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ultrafilter posted:Abortion Stops a Beating
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Apr 14, 2012 00:50
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AFewBricksShy posted:Holy poo poo, I feel horrible for laughing at this as much as I am. I am definitely going to hell. I had pretty much the same reaction.
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Apr 14, 2012 01:02
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ultrafilter posted:Abortion Stops a Beating I thought this was brand new at first. Otherwise how could I never have heard of it? It's one of the perfect headlines because it's that classic onion soup of Pithy + Brilliant + God I Wish I Had Thought Of That
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Apr 14, 2012 05:24
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Barehanded Brother posted:I can't believe this one hasn't been posted yet. So many people fell for this on Facebook because they've never actually watched C-Span before: The very first O-SPAN video: O-SPAN: Live From Congress - The Skull loving Bill Of 2007
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Apr 14, 2012 06:28
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One more classic video: Newsroom: Ninja Parade Slips By Town Unnoticed Once Again
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Apr 14, 2012 06:34
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loving  Obama Launches More Realistic 'I Have Big Ideas But We'll See How It Goes' Campaign Slogan
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Apr 18, 2012 15:25
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Toad King posted:Bro, You're A God Among Bros I get the feeling they took this one and ran with it just to get puns out of their system for a while. I was able to keep a straight face right up until "Broseidon, lord of the brocean."
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Apr 18, 2012 16:09
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Idiot Kicker posted:I love this, and pretty much all other, infographics.
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Apr 18, 2012 18:53
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New autistic reporter story: Four American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis
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Apr 18, 2012 23:02
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Someone already posted Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off On Technicality which is the cleverest thing I have ever read, but I also quite like War On String May Be Unwinnable, Says Cat General.
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Apr 19, 2012 05:46
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It's a testament to the quality of their humor that they still exist, despite the ad-crippled and impossible to search or navigate website. I can't find my favorite: it's a weekender with a headline similar to: "Sentence fragment followed by a colon then a question: legitimate journalistic technique?"
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Apr 19, 2012 06:03
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Mescal posted:It's a testament to the quality of their humor that they still exist, despite the ad-crippled and impossible to search or navigate website. I can't find my favorite: it's a weekender with a headline similar to: "Sentence fragment followed by a colon then a question: legitimate journalistic technique?" This one? 
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Apr 19, 2012 07:19
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Numb Three Ers posted:This one? YES. This here is the essence of pithy media criticism.
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Apr 19, 2012 07:46
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Today A Shoulders And Triceps Day, Area Man Reveals 14 Seconds Into Conversation
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Apr 20, 2012 00:53
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Hanks Lust Cafe posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUT8ec24anM So glad someone posted this, this is my favorite thing to ever come out of The Onion.
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Apr 21, 2012 03:40
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Everything involving Joad Cressbeckler is great. Joad Cressbeckler: Homosexuality A Necessity On Cold Mountaintops I also like National Dating Standards Lowered.
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Apr 21, 2012 15:41
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Lysidas posted:Everything involving Joad Cressbeckler is great. Yes! I love the Joad Cressbeckler spots. The most recent one: Joad Cressbeckler Denies He Incited Mob To Drag Congressman Through Briar Patch. I especially like the way his show makes fun of the idiotic segment branding on other cable news shows.
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Apr 21, 2012 23:08
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From High Unemployment Linked To Increasing Number Of Face Tattoos
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Apr 22, 2012 04:46
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/bill-gates-grants-self-18-dexterity-20-charisma,837/ It's hard for me to believe thats from 1997
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Apr 28, 2012 02:07
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RentACop posted:http://www.theonion.com/articles/bill-gates-grants-self-18-dexterity-20-charisma,837/ quote:Gates is also rumored to be in possession of a bag of holding containing one terabyte of information, as well as over 100 billion gold and silver pieces.
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Apr 28, 2012 03:04
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This one just showed up in a related videos search on youtube: Software Indicates Missing Child Likely A Prostitute By Now It's hilarious but my God I felt bad for laughing. The picture-in-picture reactions of the mother are great, and the line,"Please note the defining characteristic of the deep sadness in her eyes," is amazing.
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May 3, 2012 22:24
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Police Say School Shooter Had History of School Shootings "He was always a bit unusual, but I never thought he'd do anything like this...again."
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May 4, 2012 01:44
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Following Death Of Adam Yauch, Grieving China Frees Tibet Rarely has too soon been done so well.
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May 4, 2012 22:49
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I'm Like A Chocoholic, But For Booze Having The Onion in the mid 90s before it was national was probably the best thing about growing up in Milwaukee. Back then they often didn't even bother to lay it out properly so sometimes articles would just be padded out with "Passerby's were amazed by the large amounts of blood. Passerby's were amazed by the large amounts of blood." just repeated a hundred times, it was awesome.
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May 5, 2012 20:41
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President Obama works out an agreement to have Republicans in Congress kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing.
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May 7, 2012 19:04
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redmercer posted:President Obama works out an agreement to have Republicans in Congress kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing. I love the stray comment about Obama's rhetoric after they "quote" him.
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May 7, 2012 19:25
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Dogcow posted:I'm Like A Chocoholic, But For Booze So that's why those lines are in all of the Onion books. I was wondering about that.
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May 7, 2012 19:37
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Paula Deen Sponsors .05K Walk For Diabetes Research
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May 8, 2012 09:07
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May 15, 2012 09:44
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redmercer posted:President Obama works out an agreement to have Republicans in Congress kick him in the balls in exchange for nothing. There's a great related video link to Joe Biden trying to make American women hotter, with some pretty neat photoshops of "Diamond Joe" in it.
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May 15, 2012 11:52
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One of my favorite recent videos: DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack
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May 15, 2012 13:45
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Numb Three Ers posted:This one? One of my favorites. Another classic Weekender headline: 
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May 15, 2012 20:27
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Many of the links posted are fantastic. The phrase "Good Cop Bad Cop Both Racist" might be my favorite. I've always been partial to: Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory Dog Finds Absolutely Perfect Place to poo poo Grad Student Deconstructs Take Out Menu
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May 16, 2012 20:09
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Scientists Discover Gene Responsible For Eating Whole Goddamn Bag Of Chips Child Earns Clock Radio For 78 Hours Of Work Area Man Gets New Phone, Cardboard Box, Bubble Wrap, Polystyrene Blocks, Plastic Bag, Twist Ties
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May 16, 2012 21:16
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This new one is pretty funny: Tens of Thousands Dead In Ongoing Africa
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May 16, 2012 21:23
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http://www.theonion.com/video/study-nearly-80-percent-of-roommates-got-so-drunk,14228/ Study shows nearly 80 percent of roommates got so drunk last night. The best part is the reporter at the end " In other news, a poll shows Americans would vote for whichever candidate promises to kill the devil" http://www.theonion.com/video/manufacturer-recalls-hollow-point-bullets-that-fai,14319/ Manufacturer recalls hollow point bullets that fail to explode inside targerts. Pookum has a new favorite as of 01:55 on May 17, 2012 |
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May 17, 2012 01:51
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Yehudis Basya posted:Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory Whoa, this was from the Onion? They talked about it on QI a little while ago.
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May 17, 2012 02:48
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There`s this girl at my university who is constantly smiling, laughing, and playing songs on a stupid little ukulele. I thought I was a jerk for irrationally hating her, so I was glad to see I`m not the only one who hates really happy/friendly people: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd4tugPM83c&feature=relmfu She says "cool beans" ALL THE TIME.
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May 17, 2012 05:09
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Another classic: Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids
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May 18, 2012 17:46
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Onion editorial cartoonist Stan Kelly gets a video of his own: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_aDIY8OJog
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May 18, 2012 18:54
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