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I think my personal favorite is Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult
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Mar 15, 2012 18:25
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These might as well be a two-parter. Clinton Declares Self President-For-Life (2000) | Bill Clinton: 'Screw it, I'm Running for President' (2008) Non-politically though, I'm partial to this one: Even CEO can't figure out how RadioShack stays in business.
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Mar 15, 2012 18:58
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I've always been partial to 'Head Deadhead Dead' and 'Amish Give Up: 'This is bullshit,' Elders Say'.Larch Tote posted:"Sony Releases New Stupid Piece of poo poo That Doesn't loving Work." I know from a few friends that this video is insanely popular among ad execs and frequently starts off conferences.
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Mar 15, 2012 19:29
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I like this series of editorials: http://www.theonion.com/articles/seize-him,16505/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/infidel,16407/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-shall-make-an-excellent-queen,16398/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/oh-yes-i-am-still-very-much-alive,16638/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/and-now-for-some-amusement,16640/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/earth-prepare-to-meet-thy-doom,16667/ http://www.theonion.com/articles/my-old-nemesisso-we-meet-again,17647/
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Mar 15, 2012 19:42
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/basketball-rolls-to-stop-at-cheneys-foot,2512/ Basketball Rolls To Stop At Dick Cheney's Foot. Gets me any time. As do any other Dick Cheney ones.
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Mar 15, 2012 19:47
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One of the editors visited my school and mentioned this one; I have to agree. http://www.theonion.com/articles/special-olympics-tball-stand-pitches-perfect-game,25150/
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Mar 15, 2012 19:47
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The Onion really is hilarious. But sometimes it just gets really depressing and I have to stop. Like with this editorial, "There was definitely a part during that stoning where we all thought, "Is this weird?" http://www.theonion.com/articles/there-was-definitely-a-point-during-that-stoning-w,18165/ Or the "I Am So Starving Vs. I Am So Starving" one. http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-am-so-starving-vs-i-am-so-starving,11541/ I swear. The writers for that paper should get some sort of award.
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Mar 15, 2012 19:47
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I always found the one liner/picture articles funniest. There was a fantastic one around the time the Arab Spring was in full flow that just said "Saudi-Arabian Royal Family say 'Just loving Try It'" I miss B Smoove too.
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Mar 15, 2012 19:47
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I came here to post the "Jurisprudence Fetishist" headline too. My favorite article, though: Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths
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Mar 15, 2012 20:13
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Couldn't find it on the original site, so here's a mirror: Study Reveals: Babies Are Stupid
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Mar 15, 2012 20:35
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Investigators Blame Stupidity In Area Death I have yet to see something send me into chuckles as consistently as this piece.
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Mar 15, 2012 20:36
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A really old one I remember reading when I was in college, had no idea the onion was this old. Still funny though: Christ Returns to NBA and Burundi Beef Council: 'Please Send Beef'
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Mar 15, 2012 22:38
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Succession Of Terrible Events Fails To Befall 33-Year-Old Riding Longboard To Digital Media Job http://www.theonion.com/articles/succession-of-terrible-events-fails-to-befall-33ye,27597/ Good Cop, Bad Cop Both Racist http://www.theonion.com/articles/good-cop-bad-cop-both-racist,1702/
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Mar 15, 2012 22:42
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HMC posted:Pitchfork Gives Music 6.8 The first one is one of my favourites that I forgot about, good call. The second, however, started off funny and quickly became the most depressing thing I've ever read  To contribute further, Foster Mom A oval office http://www.theonion.com/articles/foster-mom-a-oval office,1139/ I love it when the articles are totally biased towards one character's viewpoint.
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Mar 15, 2012 22:52
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/action-figure-fights-on-despite-loss-of-dragon-swo,2653/ My favourite quote : - "I don't have my sword, but I still have my karate," announced Huntarr, who hails from the deepest tracts of the Amazon jungle, yet is somehow versed in Eastern martial arts. All the 9/11 articles are top notch, like the tv guide Discovery channel line up "What it was like to live a week ago"
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Mar 15, 2012 23:05
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"School Bully Not So Tough After Being Molested" No accompanying article.
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Mar 15, 2012 23:18
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every time I try to read an Onion article a window pops up telling me I have to pay for a subscription. is this some kind of joke?
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Mar 15, 2012 23:38
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I love the single line headlines. Haunted Tape Dispenser Unsure How To Demonstrate Hauntedness Shotgun Blast To Abdomen Just Pisses Wilford Brimley Off More Perverted Ninja Enjoys Being Seen Secret Service Not Sure If That Suit Of Armor Was In Oval Office Yesterday Winner Didn't Even Know It Was Pie-Eating Contest DashR posted:every time I try to read an Onion article a window pops up telling me I have to pay for a subscription. is this some kind of joke? Nothing popping up here.
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Mar 15, 2012 23:51
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DashR posted:every time I try to read an Onion article a window pops up telling me I have to pay for a subscription. is this some kind of joke? Yeah, they've had that paywall for at least a year now.  I've been clicking it then quickly ctrl-a, ctrl-c and pasting the text to read them.Apparently it's only for people outside of the US. lidnsya has a new favorite as of 00:01 on Mar 16, 2012 |
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Mar 15, 2012 23:59
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Rumsfeld Hosts No-Holds-Barred Martial Arts Tournament At Remote Island Fortress http://www.theonion.com/articles/rumsfeld-hosts-noholdsbarred-martial-arts-tourname,1143/
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Mar 16, 2012 00:13
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My favorite headline has to be Undergraduate Student Under Graduate Student. As far as articles go, Canada, India Sheepishly Resolve Border Dispute is probably their best.
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Mar 16, 2012 00:28
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lidnsya posted:Yeah, they've had that paywall for at least a year now. I don't get it in Canada at all.
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Mar 16, 2012 00:44
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As a Penn State Alum who has been ashamed in recent months, I enjoyed The Onion's handling of Joe Paterno, especially Jerry Sandusky: I’ll Never Forget All The Things Joe Paterno Did For Me.quote:"I had years of great times at Penn State," Sandusky said. "Years and years of great times. And I owe every minute to Joe Paterno." Even the day news of Paterno's death broke, The Onion pulled no punches:
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Mar 16, 2012 00:52
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I'm Canadian and I get that thing blocking the screen. Lady Gaga Kidnaps Commissioner Gordon. http://www.theonion.com/articles/lady-gaga-kidnaps-commissioner-gordon,17789/
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Mar 16, 2012 00:53
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HeyEng posted:Anything by Jim Anchower or the Biden news stories. Even though it's not the most biting satire, I love how committed they are to this version of Biden. White House Infested With Bedbugs After Biden Brings In Recliner Off The Curb Biden Invokes Freedom Of Information Act To Find Out When Woman Gets Off Work Biden Requests To Be Named Special Envoy To Reno Biden Asks White House Visitor If He Wants To Check Out Roof Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway
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Mar 16, 2012 00:54
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Celery Face posted:I'm Canadian and I get that thing blocking the screen. Bandai Recalls Lady Gaga
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Mar 16, 2012 01:00
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FDA urges Americans to check out weird-looking potato. http://www.theonion.com/articles/fda-urges-americans-to-check-out-weirdlooking-pota,27208/
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Mar 16, 2012 01:33
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Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Surpasses Two Hand Jobs
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Mar 16, 2012 01:37
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Hillary Clinton Threatened By Black Man Another headline without an article, but the picture was spot on.
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Mar 16, 2012 01:45
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Scrappy Band Of Lovable Misfits No Match For Rich Kids After all those movies in the 80s and 90s with the same premise, this one was hilarious.
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Mar 16, 2012 02:59
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Week of 9/11: 'America Stronger Than Ever,' Quadragon Officials Insist
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Mar 16, 2012 03:44
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Local Cop Kills Partner, Vows to Track Self Down I love the interview quotes, too. "Yeah, it'd be easy to track me down. I know all of my movements and habits. But knowing the system like I do, I'd just be out on bail by the end of the day." Or something like that.
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Mar 16, 2012 10:38
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Millions Of Barrels Of Oil Safely Reach Port In Major Environmental Catastrophe
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Mar 16, 2012 11:09
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I love the time when the onion was "taken over" by a Chinese fishing company. One of the articles during that time: http://www.theonion.com/articles/grandfather-disrespected-in-own-home,2757/ edit: and a story very close to my heart: http://www.theonion.com/articles/corruption-in-bosnian-government-reveals-existence,636/ ants on my cum rag has a new favorite as of 12:31 on Mar 16, 2012 |
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Mar 16, 2012 11:54
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This headline always makes me laugh: Dad's new 20-year old Thai boyfriend sucks at Scattergories
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Mar 16, 2012 15:51
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Point/Counterpoint: Sustainable Energy Solutions Are The Key To Our Country's Economic Future New Study Finds Blacks More Likely Ask Sir Mix-A-Lot Little Clay Thing Bought At Arts Festival
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Mar 16, 2012 16:11
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Larch Tote posted:I'm partial to "Sony Releases New Stupid Piece of poo poo That Doesn't loving Work." Came here to post this one. Working in tech support for tv/internet really makes you wish this wasn't as true as it really is.
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Mar 16, 2012 18:50
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"d[-.- posted:b"]  This headline has always stuck with me:A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again
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Mar 16, 2012 19:14
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