

It was probably the best thing I've ever done in DnD

Exquisite. So, if the Treeman knew what the phrase meant... they're part of an actual Bloodbowl team. Derail the campaign, become Blood Bowl players.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2012 03:23

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

I really love this thread, but if I had to choose one reason, it's DCB, and his Star Wars stories. Man, I would do horrible things to get into a game like that.

# ¿ May 2, 2012 08:14

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Captain Rufus posted:

TLDR: I avoided playing Battletech with a person who claims to have Aspergers and who is also a furry with a disgustingly huge breast fetish who I saw pick his nose during a dice game because I called one of the robots "butt".

But... Dervish is not butt! It's more like lower back, or the cleft of the buttocks.

# ¿ May 7, 2012 12:46

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

I don't think regularly doing something that could get you arrested as an accomplice to murder can count as pacifism.

# ¿ May 15, 2012 18:19

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

BlurryMystr posted:

I'm still not sure if this ruined or enhanced the game for me.

Betrayal at the House on the Hill is like that. I don't know if it's good or not, but I wouldn't have it any other way. :allears:

# ¿ May 18, 2012 09:16

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 11:14

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

You just can't win with some people. v :shepface:

v

For what it's worth, you handled it well for a long time, and there are weirdos like that in every fandom. It just depends on what they latch onto first.

# ¿ May 25, 2012 22:51

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