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v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
chris broussard actually might be the worst of all of them.

reminder that ESPN was mad that jason collins took his coming-out announcement to SI, so they didn't report on it for hours. then when they did, it was to have openly gay LZ Grandson and openly homophobic Chris Broussard argue against each other about whether homosexuality was a sin. that was literally their coverage

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Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

https://twitter.com/omarkelly/status/788128111347073026

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013

I was going to write a post complaining about Drew Sharp's cynical, dishonest takes, but then he loving died this morning. Rest in peace, you miserable bastard.

His obituary

His awful final column

quote:

Matthew Stafford and Kirk Cousins epitomize what’s wrong with today’s NFL. They're more acceptable than exceptional. Both offer encouraging moments that look even better when compared to the pedestrian play of others. Neither performs anywhere close to an elite level. Yet both are looking at massive new contracts in the next year because “good enough” qualifies as great in today’s NFL.

And that doesn’t exactly excite the masses.

Stafford is drawing plenty of national praise recently. In his 14 games under the tutelage of offensive coordinator Jim Bob Cooter, he has led the league in touchdown passes (33) and completion percentage. But he remains average when measured against the only metric that matters: winning big games. No playoff wins. Only one road victory against a team that eventually advanced to the playoffs.

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
That man was paid money to write about sportd literally until the day he died and he is citing wins as a QB stat. What a world.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001


I'm no nuts and bolts football guy and just like watching the gladiators fight, but I hate how everyone is so fixated on one of the 24 guys that takes the field.

He must be a terrible quarterback because he doesn't Win Games!! Never mind it's a team sport and no quarterback, no matter how good, can win if the defense is a fart. Even I can see that.

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010
Quarterbacks aren't always the best!

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Spoeank posted:

That man was paid money to write about sportd literally until the day he died and he is citing wins as a QB stat. What a world.

My realtor father-in-law thinks black and white photocopies of pictures of houses are acceptable flyers for million dollar homes in California, but gently caress me, he's been in sales for 30 years. Of course what worked in the 80s is good todat.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
*approaches a woman in a hijab at an open house * I know Nigerians just like you and they keep trying to get me to go to their country but fuuuuuck that place, I don't want AIDS. What do you think of the granite counters?

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
*literally forgets to put the price of the house on a flyer*

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.
*has just this month listed two different houses with the wrong number of bathrooms*

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
What the gently caress are you talking about

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



Shangri-Law School posted:

But he remains average when measured against the only metric that matters: winning big games.

Few things infuriate me more then this line of reasoning with QBs. In the world in which Football maybe the number one team sport, it all has to be distilled into a QB carrying a team to a victory.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Amy Pole Her posted:

What the gently caress are you talking about

How retarded sometimes people who work their whole lives in a field can be completely retarded about it, like my realtor father-in-law. Or me, who has his life posting on SA, and still sucks at it.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

OxySnake posted:

Few things infuriate me more then this line of reasoning with QBs. In the world in which Football maybe the number one team sport, it all has to be distilled into a QB carrying a team to a victory.

Some human beings can't even get past the idea that families require teamwork, not just one person "winning" while everyone supports them. I can't imagine how much abstraction it would take to get them to view teams through a scope that isn't singular.


(Still talking about my father-in-law here. In the movie he's going to be played by an aging John Leguizamo with a beer gut. )

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
Chiche does your father in law have random "quotation marks" on his flyers

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002

Chichevache posted:

How retarded sometimes people who work their whole lives in a field can be completely retarded about it, like my realtor father-in-law. Or me, who has his life posting on SA, and still sucks at it.

They had absolutely zero link then you just went off the deep end.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Spoeank posted:

Chiche does your father in law have random "quotation marks" on his flyers

YES, he also Emphasizes Randomly throughout the Flyer because it DRAWS ATTENTION to your product and YOU WANT attention because it is GOOD!

If you don't try to bring attention to things it sounds like a robot wrote it. Just like that. Isn't this terribly uniform? No one wants to buy this.

Also, all of the signs need to be red now. All of them. It stands out. Red stands out more. But no neon-green.

Amy Pole Her posted:

They had absolutely zero link then you just went off the deep end.

I went off the deep end the day I decided to move back to LA.

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
wow

shut up

Dr_Strangelove
Dec 16, 2003

Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

Chichevache posted:

YES, he also Emphasizes Randomly throughout the Flyer because it DRAWS ATTENTION to your product and YOU WANT attention because it is GOOD!

If you don't try to bring attention to things it sounds like a robot wrote it. Just like that. Isn't this terribly uniform? No one wants to buy this.

Also, all of the signs need to be red now. All of them. It stands out. Red stands out more. But no neon-green.

Scare quotes are haram and shameful.

hifi
Jul 25, 2012

I LIKE the McConaughey Lincoln commercials. (1) There are a lot of different versions. (2) They add a new one to the rotation regularly. (3) They don't SHOUT AT YOU. It's an oasis of quiet in a series of loud, insulting commercials.

—John N., Belleview, Fla.

When I was young, we had a small home, and when I played records on my turntable, I played a lot of Elton John. A lot. Once (maybe 51 times, actually), my father asked me if I like any other music than that crap. Not sure I did. Anyway, that story occurred to me when when I read your email.

(peter king)

pangstrom
Jan 25, 2003

Wedge Regret

hifi posted:

I LIKE the McConaughey Lincoln commercials. (1) There are a lot of different versions. (2) They add a new one to the rotation regularly. (3) They don't SHOUT AT YOU. It's an oasis of quiet in a series of loud, insulting commercials.

—John N., Belleview, Fla.

When I was young, we had a small home, and when I played records on my turntable, I played a lot of Elton John. A lot. Once (maybe 51 times, actually), my father asked me if I like any other music than that crap. Not sure I did. Anyway, that story occurred to me when when I read your email.

(peter king)
Haha. Shame we can't see John N.'s reply.

The only thing I like about the Lincoln commercials is that I feel they accidentally get people closer to the truth about both McConaughey (faux-thoughtful narcissist, though hey good actor) and Lincolns (ungood cars).

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

hifi posted:

I LIKE the McConaughey Lincoln commercials. (1) There are a lot of different versions. (2) They add a new one to the rotation regularly. (3) They don't SHOUT AT YOU. It's an oasis of quiet in a series of loud, insulting commercials.

—John N., Belleview, Fla.

When I was young, we had a small home, and when I played records on my turntable, I played a lot of Elton John. A lot. Once (maybe 51 times, actually), my father asked me if I like any other music than that crap. Not sure I did. Anyway, that story occurred to me when when I read your email.

(peter king)

jesus christ

Have they killed all the editors at SI?

midwat
May 6, 2007

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

jesus christ

Have they killed all the editors at SI?

I don't think they've edited King in years, and they're not about to start now that he has his vertical.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Twitter is pretty lovely and sports fans are extremely gullible, a play in one act by Albert Breer:

https://twitter.com/AlbertBreer/status/798529469589913600

Read the responses and realize the article linked is about how nobody reads articles and just responds to headlines.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Kill shot right there.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Kill shot right there.

Anals of History
Jul 29, 2003

Multi-kill?

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Muh-Muh-Muh-Muh-Muh-Multi-kill

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


https://www.yahoo.com/news/roger-goodell-owes-tom-brady-an-apology-183157757.html

Lol Dan Wetzel

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Nah, that's pulitzer material.

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
Remember when we thought we were done hearing about Deflategate

Remember when we underestimated the pettiness of Brady Stans

MrLogan
Feb 4, 2004

Ask me about Derek Carr's stolen MVP awards, those dastardly refs, and, oh yeah, having the absolute worst fucking gimmick in The Football Funhouse.

This is one of the saltiest things I've ever read.

ChickenMedium
Sep 2, 2001
Forum Veteran And Professor Emeritus of Condiment Studies
Why should Goodell apologize for the one good thing he's ever done in his miserable life?

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
when you think you tough but you aint

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000760536/article/richard-sherman-threatens-to-ruin-reporters-career

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Jim Moore is a worthless hack so I Stand With Sherman

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?
aren't you some kind of journalist

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

v2vian man posted:

aren't you some kind of journalist

As someone who wasted a childhood having to read Jim Moore's garbage takes in the Seattle PI, I admit I might not be an objective party here.

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer
Richard Sherman is a garbage person.

Yes he is better at life than me, why do you ask?

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
This is kind of amazing. http://www.si.com/nfl/2016/12/20/here-come-jaguars-annotated#annotations:11048618

Back in August, SI commissioned a story on the supposed up-and-coming Jaguars, which doubled as a profile of Shad Khan. They never ran the story as the Jags crashed and burned, but decided to put it on the site with annotations just to find out how wrong they ended up being.

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DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


Benne posted:

This is kind of amazing. http://www.si.com/nfl/2016/12/20/here-come-jaguars-annotated#annotations:11048618

Back in August, SI commissioned a story on the supposed up-and-coming Jaguars, which doubled as a profile of Shad Khan. They never ran the story as the Jags crashed and burned, but decided to put it on the site with annotations just to find out how wrong they ended up being.

that's kinda awesome, good on them

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