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smackfu
Jun 7, 2004

Guiness 0 and Corona NA (with a lime) are the ones I would be fooled with. All the IPAs, no matter how good, just are obviously different from real beer.

The Hoplark 0.0 Hop Sour is also weird enough that someone would think it was just an odd sour. 0 calories too.

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more falafel please
Feb 26, 2005

forums poster

Athletic's stout (All Out) is really good.

wodin
Jul 12, 2001

What do you do with a drunken Viking?

Partycat posted:

My NA ranking still tops with Blue Light NA, Guinness 0, and Athletic Golden . Safety Glasses IPA from I think Industrial Arts is okay but I still can’t get by the light body. Heineken 0 is gross , just tastes of bread soaked in water .

I've been stuck with NA stuff for the past year or so. As a caveat, I've noticed that much more so than regular beer NA beers are subject to huge amounts of batch-to-batch variation. Even brands that are usually reliable and tasty will sometimes just have a sixer that's off/wrong in a way that their standard beers never would.

Trying to be mostly positive:

Hairless Dog's stuff has been a 100% hit rate for me (https://hdbrewing.com/) and is the closest you'll find to the correct taste + mouthfeel experience. The Black ale even has all the things I dislike about regular black ales with the weird burnt malt flavors. I go for the Citra lager as my default but the IPA is also delicious. Definitely the thing that I grab when I'm picking up things to bring to a party.

Athletic is solid when they're mocking IPAs, but can have some challenges with the other styles. Their hazy in particular though is the closest I've gotten to that experience. I really disliked the stouts since they had incredibly watery mouthfeel and weak finish, but as evinced by More Falafel Please that may be just a batch-to-batch variation issue. They have so many different options you're almost certain to find something you like.

Guinness NA scratches the itch, which is all you can really ask for.

Alesmith NA IPA is another one that's solid but not spectacular and worth trying if you can get it. I've not had the NA Speedway yet but it's my biggest hope for a true stout experience.

Gruvi is a scam, never give them money.

Mahoning
Feb 3, 2007
Clausthauler is pretty solid too. Except the Clausthauler ISO which is bad. (But it does have what plants crave)

Cabbages and Kings
Aug 25, 2004


Shall we be trotting home again?
Hah, love that I came to post about NA beers and now see the thrust of recent conversation.

My spouse and I have done periodic purges, but post COVID my response to alcohol seems somewhat different in a bad way, and, also, I am in my 40s now and the fact I've been mostly drinking 1-3 beers a day since I was in my early 20s seems more and more dubious all the time.

My mom recently gave up beer because of age-related health concerns and I had sampled some of the "fancy" NA beers my brother bought her; I hadn't tried any in years, since O'Doules was the only nationally available option.

I'm surprised. That is, it doesn't surprise me that there's a spectrum of decent tasting NA beers now. What does surprise me, is, how strong the Pavlovian response is. I don't drink tremendous amounts but I've done it so long I have a tolerance anyway, so it's as much a "taste plus time of day" thing as anything else, and the good NA beers make me feel like I am "having a beer" to the point that I recently caught myself checking the clock to see how quickly I was drinking :rolleye:

My basic takeaway so far is that higher calorie stuff is better and lower calorie stuff tastes a lot less like beer.

Things I've been drinking in order of preference:
1) Zero Gravity Rescue Club IPA
2) Athletic IPA, Haze IPA, Wit
3) Sam Adams NA haze

I haven't tried Guiness yet, probably will at some point.

My feeling is that if this is scratching some itch for me well enough that I am not actively missing beer, I'm better off not drinking? I went to a bar with friends after a synth jam session last week, ordered a Rescue Club, and basically forgot I wasn't drinking beer right up until I had to drive home at which point I thought, "cool, hour long drive in the dark, but at least I'm totally sober despite `drinking` in a bar for an hour!"

wodin
Jul 12, 2001

What do you do with a drunken Viking?

Mahoning posted:

Clausthauler is pretty solid too. Except the Clausthauler ISO which is bad. (But it does have what plants crave)

The Clausthaler holiday was wonderful fruity spiced goodness.

wodin fucked around with this message at 00:58 on Feb 9, 2024

krustster
Mar 26, 2007

But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!!!
Hell yeah borther I gotta try me some more of those hop water drinks. The Lagunitas one is decent, I also tried one from Mast Landing that turned out to be over 6 months old so it just tastes like the citrus flavor that they put in it, and Bissell just released one with citra and mosaic that sounds good 💦

danbanana
Jun 7, 2008

OG Bell's fanboi
Are hop waters considered tapes?

krustster
Mar 26, 2007

But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!!!

danbanana posted:

Are hop waters considered tapes?

If it can be blasted, it qualifies.

Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

For a second I thought I was in the wrong thread. Then I saw user names.

krustster
Mar 26, 2007

But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!!!
UUOOHH we got a NA "beer" update folks. I took a close look at my local store and realized the selection is actually pretty big and I really wanted some real beer so I got fake beer instead.

Orono Brewing Hop Water- "citra infused lemon-lime sparkling water" tastes better than the last time I had one which was ancient, still mostly lemon lime taste with a faint hint of citra. I could have done with a little less lemon and more hops.

Bissell Bubbles- another sparkling hops water with citra, mosaic and no flavors added. I was looking forward to this one on account of their pedigree. It both smells and tastes like plain seltzer water lmao. I legitimately think they may have forgot to put the hops in.

Sierra Nevada Hop Splash Citrus- now this is the good stuff. It got a little bit of grapefruit juice in it and it goes great with the Simcoe that you can actually taste. Drink this one pls.

Also got a couple of NA IPAs from a local place and the one I tried was...ok? Kinda tasted like bread? It was supposedly a New England style IPA but I didn't get that from it at all. Quite odd, maybe they're all like this though?

Mahoning
Feb 3, 2007
We just started selling a new NA beer brand called Best Day Brewing and I tried 3 of them yesterday. One was a West Coast IPA, one was a Hazy, and the third was a Kolsch.

No joke, the Kolsch was maybe the best NA beer I’ve ever had. If I didn’t know it was an NA, I probably would have assumed it was just a run of the mill Kolsch. So if you happen to see it anywhere I highly recommend it.

danbanana
Jun 7, 2008

OG Bell's fanboi
NA TAPES

krustster
Mar 26, 2007

But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!!!

UUUOOOOOOHHHHHH

I also got me some of that Lagunitas Willetized crap, haven't had that one in years and years but it was really good then and wat a steal at $18 for a six pack

funkybottoms
Oct 28, 2010

Funky Bottoms is a land man

krustster posted:


Bissell Bubbles- another sparkling hops water with citra, mosaic and no flavors added. I was looking forward to this one on account of their pedigree. It both smells and tastes like plain seltzer water lmao. I legitimately think they may have forgot to put the hops in.


hop oil concentrate, but, yeah, either not enough or they didn't blend it in very well

atothesquiz
Aug 31, 2004

krustster posted:

UUUOOOOOOHHHHHH

I also got me some of that Lagunitas Willetized crap, haven't had that one in years and years but it was really good then and wat a steal at $18 for a six pack

It's like $13 a 6 pack here, for a 12% top notch BA stout. I bought more than a case worth and should have bought more. It's like Founders BS but better, with barrel character and cheaper per ounce for a BA beer than a regular stout.

Comparing it to local places like Otherhalf and Mortalis, it's laughable that their BA beers are like $28+ for 16oz of sugar liquid and lactose that dont taste nearly as good, clean, or full as Laganitas at $0.18 an ounce versus ~$1.50 an ounce. Go gently caress themselves.

"guys, i can cover up all all of our inconsistancies and terrible actual beer flavors by adding a bunch of almonds and other poo poo and then filter it the poo poo out of it on top of it so it's wont get infected like our beers used to."

atothesquiz fucked around with this message at 04:02 on Feb 19, 2024

obi_ant
Apr 8, 2005

It’s beer week at my city and we’ve been getting some pretty good stuff. Lots more east coast stuff than usual.

smackfu
Jun 7, 2004

atothesquiz posted:

Comparing it to local places like Otherhalf and Mortalis, it's laughable that their BA beers are like $28+ for 16oz of sugar liquid and lactose that dont taste nearly as good, clean, or full as Laganitas at $0.18 an ounce versus ~$1.50 an ounce. Go gently caress themselves.

Worst part is they you have to buy those blind and hope you didn’t waste your money on something that is a one-off. Or buy two bottles and really hope it’s good.

Spuckuk
Aug 11, 2009

Being a bastard works



They've started selling a Vault City peach tea 3.4% sour in supermarkets and it might very well be the tape of the summer

RocketMermaid
Mar 30, 2004

My pronouns are She/Heir.


Mahoning posted:

We just started selling a new NA beer brand called Best Day Brewing and I tried 3 of them yesterday. One was a West Coast IPA, one was a Hazy, and the third was a Kolsch.

No joke, the Kolsch was maybe the best NA beer I’ve ever had. If I didn’t know it was an NA, I probably would have assumed it was just a run of the mill Kolsch. So if you happen to see it anywhere I highly recommend it.

We sell these at our brewery too, since NA beer is pretty much beyond my reach. It's pretty popular!

krustster
Mar 26, 2007

But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!!!

atothesquiz posted:

It's like $13 a 6 pack here, for a 12% top notch BA stout. I bought more than a case worth and should have bought more. It's like Founders BS but better, with barrel character and cheaper per ounce for a BA beer than a regular stout.

Comparing it to local places like Otherhalf and Mortalis, it's laughable that their BA beers are like $28+ for 16oz of sugar liquid and lactose that dont taste nearly as good, clean, or full as Laganitas at $0.18 an ounce versus ~$1.50 an ounce. Go gently caress themselves.

"guys, i can cover up all all of our inconsistancies and terrible actual beer flavors by adding a bunch of almonds and other poo poo and then filter it the poo poo out of it on top of it so it's wont get infected like our beers used to."

There are SO MANY of those beetis beers now. Back when it started to become popular, wasn't it pretty commonplace for the beers to have a bunch of stuff added but not be sweet and disgusting? Like they're straight up adding sugar after fermentation now or something. I can remember a bunch of big adjunct stouts I tried that were "decadent" without being gross. Seems to me like the old BCBS coconut was what really kicked it off? Man that was a good tape and the recent ones have all been at least decent, as in they taste like BCBS with a fruit or whatever added to it, and not like the syrup you put in a flavored coffee.

I tried Birra Misu from To Øl not realizing until too late that that's the brewery known for horrible sweet beers. I thought wow I love tiramisu that'll be a fun dessert drink. Nope, vile. I mentioned one from Equilibrium that was also horrendous. Barreled Souls is pretty highly regarded around here, I still haven't been there yet but alongside their "good" stuff they also have nonsense like sours with gummy bears and Kool aid, I'm pretty sure I saw a sour with ice cream added, all manner of marshmallow stouts, etc. Please stop, my pancreas is taking AOE damage just from looking at them. I'm sticking with normal ingredients like coffee from now on.

Partial exception: Prairie's barrel aged diabetic stouts are actually pretty good in small quantities for the most part.

danbanana
Jun 7, 2008

OG Bell's fanboi
If I was near you, I would do nothing but drink Allagash House.

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN
i'm still disappointed that the only decent and easy to find saison in my area is a $20/4pk saison dupont

Hauki
May 11, 2010


Spanish Manlove posted:

i'm still disappointed that the only decent and easy to find saison in my area is a $20/4pk saison dupont

If it’s any consolation, most of the local saisons I can think of here are also at least $20/4 pack or more now, and outside of a few exceptions I don’t think they’re as good as dupont.

air-
Sep 24, 2007

Who will win the greatest battle of them all?

Spanish Manlove posted:

i'm still disappointed that the only decent and easy to find saison in my area is a $20/4pk saison dupont

Ran across Apex Predator recently and it was about similar price - would gladly pay that for Dupont

parthenocarpy
Dec 18, 2003

Grain Belt bottle smashed and reconstructed inside a mason jar https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MgUJbHC2zc

After a few years break, I'm back to breaking beer bottles! I have six or so different bottles on that channel so far.

Llyr
Mar 24, 2010

Music is the best

I bought this mostly for the label but Dageraad does make good Belgian style beers.

krustster
Mar 26, 2007

But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!!!
Hey these Athletic NA beers are actually really good how come I never tried them before, both the IPAs are excellent (for what they are)

more falafel please
Feb 26, 2005

forums poster

krustster posted:

Hey these Athletic NA beers are actually really good how come I never tried them before, both the IPAs are excellent (for what they are)

Yup! I really like their stout, All Out. I think if you served it to me in a glass so I couldn't see the label, I'd be on my third one before I started to catch on that I was still sober.

ElectricRelaxation
Aug 21, 2007
Does anyone know any good widely available pepper beers? A brewery near my hometown had a habanero peach wheat ale that I loved, but now I'm in Tennessee and typically the only ones I see are Mexican chocolate stouts and it's getting too warm for those. Probably looking still around the habanero heat level; I had some Ghost Face Killah a while back and it took five of us to drink the bottle because no one could stomach it.

internet celebrity
Jun 23, 2006

College Slice
Those tend to be pretty small runs since they're so niche, I'd recommend just dropping your pepper of choice into a glass of a beer of your choice if that's an option.

Sirotan
Oct 17, 2006

Sirotan is a seal.


Based on the photos and check-ins on Untappd, it looks like Ballast Point still makes Habanero Sculpin.

ElectricRelaxation
Aug 21, 2007

Sirotan posted:

Based on the photos and check-ins on Untappd, it looks like Ballast Point still makes Habanero Sculpin.

This was the first one I thought of but they don't distribute to Tennessee, or at least not anywhere around me.

krustster
Mar 26, 2007

But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!!!

ElectricRelaxation posted:

Does anyone know any good widely available pepper beers? A brewery near my hometown had a habanero peach wheat ale that I loved, but now I'm in Tennessee and typically the only ones I see are Mexican chocolate stouts and it's getting too warm for those. Probably looking still around the habanero heat level; I had some Ghost Face Killah a while back and it took five of us to drink the bottle because no one could stomach it.

I don't have an answer but I'd just like to take a moment to say that Stone's Crime and Punishment were actually decent. Crime was the better of the two. I gifted them to my friend who was obsessed with peppers and spicy poo poo and he loved both. I didn't think they were overly hot to the point of being disgusting.

danbanana
Jun 7, 2008

OG Bell's fanboi
Let's Remember Some Tapes

Josh Wow
Feb 28, 2005

We need more beer up here!
What I like to do is to make a pepper tea by soaking some hot peppers in near boiling water then straining out the solids and keeping it in a hot sauce bottle in the fridge. It lasts for a couple weeks and you can add a splash to the bottom of a glass to make any beer spicy.

wodin
Jul 12, 2001

What do you do with a drunken Viking?

The best pepper beer I've ever had was Bottle Logic's amusingly named but SEO-incompatible Anaheim, CA (https://untappd.com/b/bottle-logic-brewing-anaheim-california/602620) it's an Anaheim pepper beer where they've mostly removed the capsaicin so you get all of the pepper flavor without the searing heat. It was absolutely delicious and you didn't regret it the next day.

Beyond that mostly pepper beers down here have been disastrous "how hot can we go" pain attractions. Noble Ale Works in particular did a series of beers around the Crime/Punishment era that were just increasingly stupid preparations of their house IPA with what was effectively bear mace dumped into it.

Comb Your Beard
Sep 28, 2007

Chillin' like a villian.
Maybe make a beer cocktail like a michelada with hot sauce? Beer combined with pepper heat would probably give me guaranteed heartburn, I can't really go there sadly.

Shabadu
Jul 18, 2003

rain dance


Night Shift had one called Viva Habanera that was a rye ale with habanero. It was kinda sweet and malty, lil bit of that rye spice then flowed into a slow building heat. They haven't made it in years due to their slow decline into a restaurant group/lifestyle brand, although when they brought it back for the 10 year anniversary it was a pale imitation of their original recipe.

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krustster
Mar 26, 2007

But I hope you leave enough room for my fist, because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!!!

danbanana posted:

Let's Remember Some Tapes

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🔥🔥💦💦

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