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Yeah, normally I hate magic items with strange clauses, but both of those seemed really innocuous, and the dude sounded really, really out of it. When he's working on transcribing spells because if he lets go of the book it disappears, and then just puts the book down and walks away, that's some short-term memory loss poo poo or something. If the dude was a first-time roleplayer, then maybe it's kind of lovely, because he's not really used to thinking in that way yet, but if he had any experience with thinking in character, it's all on him.
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Nov 3, 2012 06:05
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 21:23 |
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I dunno, maybe it's a feature of not really playing with any terrible GMs lately, but I'm just not seeing it. He gave the player the ok to transcribe whatever spells he wanted, he only put 1st and 2nd level spells in there, and he double-checked with the dude to make sure that he was ok with putting the book down and walking away. Sure, he didn't outright tell the guy "Hey, don't forget, you can't do that", but letting players screw themselves is the most important skill a GM needs. If the guy had just waited a little longer, and scribed the spells he wanted, there wouldn't have been any issue at all. I mean, you're kind of ascribing a lot to their motives, dude. From what we've seen, the GM seemed pretty cool. He immediately gave the player another, neat item when he lost his first. And who the gently caress is going to go through that much trouble for a spellbook with 1st and 2nd level spells? The guy already was just planning to transcribe what he needed, it seems to me purely a case of the dude just forgetting something important, and shooting himself in the foot.
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Nov 3, 2012 06:38
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When I want to give my players something, I don't just give it to them. That's boring. Saying "You find the office, and the guy gives you the papers" is unfun. You throw kinks into things, for the players to overcome. "He doesn't want to give you the papers, he'll get arrested." Wizards are assholes who do dickish stuff, and it's up to the players to figure out how to outsmart them, that's a pretty common game type. The player had figured out how to outsmart the wizard. He was going to write down the spells he wanted, so when the book disappeared, it wouldn't matter much. The GM was ok with this. Then the guy flubbed for god-knows-why, and the GM had to scramble to give him something else to have fun with. If the GM was an rear end in a top hat, he would have said "As you step out of the wizard's office, and put the book in your pocket, it disappears. The door locks behind you. Hah!" If you're so worried that the GM is out to gently caress you, you throw a bitch-fit every time he lets you shoot yourself in the foot, I'm pretty loving glad I've never had to play with you. Or play with a GM that warrants that kind of paranoia. Man, I need to bake a cake or something for my group, I don't appreciate them enough...
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Nov 3, 2012 07:35
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Man, I kind of almost want to play a game with a dickwad GM who's anal about weights and equipment, just so I could hire a ranger caddy. Little gnome pulling a golf bag filled with arrows, giving advice. "See how his skin is that shade of red, sir? I recommend Ice Arrows for this instance." "Thank you, caddy! That sounds like an excellent choice." "Very good, sir." Wait, gently caress, what am I saying? I don't need a bad GM to do that, that's crazy. I can just do it anyway.
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Nov 5, 2012 01:40
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You know what, no, gently caress it. That's not going to become a character. I'm going to start working on statting that up in 13th age, for an antagonist. don't want to give too much away, since I know some of my players read this thread, but they might want to keep an eye open in the next session for any guys who have goblins following them around. 
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Nov 5, 2012 01:58
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Oh man, Google Image Search has returned unto me a veritable bounty of goblins. I'm definitely going to token a billion of these, and plan a goblin-centric kerfluffle for our next game.
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Nov 5, 2012 02:30
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Yeah, no, that sounds like Dave quickly realizing just what he's gotten into, and beating a quick retreat. "Hey guys, I'm a cool gunslinger who's here to kick rear end and kill monsters." "Awesome, we're going to pick some corn." "Is... is that a euphamism for killing monsters?" "Nope!" "Well... can we kill monsters after we pick the corn?" "Not really, the other clans in town keep the monster killing to themselves, we mostly just pick corn." "Alright then, nice to meet you, have fun picking that corn."
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Nov 9, 2012 14:51
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See, if that was my group, one of my players would probably have said something more like "How slow do I have to go to not make it to the other side, and instead fall into the river and T-bone the boat?" And the boat player would have recoiled, and I would have given him a had skill check to pass, and one lucky roll later (they always get those when they need them) there would have been a murder-suicide.
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Nov 17, 2012 06:33
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They worked so goddamned hard at winning over that caddy, every single drat one of them, that I just couldn't say no. I didn't outright give him to the ranger, because that would be pretty overpowered, but they have, indeed, swayed the goblin caddy to their cause.
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Nov 18, 2012 11:52
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Well no, he's half-right. Give them a wide variety of situations, that require a precise composition of skills to successfully and peacefully resolve a number of different challenges. And let the goony motherfuckers blast their way through every tense situation, carelessly popping a large number of caps into an extensive variety of asses. Because a dude who trudges from one war to the next, endlessly mowing down motherfuckers might be content, but a guy who walks into the peace delegation and shoots the enemy leader in the face, before fighting his way to the spaceport and nuking the enemy's capital city is a certified loving badass.
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Nov 26, 2012 00:47
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I'm guessing he stuck them somewhere in his... Shadowrealms. Exactly where, I haven't the foggiest, but considering how young and foolish Jamie reminds us he was, I'm going to guess he stuck them in the Utterdark.
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Nov 29, 2012 00:31
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JamieTheD posted:So John, and his buddy Lee, got together and decided to create new characters together. I want to be like Buddy Lee. 
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Nov 29, 2012 19:51
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They loving ran? Holy poo poo, your party was terrible. I would have stepped up at that point, and said "How dare you strike an unarmed opponent! Maybe in death you shall regain your honor!"
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Nov 30, 2012 05:10
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But wait, if they couldn't attack the guy without losing honor, and they lost honor for running, then what could they have done? They were kind of damned if they did, damned if they didn't?
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Nov 30, 2012 06:40
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We learned long ago that accents are a terrible, terrible thing. I'll still attempt one every now and then, but when I start to hear the subtle sounds of teeth grinding, I drop it and go "Ok, screw it, here's what he's saying:" You don't have to affect every mannerism of a person to get into the role, and some things are just more off-putting than others.
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Dec 4, 2012 01:32
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JAssassin posted:The lost city of Arkalon would become the world's first free Republic. What a terrible fate, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
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Dec 19, 2012 05:11
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The best bonus would be to give them tons of frog people to fight, and a pack full of pigs-in-a-blanket. "Oh poo poo, he's got more wit! Everybody run!"
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Jan 5, 2013 17:51
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Really Pants posted:So you just sort of decided that their turns ended and the trap went off again? Turns and time have always had a tumultuous relationship in D&D. If they were actually having in-character talks, not just OOC bull-sessions, and they ignored the trap repeatedly going off in their face, it's their own drat fault. Believe me, if my group heard me say "Looks like the goblins have reloaded and are readying another volley!" they'd get the hell out of the way.
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Jan 13, 2013 18:32
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They sound like my team. Every encounter, they steal everything that isn't nailed down. So, I threw an encounter at them with an assassin trained to respond to Orcish commands, and 4 lazylords telling him to run around and ruin everyone's poo poo. No nifty items, traps, or corporations to forcibly acquire. As soon as they figured out that he was following commands from the orcs, they cursed the fact that the orc player didn't show up for that game. "Ok, we've gotta fight this guy again, on a day when Eric is here, so we can steal him and use him ourselves."
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Jan 15, 2013 07:26
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So our group recently gained a new player. Things started off kind of rocky, for a number of reasons. For starters, the group hates wizards, to the point where the entire running theme of the game is "Wizards are Dicks." For two, they're all pretty down with elf-racism, and at various points in their adventures have killed, humiliated, tortured, and basically hosed over every elf they've met. Third, they're all more or less experienced roleplayers, they all read this thread, and are wary of certain... let's call them stereotypical players within the role playing community. So the new guy rolls a sorcerer, who is a tiefling raised by elves, explicitly states that his character is chaotic neutral, and names him "Chaot'k". There was a lot of unvoiced skepticism the first couple games he was in, and for a while it didn't seem like he was going to fit in with the group all that well. Until this last game, where he totally redeemed himself. The party has holed up an evil, enormous wizard and his robotic minions in a burning building, and are wiping the floor with them, when the wizard casts a last-ditch desperation spell. He turns himself into a time bomb, and sets the timer for "gently caress all ya'll". So the party runs for the door, and Chaot'k runs for the wizard. Chaot'k grabs the wizard. Chaot'k casts the spell that lets him teleport. Thanks to a good roll and a little leniency from me, Chaot'k teleports the wizard 200 feet straight in the air, steals his giant wizard hat, and uses it as a parachute to escape the blast as the wizard detonates above his town and kills everyone. (except the party) I think he's going to fit in just fine.
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Jan 21, 2013 03:33
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Yawgmoth posted:And if they fail the roll, you have something else interesting happen because when you give a roll (or any event where there is possible success and failure), you need to have something interesting happen either way. While I agree with almost everything you say, I have to raise a slight objection to this. In most cases, this is 100% true, but you can't just make it a guaranteed rule that something will happen every time a player throws a dice. Otherwise, you teach your players that they can do any inane thing and be rewarded for it. Making anything a hard-and-fast rule is just asking for a terrible player to exploit it, you have to use some discretion here. If one of your players, apropos of nothing, asks to make a roll for something, there's nothing wrong in taking that bad roll and just moving on with what was happening. Every time they shake a tree, you don't have to drop coconuts, sometimes you can just say "Leaves float down" and continue with the game.
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Jan 31, 2013 20:11
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The entire point of a role-playing game is that you're playing a role. I roll up a master detective, or a charming rogue, because I am not those things but want to play as them. The entire point of a skill check is so I can lean on the accepted talents of my character, which are supposed to far outstrip mine. If the GM makes every single puzzle something I can figure out myself without ever having to utilize my character's skills, why am I even playing a master detective? Why don't I just play myself?
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Jan 31, 2013 20:34
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Yawgmoth posted:A. You shouldn't be trying to punish your players. If you do, get better players and/or be a better GM so they don't try inane poo poo in the first place. A: Nobody said anything about punishment, but the way you and your players interact with each other sets the tone for the game. A bad player can still be a good member of a group, if you're upfront about how the game is going to be played, and head off possible roads that will lead to them disrupting the group. I'd much rather try to find a way for all my players to have fun, than start kicking them off for being "bad players" and just keeping the ones that play the way I want them to.
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Jan 31, 2013 21:22
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When I shanghai'd their portal back to thrust them into a new adventure, he got kind of mad at me. Not because of the adventure, he loves things to kill and things to steal. No, he got a little miffed because by screwing with their portal I prevented him from taking his wife a new dress he had woven out of a mysterious cloth they had found. Surprisingly enough, his training as a tailer comes up almost more often than his rogue background.
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Feb 5, 2013 09:34
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cheetah7071 posted:Yeah that sounds like a way more entertaining night than bog-standard D&D. On that note, two sessions is "short" for a single dungeon? Was there more plot than that post indicated, or was the intention really to stretch out such a threadbare story over 3-4 sessions? I've never played that one, but I don't think he was talking about a single dungeon. You don't gain three levels in one dungeon. It was probably an entire adventure pack, which would involve spending a few sessions on the goblins, probably a couple other dungeons to pick up maguffins, before tackling a final dungeon and finally taking down the druid months later. Also, why would you just rule that the goblins succeed? Give him his credit, have the goblins attack and grant them xp, maybe even some magic items or a boon, and then continue on with the rest of the module. Maybe give a nod towards it later on, by having goblin allies assist when the party takes on the druid.
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Feb 8, 2013 01:50
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Doodmons posted:In Greg Stolze's REIGN setting, everyone can do magic, their skill at it being determined by the Sorcery skill. Magic is split up into schools, almost all of which have some spells which cannot be cast by just anyone - you have to perform a ritual to either temporarily or permanently attune yourself to the school. The permanent attunements come with sweet physical transformations, like growing wings or photosynthesising, but loving up the attunement ritual would leave you either dead or attuned, but horribly mutated. Aside from this, the tradeoff for attuning is that while you now have access to that particular school's most powerful spells, you lose the ability to cast spells of any other school. Man, that sounds like a really neat system! I wonder why I've never played it before... Doodmons posted:and as a double bonus since the Stormtongue was a notorious womaniser, the Fire Dancer attunement leaves you sterile. Oh, right, because nerds have to make everything weird. Why would you add that in the fluff? What possible reason would "lol it gives you dick problems!" make a roleplaying game more fun or engaging?
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Feb 14, 2013 19:09
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Yeah, sterile means your spermies don't squirmy. Again, how is that in any way beneficial to the game? What purpose does that serve, other than being a weird, off-putting element to an otherwise fantastic-sounding system? Edit: goatface posted:Flame Dancers literally bleed fire, their insides are incapable of producing offspring. In a game that can easily feature complex dynasties, matters of inheritance and other familial concerns, it can be quite important. Oh, ok, in that case I guess it makes sense. Nevermind, just me being angry for no reason!
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Feb 14, 2013 19:20
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Now just wait for the DM to ask "Ok, did you scan yourself for infection first? No?  "
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Feb 18, 2013 22:28
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the_steve posted:I can't remember what it's called, but it's basically some techno-organic disease, and it's incurable. I would imagine if you turn on your radio, the virus broadcasts a copy of itself and infects you.
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Feb 19, 2013 01:16
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I wish I had a link to the story of the grog who tried to roll up an elf and have him use Profession: Farming for 200 years to build up a mind-boggling amount of gold.
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Feb 23, 2013 09:24
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Some day, I want to do a points of darkness campaign. Build a utopia, a world where everything is perfect and nothing is every wrong or dangerous. Stick the PC's in it long enough to drive them bugfuck crazy. (Probably ten minutes?) Laugh maniacally as they tear the whole loving thing down.
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Feb 24, 2013 03:38
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Do not talk poo poo about the PunchFighter. The PunchFighter will beat the crap out of you. With his bare hands.
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Mar 3, 2013 12:07
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Wow, ok I think this thread could use a little cheering up. Not that I like to toot my own horn, but it seemed like tonight was a pretty great fight, so I thought I'd share it with you. (Commentary is paraphrased, because I don't remember exactly what was said and we don't record our skype calls.) Party's airship goes down near a goblin encampment, so they hoof it over and ask for parts to repair it. The goblins are poor as poo poo and don't have anything, but they point them towards a nearby magic circle which might be able to help, warning that it contains a powerful demon. Tired of the diplomacy, the drunk dwarven ranger runs outside as fast as he can and throws himself at the circle. Cue massive, obese flab-demon erupting from the magic circle, roll initiative. So I had a special gimmick cooked up for this guy, each turn he gets an AoE physical, as well as two attacks versus Fortitude to try and grab a character with his meaty paws. Three turns worth of horrible rolls later, the ranger has loving decimated the demon, and I haven't landed a single hit on the party. Eventually I catch the tank with the Fort attack, and he's surprised as the beast swallows him whole, and a new map pops up in the corner of the screen. A giant stomach filled with skeletons.  "Are you making GBS threads me?" "Hey dude, you should climb out the back way!"While he's trying and failing to climb out the creature's gut, the boss is down to single-digit hp and I manage to nail my next two attacks and swallow the rogue and the ranger. "Wait, those technically count as attacks that connected, right? He's still marked. I get to teleport out and attack him."So tank's out, DD's are in, boss is in a bad way. "If I kill it, what will happen to the guys in his stomach? Arcana check: 20-something" "You get the feeling that the stomach's not going to just vaporize if you kill this guy" "Awesome, let's kill this thing."Party healer takes a potshot, connects, and finally kills the creature off. I describe the gory death, delete it's token, and replace it with a giant stomach inside the circle. "Awesome, ok, let's cut them out." "The stomach spits acid at you, what's your reflex defense?" "Wait... what?"Cue an even more massive battle with the demon's disembodied, floating stomach that begins spitting skeletons and acid all over the battlefield. Finally, after they've been melted half-to-death and hacked the thing into disgusting, dissolving bits, the battle was over.  "We finally done? Great, because the inside of that thing smelled horrible. My character pukes into a bush." "Yeah, why don't you all just roll endurance to see who pukes into the bushes. This whole thing was a bad decision on your parts." "gently caress this, I'm jumping in the river. I don't think my character will ever feel clean again."
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Mar 4, 2013 07:58
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These GMs just apply the principles of Ten-Foot Ladder Theory. Don't you know that negging lowers will defense, with a -5 to saves? Don't hate the PCs, hate the game.
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Mar 5, 2013 05:14
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Best idea: Use an anonymous email address to send him a link to this thread.
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Mar 6, 2013 05:31
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My suggestion still stands. 
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Mar 6, 2013 05:54
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Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be GMs.
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Mar 16, 2013 21:11
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Kurieg posted:The only way you can make a lasting impression on a group like that is to stick around and make sure that the changes your character has made don't get retconned out. Unfortunately that just reinforces other behaviors that may or may not be worse (I.E. PVP) Um, no? That's the cowardly, stupid, enablers method? The issue isn't that these guys have weird characters, it's that they are weird loving people who think it's alright to roleplay sexual relations between a grown man and a teenager. Sticking around just to be an rear end and make sure that the guy's character stays dead isn't going to do anything. Make your point, call them out on their creepy bullshit, and wash those people out of your lives. Whether they grow as a person or not isn't going to change because you stayed behind and made sure his make-believe character stayed dead.
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Mar 19, 2013 02:51
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I attempted one time, one time to do the "Super awesome DMPC" thing, just to see if I could thread that needle and not make it poo poo. He was an idiot, not actually that powerful, didn't overshadow anyone else and one of the players ended up burning him to a crisp while riding a commandeered dragon... It was still utter poo poo, and my players told me (in no uncertain terms) that we would never be trying that experiment again. It just. doesn't. work. On the other hand, I still get wistful reminiscence of the cleric DMPC I gave them one game, who healed the party through the medium of Magical Sports Drinks. (I cast PUT IT ON THE LINE-LEMON LIME! You're healed for 3d8 damage. )
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Mar 22, 2013 01:40
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 21:23 |
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Due to popular demand from my players, here's a short update of some of the highlights of our last few sessions, including a slight recap: After spending his entire life working to become a Sky Marshal of house Lyrandar, the kobold is given a ship of his own to captain. He immediately becomes a jerk, tells off his boss, and leaves house Lyrandar in his new airship to become a freelance adventurer. In response, his previous superior tears part of his ship off, tells him to eat a dick, and flies away. The party lands near a goblin village, making friends and giving the ship a quick patch job. After a harrowing battle against a demon stomach, and getting completely owned in a diplomacy showoff with the goblin leader, the kobold captain is humbled and befriends the goblins. A giant dick is painted on the side of the ship, and the party sets off for Sharn to get the ship repaired. The bureaucracy of Sharn manages to successfully extract almost 500 gold from the Kobold captain before the party can even leave the ship. Once on Sharn, they set out to make back the money with interest, so they can get repairs and update their gear and such. Much carousing is had by all. They sign on with a Battle Catering company, and spend a night getting drunk and fistfighting dwarves as part of the All Drunkards Eve festivities, pummeling one dwarf into a pile on the ground, and forever securing his friendship. The gnome creates and patents the Booze HoseTM and hatches a plan to make The World's Most Giant Adventurer. They attempt a stint of security work, guarding a warehouse against an assault from several ninjas, and their leader Ninja Maen Randy Savage. The kobold finds a turnbuckle in the warehouse, and proceeds to lay a glorious smackdown on the Ninja Maen, dealing the highest amount of damage in a single attack of the entire campaign so far. Defeating all of the ninjas, the party proceeds to loot the warehouse, (Including the turnbuckle, which the gnome slips into his new Pants of Holding) and tell their bosses that the ninjas stole everything. They are fired, and given a tiny severance package. Blacklisted from guard work, the party returns to the battle catering company, and becomes the hor d'oeuvres of a gathering of werewolves. Frantically covering themselves in bits of meat to avoid being mauled to death, the party manages to successfully satiate the appetites of all the werewolves, and are given a very respectable paycheck for their service. The Tiefling gains an adversary in the people that own the banquet hall, since he set over a dozen werewolves on fire and the smell of burning hair is now a permanent part of that building. After paying the repair bill, the inn bill, and buying two casks of infinite dwarven ale, the party is completely broke and they prepare to cast off. The dwarf realizes someone is missing, and we cut to a scene where the captain is being captured by House Lyrandar. The party arrives at the docks just as the enemy airship takes off, and joins in hot pursuit of the fleeing ship and their kidnapped Kobold.
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Mar 25, 2013 01:15
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