GWS General Chat: Damn I feel like a boss when I have one in each hand.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > GWS General Chat: Damn I feel like a boss when I have one in each hand.

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Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Mr. Wiggles posted:

Oh, cool! Someone "anonomously" mailed me a Chick Tract today! I must have been noticed about town!

Ooooh, which one? Those never fail to bring me a completely unintended laugh.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2012 00:40

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 18:10

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Mr. Wiggles posted:

Someone with photoshop skills should make me an avatar of just that guy, as a matter of fact. That'd be totes cool.

Here ya go:

# ¿ Aug 30, 2012 14:17

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Do it while hiking or something where she'll have absolutely no idea it's coming. Also, secretly recruit someone (her mother, a friend, whatever) to take a picture of the big moment, but only if you're pretty drat sure she'll say yes. The last thing you want is pictures to commemorate an awkward, teary "no".

Marriage is one of those things I would hope you'd only ask if you already knew the answer would be yes, regardless of where/when/how you planned on doing it.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2012 17:33

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Sjurygg posted:

Fifteen minutes later, somewhere in the tall skies over Mongolia, I emerged from the lavatory with the girl in now fresh clothes and the stern look of the weary executioner on my face, something which seemed to amuse the GF. "The next time you use diapers that are too big, you're gonna pay in Anal Dollars", I whispered to her, without knowing if I was joking or not.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2012 18:40

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

pr0k posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeV-DI09Q3w

Gotta love how he has separate entries for "gently caress you" and "gently caress you, rear end in a top hat".

# ¿ Sep 28, 2012 20:24

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

pile of brown posted:

anyone want to guess how much it costs to get attacked by a homeless person's dog? (note: bill is only for rabies shots I treated the actual wounds myself)

I'm gonna guess that it's right around the same cost as washing your phone because the goddamn thing is so light that you don't notice it until it's carrying water.

edit: holy poo poo I was way wrong. Sorry POB.

Yawgmoth fucked around with this message at 21:39 on Oct 4, 2012

# ¿ Oct 4, 2012 16:48

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Vegetable Melange posted:

it is not a metaphor when I say I'm going to bomb her rear end like a drone attacking a Pakistani wedding.

So you'll be in and out before she knows what happened?

# ¿ Oct 5, 2012 19:45

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Casu Marzu posted:

Pretty good night. Fire going in the hearth, 20 pounds of apples on the stove for sauce, and a apple spice cake in the oven.

Aw man, now I have to go out and track down some decent apples for applesauce because that sounds so good. Too bad most of the apples I've seen around here are 65% core, 1% juice.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2012 03:09

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

MisterOblivious posted:

It shouldn't have lacked the tart as you describe unless you lean towards Granny Smith levels of tartness.

Granny Smiths are the only apples, everything else is a weird knockoff brand. :colbert:

# ¿ Oct 8, 2012 04:26

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

the black husserl posted:

Myrhvold Moment 2: (nathan myhrvold faces the kitchen wall, eating handfulls of 72 hr pastrami shortrib while staring blankly at nothing) "....Pastrami."

This is just the best mental image.

# ¿ Oct 13, 2012 18:17

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

therattle posted:

This whole thing of certain flavours and drinks being masculine or effeminate is bullshit. Me, I don't care how it tastes as long as it is served with a cocktail umbrella.

I am now going to order every drink with an umbrella in it, even drinks that don't have anything to stick a toothpick through.

# ¿ Oct 20, 2012 17:25

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

therattle posted:

I'm in a hospital waiting room to see an ENT about quinsy. Look it up.

1. loving ouch. 2. Thank god for public healthcare.

Oh gently caress, I've had that before. Had to go to the ER because it hurt so goddamn bad. They gave me morphine for it.

I can totally understand how someone would get addicted to that poo poo.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2012 22:36

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Happy Hat posted:

That is just exhibiting a level of OCD that transcends anal retentive and comes out on the other side...

So, oral retentive?

# ¿ Nov 4, 2012 17:30

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

I think the clicking noise is the thing trying to make a spark happen. Whether it is making sparks or not is another matter.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2012 02:00

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Happy Hat posted:

the smell was like anal...

With a 300 pound 5' tall woman..

After 16hours of intercontinental flight.

On economy.

While she was eating stinky bishop on crackers!

Doing her doggy style over the toilet, and knocking over a diaper bin filled with adult diapers from a lactose intolerant cheese addicted construction worker.

Hello new facebook status!

# ¿ Nov 11, 2012 20:33

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Loving the new subforum name.

# ¿ Nov 12, 2012 06:36

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

bartolimu posted:

This one's (mostly) for you, dino.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa3eC02delM

Is that captain picard narrating?

# ¿ Nov 14, 2012 17:35

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Wroughtirony posted:

Kegerators only ever result in alcoholism, diabetes and loneliness.

I got all of those without getting the kegerator. I feel slighted!

# ¿ Nov 15, 2012 00:12

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

FishBulb posted:

Orange Cupcakes are the only good thing hostess produced.

Look at this guy, he's never had mini muffins.

I just bought 2 boxes of them in memoriam. Also because they're on sale.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2012 21:11

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

It's the difference between a thermistor and a thermocouple.

Everyone knows a thermocouple is just a thermistor and thermissus stuck together. :haw:

# ¿ Nov 20, 2012 22:02

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

mediaphage posted:

People do not tip nearly as much in Canada, I find.

Mostly because canadians pay their service people something approaching fair to begin with, whereas in the states it's $fuckyou/hour.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2012 00:54

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

NerdyNautilusGirl posted:

I have also caught her eating just a stick of butter unwrapped like a banana straight up.

What's it like being Paula Deen's grandchild?

# ¿ Dec 5, 2012 23:00

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Manuel Calavera posted:

Why is :prettygood: no longer a smilie?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P017y_pbAsY

Because he died. :ocelot:

# ¿ Dec 6, 2012 00:19

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Manuel Calavera posted:

I really would like to know how much they make off an average video, or if it's all coming in from their store now.

All I know about Epic Meal Time is that they have a shitload of stuff at Hot Topic and that Hot Topic is where kids who can't drive yet go to spend their parents' ~~love~~ money while thinking they're being rebellious for buying overpriced T-shirts. So my guess is that they're making money hand over fist from their store.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2012 03:44

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

cyberia posted:

Do Americans hate flavour?

Speaking as a midwesterner, yes. The vast majority of people around here think that herbs and spices are objects used to ward away demons, not food enhancers.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2012 23:28

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Happy Hat posted:

Also I managed to piss off the HR Global Senior VP - but that is a different story. It is apparently wrong to say that people exhibit sycophantic behavior patterns when he quotes them for praising his processes.

It probably didn't help that I had to explain the words to him.

I love you GWS

We love you too, Happy Hat. :allears:

# ¿ Dec 14, 2012 04:55

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Wroughtirony posted:

Charlie Sheen kitty

Clearly it has tiger blood in its veins.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2012 03:57

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

That Girl posted:

It's like a graduation picture, or something.

The sunbeams with that pose make this the perfect image.

# ¿ Dec 16, 2012 16:17

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Happy Hat posted:

My plan for writing is in shambles I haven't even gone to market yet, and I have 3 leads for new jobs.

I know I should be grateful and that not everybody are this lucky and stuff... But I kinda just want to be left alone and not work for a while..

I'll trade you! I have been applying my rear end off all year and when I get a response at all, it's "we have decided to choose someone else for this position" or "we're looking for someone with more experience." And how am I supposed to get experience when everyone wants someone who has years of experience for their entry level job? :iiam:

# ¿ Dec 16, 2012 21:41

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

M42 posted:

Yep, that's true. I haven't been able to have a grapefruit in 4 years cause of that. I miss digging into a nice breakfast grapefruit, dodging missiles of juice...

I just buy a giant jug of grapefruit sections in their own juice. $10 gets me 10-12 grapefruits without all the hassle of digging at them with a serrated spoon.

The only problem is that it's so easy to eat that I usually have about 4 grapefruits for breakfast.

# ¿ Dec 26, 2012 17:26

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

My family showed up, we had turkey, sausage stuffing, fried apples, cranberry jello-in-a-can, orange sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie. It was a good time and no one lost their poo poo at anyone. Now I prepare to drive myself to Minneapolis for a NYE party and then aggressively hunt for a job so I don't have to come home. So if anyone has a lead on a job in Minneapolis, shoot me a line.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2012 04:14

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Charmmi posted:

No shame. Catjama forever.

I just want you to know that I am sending this to everyone I know.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2012 04:52

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Here is Stovetop posted:

So um, why did you agree to the interview

This is what I was wondering. If you didn't want the job, why did you go to the interview? In fact, why did you apply in the first place?

# ¿ Jan 3, 2013 00:05

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

BlueGrot posted:

I wasn't told what the job was before the interview. I'm a teacher and applied for a teaching assistant position.

Ahhhh, that makes much more sense. Man that seems like a really lovely thing to spring on someone.

Steakandchips posted:

You've never been for an interview for a job you would rather not have, but kind of need a little in the interim?

I haven't, but not for lack of trying.

Apparently I need a master's in [This Exact Job Title] and >3 years experience just to get an interview for an entry level job around here.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2013 17:22

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

pile of brown posted:

it looked friendly so

No. Never do this. You know this now, but holy poo poo this is one thing that was drilled into my (and everyone else I know) head from the moment we could comprehend what an animal was: If you don't know it, don't try to touch it.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2013 23:49

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

therattle posted:

I'm really sorry to hear that.

I'd find it hard not to be really aggressive with people who promulgated those home cures. The only thing that would stop me from lashing out (physically or verbally) would be the constant thought, repeated to myself so I don't forget it, that they mean well. Even if they are loving morons.

I think if it were me, after the first incident I would say "I know you're just trying to help, but it's obvious you don't know a goddamn thing about medicine and I am not in any condition to listen to your conspiracy theories." After that, they get no quarter.

# ¿ Jan 10, 2013 18:46

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

dino. posted:

EDIT: Unrelated, but laughing hysterically: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DShEhj_DVsY

Oh this is just amazing. And so very true.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2013 05:58

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

I finally have a job! :woop:

It's in Minneapolis, so that video will be quite helpful.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2013 00:45

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:

I would sooner perform my own vasectomy than cater my own wedding.

Where does catering a vasectomy fall?

# ¿ Jan 27, 2013 22:01

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 18:10

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Lyssavirus posted:

I like cilantro, but man is it an herb ripe for abuse. I only pile it on like some of you when it's the anemic stuff. It's a flavor I enjoy, but easily overwhelms everything else.

This. It's got a nice flavor, but holy crap you have to be really sparse with it or it just tramples all other flavors into nothing.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2013 23:42

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > GWS General Chat: Damn I feel like a boss when I have one in each hand.

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