Writing & reporting in today's NFL: One extra-wide horse shit latte please

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Writing & reporting in today's NFL: One extra-wide horse shit latte please

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FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

The irony of Peter King complaining about an eating competition.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2012 22:15

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 00:03

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

GFYS!

# ¿ Jun 4, 2012 20:08

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/06/06/gay-former-player-encourages-current-gay-players-to-come-out/related/

Mike Florio posted:

As a result, my initial reaction was to conclude that I�d been the victim of a bait-and-switch, via an effort to build advance buzz for something that, standing along, wouldn�t have drawn much attention. So I initially refused to consider the article or watch the companion interview of Wade Davis.

In most cases (not all, but most), my stubbornness subsides fairly quickly. In this case, I�m glad it did.

thanks for this wonderful insight hack lawyer

# ¿ Jun 6, 2012 22:57

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

congrats ham

# ¿ Jun 7, 2012 15:12

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

It's gonna own when Omar Kelly has a Twitter meltdown

# ¿ Jul 16, 2012 18:37

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

It depresses me that Florio gets paid a lot more than I do.

E: For the crappy writing, not the lawyering.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2012 15:42

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Well hello there 1995

# ¿ Oct 22, 2012 23:38

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Chichevache posted:

Speak for yourself you jizz slurping poo poo magnet. I'm making bank and having teh sex0rz with hb10s thanks to being a bad rear end punter. Now make like an ent and leaf, you whore smuggling dog prober.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

You're trying way too hard.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2012 17:15

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ¿ Nov 14, 2012 19:17

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

What if Peter King was black?

# ¿ Nov 19, 2012 20:17

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Cavauro posted:

From this point it would take one team winning out and the other losing out. I'd rather be wrong.

# ¿ Dec 7, 2012 01:54

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Rooster Brooster posted:

Someone needs to tell that guy the Terrifying Tale of the 1996 Denver Broncos.

A week before the '96 AFC Divisional, Woody Paige wrote a column for The Denver Post about the Jaguars that was in the same vein as Shaughnessy's about the Texans above. I C&P'd it from here so there may be some typos. Shaughnessy's column is tame compared to this:

quote:

Jacksonville Jagwads? What league are they in?

When did the NFL start letting USFL teams participate in the playoffs? Did I miss something? Or, are the Jags from that goofy World League or the Continental Basketball Association? After the Broncos dispense with these Jagwads today, do they face the Barcelona Bobcats or the Birmingham Power & Light?

In the postseason the Denver Broncos are supposed to be playing the Cleveland Browns or the Oakland Raiders or the Buffalo Bills. The opposition should have an Al Davis or a Terry Bradshaw or a Bruce Smith to get riled about. There should be a 30-year rivalry and a playoff history and a spitting disgust for the other team. There should be bad blood and revenge and a suck-it-up sensation.

How do you get worked up to play somebody called Jacksonville with a bunch of nobodies?

Who wants to hurl insults and snowballs at Jagwads?

Mark Brunell is the quarterback. I give up.

Jacksonville? Is that a semi-pro team or a theme park? Isn't Jacksonville the only Florida city without a beach?

This is the playoff game Denver has been waiting for?

The Broncos go 13-3, yet are forced by the league to play kissyface with Jagwads. Bring on Pittsburgh - a mean team with meat on the bone.

When the Broncos reach the Super Bowl, skeptics will just say: "Oh, but they beat Jacksonville."

Wasn't Jackson (Miss.) State available?

Oh, I remember Jacksonville now. Expansion team. Been around for a couple of years. I get the Jacksonville Jags confused with the Carolina Panthers, or is it the Carolina Jags and the Florida Panthers? Isn't that the hockey team the Avalanche beat?

I looked it up, and the Jagwads did win six of their last seven regular-season games, against the likes of Baltimore (twice), Cincinnati, Houston, Seattle and Atlanta. That sounds like a Nebraska schedule. And the Jags squeaked into the playoffs on a quirky missed field goal by Atlanta. The Broncos didn't face such cupcake foes, except for Baltimore and Cincinnati and Seattle, and they marched into the playoffs cremating, for example, Chicago and Minnesota.

Who do these upstart Jagwads think they are, anyway, coming to Mile High Stadium, where the Broncos haven't lost this season and only once ever in the playoffs? They must think they belong here, but they will learn.

"I told you back before the season began that Jacksonville was going to be a playoff contender," said Adam Schefter, the self-proclaimed, know-it-all pro football expert employed by The Post.

I don't recall that specific statement. I do know that when Jacksonville beat the Broncos in the final exhibition, I said something like: "The Jags are awful. They should have Anita Bryant at middle linebacker."

In Jacksonville, the Broncos put up 17 points early and retired. John Elway played two series Aug. 23, and the rest of the starters lasted about a quarter. But Jagwads coach Tom Coughlin acted as if his team had just won the Super Bowl. "It was a helluva victory. We played great in the second half to come back and win it."

As if the Broncos were serious.

The conference must be really down this year for Jacksonville to make the playoffs.

Jacksonville reportedly has the No. 1-ranked passing game in the NFL. Wait until the Jagwads try that stuff at Mile High Stadium. And the Jags bring back center Dave Widell, who was a nice player and swell talk-show host in Denver in his day.

This is easy. It will not be a Jag War.

The tanned, rested and ready Broncos will invalidate the Jagwads. Instead of "The Drive" and "The Fumble,"

Denver-Jacksonville will be known as "The Blowout." The Broncos are favored by 14. Not enough.

This is where you get off, Jagwads. No way, no (Natrone) Means.

Broncos 31, Jags 10.

Can we get a legitimate NFL team in here next Sunday.

# ¿ Jan 7, 2013 19:21

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Preach to the choir

# ¿ Feb 28, 2013 19:39

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

e: nevermind

FUCKFACE MORON fucked around with this message at 17:41 on Mar 1, 2013

# ¿ Mar 1, 2013 17:35

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

jackyl posted:

Does anyone else keep an eye out for King when travelling to see if you can do something to him that will get you mentioned in MMQB or is that just me? Kinglandia seems to offer even more of an opportunity for this.

If I ever miraculously find out that King will be on one of my flights and that we will be sitting next to each other, I plan to not wear any deodorant for a couple of days prior so that he can write about smelly Indian passengers.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2013 01:34

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Ozu posted:

PFT could actually make a wise decision and kill their comment sections.

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2013/04/03/seeking-comments-on-whether-we-should-dump-comments/

YouTube should follow suit.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2013 00:38

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Its Miller Time posted:

I think there's a huge ego behind his aww shucks. His refusal to attempt to change his awful mechanics or play a position besides QB indicate to me he got spoiled when he was the king of Florida.

I don't think he's refusing to change his mechanics. He's just downright incapable of doing it for some reason.

# ¿ May 12, 2013 19:03

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Yeah at this point I'm beginning to think Tebow feels entitled and doesn't need anyone's help to change his mechanics.

FUCKFACE MORON fucked around with this message at 20:58 on May 12, 2013

# ¿ May 12, 2013 20:51

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

AAA DOLFAN posted:

Goons making up poo poo to make tebow seem like an rear end in a top hat yup its the offseason alright

speculation brah

# ¿ May 13, 2013 03:23

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

I get all of my NFL news from here (or NFLN if I have it on in the background).

# ¿ Jul 2, 2013 20:58

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

AAA DOLFAN posted:

I've been getting that a lot lately, but for my field it makes sense because, ya know, network and all that :\

I recently interviewed with a law firm over the phone and got turned down because "I didn't sound enthusiastic about the job"...okay?

# ¿ Jul 10, 2013 22:51

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Pete Prisco has been a piece of poo poo for a good decade.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2013 16:51

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

superaielman posted:

Olbermann and Prisco deserve each other.

Are you implying Olbermann agrees with Prisco because :confused:

# ¿ Sep 2, 2013 06:20

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

If Pete Prisco kills himself we'll know why.

# ¿ Sep 5, 2013 20:43

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

There was a season where the Packers finished below .500 but still scored more points than they allowed and for the life of me I can't remember which year it was.

# ¿ Sep 13, 2013 22:53

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Ozu posted:

You probably mean 2008 when they went 6-10 with +39 in points and +7 in turnovers. You can see all point differentials on PFR.

http://www.pro-football-reference.com/teams/gnb/

That would be it, thanks. I tried looking it up on PFR too but failed miserably :shobon:

# ¿ Sep 13, 2013 22:59

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

I hope Rick Reilly gets fired for that.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2013 01:29

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Rick Reilly brings shame to the state of Colorado.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2013 23:19

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

I think he's actually from Boulder, which is the complete opposite of Colorado Springs in every way possible.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2013 23:27

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Mel Mudkiper posted:

Black Klansman

I...what

# ¿ Sep 27, 2013 21:06

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Too bad Rush didn't croak when he had those chest pains awhile back.

# ¿ Oct 19, 2013 02:19

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

E: nevermind

FUCKFACE MORON fucked around with this message at 22:35 on Oct 21, 2013

# ¿ Oct 21, 2013 22:29

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

How long until The Onion deletes that

# ¿ Oct 22, 2013 01:02

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

pangstrom posted:

The premise of the joke is that it's offensive ethnic slurs so barring mass outrage or something they won't.

I'm aware of the premise of the joke, but man the slur they use is almost on par with the n-word.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2013 01:15

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Owned

# ¿ Oct 22, 2013 01:17

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

E: nothing to see here :v:

FUCKFACE MORON fucked around with this message at 03:05 on Oct 22, 2013

# ¿ Oct 22, 2013 03:03

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

At least Coors Light has some semblance of taste. Miller Lite's selling point is that their cans have a pop top and Bud Light's is that their commercials are occasionally funny.

# ¿ Oct 30, 2013 00:57

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Ahahaha he uses some shithead from Bleacher Report as a "source"

# ¿ Dec 17, 2013 21:24

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

~~I knew it'd be terrible so no!~~ Nevermind I see it was a parody piece??

\/\/ I did

FUCKFACE MORON fucked around with this message at 21:30 on Dec 17, 2013

# ¿ Dec 17, 2013 21:27

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 00:03

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Chichevache posted:

It is so much easier to be lovely and jaded than it is to actually look at what was written .

I'm pretty sure this was not intended as serious journalism, but instead as a commentary on the nature of sports journalism itself. Meta-journalism if you will.

I read it and said as much. Sorry for jumping the gun :shrug:

# ¿ Dec 17, 2013 22:14

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Writing & reporting in today's NFL: One extra-wide horse shit latte please

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