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Zoph
Sep 12, 2005

Malloreon posted:

The funniest thing I have ever seen on the Onion was a headline with no story, no link.

"Baby Can Feel Daddy Kick"

I feel terribly every time I think about it, but it's also impossibly hilarious.

Similarly brilliant in its brevity:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/diorama-of-rome-built-in-a-day,8785/

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Zoph
Sep 12, 2005

I want to thank this thread for giving me the heads up on Sex House. I never remember to check the site for content, I just follow The Onion's Facebook feed. This is amazing.

Zoph
Sep 12, 2005


This is loving phenomenal.

Zoph
Sep 12, 2005


The last line is pretty great, because people have been saying that for years and it never happens.

Zoph
Sep 12, 2005

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

Kidnapped Teen Freed, Though Freedom Is Its Own Kind Of Prison, Is It Not?

One of the rare Onion pieces where the article itself is infinitely funnier than the headline.

I like to imagine the article was written by one of her classmates.

This was already well on its way to being a new all-time favorite for me, and then I scrolled down to find the "Works Cited" section. Dead.

Zoph
Sep 12, 2005

Wal-Mart Asks Workers To Donate Food To Its Needy Employees

Oh, wait.

Zoph
Sep 12, 2005


I drive a 97 Taurus that I put a Dole/Kemp 96 sticker on for laughs. The Onion is stalking my life.

Zoph
Sep 12, 2005

Delighted Health Insurance Executives Gather In Outdoor Coliseum To Watch Patient Battle Cancer

:stare:

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Zoph
Sep 12, 2005

Robert Denby posted:

Hurricane Ashley Expected to Strike Several Bars This Cinco De Mayo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWQN5-Top6g

gently caress, it's my ex girlfriend, Ashley.

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