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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Chichevache posted:

I'm nominating Darren Sharper.

vs Richie Incognito and Aaron Hernandez.

For once the owner side of things has like no chance.

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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I declare a dance party: http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/11049946/rick-reilly-last-column

:dance:

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I mean, I make at least a dozen jokes worse then that on a daily basis, so whatever man.

But at least it couldn't happen to a more deserving fucker.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Michael Tanier just announced he's leaving the shambling corpse of Sportsonearth. He's said he has a deal worked out for a new site already, but can't reveal it just yet.

Also, Jon Bois's fantastic Breaking Madden series is returning next week, so yeah, go read the Tim Tebow chronicles thread if you haven't yet: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3658979

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Bip Roberts posted:

Do we get next-gen madden breakage?

Considering I'm hearing many hilarious bugs are back, I would hope so.


axeil posted:

Wait, Tainer is going to Bleacher Report?

Yup, clickbait has won: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2184037-nfl-preview-2014-nfc-is-high-drama-afc-needs-a-reboot

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Mel Mudkiper posted:

seriously though guys what the gently caress is wrong with Peter King

He's a relic from when the national coverage for the NFL was in a weekly magazine and his folksy column worked well as one of the few ways to get to know little bits about players from around the country.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I'm guessing he wanted to dump the latin in there and his editor said gently caress you and Greg then went, well gently caress you I'm leaving that in there.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Aaron was just trying to rescue Odin from the death clutch of football.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



You'd think at some point you'd double check which one line writeup you were posting:

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Skeesix posted:

To be fair, Shaughnassey is kind of a chode.

In case y'all don't know how much of a chode he was... he's pretty much the guy who invented and cultivated the Curse of the Bambino poo poo.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



A cornball one at that.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Page 2 as a whole should've probably been put down once Grantland launched. I can't remember the last time I clicked into there.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



This is where we are as a people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMl_LMlbQsA

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



That could be bad news for Grantland. Please don't ruin one of the few things you do right ESPN.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Luckily I doubt anyone is reading him anyway, but an ESPN fantasy writer managed to mention Draft Kings 29 times in an article: http://deadspin.com/espns-matthew-berry-sells-credibility-to-draftkings-1731566734

Also he's a paid Draft Kings spokesman.



DRAFT KINGS

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



While they're undoubtedly growing huge due to football starting, I'd bet anything that the vast, vast majority of those 'users' are throwaway accounts in a small number of actual user's hands.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



According to the American Cancer Society, the 5-year relative survival rate for stage IV throat cancers:

44% Glottis (part of the larynx including the vocal cords)
34% Supraglottis (part of the larynx above the vocal cords)
24% Hypopharynx
32% Subglottis (part of the larynx below the vocal cords) (Rare)

So yeah, this is really bad.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



He honestly sounds like a D&D poster circa 2003-04 or so.

Has he ever called himself the Voice of Reason?

(Honestly he sounds like way too many HS/college students tweeting about politics, religion or video games).

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



warcrimes posted:

I don't twitter, what's the egg avatar thing?

It's the stupid newbie avatar equivalent for twitter.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Chilichimp posted:

So your dream is to watch Omar die?

I could easily see a Chicago fan (or any former co-worker of) wishing that of Jay Mariotti or a Boston fan and Dan Shaugnessey or a NY fan and anyone from the Post, so yeah, that makes sense.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Man, that just sounds so much less glamorous then Orange is the New black made mail order brides look.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Freezing Cold Takes just brought up some Omar goodness:

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Freezing Cold Takes is the best

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Mike Reiss is pretty good.

He gets worse the longer he's been with ESPN, but all in all he's still one of the earlier sources for reputable information.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



NC-17 posted:

the gently caress is he talking about gas masks and vietnam

He's trying to talk about Tunsil's video by relating it to how experienced Gil Brandt is and man is that a tortured segue.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Brocialist posted:

please tell me this isn't real

Gawker provides

http://kotaku.com/5888677/how-i-achieved-greatness-on-a-sonic-the-hedgehog-themed-bed

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



AAA DOLFAN posted:

How do I quote tweets? Omar has an amazingly lovely tweet from May 9 at 7:55am


KDx17 = Kenyan Drakes Twitter

Just paste the link to the tweet like this and it'll be autoconverted: (it won't convert in the preview you have to actually submit it)

paste this:
https://twitter.com/GREATBLACKOTAKU/status/730838043741978624

to get this:
https://twitter.com/GREATBLACKOTAKU/status/730838043741978624

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



I'm the devil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6zH4DWkp4I

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



http://theundefeated.com/features/implicit-bias-and-the-nfl-draft/

Have a decent article about racial bias in scouting and coaching.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Reichsführer-SS Peter King tweets: Stopped at Starbucks and the Barista offered me the new Buckenwald roast.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



The more you start thinking about nazi-Peter King quotes, the closer you get to Peter T. King quotes.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Tillman managed an interception 7000 miles from a football stadium.

Put him in the hall.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Pron on VHS posted:

I'm glad this dude is being petty about this, LaCanfora is the biggest loving turd in sports media

Oh man, I definitely can't go there with you.

LaCanfora sucks really bad, but I mean, Darren Rovell, Jason Whitlock, Skip Bayless, Colin Cowherd would be my 1-4 punches and that's not even counting like Jay Mariotti who I don't think we can even call a sports media guy anymore.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Got something good to talk about.

Dominque Foxworth, the former Broncos/Ravens/Falcons cornerback was on Barnwell's Monday podcast for the last half hour and went over a bunch of useful tells for reading what play is going to be run, and that he's running a weekly column on the undefeated analyzing all-22 footage of a team and talking about what they're doing on defense. He also dismisses a lot of the Josh Norman following guys around talk as utter nonsense which was interesting:

http://theundefeated.com/features/all-22-saints-v-giants/

quote:


4. Formation awareness.

The Saints’ only touchdown was on seam route to Willie Snead. The Saints fooled one of the safeties. The Giants were in cover 4 and the initial offensive formation had the tight end aligned to the offensive left, two backs in the backfield and two receivers to the right. Versus that formation, the tight end side safety should double-team the tight end with the cornerback. But that wasn’t the final formation. Before the snap, the fullback motioned to the right, past both receivers, creating a three-receiver formation and the threat of four verticals passing routes. When there are four eligible receivers near the line of scrimmage before the snap, the safeties are responsible for the two inside receivers if they run vertical routes. Of course they did. The safety didn’t recognize the fourth vertical threat, so he turned to double the tight end. Brees immediately recognized the mistake and found Snead wide open for the touchdown. I also thought that the defensive backs misplayed the Saints’ stack formations, but it didn’t hurt them. When receivers are “stacked,” aligned within a couple of feet of each other, inevitably one runs deep and the other runs a short route. The two defenders responsible for those receivers can “hi low” the stack. One defender bumps the first receiver at the line and sits there waiting for the short route and the other defender stands off of the line waiting to cover the deep route. It appeared that the Giants’ coaches didn’t give the defensive backs that tool. And as a result, the low guy was often open.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Of all things to skimp on...

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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Twitter is pretty lovely and sports fans are extremely gullible, a play in one act by Albert Breer:

https://twitter.com/AlbertBreer/status/798529469589913600

Read the responses and realize the article linked is about how nobody reads articles and just responds to headlines.

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