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Man-Thing
Apr 29, 2011

Whatever knows fear
BURNS at the touch
Someone in another thread mention the Dragon Mountain module from 2e, which I remember fondly because I played it. It was a group of us, 15 year olds in 1995, eating cheetos and being awesome D&D nerds. I was playing a 11th level Thri-Kreen fighter, and we had to defend a village from about a 500-strong Kobold army.

We know they're coming, and start preparing... when I get an idea. See, in 2nd Edition, if a fighter is several levels higher than his opponent, there's some sort of combat mastery rule where they extra attacks per round based on how over-leveled they are. And then I realized, as a Thri-Kreen, I can naturally get 5 attacks (claw/claw/claw/claw/bite) per round if I stop using my spear. Sure, they only deal 1d3+4 each, but Kobolds only have 5 HP, so any hit would kill them. Then the Wizard, who was ready to start flinging fireballs like the true artillery piece he was, realizes he has Haste memorized.

:witch: :Well I could haste you, and get you an extra attack per round.
:mordin: :I'm not sure about that, I only have five years to live, and Haste takes a year off your life. Is it worth the risk? I could die!
:rolldice: (dm): You would get an extra attack with each of your natural attacks.
:mordin: :....
:mordin: ::krakken:

So the kobolds attack, and I wade into combat, claw/claw/claw/claw/bite-ing for all I'm worth. Because of the Haste, the level disparity, and 5 natural attacks modded by the "3 attacks every 2 rounds" for my level, I am attacking 40 times per round.

At this point, I explain to the DM that I will simply be rolling a d20, and that is how many kobolds I kill each round, as I am now an insectoid blender of death.

Did we get the rules right? Probably not. But on that shining day, for just a few rounds, my Thri-Kreen fighter stood tall.

Covered in kobold splatter.

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